Men please respond...BF acting like a jerk

[missmar]

Hi

 

I have been dating this guy Mike for 7mos and most of the time he was doing the chasing...always calling me and making plans. He used to get upset that I did not call him first.

 

Anyway, I took a job out of town and he watched my cats for the week. He was kinda of angry with me before I left because we did not spend Thanksgving together because we had a little fight. While I was away I would call him once a day to check up on the kitties and he would NEVER answer the phone...went straight to voice mail. He we call later around 9pm and tell everything is fine with the cats.

 

When I got we got together and hung out on Saturday...everything seemed fine. He invited me to a xmas party and he wanted me to bring my friend MJ (who is really cute) and I said something about him wanting an entourage around him. Well that started a fight and he said he was going by himself.

 

I hung out with his Mom that night and the worst thing happened my cat Pepper died right in front of me and his mom. (he was very old). Anyway I called Mike crying and he came over and comforted me.

 

The next morning I decided I was not going back to the job out of town, that I really did not want to be away from home, and I quit...it was a contract job. I was a wreck the whole day dealing with the loss of my cat and HE is Acting like a JERK...not be comforting, told me to take valuum and to keep myself busy around the house while he would go bury Pepper. He was also yelling at me to take off my sun glasses, but I wouldn't because my eyes were swollen. Anyway, I wind up cooking dinner for him that night, and we fell asleep shortly after. I kept waking up in the middle of the night and he got so irritated that I woke him that he announced he was going home. He was screaming and yelling that I care nothing about him and how tired he was.... I did not say a word as he was ranting and raving and just as he was leaving I said... Don't forget your phone. He took his phone a said NEVER CALL ME AGAIN!!!

 

I was so upset dealing with Pepper's death, quiting my job, and then he pulls this. Needless to say I am still in shock. His mom kept calling me when she found out from Mike that I was never to call him again. I asked her if there was someone else and she swears there is noone else.

 

Guys...answer this question for me NO Man leaves a women and less there is a replacement...He told his Mom not to talk to me anymore. I swear I want to spy and find out if there is another women....but I really don't want to get caught. It's funny the bimbo upstairs from me had the hots for him and she has been giving me funny looks....She hasn't been home all night. What should I do....should I find out if he is seeing her or leave it alone...PLEASE HELP

[Beec]

Leave it alone.

 

I've left women even when there was no one else. I left when the relationship just was not giving what I sought. Sometimes fights like this are excuses to get out when the real reason is that you no longer want to be there and just do not know why.

 

Leave it and him alone for now.

[bigheart09]

I know your instinct is to think there is someone else, but I would just let it go. He will probably calm down and call you when he wants to talk

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I think he is, simply, an innate jerk.

 

My own concern is that you'd take him back if he asked, when in fact he doesn't deserve it. If you ever get tempted, consider jsut how plain rude he is.

[Iceman26]

In my past I dumped women with no "replacement". I never "needed" someone there, but it was always nice when someone was.

 

At any rate, I agree. Leave it alone and see what happens. I am sorry for the loss of your cat.

[kellbell]

Hey there,

 

I am not a guy but I felt the need to repsond anyway because your situation hit close to home. I dated a guy whom acted similar to your ex. When I had severe family problems years ago (everything is okay now. ) I went to my ex for comfort, a hug or something. While I was explaining what happened, he was busy looking for his glasses. So, there I was, an emotional wreck and all he cared about was his freakin' glasses!

 

So we eventually went out to dinner. We had a nice time, good food and good conversation. When we left the restaurant, I thanked him for taking me out and for the nice dinner. His response was, "you can pay me back later..." He was SERIOUS!!

 

What stuck a cord with me about your post is how detatched your ex was to your pain and misfortune as my ex was with me. My take on it, based on personal experience, either your ex did not give a hoot about your feelings or does not have a clue on how to handle these situations. My ex did not give a hoot. All in all, your ex cannot give you what you are looking for or what you need. At this point, it is irrevelent whether your ex has someone else because he is not the one for you. My ex caused me so much pain because he just not care nor was he boyfriend material. So, in that sense, it did not matter if he left me for someone else. He was NOT the guy for me. It sounds like you are very sensetive, in tune with your feelings and emotions and because of that, your ex had no clue on how to handle these parts of your personality. It is no one's fault per sae, just blame it on imcompatibility.

 

I am so sorry you are hurting. And about your kitty. I too have a kitty. I know it hurts like heck to be rejected as you have been, but it sounds like he was not the one for you. Hang in there and don't be a stranger.

 

(((BIG HUGS)))

[missmar]

Hey Kell Bell

 

This is not the first time he has lost his temper with me....most of the time i deserved it. But he was always the one calling me back and wanting to talk through it. That's why I believe he is with someone else and it is just killing me. Thank you for mentioning kitty and your kind words

[kellbell]

Hey matme,

 

No problem! Glad to help.

 

I feel your ex does not know how to handle relationship issues in a more pro-social manner. And it is my belief that one can see a person's true colors in times of stress and adversity. You are lucky in some sense because you have seen glimpes of how your ex truly is in the past so you know what you are dealing with. Some people are not so lucky. I know you may not feel so lucky now but in time you will.

 

These things take time, I wish there was a magic wand to take the pain away but sometimes experiencing pain allows for growth and change. Hang in there okay.

[heartlessromantic]

If I don't feel like things can be worked out, I try to break up with somebody before there is a replacement - don't feel right about doing it the "easier" way... borderline cheating if you ask me.

 

As for your ex, he sounds very insensitive. Seems like he's lost all patience with the relationship. What's the story here, if it's relevant?

 

I wouldn't worry too much about what might be going on in the background. It doesn't really matter now, does it? Trust issues will only be relevant if you guys decide to try and work things out.

[Orfeo]

This is not the first time he has lost his temper with me....most of the time i deserved it.

 

No offense, but I don't think anyone deserves to have someone get really angry with them. You deserve better, and it may be hard but you should be glad that you are rid of him. Sorry about your cat

[need2bme]

It seems to me as if he is a little self centered or controlling. Who cares about sunglasses. What a silly thing to argue about.

 

I hold some belief in the fact that people usually have someone else lined up, before they move on, or at least that is how it has been in my case.

 

In fact, the girl I was just seeing was seing someone right up until the time she told me she wanted to be exclusive. Of course, she may be back with him now.

 

Anyone who can go off like that EVER, in my opinion, is not worth pining over, especially if he doesn't even want to try to talk about it.

 

Also, if he does have someone else, it will only hurt more, when you find out. Don't go looking...

[silentalways]

how are u feeling now? did u get another cat? how old were u were u first got her/him? i have never owned a pet [allergies] but people that do love them very much - sorry about yer loss.

 

as for his lack of socials - i think women forget men at taught to grunt, scratch their balls and hunt for food and sometimes don't 'hear' well.

 

but seriously, sounds like he just skipped a class of two of cognitive development 101. i can admit i flunked the course twice - but i don't wanna stay in school forever so i have been studying hard - the teacher is a hottie so i have not missed a class yet - wink

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

Don't rule him out yet. Because men and women reaction to things are different. I suggest you read a book called "I love you more" by Parrott.

 

For example, in a social setting one of your friend is crying after receiving a phone call from family about death of a relative. 1. Would you go there to talk to him or her or 2. would you let him/her to have some alone time to put her together? Though some would suggest to act on 1, I would prefer to act on 2 because I don't want to be asked about the sad news which make me cry again. I would prefer to be left alone. I would do the same with my friends.