Do some guys just not like giving oral?

[happyascanbe]

My husband and I have been together 6 yrs, he has never been big on giving me oral. I think only about 10 times. Sex has getting a lot better the past 6 months so I have wanted it more lately but he will not do it. Last yr when he finely did it after I begged him too he want soft, so I told him to stop. He has done it two times after that and it was really good. He knows I love it and I just don't understand why he is not more willing to do it. I make sure I am always clean, and well waxed. I am still attractive and we have a good sex life. But when I am ready and he said "I really don't want to" it kills my mood. I do every thing he likes. What more can I do?

[Day_Walker]

Sadly some people just arent into giving oral sex, its not really something that you are going to change about them. If it is that important to you then you can encourage him to do it by some sort of compromise but I dont know how far that will get you.

[chai714]

The bottom line is that some guys just don't enjoy giving it. Even if you're waxed and squeaky clean down there, some guys won't do it.

 

How could you influence him to want to do it? My only suggestion would be to watch a flick with him that includes a guy going down on a woman, then vice versa. Otherwise, it might be difficult. You might have to accept this and live with it.

[honeyspur]

Have you thought about accepting it? Is there a reason you are not giving him understanding? Is it making you feel bad about yourself?

 

Yes, lots of guys don't like giving oral. They don't like the taste, the mess that kicks up, whatever. Lots of women don't like giving oral either - it's best not to look at it as a "man" issue.

 

Maybe he feels insecure because you enjoy it so much, it's now become the focus of your desire. If your sex life really is good, let go of this need.

 

Try making a compromise. Try coming up with a "quota" he can agree on.

Once a month? Something minimal. Give him some control of it.

And as always, if you approach him gently and sweetly, you can ask him what you could do to make it better.

 

If he tells you directly and clearly it does not appeal to him, you have to be strong and not take it so personally. It might not be YOU - it might just be his preference.

[agent1607307371]

Ido every thing he likes. What more can I do?

 

If there is something that you don't like to do, stop doing it.

[happyascanbe]

yes it make me feel bad about my slef, there are things that i dont enjoy doing but i love it when he is happy so i do them. its not like i feel i HAVE to but i want him to have a good time. i dont feel its too much to ask that he give me a little of what i want everyonce and a while. but i dont want to seem like a Bitc#.

[itsallgrand]

Question: does it bother him to do it or is it just one of those things that doesn't get his motor cranked?

 

If it's the later, it's workable. Refrain from giving him his 'special treats' (you know, certain things he LOVES but you do mainly for him).

Find a comprimise - he'll have motivation this way. First, he does what you like, then you do what he loves. And ONLY when he goes out of the way to initiate oral do you give it to him.

 

It is true that there are people that simply aren't that into oral sex, or other things... We all have our preferences.

 

But, the way I see it is, that doesn't mean that our partner/ourselves should never experience that pleasure with the one we love! Maybe not as much as we like....but there are certain things we do that are more or less selfless and for the other...that don't make us particularly turned on, but it is enjoyable to watch the other in bliss and to pleasure...you know, waking up in the morning early to make sure he gets a few extra minutes of sleep, things like this...

 

It's not unreasonable to want it, or to do what is within your power to get it so long as you respect him in the process, and continue to enjoy one another.

 

Don't do EVERYTHING he likes. Make him work for some of it.

[honeyspur]

agent is right. It's time to stop doing things you don't like.

Sometimes a relationship is not about making someone happy all the time.

You can do it without it becoming a fight. He may not care if you stop - which may make you realize how focused you are on this - and it's probably not necessary.

 

Being "entitled" is dangerous territory to get into. I understand you don't feel like it's too much to ask - but this a relationship with 2 perpectives, not 1. You may have to bend and work on your own self esteem.

"Needing" sex to the point where you are feeling emotionally distressed and starting to lay judgement on your partner, is an issue that lies with you - not him.

If you take the pressure off and focus on the non-sexual aspect of your relationship, you may see things change. Maybe there is something non-sexual he wants from you - it could become a fair trade.

 

You are very loving and thoughtful, so it's not about you being demanding - it's just about strength and taking more care of yourself. Indulge in some time with yourself more often. I know you can't give yourself oral, LOL, but you can have more orgasms and that might settle your impatience.

[rose2summer]

Well, I have been in your shoes and it's very frustrating.

 

In the past, all guys before my ex were more than happy to please me, and oral wasn't #1 for me, but touching down there.

 

My ex said it offended him because he felt he wasn't pleasing me enough through intercourse if I asked him to touch me down there, he took it as a hit to his ego.

 

Could this maybe be a possible other reason besides not liking it that has motivated your husband not to give it?

 

I became very frustrated after awhile and thought he was super selfish because he wanted oral but he wouldn't even touch me, so I stopped giving him oral and he noticed it.

 

Well, the frustrations build and we are no longer together, not for that reason, but for many more, so I can definitely relate to you there.

 

Hugs, Rose

[shikashika]

I've never been with a guy who didn't like oral... i really don't understand why he would have a problem with it... wouldn't he do it to please you even? is he picky and finicky in other areas of his life?

[happyascanbe]

well last night I could tell something was up, he said he didn’t want to, I didn’t say anything back so he asked if I was mad I said no. he started touching and playing, then he started kissing my legs. I wanted it so bad, I told him that was the biggest tease ever. Then he just stops and starts having sex. Killed my mood, and he could tell. He stopped and said you are not enjoying this at all are you. I just said, I was really close. He finished and I finished myself . Then all he said was you don’t like my penis any more. I said whatever (we have good sex and he knows is) so he said way to change the subject so I said well I feel like you done like my vagina so I guess we are even (I know I should not have said that, but he was turning it into something it is not) he feels like he is not a man unless his penis can do it all. I read on Sue Johanson’s web sit 87% of women only get at orgasm with oral sex. this is so not about his penis…..

[happyascanbe]

is he picky and finicky in other areas of his life?

 

funny you should say that... he is!!!!!!!

[rose2summer]

Wow, he is so much like my ex, playing the oh, I don't please you with my penis alone line.

 

That shows a sign of insecurity on his part or major machisimo.

[shikashika]

do you give him oral sex too?

 

it sounds like he is about insecure about himself... do you caref or his penis, give it attention... as you would like to have done to yourself?

[rose2summer]

This situation is such a sticky one to deal with.

 

He just is so enveloped in being manly that he feels his penis alone should do the job, well in the ideal world that may work, but this is real life.

 

I gave everything to my ex, I don't even know how many times I gave him oral in dressing rooms, etc, everywhere, and I didn't receive anything back, it was such a bore for me after a while.

 

I completely understand how you feel.

 

Over time, I felt like something was wrong with me, so I waxed everything off, scrubbed extra well, etc, and nothing worked for him, so I chalked it off as a him problem, since all other guys in my past loved pleasing me.

[happyascanbe]

yes, and i am not a big fan of it i almost alway every time we have sex use that in 4play, and i did last night. i know he likes it b/c even last night he said "man you are so good at that!"

[shikashika]

yes, and i am not a big fan of it i almost alway every time we have sex use that in 4play, and i did last night. i know he likes it b/c even last night he said "man you are so good at that!"

 

 

well he should recipracte the favour then!!!

[rose2summer]

You're first step then is to stop giving it to him.

 

When he questions why, you say, because you are choosing not to please me, and I feel relationships are about reciprocation.

 

It's not fair that you are a free dispenser and he won't even make the effort to make you feel special and good.

[happyascanbe]

i have thought about that, but ne didnt bug me when i didnt do it i just saw how much he did like it and stared. i dont feel like i should withold something to get somthing. ya know?

[Corvette]

Most of the male friends I have are not interested in giving oral, they think it is dirty. I love to give it as I know the benfits of having a happy wife.

[shikashika]

Most of the male friends I have are not interested in giving oral, they think it is dirty. I love to give it as I know the benfits of having a happy wife.

 

 

gosh. sure gald i haven't met any of these guys yet... guess i'm lucky i haven't had to meet one yet... maybe their girls aren't waxed or clean?

[Corvette]

gosh. sure gald i haven't met any of these guys yet... guess i'm lucky i haven't had to meet one yet... maybe their girls aren't waxed or clean?

 

 

My best friend g/f is waxed but he still will not do it to her.

[shikashika]

i have thought about that, but ne didnt bug me when i didnt do it i just saw how much he did like it and stared. i dont feel like i should withold something to get somthing. ya know?

 

no i don't think you should withold something.... but i really don't see any valid arguments on his side as for not giving it..

 

it sounds like he's just being whiny... waa waa i don't like it.. boo hoo!

[happyascanbe]

My best friend g/f is waxed but he still will not do it to her.

 

does he say why or if there is somthing she can do so he might be more willing?

[Corvette]

does he say why or if there is somthing she can do so he might be more willing?

 

He says he does not like the smell etc.