Does age really matter?

[bikjj]

Hey, I am curious but does it matter about age? For example, some of my friends are 30+ but meet females ranging from 22 upwards. When I dated a female she was 18 when I was 24.

 

Does age really matter because I am a bit older now and just come out of a long term relationship, and suddenly its hit me that I aint in my early 20's anymore. I get interest from females ranging from 19 upwards. I have a few girls who like me but are in the age of 22 to 26, but I dont know whether this is a good thing?

 

What is your views

[sparkle1]

"Age is nothing but a number?" "you're only as old as the woman you feel?"

 

I say go for it!! lots of men would love to be in your 'predicament'!!

 

The only negative thing to having a relationship with a younger lady or man is the older you get...the bigger the age gap seems.

 

On a whole, i think age gaps can be positive things for a relationship.

X

[bikjj]

Can i ask you sparkle, why do alot of females ask me my age after engaging in conversations with different women? I enjoy talking but I most oftenly get a random 'how old are you'?

 

I have been told that the attraction of females with me is the caring father traits. They feel safe then become emotional, like the reassurance they are ok, and confide in me, and then they wanna date me.

By then, I dont know whether this is a good thing.

[sparkle1]

Hmm i wouldn't say that it was neccessarilly the best thing in the world. i don't look for men who are fatherly or make me feel secure...but then i am pretty secure in myself.

 

i would suppose the reason they ask is because they like you....and have probably spoken to their friends about this thus wanting to check your age...

 

Do you ask their age? and if so at what point?

 

You say you are attracting women from 19 upwards...may i ask how old you are?

 

Age isn't a big factor for me...personally i date older men becoz i prefer the conversation...and the experience

[bikjj]

Well I tend to avoid the ones who want a father trait boyfriend. However, i also attract females who like my wisdom and knowledge but again they range from 19 upwards. I dated a 35 lawyer who liked the fact I was knowledgeable, seemed content, and was in touch with my feminine side.

 

I dont ask females age because more often then not, they will tell me quite early on or I will work it out by what they do, if they have done a degree, from friends, looks etc. 95% they tell me outright then ask me mine.

 

So its not a bad thing if they ask me my age? I am 30.

[serve_the_people]

What matters is that you find someone is actually shares the same interests and ideas as you, and with whom you can be best friends. The intimate friendship should be there first before you start a relationship with a girl.

[sparkle1]

No course its not a bad thing!! I mean - she'll have to find out at some point!

 

30? is that all?!? I thought you were gonna say 50 or something!

 

I really don't think you have anything to worry about - except getting involved with girls who want you to be a fatherly influence!

[bikjj]

Cool. I suppose since we are being open, I have been called too old sometimes but this could be true but also and a dig by girls who I dont date. I will chill out abit more.

 

I also agree, that being friends and everything is important first. Its all so complicated.

 

So why do girls date older men ?

[sixpounder]

my girlfriend turns 19 in 2 months and i just turned 17 like 3 months ago

[sparkle1]

Why do girls date older men???

 

Why do men date slim girls? blondes? brunettes?!!

 

Its all about choice...

 

I like older men because i feel i have more in common with older men then lads my own age or younger...and i feel older men stop trying to prove something to them selves and others!!

 

I think age only becomes a problem either like Sheyda says, or because you let it

[bikjj]

ok cool, Sheyda thats a good point that ' you didn't choose to date him because of his age, though; youchose to date him because I liked him'. I like that, I will chill out and be less paranoid.

[Caterina]

I don't think age matters, but maturity does. Also, where someone is in life. I've dated younger men before, but they were just entering college while I was working on my career. Its really nice to date someone when you don't have to worry about whether or not they are spending too much on you when you go out on dates with them.

[shes2smart]

My husband is 11 years younger than me.

 

The last bf I had before meeting him was 18 years older than me.

 

My experiences in both of those relationships alone shattered any generalizations I may have made about potential mates because of their age.

 

As long as both you and your potential partner are of an age to be considered legal adults where you live, what's important is how the two of you interact and get along and if you have similar relationship goals.

 

That being said, age is an important factor for some folks and they will exclude people out of a certain age range from consideration for romantic relationships. That's fine...they have every right to make that determination for themselves. It's no different from having preference for "tall" or "blonde" or "short" or "fat" or "Christian" or whatever. It's when people use those preferences as excuses to treat others poorly or be rude or mean to them that it becomes a problem.

[itsallgrand]

Age does matter. It means something - being alive longer.

 

Just being honest, here. Life experience and age matter. You can argue this til the cows come home about the exceptions (being young and having a lot of experience, maturity, whatnot and vice versa).

Regardless, there are some things that you simply have to live longer to find out.

To see the larger picture. To live through certain things.

 

I'm kinda tired of hearing people neutralizing the importance of age.

 

That said: I don't think that a person necessarily has to date a person exactly their age to find a good match as a partner. But to go into it without thinking there are differences and expectations, I think is foolish.

 

Just my views.

[sparkle1]

I'm kinda tired of hearing people neutralizing the importance of age

 

I think you'll find it isn't neutralizing persa....its opionion. Personal opinion.

 

To me it doesn't matter to the point of not liking someone. There is off course limits.

 

To some people age is very important.

 

No one is neutralizing....just expressing a view.

 

Sparklex

[itsallgrand]

Right, sparkle: expressing a view which neutralizes the importance of age within relationships.

 

Just clarifying. Not arguing.

[AwdreeHpburn]

Yes - age matters. There are even laws to protect those of a certain age so at least the gov't thinks age matters to SOME degree.....

 

BUT, if you're talking about two consenting adults - why WOULD age matter?

 

In my personal opinion, I think if a girl is at the same maturity level as a 30 year old guy when she's 19, then she's probably really mature for her age........

 

....or he's really immature for his.

 

Either way, it's probably a good match up!

[AwdreeHpburn]

What is persa?

 

And what does neutralising the importance of age mean exactly?

[sparkle1]

What is persa?

 

And what does neutralising the importance of age mean exactly?

 

 

per se (pr s, s)

adv.

Of, in, or by itself or oneself; intrinsically.

 

I spelt it wrong!!

 

Neutralizing....trying to be neutral....lowing the importance of something in this case.

 

I'm stepping out of this now....

[bikjj]

I thought things were getting fired up above! Well I am mature for my age, and I have had too many experiences. I think age aint number but a number but I agree there is a 'common' sense limit.

 

My cut off is about 22 years. I do not go for anyone younger than that. But I think maturity matters.

 

My question was a gerneral question to get views.

[AwdreeHpburn]

hmmmmm.....sensitive topic for most I guess.

 

I didn't mean to offend. I really didn't get it.

 

Sorry per se should've been an obvious one. I'm just not very bright.

 

I love heated topics........

[Dako]

Some folks date to meet someone to possibly marry, have kids and get old together. In that case similar ages might be helpful.

Some folks care about how they look together and seek approval from friends and family.

Some are only attracted to people quite similar to themselves.

 

None of the above apply to me.

I'm 54.

[Lilu]

Hi

 

My opinion:

 

Age difference has nothing to do with love. It doesn't matter whether you're 2,5,10 years younger/older than your partner. If there's respect, love, sincerity, then nothing else matters.

 

I'm 7 years younger than my boyfriend, and cannot explain the joy he brings to my life.

[Sheyda]

Just being honest, here. Life experience and age matter. You can argue this til the cows come home about the exceptions (being young and having a lot of experience, maturity, whatnot and vice versa).

Regardless, there are some things that you simply have to live longer to find out.

To see the larger picture. To live through certain things.

 

I agree that this is true for most people, but as with many things it cannot be generalised (even if it applies to most) and it really does depend upon the two individuals involved as to whether the age could pose a problem or not. No one can assume the poster and their love interest aren't exceptions, or that one is and the other isn't, or that they are both exceptions. All we have to go on is what the poster says about themselves and the person they like, which is usually going to be biased anyway. So we can't really state any solid facts about the outcome of their relationship, all we can do is share our opinions and personal experiences and hope that it helps the poster make the right decision for themselves.

[itsallgrand]

Every one is entitled to live according to how they see fit. I guess my views aren't very popular, but that is okay. It is only mine, and wouldn't be good for all.

 

I do think that a part of it is cultural and social. Like, here I go getting all dippy-girl on ya', but why would this question even be posed? What possible motivation would someone have to ask this - unless they wanted to gauge what the general consensus is on whether it is acceptable or not?

To get a little social imput.

 

Any one writing on this forum has money enough that they live somewhere that a person would be 16+ to be a legal adult in soceity. And most of us are probably writing from NA or another democratic soceity. Democratic soceities - the age gap question. Most others find age gaps normal.

 

just thinking...no right or wrong.