Im Only 15 (Help please!)

[FallingTooFast]

Hi,

I'm 15 years old.

My boyfriend and I had started having sex October 17th(I lost it to him,) and just started using condoms...

I've been having pregnancy scares since then. I try to convince myself that they're just stress symptoms because some of them are (headaches, backaches, fatigue.) But some aren't from stress (discharge, darker colored areas on my breast, bloated feeling) and my period isn't supposed to come until the end of the month.

I've researched it and all the symptoms with my boyfriend, and I think we may be just psyked out.

Im only 15, i really can't hold that responsibility.

And if I am pregnant, how do i break it to my family, they don't know anything of what I've done.

I Love him to death, and plan on having children with him someday, but not now.

I don't know what to do, I'm so confused.

 

Please help.

[sixpounder]

your best bet would be to take a pregnancy test. their isn't a whole lot you can do until you take it. another thing is if that you do end up being pregnant, do NOT wait to tell your folks or a doctor to see your options. and if you arent pregnant try considering the pill, and always use a condom

[bebecole]

yeah just go out and buy a pregnancy test

[FallingTooFast]

But sometimes they're wrong. And sometimes you take them too early.

When we started using condoms they seemed to always break.

And if I start the pill, my parents will know I've had sex.

[n83]

You're more worried about your parents knowing you're having sex than you are about preventing pregnancy?? Something is badly wrong with that. You need to act like a grownup if you're going to do grownup things like potentially making babies. You really should think about that before you have sex again. Hopefully you're not pregnant this time around but next time you may not be so lucky.

[sixpounder]

and its obviously not too early to take a pregancy test because your showing a 2 week pregnancy symptom are you not?, the condoms you were using could have been old. just go out and buy a different kind

[agent1607307371]

If the condoms are breaking, you aren't using them properly. And thus leaving yourself wide open for pregnancy (and other things).

 

If there is a planned parenthood near you, go.

 

Take a test, yes sometimes they are wrong, but it's miniscule. Take a couple to be sure. Get on some other kind of contraception alongside condoms.

 

Which is preferable? Your parents knowing you're having sex or being a parent yourself?

[qtpie38]

Honey, if I were you, I would get a pregnancy test regardless of if you think they're wrong sometimes. They are also sometimes right. When is your period due? There are some pregnancy tests that say on the box that they are for before you get your period. Depending on when you take them, is how effective they are at being right.

 

Also, you can go to a F.P.H.S. (Family Planning) near you and they will do it for free and confidential as long as you are 15 and don't have a job. They check you out, give you condoms, morning after pills and birth control to you for free.

 

Good luck and be safe. I would use at least two contraceptive devices to ensure a less chance of getting pregnant in the future.

[booberry]

If your condoms are always breaking you really aren't using them properly.

 

Some tips:

 

Make sure to use lubrication if you need it, and if you do, one that it isn't OIL based (as oil and latex dont mix well)

 

when you put the condom on, pinch the tip of it (that little nub on the end) between your forefinger and thumb, and roll it on ALL THE WAY TO THE BASE. then you can let go of the tip. This will keep all the air bubbles out of the latex, and decrease the chances of it breaking.

 

It's only been one month since you started having sex, so you're probably a bit paranoid about everything. I remember I was. Do yourself a favour and get a pregnancy test, and get on the pill if you need to. Doctors and professionals always stress having TWO forms of birth control (ie. condoms and the pill, condoms and spermacide, etc).

 

This is a big part of being an adult. Good luck

[Hope75]

And if I start the pill, my parents will know I've had sex.

 

Hey Girl,

 

If you get pregnant- your parents will know that you've had sex too.

 

Seriously,

 

Having sex is a major responsibility- one that you and your guy must be prepared for both physically and psychologically. That means being adult enough to know that you have to take precautions (such as condoms, the pill, foam, sponges, a diaphragm, spermicide jellies, etc ) against STI's and pregnancy, and that even with precautions there is still the possibility that you could become pregnant.

 

I'm not going to tell you that you are 15 and freaking out already and so you are not ready to have sex yet. Am I thinking that? Yes, but that has to be for you to decide, and even if I told you that, you will do what you want to do regardless.

 

I suggest you contact a planned parenthood clinic if there is one in your area and make an appt to talk with a clinician about your options for birth control. I am pretty sure you can do this without parental consent- and you can pick up free condoms there as well. If they are breaking when you are using them- chances are you are doing it wrong.

 

There is a little sheet in the box that explains how to put them on, but basically your guy puts it on the end of his penis after pinching the end to leave a little room for semen, then he gently rolls the condom along his penis until it reaches the base. He must do this when he is hard or it isn't going to work. Make sure he is wearing a size that fits him, and you could also try using a water based lubricant to help avoid breakage from too much friction.

 

And do some reading up on STI's and teen pregancy if you get a chance- just do a google search. It's a dangerous time to be having sex, especially when you are 15 and still developing both physically and emotionally.

 

I can tell you from one girl who lost her virginity at 15 to another- I wish I had waited until I was more ready for everything that came with it- even though I loved my bf at the time and I am sure that you do as well, and I know at first I felt invincible and I think you are just now figuring out that we are not.

[friscodj]

Im only 15, i really can't hold that responsibility.

 

Hey FTF-

 

You should follow what the other posters have said and get a pregnancy test ASAP.

 

If this does indeed turn out to be a "scare", I personally would advise you to seriously rethink your decision to have sex at this point in your life. I just get the feeling from reading your post that you may not really know what you're getting yourself into and as you state, you are not ready. I mean, deciding to use condoms and asking such questions after you start having sex tells me a lot.

 

Remember there is no margin of error in this learning experience and the outcome can change your life forever. Not only will this affect your life but the life of your boyfriend, child, and family as well.

 

Do you really want to live your life in the presense of such "scares" and being scared like this? This situation sounds to be causing real stress for you. Please think about all these things and what would happen to your life and that of your child should your "scares" become reality. Take your time and figure things out to a point where you enjoy sharing love sexually with your boyfriend vs. being scared and face this stress. This is serious, please make good decisions.

[FallingTooFast]

Im sorry guys but i really don't need the "your 15 readjust your priorities" speech.

I've already given that to myself.

I may sound immature and stupid saying that, then so-be-it.

I know we made stupid mistakes, I know that.

Now all I'm trying to do is fix it.

I'm trying to get my life together.

Just stop with the speeches.

Please.

That's the last thing I need right now.

I've already done it so I do not need the "you're too young, rethink that" speech either.

 

The condom didn't break because it was old, we had just bought the pack the day before.

The condom didn't break because we used it wrong. (We're not stupid.)

I don't know why it broke.

But I can take the precautions to making sure that the mistake doesn't run my life.

Thanks for the replies though.

[glegend]

Have you considered going to one of those clinic's where they do the test and give you the result? They are a free service I'm sorry I dont know there exact name. Its tought to brake it to them that you are pregnant, since you are only 15 (I'm 17 so I know what its like at this age since Im only 2 years older then you). An old friend of mine went through this, I just found out recently. She got pregnant last year by this black guy (no offence I dont mean to be racist) now she has a kid. But her's was a bit different she was messing around with the wrong crowd so you would of expected it. But it was hard for her. It will even be hard for you (if you are pregant). When you do tell them keep in mind they will be pissed off, they will say the old "where did we go wrong" they may get pissed at your boyfriends possibly try to kill him (hurt him). You will have to face them no matter what (if you are pregnant) just go in with a gameplan, wear your big girl clothes and your boyfriend his big boy clothes. Slowly set them down and tell them that you had "sex" even though you know it is wrong to do so at your age, but now you are pregnant (and if you are keeping the baby) and what both your plans are. And just be careful that your boy sticks around, cause you'll need him and if he doesnt I'll feel sorry for you (even though I don't know you) cause I know what its like for a kid not knowing there daddy, I have a little cousin who has never met,seen or herd of her father and she is 4 years old. The guy got my aunt pregnant then told her the truth that he was on business and he has to go back to his country to his family. And ohhh make sure they dont kick you out of the house 'cause they might do so.

[sex e]

Hey, sweetie.

 

Let me tell you something. I registered just to send you this post. I had my first child when I was 15. Now my child will be 15 in January. Said all that to say, I wasn't really worried about protection back then. I'd get him to jump up when he was about to ejaculate and I'd try to "time" when I could get pregnant and couldn't. Well, this time, I couldn't help but find the test to be right. I wasn't sure (just like you) so I went to a clinic to get a second opinion. The girl I thought was my best friend and who I could trust with any secret told MY mom.

 

So I didn't get the opportunity to hide it but about two months, too late for an abortion. And I've been anemic (low blood count) ever since my pregnancy.

 

Anyway, I was a 10th grader (probably just like you). A lot of my "friends" left me alone. Girls who didn't know me around school called me names because of this one time that I got caught up. They were probably screwing just as much as me, but they didn't have a baby to prove it. My teachers thought I was dumb cause I was one of those "pregnant girls".

 

I couldn't go to the teen clubs on the weekends, couldn't stay long for prom, and would've had a really tough time trying to go to college out of town with a toddler.

 

The dude that I thought I loved so much (and would sometime in the future have his baby and get married to) never talked to me again. Today, my daughter asks about her dad. She's beautiful but has low self esteem missing a male figure in her life seeks attention from fellas at school.

 

Thought my parents would kick me out. My dad's a preacher. They didn't. But I lost their trust and it has taken me almost 15 years to wash away their disappointment in me.

 

But I said all that to say two things. 1)No protection has damaged me several times and changed my life by having a baby as a teen... I don't have HIV that I know of but I've had several STDs. 2)Once you start, it's hard to stop.

 

Whether the test is positive or negative, you've got a listening ear. After this scare is over, you should definitely talk to a trusted adult. It might not be your mother, but some places do require parental permission for you to get birth control. The main problem with BC is some teens (and adults) forget to take them on a regular basis. Some make you gain weight. Some cause your cycle to last even LONGER. Most don't protect from STDs and Pregnancy 100%. So now that I'm older. I'm like DAMN! Was it really worth it? That one idiot I thought was the king of the earth turned out to be scum of the earth and what I could've done as a teen was a lot different than what could've been.

 

So, you don't need somebody to tell you a buncha stuff you already know. But one thing you may not have thought about (and it's a little hard to handle), if that guy was such a great guy, why wouldn't he want to protect your life. Why would he want you to have a kid right now in the middle of high school? Why would he risk your body by giving you STDs (some of which you can never get rid of)?

 

I live with gonnorhea. Baby, think about that stuff before you deal with nonsense. Scholarships and your career have to come before that guy. If he really loves you, he'll protect you.

 

With Respect,

 

E

[InaneCathode]

Im sorry guys but i really don't need the "your 15 readjust your priorities" speech.

I've already given that to myself.

I may sound immature and stupid saying that, then so-be-it.

I know we made stupid mistakes, I know that.

Now all I'm trying to do is fix it.

I'm trying to get my life together.

Just stop with the speeches.

Please.

That's the last thing I need right now.

I've already done it so I do not need the "you're too young, rethink that" speech either.

 

The condom didn't break because it was old, we had just bought the pack the day before.

The condom didn't break because we used it wrong. (We're not stupid.)

I don't know why it broke.

But I can take the precautions to making sure that the mistake doesn't run my life.

Thanks for the replies though.

 

What? Lol, seriously. You're 15 years old. 15. Years. Old. I know you think you know everything there is to know, but being just 4 years older than you i can safely say at your age i thought i knew everything too.

 

You're "trying to get your life together" you've "made stupid mistakes" it's "the last thing you need right now". Purposely or not you're coming off like someone who's trying to sound like a 30 year old. No offense intended, but you've probably only been self aware for 3 years, theres no experience on earth that can age you 17 years in that amount of time.

 

That being said, it's a case of having your cake and eating it too. Have sex, and recognize, respect, and take responsibility for any consequences there of, or don't have sex. You want it, and you want to be free from responsibilities. The world doesnt work like that, and concieving certainly doesnt work like that. Proof in point is your greater fear of your parents finding out you're having sex instead of having a child. That's so rediculously backwards it screams you're not mature enough to be having sex.

 

Take the words mature and immature as their definition, or as some childish schoolyard insult.

It smacks so richly of immature reasoning the way you describe your problems with the condom. In short: "There's no possible way it could have broken, but it broke". How did it break? Magic? Obviously something is wrong. The stakes in a broken condom are significantly higher than anything you could imagine at your age.

"I don't know how the window got broken, i didn't do it, you didn't do it, the dog didn't do it. It just broke and i don't know why!"

 

PS- Before anyone leaps on me for flaming or what have you, it's my belief younger folks need stronger, clearer, and more direct language than the adult population.

[FallingTooFast]

Thank you for posting, and thanks for signing up.

 

I know we made a mistake.

My boyfriend won't bail, he's already promised everything for me, he tries.

And I think one of the most prominant questions in my head is whether I could keep it.

I'm going to tell my councelor just to be able to tell an adult in my area who isn't my parents and see what options there are in the area.

Thank you so much for your input

[FallingTooFast]

thanks for your opinion. But I'm not trying to sound like I'm 30, I'm not trying to sound like anything.

I just had questions. I needed answers.

But I didn't need to be chewed out.

[snowgirl]

You need to find a Planned Parenthood near you and talk to them about this. I went to them for a checkup and then went on the pill when I was 16, and they did not have to call my parents. You can tell them anything in confidence and make your own educated decisions.

[snowgirl]

Here's the website for Planned Parenthood. That can get you started.

link removed

[FallingTooFast]

Here's the website for Planned Parenthood. That can get you started.

link removed

 

Thank you

But how exactly do i get there. I can't drive

[southerngirl]

Yeah, thats a tough one. Does your boyfriend drive? What about any of your friends, do you have anyone to ask for a ride?

 

It could help to go there, but at the very least, you can probally read up on things at your local library, or on the internet. If your concerned your parents could find out what your searching about be sure you clear your internet history! =)

[FallingTooFast]

No he doesn't drive either.

He could have his liscence, but because he moved so much he hasn't gotten it yet.

Thanks for the tip

[snowgirl]

I think you should call them and tell them your predicament. They can help you.

[ashleyann18]

as they say, if you aren't ready to have a child - consider not having sex. nothing is ever 100% - using birth control, condoms, etc can still mean you can get pregnant.

 

to me, doesn't sound like the sex you are having is worth the paranoia and worry!

[Hope75]

How about taking the bus?

 

Or sharing the cab fare with your boyfriend?

 

Or getting a ride from an older friend with a car?