Im Only 15 (Help please!)

[scarew]

woops, I just wrote a big thing giving you directions to a clinic, but you don't live where I thought you did. Sorry US isn't my direction department.

[InaneCathode]

thanks for your opinion. But I'm not trying to sound like I'm 30, I'm not trying to sound like anything.

I just had questions. I needed answers.

But I didn't need to be chewed out.

 

Don't worry, it's 'ole inane harshin' on peoples buzzes and being a general square

[FallingTooFast]

as they say, if you aren't ready to have a child - consider not having sex. nothing is ever 100% - using birth control, condoms, etc can still mean you can get pregnant.

 

to me, doesn't sound like the sex you are having is worth the paranoia and worry!

 

The following isn't directed at you, just the way you're talking

 

I've already had sex okay! There is no way I can take it back! I don't need a "Well, you shouldn't have," I DID! okay. So help me fix it from here.

[FallingTooFast]

How about taking the bus?

 

Or sharing the cab fare with your boyfriend?

 

Or getting a ride from an older friend with a car?

 

I don't live in the city, we don't have buses or cabs unless you mean to find one out of the phonebook and pay them extra money to find us out here.

 

Thanks for the ideas though

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I think your ability to freak out over possible pregnancy is an indicator that you should N-O-T be having sex.

 

If you feel you must (and I'm baffled as to why..at .15....oh well!), please to the good God above invest in something more foolproof than condoms...and keep using the condoms as well. Pill + Condoms would be a very good idea here, until doctor supervision.

 

If you two love each other, why not wait until you are an adult to have sex??!? Human beings are so strange. And hypocritical 8-)

[FallingTooFast]

I think your ability to freak out over possible pregnancy is an indicator that you should N-O-T be having sex.

 

If you feel you must (and I'm baffled as to why..at .15....oh well!), please to the good God above invest in something more foolproof than condoms...and keep using the condoms as well. Pill + Condoms would be a very good idea here, until doctor supervision.

 

If you two love each other, why not wait until you are an adult to have sex??!? Human beings are so strange. And hypocritical 8-)

 

What if I'm not religious, what if I don't believe in "god", which I don't. Should I thank "him" for something as unreliable as condoms?

I mean what good are they if they break all the time.

Very hypocritical i think.

[agent1607307371]

When used properly, they don't.

 

And you're giving us grief about being able to handle sex when

a) you are freaking about pregnancy.

b) are making excuses not to go get it checked out.

[InaneCathode]

I've already had sex okay! There is no way I can take it back! I don't need a "Well, you shouldn't have," I DID! okay. So help me fix it from here.

 

Don't do it again until you're mature enough to handle the concequences?

 

They don't break when used right.

[FallingTooFast]

When used properly, they don't.

 

And you're giving us grief about being able to handle sex when

a) you are freaking about pregnancy.

b) are making excuses not to go get it checked out.

 

I'm not trying to give you grief about it.

I'm trying to stop you from giving me grief about it.

Of course I'm freaking out about pregnancy. Im 15!

I'm not trying to make up excuses about getting it checked out. I'm thinking ligically how I can't. I can't drive. My boyfriend can't drive. And I won't tell my mother until I know for certain whether I am or not.

[FallingTooFast]

Don't do it again until you're mature enough to handle the concequences?

 

They don't break when used right.

 

Thanks but that doesn't help me for now. If I am pregnant. That's for later?

[southerngirl]

Have you missed a period yet?

[FallingTooFast]

My period isn't due until the end of the month.

But with all the added stress of all this, and the stress of my boyfriends family coming down for thanksgiving and my parents divorcing it could be up to 2 weeks late.

[scarew]

Sweetie I have been in your exact situation before ok? I had sex with my boyfriend when we were both 16. We were dating for a year and were very much in love. But we were not educated enough to have sex yet. I was freaking out because the condom broke on our first time and I took the morning after pill and everything. I STILL couldn't relax until I finally got my period.

 

First of all, like I said before, you had sex so early in your cycle that you probably weren't ovulating. Secondly, I hope that you know your period is supposed to come every 4 weeks (28 days) and not once a month. Also, you are only 15 so your period could be wacked and you might be late anyways. There is absolutley no point in sitting here worrying about it! Especially since this appears to be a difficult time in your life.

 

Stop thinking about it. Stressing about it will make your period late anyways. There is nothing you can do at this point ok? It is not in your hands. When you DO get your period, I hope you will take the necessary precautions.

 

I hope you know that THIS is the time of your cycle when you are most fertile so if you are still having sex... well you better be making sure your condom isn't breaking.

 

Sweetie if by some crazy, rare chance you are pregnant, you can cross that bridge when you come to it. There will be plenty of time to stress then, but no point in worrying until you can take a test or get your period ok? Have thanksgiving, get through your parents divorce, stay in school. When this is over you will wonder why you spent so much energy stressing out.

[FallingTooFast]

But see I haven't taken the pill.

I will take it once (if) I get my period.

Thanks though. I think it eased my mind a little.

[InaneCathode]

Well if you're pregnant or not, hopefully you learned something.

[LoveYouToPieces]

I've been reading your post, and I know exactly how it feels to feel this way I also lost my virginity at 15, and believe me I freaked out about the same issue (thankfully I wasn't pregnant).. and now when I think about it, as much as I thought I was mature at that age and ready to be having sex... I wasn't. But you live and you learn, and obviously I can't take back my decisions... but I can tell you, just to be careful.. prepare yourself for the worst every single time you have sex, condoms are not 100% protection, and sometimes.. even the pill isn't. (.. of course when taken properly they are... but we're human's and we're forgetful, and we often forget) .. back to my point, just try to relax for the time being... you can't make your period any sooner, and like you said.. you have alot of stress in your life now... so maybe just to put yourself at ease... try a pregnancy test.. hope this helps.

 

Take care, best of luck... and sorry about your parents

 

I've also been through that all... but I was much younger then you.

[ashleyann18]

The following isn't directed at you, just the way you're talking

 

I've already had sex okay! There is no way I can take it back! I don't need a "Well, you shouldn't have," I DID! okay. So help me fix it from here.

 

 

 

I mean in the future, my dear... in the meantime, get yourself a pregnancy test and if you're pregnant get the morning after pill from a clinic. call a car service to pick you up.

[southerngirl]

I mean in the future, my dear... in the meantime, get yourself a pregnancy test and if you're pregnant get the morning after pill from a clinic. call a car service to pick you up.

 

 

The morning after pill is not an abortion pill.

 

If she is positive on a pregnancy test its too late for that.

 

The morning after pill must be taken within 72 hours of a high risk sexual encounter. It is intended to prevent the pregnancy from happening in the first place.

[FallingTooFast]

Yeah the morning after pill isn't going to help now.

 

THanks for all the input though

[Ians Mommy]

Okay, here we go. I've pretty much read the entire thread but there probably are parts I missed so if something I say contradicts anything, just tell me. Don't take any of this too seriously BUT do listen. I can honestly say that I can relate to your situation better than anyone else that has posted because I was in your shoes not that long ago.

 

I'm 16 years old and I have a beautiful one month old (well, he'll be a month in 3 days) baby boy. Just because I'm young doesn't mean I am not a good mother because I've had everyone telling me in the last 2 weeks that I'm an amazing mother.

 

As for your parent(s), I can honestly say that was the thing I was freaking out the most about. When it finally came to the time when I told my mom, she calmly told me she already knew but she was just waiting for me to tell her. I honestly believed my dad would literally kill me when he found out. I was wrong. My dad absolutely LOVES my son. Not long after he found out I was pregnant, he switched me and my brother's bedroom, painted the entire thing, went out and bought a crib, and told me that everything would turn out okay.

 

The only thing that makes me question whether you're ready for this entire situation was that you said (don't quote me on this!) that you started having sex about a month ago but just started using condoms. The only thing I'm wondering is when you had unprotected sex. Still, even with condoms you CAN get pregnant. I was on the pill when I got pregnant from only missing 1 pill.

 

The only thing I can tell you for sure right now is that you have to wait until atleast 5 days before your period is due to find out. If you go out and buy the EPT pregnancy test, you can take it up to 5 days before your missed period and it will give you pretty much 100% accurate results. Also, you have to remember that there is no such thing as a fake positive but you CAN get a fake negative so if there's only one test in the box, buy another (even though most tests come with more than one).

 

I really can't get onto enotalone too much because I broke my laptop a few weeks ago and I'm still not in great health (I had complications after having my son and was pretty much in a coma for a week) so I'm at my sister's for awhile so I can get online. PM me if you'd like.

 

Trust me, you may not think right now that things will work out, but in the end, THEY WILL if you work at it. It will be a blessing if you aren't, but also a blessing if you are. A baby is a beautiful thing. If you are, I can guarentee you that it's going to be the hardest thing you will ever do but if you work at this, take FULL responsibility for your actions, and be mature about this, YOU CAN DO IT!

[sex e]

I really thank Ians Mommy. I think she's being a good mom by helping another Future Mom out. I'm not stating that to scare FallingToo... anymore than she already is. I think this is so good to even hear young girls actually talking about problems like this.

 

But I thought about two issues that really haven't been touched on here.

 

1) Possibly unhealthy young women's health

2) Disconnect from father figure sought in a teen male

 

I had to find out this crap the hard way, and I always hoped that girls who heard my story and stories like Ians Mommy wouldn't turn a deaf ear.

 

I think it's a really mature, reflective young woman who can ask for help in the first place. But even as adults, we can't pitch a fit if we don't hear the type of advice we want to hear. AND as adults, we need to get in the practice of giving people advice in a way that really doesn't give advice but instead allows folks to think through their own problems.

 

True. Some folks haven't been as tactful in their advice. Some people are giving advice that they wouldn't follow or didn't follow themselves. But to ignore the possible emotional pitfalls and make sacrifices for a cat who may or may not care as much for me as I do for him is banannas (sp?)

 

When a person (male or female) is worried about going to the doctor, it's sometimes because he or she hasn't gone in a while and might be worried of the results. Said that to say, no ride to the clinic could also mean no ride to a gynecologist. So there could be infection, disease, cancer, or something living inside of a young woman who hasn't been for her "annual". (Sorry fellas, gotta keep it real). So while condoms protect against somethings, they don't protect against some other things (i.e. crabs --ewww. I know)

 

I wonder how much ol' boy is concerned about this possible pregnancy. I wonder if he has a ride other places and just doesn't have one to the clinic or doctor's office. I wonder if he'd have a ride to the abortion clinic or obstetrician or even to a restaurant or movies. I wonder where this 15/16 year old guy is when he's not at school with Falling or at her house. (Folks really skip all the "real" dating nowdays.)

 

Or is this fella older than 15? No license or driving (I sure hope not).

 

I wonder how much Falling really likes sex with this guy eventhough he's not shown his concern by trying to remedy the situation. (What has he done to deserve such perks?)

 

2) The disconnect with a male figure I see would be with the dad divorcing the mom, the daughter sees a guy who may or may not have been the best role model for this girl thus pushing her to a teen boy for affection. Lots of people have sex together who don't love each other. So I would hope that this physical attention is not being equated to love or care.

 

Somebody earlier mentioned that love is an action. I wonder what else this 15/16 year old has done to show that he cares for Fallingother than sex...

 

If Falling is a 15 year old, not old enough to work, not in any stuff afterschool, not many girlfriends (girls are catty -- I know)... then she may have a lot of extra time to be making love and babies rather than career, college, or personal plans for development.

 

It's a cool age to be and I think the only thing these folks are trying to say is some of us wish we (well I can really only speak for myself) hadn't continued to complicate relatively simple teen lives by having sex (especially unprotected).

 

Can't nobody tell Falling not to have sex for a while or even protected just like can't nobody tell any of us. She has to make those mistakes, unfortunately, on her own. We just hope that she would use that same sense that caused her to ask for help to think about dude's motives and her worth. Is that 5 - 10 minute (30 minutes with frequent breaks) really worth the emotional stress?

 

Respectfully,

 

 

 

E

[Maria1980]

 

And I babysit enough to get more than enough money than what I need.

 

 

I must say that this quote really got my attention..

You have enough money from your babysitting since you don't live alone, don't have bills to pay and a child to support...

Anyway.. I hope for your sake that you are not pregnant, but if you are, I hope things will turn out good, I don't believe in abortion. As long as you have a good family and friends to be there for you, you should be ok, good luck!

[avman]

A reminder that you are to be respectful to each other when you post. Posts which are not respectful, name call, etc will be removed.

[FallingTooFast]

But how is her post not disrespectful!

 

She doesn't know anything about my boyfriend!

 

She's obviously had problems with men or something but she doesn't have to take it out on me, my boyfriend, or my post!

[Maria1980]

But how is her post not disrespectful!

 

She doesn't know anything about my boyfriend!

 

She's obviously had problems with men or something but she doesn't have to take it out on me, my boyfriend, or my post!

 

 

I think she was only trying to state your opinion not harm you. Don't take it personally, maybe it was her way of trying to help you, ppl have diffrent ways of expressing themselves..