beebee Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 mornin des... hows my little angel?... no i dont mean you... lol... Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks beebee, I never did reply to your PM's. I apologize for that, they did help me and I really appreciate you sending them to me. In regards to the ani-depressants, I have been on one but maybe I will ask my doctor about upping the dose or combining it with another like you mentioned. I never did like the idea of using all these pills, but I feel I need something to dull the pain. Your also right about having to have another talk about the expectations of this relationship are going to be. I don’t think it’s as clear as I thought it to be. I guess I’m fearful of hurting her - knowing full well what the pain is.. even if it’s on a lesser level. It has to be done now, rather than later, Ill wait a day or two like Zomb Mentioned. Thanks XOXO John Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks Camber, Ill keep that in mind. The replies did help me. Thanks. John Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Hi John, It's all very normal, everything you are feeling and everything you are doing are all normal. You are not a monster you are a good man who has been hurt. Just continue to be honest with this other woman. She will understand. If she does not she has not been listening anyway. Please stop sleeping in your car John. It's just not healthy or safe. It won't resolve a thing. If the house is full of ememories, change the house, even if it is just long enough for you to recover. If you cannot bare to get rid of things, don't, you don't have to, but store them. Move the bed inot ther living room if you need to, buy a new comforter...whatever it takes. You're so hard on yourself, and you deserve to be so happy. I hope this day gets better for you and you find yourself feeling wonderful just knowing how cared about you really are. Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Morning Desert~how goes it? Beebee, good to hear from you as well. How's goes it Z? Camber~well hello! Camber while I am happy for you because you are such a great guy, I am a little concered about the timing of this new realtionship. Please be very careful, I think maybe you are very vunderable right now, and I also worry a bit for the feeling of this new woman as things are so fresh and unresolved with your marriage. I urge you to tread very carefully with this as I worry about someone getting hurt. Having said that, you seem like a super guy who deserves someone in their life who makes them very happy and I am glad you have found someone to share yourself and your feelings with and of whom you are obviously very fond of. Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 I have not tried that Camber. I'm willing to give it a shot. I think at this point, Ill try anything. John Link to comment
desertnomad Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I thought I was beebee /cry damn cat! .....8) Link to comment
desertnomad Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Moving out of the place I had with my ex certainly did help some. I dont know how I would have made it there had I stayed. What a nightmare. Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I could stay in our old place either, just couldn't do it.... I got my own apartment after staying with friends in what those same friends and I now refer to as my "rehab period" lol. But seriously I was very depressed. It was better for me to be around people. I never tired the underware thing, who knew. lol Link to comment
Biffy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 And John, have you tried getting yourself a stud-esque leather jacket? Good for the self confidence I've found. In all seriousness, getting yourself some new threads or whatever can give you a nice lift. Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 desertnomad, I agree, I dont know why I stayed, I guess at the time I didnt hav it in me to pack-up and leave, as it would cause me to fumble through a lot of our stuff.. Fact is, Im hardly there, I make it a point to avoid the place as much as possible. Anyway. Thanks for all the advise, I will be looking soon for another place. I have to. John Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Zomb, I think a hat like yours would also help. I like it John Link to comment
desertnomad Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Well I havent slept in my car yet but I did give away our king bed when I moved and still sleep on the two seat sofa. I dont know why but I guess its just hard to sleep in a bed alone now. My days are still difficult and this friday is six months. I still cant believe she did what she did. As I am sure I have said many times. Maybe if I find someone else that will all go away. Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Desert, I know the feeling of not being able to sleep in a bed. Boy do I know. 6 months is still not very long, I wouldnt expect you to feel great. Im still taken back myself at what she did, I think we will be for a while. Its not a pleasant thought. However, we have no choice. John Link to comment
Biffy Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Hey folks, Some advice please - My ex is slowly but surely bringing me my stuff back... after 3 months. I've been requesting that she leaves it in our bag store at work and I'll collect at my leisure. Is this childish of me? I just don't want her coming to my desk and hand the stuff over, I just think that would be humiliating for me. Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Z~ I think you should ask her to leave yourt belonging wherever you are comfortable retrieving them from. (within reason, I don't think you should choose the mouth of an active volcano or anything, knowing she will have to go first!)lol. This is where you and I have something in common. My ex used to also work here, before she went back to school. The first time we broke up we worked here together. it suck, it sucked so bad to break up with someone you work with. You get no relief! Ask her to put it where ever you want it and don't think twice about it. Thats my take. Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 John, Are those stars in your avitar the ones you saw the night we were all gazing together? Or are those the ones you are wishing on? (lol) It's nice, peaceful. 6months huh Desert? I passed that mark myself on the 6th. 6 months is not a long time to heal Desert, but I kind get what you mean about it being a marker of some sort. You are just going to have to try your best to let it mark the postive thoughts like "I am 6 months closer to being healed" Or I am 6 months into becoming the man I want to be for the next woman I get involved with. Hang in there...we're here for you. Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Heh, The stars in my avitar are the ones I use to watch and the ones I plan to see again very, very soon. (A wish here and there doesnt hurt either). desert, I agree with LONE, that 6 months is a great mile-stone, Im sure looking back at day one you see many improvments that you never thought you would see. It must be a good feeling. Like LONE said, I guess its how you look at it. John Link to comment
sandyv Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Hi all: Oh John, you are improving, even if it doesn't feel that way.... OMG I know I could not sleep with anyone at this point, I feel paralyzed from the waste down..... lol, but it is a step in the right direction I believe. And I also agree that you shouldn't sleep in your car anymore, please you could get hurt somehow.... But John its nice you've found a friend, and she should understand right now you must take things very slowly, I'd understand being what I've been through...... Zomb: Your ex should respect you and not dump your belongings at work, thats not appropriate...... maybe it makes her feel superior... sounds that way sort of??? Camber: Nice, sounds like your moving on somewhat, all I've been able to do is meet friends is at the local bar.... not good at all..... Sandy Link to comment
desertnomad Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks Ls. And well its true I have more acquaintances than I have had since college. But there are still alot of empty moments. Link to comment
Vynde Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 Zomb, I don’t think what you asked of her was out of line or inappropriate one bit. I feel it’s no longer about her and making her feel comfortable - its all about you and what you need to do. I like the idea of the active volcano for some reason.. but maybe it isn’t best. (that was my attempt to be funny... if you didn’t realize..haha) John Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thats because you are such an awesome dude Desert! I am not surprised at all that you are popular~enjoy it, enjoy people who see you for the good guy you are, and have fun. The empty moments will come, fight them, fill them! Sandy....you are healing as well, can you tell?? Because I can... What else do you do with your time beside hang out at the pub (well that didn't sound right, I just mean what do you do for fun and to occupy time because we don't know) Oh and I read on another thread you were spending christmas alone, you didn't mean "alone" right, because you ex was coming over right? You meant you just don't have a SO this years, correct? I hope none of you are planning Christmas or whatever holiday you may celebrate alone. It is no time to be brave..lol Go to a shelter and volenteer. I recommend it anyway, but do it for real if it is your only option at this point because family and friends are too far away. (and not a person on this site thread can say they have no friends, because we all have each other, we are just too far away...but if any of you would like to travel to Charlotte NC, we will break bread together on Christmas day!) Link to comment
desertnomad Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 Thanks LS.. Looks like the cat has already booked a flight to Charlotte NC Link to comment
LONESOUL Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 OhhhhGood!!~ Then I shall set the table for us, will Beebee be joining you and Cat? Link to comment
doyathink Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 You guys need to buy a dog...seriously! lol When me and my husband split, I dont know what I would have done without my dog. She was so much company for me. John, with everything you wrote about your new lady friend makes me admire men again. You helped me realize (again) men have feeling that go beyond skin deep. Some times I think you guys can only think with your 'tiny' head and your feelings are only at the surface. Man, it so nice to know that sex doesnt always help a man get past their last relationship. Your a sweetie! Link to comment
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