Caterina Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I've never fallen in love. Now, someone once told me that if a guy comes on really strong in the beginning, that its bound to cool off later. Meaning, he gives you flowers, poems, flattery...and then it dies down to treating you badly. I'm thinking this might be true. For me, love grows with time, so I might start off not as strongly, but it will later increase. So the reverse is true for people who are slower to trust and fall in love...their love will eventually be stronger, truer and more faithful. Do you think that this is true? Link to comment
Beec Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I would agree in most cases, but not all. There are exceptions. But I would also say that feelings are going to change no matter what. At times, there may be lass passion, but more intimacy, or something else. Link to comment
Massari Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 well I disagree with this comment strongly about men. When I came on too strong in my first relationship my gf dumped me 2 months after (something she regrets now but now I am with another girl who I love so much.) .things were moving fast but my love was as string if not stronger, I did all that you mentioned poems and flowers as I am a very romantic guy but it never gotten me anywhere. sad but true. its the woman's love who died for me and not mine. Link to comment
Caterina Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 well I disagree with this comment strongly about men. When I came on too strong in my first relationship my gf dumped me 2 months after (something she regrets now but now I am with another girl who I love so much.) .things were moving fast but my love was as string if not stronger, I did all that you mentioned poems and flowers as I am a very romantic guy but it never gotten me anywhere. sad but true. its the woman's love who died for me and not mine. But, if you start strong right away...why is that? I mean, how can you fall so quickly when you haven't been through much in life together and don't really know each other that well? Link to comment
Massari Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 But, if you start strong right away...why is that? I mean, how can you fall so quickly when you haven't been through much in life together and don't really know each other that well? well by starting trsong I really mean, trying to convince myself to slowdown at first and not show that I am interetsted and make sure she likes you and then I really openned up and thats when it hit me from the back. its funny how many woman do that, they don't appriciate you till your gone. Now I learned from my mistake from my first relationship. So here is what I did at first with my current gf. when I was dating her I wasn't too much into her since that girl mentioned dumped me before and I still had feelings for her and wasn't ready to open up to her. Once you start developing feelings for your GF they start messing up with your head like my gf is doing now. when I wasn't so much into her she was sooooo into me. and then when I could finally open up to her she knows she has me and I would never cheat on her or anything so now she takes things for granted, and again my love is strong and hers is not. its a cycle that maybe just happens to me.. I dunno why. Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 and some people start strong and always stay strong. I think it all depends on the person. I've been very wary of men who tell me they love me before the first date. It's like.... uh, you barely know me - how can you love me? I think if the things they are saying are not appropriate to the stage you two are in, those are red flags. but if by "coming on strong", he is asking you out in advance, is very happy to see you, send you e-mails and calls you every day, and you are in the beginning of your relationship, i would say that is a good sign. i certainly wouldn't date a guy who ignored me in the beginning, hoping it would grow into love! Link to comment
unluckyguy Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 I think the speed with which you fall in love can vary depending on the people involved and the situation. From my personal perspective, I have quickly gotten to like someone, but love takes its time. In situations where relationships have developed very quickly I have found that they have fallen apart just as quickly as well. Link to comment
New_Horizons Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 Not sure if this answers your question, but when I was younger I always wore my heart on my sleeve, so to speak. I never got a girlfriend. Now I think it's going to be really hard for me to love a girl, assuming I get one. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted October 22, 2006 Share Posted October 22, 2006 i think it is true, almost without exception. going from zero to 100 in ten seconds is a sure sign of infatuation, not of love. infatuation has a way of drying up just as quickly as it appears. Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 23, 2006 Share Posted October 23, 2006 I never start strong...I'm usually pretty guarded for the first little while... when I DO fall for someone, then I fall pretty hard and it takes forever for me to get over him. My problem is that since it takes me too long to 'feel something' for someone, they have already concluded that I'm not into them or I wasn't making the effort. Guys that come on too strong at the beginning are a turnoff for me. Nothing wrong with being really into it, but when they go over the top, it just doesn't seem real or like they mean it. As you say, how can they be so into it when they don't know you very well. Link to comment
caro33 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 I think it's really hard to predict these things. I am a slow burn person and have always doubted people who are too full-on too fast, for all the reasons stated above. My one and only experience with a too full-on too fast type person was with my now husband. He decided he was into me straight away and called me a lot. Actually put me off a bit. He wanted to see me a lot, and we broke out the 'I love yous' within a couple of weeks I think. Totally freaked me out, and I thought he MUST be infatuated, OF COURSE he was going to fall out of love. But he didn't, and believe me I did my neurotic best to convince him otherwise . We know each other backwards by now and he never had the smallest doubt about marrying me, even though I am sometimes a huge pain in the rear. His love has been completely genuine and unwavering. People like this do exist, who'd have thought! So I reckon have faith with yourself and who you're with and you'll either find your groove together or you won't. None of it's predictable, people are too different. Link to comment
kryptik0 Posted October 24, 2006 Share Posted October 24, 2006 But, if you start strong right away...why is that? I mean, how can you fall so quickly when you haven't been through much in life together and don't really know each other that well? This has happened to me. I had been craving love and a relationship for so long that when something came by, I could not help but fall in love very quickly. Its might not be a good thing, but it did happen to me. Of course the relationship did not last very long. Link to comment
sidehop Posted October 27, 2006 Share Posted October 27, 2006 I've never fallen in love. Now, someone once told me that if a guy comes on really strong in the beginning, that its bound to cool off later. Meaning, he gives you flowers, poems, flattery...and then it dies down to treating you badly. I'm thinking this might be true. For me, love grows with time, so I might start off not as strongly, but it will later increase. So the reverse is true for people who are slower to trust and fall in love...their love will eventually be stronger, truer and more faithful. Do you think that this is true? It depends. To me, we all want to impress and be with that person you feel strongly is compatible, fun to be with, etc. Yes, I do believe that love will grow stronger over time but it also takes a lot of energy & effort to make it work. But with that, I don't think it's necessarily that people that come on strong will cool off. The way I see it & from my experience is that those are the people that either is trying to, impress the potential mate 'too hard' in the beginning, doing so for the wrong reason, being obsessed about the relationship and ignoring the reality. And I think it comes down to not being 'themselves'. And it does happen with the right person like caro33 said. Link to comment
SpeedingCars Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 I start off EXTREMELY slow and then I latch myself onto them and BOOM! I'm totally in L-U-V! ... then from there, I don't know... it really depends. I've gotten over people pretty quickly but then for others, it took me MONTHS!!!! It depends on the type of person they are... Link to comment
supernetter Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 A man coming in too strong sometimes indicates that he is either trying his very level best to impress you or cannot spare much time to properly woo and charm you. The end result are almost primarily of a physical conquest. He the hunter, you the prey. Do not fall inot this trap. You bide your own time and set your own rules. Link to comment
Nicolas Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 I think love is a personal thing. Love doesn't grow stronger for everyone. It depends of your personality. The way you love someone is peronal. Although, I believe that it needs to be very strong at the beginning. The difference between real love and false love for me is if it lasts over time. Link to comment
FYI Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 I've never fallen in love. Now, someone once told me that if a guy comes on really strong in the beginning, that its bound to cool off later. Meaning, he gives you flowers, poems, flattery...and then it dies down to treating you badly. I'm thinking this might be true. For me, love grows with time, so I might start off not as strongly, but it will later increase. So the reverse is true for people who are slower to trust and fall in love...their love will eventually be stronger, truer and more faithful. Do you think that this is true? Often times the problem is that people are just not that patient; they don't want to wait that long to find out what's really underneath the surface. It's very much a lets have sex right now and ask questions later kind of society. This is one of the major reasons that relationships and marriages are steadily colapsing; our infrastructure is weak, there's no longer any foundation. I would enjoy very much right now to have sex with whoever I wanted, but I know that sometimes what you want is not always what you really need. That's the key used to unlock the box which holds are souls hostage. What we want is not always what we need. Link to comment
SometimesShy Posted November 16, 2012 Share Posted November 16, 2012 ...WIth both of my LTRs ( 5 and 7 years ) things started off instantly, like a house on fire, and continued this way for several years afterwards. Link to comment
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