Is this guy using me????

[quietgrl]

Is this guy using me???I'm starting to think so.I've met this older man on this involuntary celibate group.He knows i'm a virgin(he's nonvirgin) but I've notice 2 times within a year.He would ask me to have phone sex and every time i say no.He doesn't email/Pm me as much and He just talks to me on the board.This man also claims he's busy with his work and kids but i see him posting on the boards. I don't believe a word he say anymore.

P.S No I don't want him to be my boyfriend but i don't want to be used.

[southerngirl]

He doesnt sound like he is worth your time. I dont know if its using you or if he is just some sick puppy that gets off on cybering and phone sex. To each their own but it doesnt sound like thats what your looking for.

[annie24]

kids? but he is celibate??? something sounds off.

 

no man that respects you would ask for phone sex before he even took you out to dinner and a movie!

 

blah. forget him.

 

what do you mean by "involuntarily celibate?"

[Dako]

Just like in the 3D world, if you don't like him, ignore him.

 

InCel is a term for people who can't find someone to have sex with. The sometimes have kids or are married.

I've lurked on one of those groups just to learn some things. To me, those folks are understandably obsessed with sex.

[sparkle1]

I don't see how he could be using you - if you're not having phone or cyber sex with him.

 

However, what i don't get, is if you're not interested, why are you bothered?

[Honey Pumpkin]

Is this guy using me???I'm starting to think so.I've met this older man on this involuntary celibate group.He knows i'm a virgin(he's nonvirgin) but I've notice 2 times within a year.He would ask me to have phone sex and every time i say no.He doesn't email/Pm me as much and He just talks to me on the board.This man also claims he's busy with his work and kids but i see him posting on the boards. I don't believe a word he say anymore.

P.S No I don't want him to be my boyfriend but i don't want to be used.

 

Hi there,

 

It sounds like you're confused about him, because he's a friend who occasionally asks for phone/cyber sex, and when you're not up for that, he backs off?

 

Well, I don't think he's a great friend. I think that he should respect you don't want to mess around with him occasionally, and stick to steady, loyal friendship. Maybe in future stick to talking to him on the message boards, rather than any PM-ing. I think he sounds like he's hopeful that one day you'll say yes to a bit of remote sex chat - I would back off. There are a lot of good online supports out there, and you don't need to have someone who behaves so off/on with you as a close friend.

 

Good luck.

[quietgrl]

Just like in the 3D world, if you don't like him, ignore him.

 

InCel is a term for people who can't find someone to have sex with. The sometimes have kids or are married.

I've lurked on one of those groups just to learn some things. To me, those folks are understandably obsessed with sex.

 

 

Thank you.I agree with you 100% percent about that group.Dako i bet you probably saw that older man i was talking about on that thread.

[quietgrl]

I don't see how he could be using you - if you're not having phone or cyber sex with him.

 

However, what i don't get, is if you're not interested, why are you bothered?

 

 

This man keeps wanting to be my "Friend"(coughing)

[Allie.]

tell him to eff off. he's being a complete jerk to you...if i were you, and he said that to me, i would pretty much never talk to him again...i mean, he hasn't even met you...and he's asking for phone sex...right...major sign right there that he just needs someone up his end.

[quietgrl]

Thanks for the advice everybody.I'm going to stay away from this man.I don't trust him.

[Ruh_Roh]

Is this guy using me???I'm starting to think so.I've met this older man on this involuntary celibate group.He knows i'm a virgin(he's nonvirgin) but I've notice 2 times within a year.He would ask me to have phone sex and every time i say no.He doesn't email/Pm me as much and He just talks to me on the board.This man also claims he's busy with his work and kids but i see him posting on the boards. I don't believe a word he say anymore.

P.S No I don't want him to be my boyfriend but i don't want to be used.

Well, something doesn't add up right from the start.

The man claims to be busy with kids, but from what I've read of incels, they've never been able to form conventional relationships with women of the type that would make them fathers.

If you're asking the question as to whether someone you've met on-line has given you pause so as to doubt them, then by all means do. You're under zero obligation to accept what you read as the absolute truth, together with the other information at your disposal.

Trust your gut.

Hi quietgrl from Ruh Roh, hope to see you around!

[quietgrl]

Hi quietgrl from Ruh Roh, hope to see you around!

 

I don't have that much to say but I'll see you around.

[OceanEyes]

No I don't want him to be my boyfriend but i don't want to be used.

 

Then why do you care if he doesn't e-mail you/ contact you as frequently?

 

You obviously can't be friends with him. My male friends do not ask me for phone sex, and if they did, they wouldn't be my "friend" for long.

 

The guy sounds like a pig.

[need2bme]

no man that respects you would ask for phone sex before he even took you out to dinner and a movie!

Too true...

 

So, exactly how many movies do I have to go to...?

 

JK, He should respect your wishes period. While I am ok with phone sex, with someone you care about or at least monagomous with, it really is no different in the real world.

 

If you are uncomfortable; tell him.

[annie24]

Too true...

 

So, exactly how many movies do I have to go to...?

 

JK, He should respect your wishes period. While I am ok with phone sex, with someone you care about or at least monagomous with, it really is no different in the real world.

 

If you are uncomfortable; tell him.

 

LOL. 3.

 

no, just kidding, i guess it is different for everyone, but I would say AT LEAST one proper date would be in order! preferably more....

[quietgrl]

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!

I confronted this man and he didn't answer my question.This tells me he was trying to use me.I hope the other female on the involuntary celibate group knows about this man.

[annie24]

UPDATE!!!!!!!!!

I confronted this man and he didn't answer my question.This tells me he was trying to use me.I hope the other female on the involuntary celibate group knows about this man.

 

why are you even confronting him? he is a sleaze, you can't and don't reason with them. you just ignore them.

 

it's like those guys who come up to you with cheesy lines like, "If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?" You don't reason with these guys, you just roll your eyes and move on.....

[Chele]

Forget this guy he sounds like a user and a liar. You can do better.