Why do you hate your mother?

[Hanz33]

my dads the same. He refuses to admit he did anything wrong. But I still believe he did what he could at the time. He can't apologise because he has such a low self-asteam and can't admit his faults for fear of being ridiculed. I haven't forgotten what he did but I understand that his depression and his own upbringing caused him to do what he did. As far as he is concerned we had a perfect childhood because his was so much worse than ours. Hense the, he did the best he could even though he still hides the hurt he gave his children.

[Nedira]

You are not the only one in this life that feels so. It seems unbelievable, but i do hate my mother. I always think about her negatively and blame her for destroying my own life. In fact, she did not live her life and she wants me to do the same, to be the same like her. I'd rather die than grow up like her. I disgust her and I don't want her to be in my life. I tried to forgive her and get closer to her but in vain. She is so stubborn and controlling.I know that all that I am saying is wrong and should not be said or even thought about, but I really can't help this feeling.I disgust her

[brittles]

I told my mother for the first time in 33 years that I hate her and wished she would die. Neither one of those statements are true and I feel completely sick for saying that. With that said, I am however, very angry with my mother.

I'm angry that she had a kid when she wasn't emotionally ready.

I'm angry that she didn't try to have my dad be a part of my life after they divorced when I was 2.

I'm angry that she passed me off to neighbors and friends to watch me all the time, so she could concentrate on herself.

I'm angry that she took her own food addictions and weight fluctuations out on me. Restricting me from foods and at the same time rewarding me with treats when something good happened. (This has caused me to battle my own weight issues)

I'm angry for when I was 18, a stranger called me beautiful and she said "She's no Marilyn"

I'm angry that she called me a s**t when I was 16 insisting that I was sleeping around. I wasn't at the time, but soon after that incident, I lost my virginity.

I'm angry for her telling me constantly that I'm a loser, weird, crazy, fat, disgusting, stupid, and pathetic. This has gone on from the time I was in elementary school up till now, at 33

I'm angry at her for her not caring about my health or my well-being.

I'm angry at her for turning the one positive male role model (my uncle) against me. Haven't talked to him in 15 years because of her.

I'm angry for her dismissing her elderly mother because she is mentally ill. My grandmother is near the end of her life and has been shunned by most of the family, including my mother.

I'm angry for my mother passing herself off as a martyr for working her way up the corporate ladder, finishing college while being a single parent; when in reality, she either passed me off to others to care for me, or left me alone for hours a day.

I'm angry for my mother telling me that she would not like me or have me in her life if I wasn't her daughter.

 

I'm 33 years old, about to turn 34, and still hold extreme anger and resentment for my mother hence me telling her recently that I hated her and wished her death. Pretty safe to say the already toxic relationship I had with my mother is now broken. Hopefully, I can move past this and stop self-destructing as I don't want to have this anger in me anymore.

[Kiki2cute]

I cant stand my mom we can never have a good time together i can never talk to her about anything, she literally talks **** about me behind my back to my family members, she is un supportive of everything, shes lame af, i hate her so much i cant wait till i go off to college im going to try to go to a uniersity as Farrr as possible , i cant stand this. I hate my life soo much and its mostly because of her

[Weeb]

I hate her for having kids when she hates them. It was always obvious and despite being a stay at home mom, she provided the bare minimum of care. She's a selfish person.

 

That said, I hate my dad more. He's just a straight-up jerk.

 

I'm not afraid of either of them leaving (I don't speak to my dad, and keep mom at a distance), but with my mom I am afraid of telling her how awful she was/is and then the extended family hearing about it and just thinking I'm awful.

[grainsofrice]

Ha lol I heard a colleague talking to his mom on the phone so respectfully. As if she was the most important person in the world. I was like ***. Is this how you talk to your parents? Lets just leave it at this.

[Jim Wormold]

I am angry at my mother for invalidating me when I confided

my hurts to her and she just coldly stared back at me without saying

a word. When she told me instead that I was just "sensitive" after my breakup.

 

I am angry with her for insultingly calling me confused when I

confided how those same bullying christian fundamentalist family members

made disgusting jokes about my poor finances and when they told me

5 months after ignoring my email ..."aah, you just misunderstood us".

We were only joking and you are "childish" for mentioning it.

 

My dear f**king mother lied to the hilt to avoid taking responsibility

and still sends luvvie hugs smses to her "dear son" and acts like nothing happened.

Trying to pull emotional manipulation when things dont go her way.

Every answer I give to her questions is filtered according to how much

it fits her acceptance values. No reaction says everything.

 

Invalidation after invalidation. The anger rises inside me, I wonder

how long I could hold out.

 

How hard can it be to ask forgiveness from a family member?? And why should

I still care?

[hear_her_roar]

I could never hate her. There are so many things I love about my mother, but throughout my life I have resented her strongly and have only begun to learn how to deal with this as an adult...

 

Because she was - and continues to be - so bent on seeing the world through "rose-coloured glasses" that she inadvertantly let my biological father abuse me throughout my childhood.

She didn't question anything, because I "was obsessed with him" and because she "always wants to see the best in people".

She suspected things, but didn't bring them up or act upon them, because she wanted to be "surrounded by positivity".

 

I know that she truly didn't clue in to what was happening, and if she did she would have saved me in a second. And I feel horrible for being angry with her and resenting her for this, because she has beaten herself up about it since the moment she found out what was happening.

But if she had just stopped hiding her head in the sand for one moment and acknowledged the presence of things that weren't "positive", or maybe thought critically about anything, she might have been able to stop it.

And, her mentality never did change. And every time she harps on me for "not being optimistic and happy and trusting" I feel the old anger boil up again.

 

So, I guess that's it, in a nutshell.

[Seraphim]

I wonder why no one has made why you hate your father thread that I could identify with .

[Capricorn3]

I always find threads like this so distressing and so disturbing. I'd much rather see happier threads like "What do you love about your mother, or your parents".

[Seraphim]

I always find threads like this so distressing and so disturbing. I'd much rather see happier threads like "What do you love about your mother, or your parents".

 

I think I made one of those threads long ago but they never get much attention .

 

In all fairness though people who have been traumatized need to let it out.

[hear_her_roar]

I always find threads like this so distressing and so disturbing. I'd much rather see happier threads like "What do you love about your mother, or your parents".

 

I think part of the reason these threads exist is because they're a non-threatening, safe, and anonymous way to let out your emotions. 95% of the time I talk about my mother is to discuss how truly awesome she is and why I love her. Sometimes, though, to deal with the things I have to deal with, I get comfort in "venting", especially among others in a similar situation.

[Jim Wormold]

Sadly, family relationships hold multi-layered, interconnected

forms of dynamics that we are not always able to perceive.

 

Part of the problem in not perceiving is the desire to be

loved as we are, to be encouraged and to feel that everything

is alright. Not therefore wanting to see.

 

And even while hurt occurs, there is still an apparently

sincere form of love in sway. Takes years to get to any position

of objectivity.

 

Critical reflection is an important ability to have.

[Arrianarose]

I'm mad at my mother for getting cancer last year and letting me find out by looking at the google history

I'm mad at my mother because of her relationship with the rest of my family.

I'm mad at my mother because she never admits that she could be wrong.

I'm mad at my mother because she hasn't even noticed that I haven't looked her in the eye for over 3 months.

I'm mad at my mother because she doesn't accept that I am not perfect.

I'm mad at my mother for not considering what I want.

I'm mad at my mother because of what she's put my dad through.

I'm mad at my mother because she makes me afraid to come home and see her car in the driveway.

I'm mad at my mother because she spends so much money on things that we don't need.

I'm mad at my mother for always finding something wrong with what I do

 

Oh and the fact she's cheating on my dad

 

I don't hate my mother- I'm mad at her. There's a difference

 

I love my mother because she's given me an example of what not to do.

I love my mother because she has always encouraged me to be the absolute best, no matter what.

I love my mother because she has always supported me financially.

I love my mother because she got me the best education money can buy.

I love my mother because she truly believes that she is doing nothing wrong.

[Caligo]

I hate my mother because:

 

She verbally and physically abused me.

 

She pulled me out of school and did not educate me.

 

She isolated me at home without any human contact or hope of acquiring friends in the physical world.

 

She fought with her husband constantly, and "raised" me in a toxic environment.

 

She verbally abused her mother who I love, and grinded her down into the miserable husk of a human being she is today.

 

She told me she had cancer just to get a reaction of love from me - of which there was none. However, I was disappointed by the fact that she was not dying.

 

She lied.

 

She killed all the money.

 

She killed my dogs.

 

She is Satan.

[Jim Wormold]

Because she circumcised me.

 

She violated my inner private me.

 

Without my consent.

 

I am a victim of genital mutilation.

 

An organ that contained 20 000 nerves,

the most erogenous part of the male anatomy

was amputated. An inner organ, the glans, was left

unprotected to cold and rubbing to become a dried

out kerotinised insensitive lump. +/- 75% sensitive

sexual pleasure denied to me by my stupid mother

who wants to play victim when I don't play up to her

emotional abuse. Man becomes traumatised machine.

 

My scars the result of willful ignorance and utter stupidity.

And medical commerce.

 

55% of baby boys dont even get anesthetic according

to a recent American survey reported in Die Zeit newspaper.

 

My mother broke that special bond between child and mother.

 

She betrayed me, as did my father (who mutilated me for "hygienic

reasons", but kept himself intact).

 

Hah. Men start their journey into the world betrayed. They then have

to get by when the ignorant unthinking world hasnt even realised yet

what a crime this is.

 

When I see images of baby boys, my heart sinks.

[Tbt101]

It's not that I hate my mom for being who she is, I hate who she is to people, and the way she acts as if she's better than her own sisters. She makes me not wanna be on earth because I have to face an everyday fact of seeing her. She's a miserable person and her misery is pumped inside anyone she's around. And when she brings someone down it makes her feel better and she rises up. She's selfish growing up I had to put everything I wanted to do aside, so she could go to the mall and spend thousands of dollars on herself and leave me and my brother to be her guinea pigs, follow her around, with out a childhood because of her selfish ways. I'm older now but that doesn't mean I still have to put up with her mood swings, she claims I have a bad attitude, not once can I ever do good in her eyes! She's gotten worse over the years and it truly has made me sick, growing up she gave me everything and liked and loved me, know she only loves me! I never though I'd say this but I'm starting not to care for her

[Lifeiscrazy87]

Im angry at my mother for using the fact that she has helped me as a guilt trip so that she can through her problems on me later.

 

Im angry at her for being to lazy to get a job and always trying to take the easy way out by depending on the government, and then expecting mebto take care of her when it doesnt work out.

 

Im angry for all the times youve childishly tryed to come between every single girlfriend ive had.

 

That time when I moved in with you to get back on my feet, when you wouldnt let me use your phone because you knew I was goin to text my long distance girlfriend (the only thing I had to look forward to), I used to have to walk all the way to the library and use a damn computer to send a message to my girl's phone.

 

But now look how the tables have turned:

 

You had to move all the way out of state to a much less desirable place.

 

That same long distance girlfriend you tried to keep me from is living woth me and we both have jobs and are doing perfect.

 

Now your phone is turned off because you couldnt pay the bill. And I have the new Samsung Galaxy S3.

 

Now your asking for you and my step dad to move in with us and playing the guilt trip because I have to think about it.

[Not a rookie]

Cause she is an extremely selfish person.

No one and nothing is good enough for her.

I will make sure that my boyfriend and future husband will never meet her, or at least have very limited contact with her.

When men learn about her personality they are afraid that I will be like her.

She is like a curse. Very cruel, selfish and mean.

[Not a rookie]

So I blew up on my mother today.

Anytime I tell her I have a hard time coping with something she says **** like "Jane and Jill did better than you"

We are talking about women's salaries and she tells me about a woman who earned a very high salary in 1970s.

That woman has nothing to do with me and the situation is not comparable.

And then she asks a third person about the problems I am having to check if my problems are real.

She in turns asks an uncle "So you think women earn less then men nowadays?"

It's like she is mocking my problems.

I only want to hear "It will be fine".

She has empathy with everyone but me.

It's pathetic.