Why do you hate your mother?

[Audrinaa]

I am angry with my mother for having an affair with her sister's husband and abandoning us for him.

I am angry that this caused me to not trust people or want to get too close.

[BriarRose]

I know we shouldn't blame others for how we are, but she is the reason I have abandonment issues and am too clingy in relationships. She was a cold and non-nurturing parent. I am surprised I turned out as well as I did, actually, given the lack of love from her I got as a child.

[wlh22]

for not having rationale/logical conversations with her family (our dad and us siblings). Actually it's not that I don't love her, but her behavior makes my emotions towards her 'complicated'

[90_hour_sleep]

i didn't love my mom when i was younger. i thought she was an emotional train-wreck...with no self-respect. i thought she was weak...and deserving mainly of my pity.

 

yugh...i feel a bit disgusted writing that. but i know it's true. so disappointing to know that if i'd been able to understand things on her level...i probably would've had a much more well-rounded upbringing.

 

i love you now, mom. and that's what matters.

[nresteiner]

I don't hate my mother, but I hate it when she acts like I'm stupid just because I'm younger than she is. Always talking about her generation and how things were better back then, how I better get used to "the real world" when I graduate college, how she is always so damned condescending when she talk to me and acts like it's not possible that anyone other than her is right.

[driv3mys0ul]

I am angry at my mom for obviously favoring my older brother, and never being there for me with emotional support, and always talking about my issues to her friends.

[Lostgirl10]

I hate my mom for favoring my older brother, because he's the ONLY son. She also favor my younger sister who is "supposely" prettier than me, it was obvious..my mom let my sister take a day off school to go to hair salon w/my mom and my mom always say nice things and compliment her to her friends and our family.

 

She would tell her friends or another relative that I'm lazy and ugly. I remember when I was a little girl(8/9), I would ran somewhere in the house and cried. I had soo much built up in me. Then ONE day after school, she looked at me and said, you're actually not that bad looking. This is after a friend of hers compliment me..I shouted "F-You" to her. She went off on me, that she raised me and how dare I've said that to her. I couldn't help myself, it was something that's been building up.

 

Jealousy is not in my veins, but when your own mother put you down soo many times, and made it really obvious...it hurts...even 20 years later.

[katycloud]

I am angry at my mother because we don't see eye-to-eye. She is extremely conservative and narrow-minded, and rarely supported of my pursuits in life. Just for once I'd like her to be supportive, rather than a sour and negative woman who just makes me feel depressed and alone.

[SallyD]

I stopped loving my mother because she is so judgemental but doesn't realize it. She's very hypocritical and if she doesn't understand someone she will automatically say they're crazy and need medication. She never once listened to me or my brother instead just liked the sound of her own voice. She made mountains from mole hills and was constantly yelling and threatening my brother and I even at a young age. For years she hit my brother for no reason until we finally were stronger than her. If we ask her about it now she'll say she never laid a hand on us. She has a toxic personality. She talks about people behind their backs including me but will get overly defensive if anyone says anything about her. She has a holier than thou attitude and thinks it's everyone else who has bad karma. It's impossible to do anything nice for her without her turning it around and making it into something vicious. She doesn't see herself how she truly is. Always claiming to be a good mother. When I was little (5) I often wished my parents would get a divorce so I could just live with my dad. I thought about running away often to get my brother and I away from her. Even now I think I would be happier now if I didn't have to grow up with such a poisonous viper.

 

For better or worse she made me who I am and I can forgive her wickedness but I will never love her.

[Shylight]

I hate my mother because she is an alcoholic who takes who drunken rages at me and forces me to feel like I have to sit through them or else she'll stop helping me going to school and bills.

 

Hopefully soon I will be able to pay for everything on my own with my dads help, and then without her financial vices on me I can scream at her to get her in-denial butt overt to AA and walk out of the house and refuse to let her take her fits out on me, fight back and not her abuse me without fear of my car, both my insurances, and my cell phone being taken away.

[BrielleBaker]

I hate my mother because she is boring, traditional, stupid, afraid to take risks, holds me back, and taught me to be too afraid and cautious of the world and to never take a chance or follow my dreams

 

She does not listen when I talk, she interrupts me, she does not act interested, never praises me, and always questions and assumes the worst of me

 

I hate her so God-damn much- she is a horrible mother emotionally

 

She is so stupid and naive and so many times I asked her nicely to change and she NEVER does- she just keeps doing the same old things and making me feel like * * * * all the time and like I can't do anything

[ridingthewaves]

I am angry at my mother for being the root caue of my eating disorder. She focused, and still continues to focus, on weight and caused my other sister to be morbidly obese (her way of dealing with it) and me the opposite.

[andybent]

I'm angry with my mother, because she's a selfish person. She had an affair, that split up my parents marriage. She ended up marrying the guy she had an affair with. She used me to hurt my father. She wanted me to shut him out of my life, and ultimately put me in the middle of everything. She tried to make me believe that I was afraid of him, when in reality, I was afraid of her. I was really depressed living with her, and instead disappointing her and deciding to move in with my dad, I had planned to kill myself. But then she did something one day that made me realize that she didn't have my best interest at heart. So, me and my dad filed for him to take legal custody of me behind her back. At first she seemed to understand, and I took that as she was going back off and let me live with my dad. I was supposed to attend the same school and everything, but she purposefully had me kicked out, because I lived in a different county (although, they would have overlooked it). So, I didn't speak to her for over a year. Eventually we did speak, and we had it out, and we sort of made up. We even started having lunch sometimes. I went off to college, and after the first year, decided I wanted to switch schools. I told her and she flipped out, and disowned me. I haven't talked to her since, and I'm glad. I'm really hoping I'm done with her. I can't keep dealing with her.

[Seraphim]

I am getting to really dislike my mother-in-law.

[RoxyGril]

I am angry with my mom because she recently made a choice to cheat on my step-dad. My mom is a really selfish and prideful person. She doesn't understand why her family wants to be around her, when the answer is right in front of her face. She makes poor decisions on a daily basis that effect the people around. Though she is not wanting to make the change not only for her self but for her family. I can't stand being around her not only for want she did recently but also she treats me so differently from my other sibilings. It's like I am the odd ball out and I am not good enough or that she doesn't want to understand who I am.

 

I've chosen to separte myself from a person that can't act like a responsible adult. I have choosen to make sure I don't follow in her foot steps. I do hope one day that she will see what she has lost and will the make the decsion to get help.

[Sarabina]

Thank you for creating this thread. I was feeling very depressed today and I am so glad I can vent my frustrations in a safe environment.

 

I hate my mother because:

 

-she went back to work 2 months after giving birth to me, not because she needed the money but because she could not be bothered to look after me. I was raised first by my grandma and then by a babysitter until age 4 after which I pretty much “raised myself”

 

-she is emotionally, physically and verbally abusive and always has been

 

-she let other people, including my Dad, abuse me

 

-she is ignorant, very religious, fundamentalist, very conservative, sexist, racist, very traditional

 

-she constantly instilled the fear of God and Hell in me, to the point where I spent my entire childhood living

in fear of both my parents and God

 

-She did not allow me to have any friends or any outside interaction throughout my entire childhood. She kept me locked up in the house

 

-she has always hated me and she tells me so everyday

 

-she is a terrible parent to both me and my sister

 

-she married my Dad

 

-she blames me for everything and always takes her anger out on me

 

-she calls me ugly at least once a day and always has

 

-she has made me an insecure wreck

 

-she is controlling and manipulative

 

-she never wanted kids and is now taking her anger out on me for “ruining her life”

 

-she is not supportive and/or loving

 

-When I was in the hospital for being severely depressed at age 16 she did nothing to help me. In fact, she took me out of the hospital, beat me up, and told me to never speak of it again.

[journeynow]

Shoot. I'm a mother.

 

And I wish my mother wasn't so judgmental.

[stephanieblack]

She's an oppiate addict who depends on her fix. She chooses my alchoholic brother over me. she said i was gonna get pregant when i was 16 and waist all her cash on getting me an abortion. She said I'm cold and selfish, even though every one around us sees me cater and do whatever she asks. She doesnt have a job. Wants money from me. Then acts like I'm a little scrap of rubbish. Says I will never grow up, but yet wants to move in with me, have me pay her bills. She has no income, no social security, retirement, job, dissabilitiy, anything. I've had to go without because of it. and her having no money was always my fault some how....

That's why I'm mad at her. And the list goes on. I don't like her. But I love her as much as I can.

[BellaDonna]

My mother is histrionic and unloads her problems on to my grandparents who are in their mid-80's, getting them all worked up and nervous. I hate it when she does that. It's not good for their health. My grandparents (her parents) have been so good to her. This is the end of their lives and she should be taking care of them and making their lives enjoyable, not stressing them out. It's take, take, take with her. No respect. So selfish. It makes me sick. My grandparents don't deserve it. Thank God my aunt is normal and makes them happy. I do my best to make them happy too. We have to play the role of damage-control after my mother talks to them.

[brightcat12]

i resent my mother because I am the youngest im only 15 but i feel like shes made me grow up too fast. because of her i feel confined and caged in a life I dont want, i sometimes do think of self harm and that is normally because of what she has said or an action that she did. When I was 9 years old she and my sister Jay forced me to care for 7month baby belonging to Jay--I feel as though my childhood and adolesecence has been taken away from me, she puts me last out of all the siblings and we never have good coversation, she'll ignore me util she wants something. shes also a hypocrite and a selfish person: she still sticks up for Jay even shough she has disgraced the family a few times yet when i ansewr back or answer a question honestly i have suddenly committed a heinious crime! Im sick and tired of being the last thing my mother thinks about shes makes descision for me that i do not know about until last minute and that is why I hate her. My father loves me i know that but he's always working and is my mother * * * * ing pet! My mother is the most SELFISH, SELF CENTRED, HYPERCRITICAL, LAZY, COWARDLY B****!

 

Everyone says she gave me life and buys me things and i shouldn't hate her but love her--> tell me one thing would you still love her after listening to her constantly put you down? Make you grow up so fast you feel isolated from your friends? And if she put you last all the time?

[Miming]

I'm angry at my mother because she has been trying to control my life choices for as long as I can remember. Even up to the point that she knows I can see through her when she is trying to manipulate me using guilt. I am also angry at her for not standing up to my verbally abusive dad even if she knows he's wrong. I have had troubles finding confidence in myself because of the way my dad has verbally abused me, shouted right at my face, calling me stupid and dumb with that hideous, angry face just because I couldn't understand how to do long division in math or excel at the subjects I was not very good at when I was about 8 yrs. old. I hated my mom for not standing up to him.

I also hate her for being so unbelievable good at putting on a good show in front everyone when things like that happened. My relatives think i'm some kind of a weird, crazy, stupid person but little do they know that my parents have not been what they think they were making themselves out to be. Not once did I ever hear her say that it was her fault. Everytime she and my dad had a fight, she always, ALWAYS puts the blame on someone and most likely me because she knows that nobody would believe me.

I also hate her for not standing up for me when my other relatives criticized, put me down and called me stupid. I know they all felt good talking down to me but a real mother would've protected me from them. I hate her for becoming so much like my dad; having TOO MUCH pride. I hate how they both want me to give back to them after the way they've treated me for so many years.

I hate her for weighing me down, not letting me making decisions for myself, not letting me grow, not giving me guidance, hated the fact that I was happy with friends, not standing up to my dad and my other egostistical relatives.

 

If I had a daughter or a son, I sure hell would not even let them meet my mother.

[becomingkate]

I am 47 and my Mum is 83. I am no longer angry at my mother because she did the best she could with what she had.

I am doing the best I can with my two girls, and I hope they believe me when I say that.

[SarahRose]

Well where do I even begin to start with this evil woman.

 

Narcissist

That would some it up in one word.

[Hanz33]

I use to have allot of anger towards my parents until I realised one day that... gee they are only human as well and allot of the times people have kids young and have to wing it on how to raise you properly and unfortunately humans make mistakes that can't be undone and yes you have to suffer for it but the poor buggers usually do the best with what they have (knowledge wise). I wish I forgave my parents allot earlier than what I did.

 

They probably had a a rough childhood as well. I'm thankful I can break the cycle.

[scared and alone]

Because sometimes mothers don't act like mothers. As in acting like they care, SHOWING they care. Putting you first. And no, I don't believe my mom did the best she could. She COULD have, but she didn't. And I want to forgive her, but she can't or WON'T just ADMIT her faults and apologize. In a heartbeat, i'd forgive her, but, she instead just wants to hide behind stuff and pretend there was never any hurt she did. I've had many dreams of confronting her about it, and it was never pretty... Which, now that I think about it, i'll have another dream about it tonight...