"Friend Zone" is BS

[gavindark]

This is just something I had been thinking about for awhile. A lot of guys out there are worried that if they don't make a move on a girl soon, they'll be stuck in the friend zone forever. However, it is strongly my opinion, that if a girl is interested in you at all, she will not "friend" you in a way that will end your chances wtih her. The only guys who actually end up in this forbidden zone, are the guys that the girl was never that interested in to begin with.

 

Any thoughts on this??

[enivel]

This is just something I had been thinking about for awhile. A lot of guys out there are worried that if they don't make a move on a girl soon, they'll be stuck in the friend zone forever. However, it is strongly my opinion, that if a girl is interested in you at all, she will not "friend" you in a way that will end your chances wtih her. The only guys who actually end up in this forbidden zone, are the guys that the girl was never that interested in to begin with.

 

Any thoughts on this??

 

Interesting thought...

 

A lot of it I think is the guy's confidence. If he is confident during a first/second encounter and "acts" desired in that way, he much more likely to get her. If he goes in with the mentality "I'll be her friend and see if it will progress" most girls see it as weakness and quickly decide not to pursue anything beyond friendship.

[shes2smart]

However, it is strongly my opinion, that if a girl is interested in you at all, she will not "friend" you in a way that will end your chances wtih her. The only guys who actually end up in this forbidden zone, are the guys that the girl was never that interested in to begin with.

 

Having once been a girl, I would say that was true for me. However, I am sure there are others who have experienced it differently and/or see it differently.

 

If I was still single, that would probably still be the case for me. If I was interested in a guy as more than a friend, that door would continue to be open as long as I was single/available. If he opted NOT to step through that door and remain "just a friend", that's his choice.

[finewhine]

I agree with you, gavindark. Either you like someone "that way" or you don't. The rest is a grey area.

[Day_Walker]

You are making that presumption that woman decide immediately if they want to be in a relationship with that person or if they want to date him. I dont think that is the case. I think that the more common situation is as you have described but, i hear and have seen stories where guys have won a girl over a period of time.

I believe that the true definition of friendzoned is when a girl has no romantic interest in you, it doesnt have to be because you waited to long but it could be many other reasons. Those reasons could range from someting significant to somethig trivial. I believe there is a misconception when people say that you have waited to look because interests dont usually fade unless something drastic happens.

[sumguy]

I believe the true answer can be found by combining both gavindark and shes2smart's theories together, though if I might add a twist of my own:

 

The 'friend zone' is flexible, also in the way that a guy who makes a positive step or change in his life can be moved out of it.

 

That's just based on personal experience though... maybe we could be like Asimov and write defining laws on this..? =P

[Gracelove]

I see nothing wrong with being friends with someone, it's not B.S.

It's true, if you want to "be" with a girl/woman, then you should make your intentions known from the beginning.

Women don't have to make men their friends simply because they don't want to date them, they can simply walk away.

If someone wants you in their life as a friend, I think it's a wonderful thing, definitely NOT B.S.

[RayKay]

I always knew pretty early on if I was interested in someone as more than a friend or not...they say actually that women know in the first 30 seconds of a date if they want a second!

 

I would say that if I was interested, I tended to be interested for quite a while.....though if after a long enough period of time passed with a show of reciprocal interest, I may have opted to move on and not pursue it anymore. I would not say that is friendzoned..more give up on someone not as into me as I am them zoned!

 

And if I am not attracted to someone, they are basically friendzoned right away. Don't get me wrong, I HAVE dated and become involved with someone whom WAS a friend, but honestly I was interested right from the start, it just took a while for us to both "match" together at the right time!

[Blayzed4Life]

I think it all depends on the guy really, personally I'm the type of guy who tries to become friends with a girl. Right now I'm more focused on my goals in life and not really looking for a relationship, which in some ways is good and some ways bad. Bad cause I could be passing up oppertunities to be with a great girl, but good because girls dont like a needy guy. So you could kind of say I play hard to get hahaha. My main reason is because I dont know if I'll be still living around this area when I go to University so I dont want to get involved in a relationship if I'm not even sure it would last. Thus if I were to get into a relationship with a girl we'd have to be good friends first and we'd have to be on the same page about everything. I'm not a player so I dont do one night stands either, sometimes I wish I was lol cause I'm not very experienced But I'm still happy with who I am and that I have a deep respect for woman. I know one day i'll find someone special and she'll be my life.

 

If you dont want to get stuck in the friends zone then you better show some interest in her, but if she only wants to be friends respect that and move on. Stay her friend though and always be there for her and who knows you might be able to win her over. I know I've won alot of girls over in terms of friendship statues, every girl I've known has trusted me 100% and that means alot to me

[vandgsmom]

I think that the FriendZone is the pool from which alot of women dip for eligible dating material when there are no outside dating sources from which to drink.

 

Being in the FriendZone still makes you eligible, just not necessarily first string. It also helps to step up your game and flirt a little. We aren't mind readers any more than you are, and if you want more, you kind of have to let us know somehow. Ya Know?

[Blayzed4Life]

Yah guys dont be hurt by being catagorized in the friendzone. Honestly that isnt a bad thing, it's alot better then her not even talking to you right? As long as you're her friend you have a chance to win her over, becoming more charming girls love charm and a sense of humor. Feel confident with your dicisions and try not to ever be a downer, girls dont like a guy who's always complaining about how much their life sucks. Become the man a girl could really count on.

[flower99]

This is just something I had been thinking about for awhile. A lot of guys out there are worried that if they don't make a move on a girl soon, they'll be stuck in the friend zone forever. However, it is strongly my opinion, that if a girl is interested in you at all, she will not "friend" you in a way that will end your chances wtih her. The only guys who actually end up in this forbidden zone, are the guys that the girl was never that interested in to begin with.

 

Any thoughts on this??

 

I totally agree with this.

My finacee is a testiment to this one. I put him in the friendzone for almost a year. I wasn't single when we became friends & I wasn't physically attracted to him at first. But as time went on & our friendship grew I saw more in him. More traits I loved. And my physical attraction grew immensely. And now we have been dating for a year and a half & getting married.

 

So i disagree with guys who say if you don't make a move soon you'll be stuck in the friendzone. The friendzone you still have a chance to win them over.

[dogheadma]

Most women know within the first 30 seconds of meeting a guy whether or not he is potential relationship or sexual partner material. The guys in the "friend zone" are the ones who stick around and don't get the picture after she's decided she's not interested.

[DN]

The one rule I have learnt in relationships is that there are no rules that are operative often enough to be reliable as a guide.

[1899]

The idea behind avoiding the friend zone is to keep your feelings from being trampled on, or used. If a girl dosent like you "like that" and you allow yourself to become her friend, doing favors, escorting in groups to places, buying gifts, flirting etc. when deep down inside you want more, well, you most likely are allowing yourself to be led on when doing these friendly activities. And if/when you see this woman(or whoever is doing the friendzoning) with someone else, you will have bad feelings. Not good. Thats why many here advise moving on to someone who reciprocates your feelings.

 

I beleve in being clear about what you want up front. You have needs. They either want you or they dont. Its not allowing yourself to be drug around by your balls.

 

Problem is, i believe most women are very rarely turned on by looks, but by personality so......

On the other hand, by looking at the women that have posted here, there may be some potential in being a womans friend in that she may look at you differently one day, but you have to be strong to put up with the emotional ups and dows of seeing her with someone else or being constantly rejected.

[Aurian]

Problem is.... sometimes a friend can be something more, but sometimes a friend can be permanently "friend-zoned." I had a friend back in high school that I grew up with. He seemed to want more than friendship when we reached our teens, but I just couldn't see him that way. I still saw him as a friend, but I guess it was uncomfortable for him because he eventually dropped out of sight.

 

There are a few aquantances that I like as friends, but I can't really see myself going out with. Either a lack of THAT kind of chemisty or some aspects I can tolerate in a friend, but not in a life partner.

 

So waiting can backfire. If you wait and you are hoping for something more, you might be out of luck.

[Rainz]

For me, in all the relationships bar one last year, I've had were with guys who expressed their romantic interest from the start, and made a move and relationships grew from there.

 

Guys that I have as friends some of them when I first met them expressed a romantic interest in me and I didn't feel the same way and never have.

 

Mostly for me if I'm interested it will be there from the off.

 

Last year I had my first experience of becoming involved with a guy who I'd known for years as a very casual aquaintance. It was my break up experience of him that lead me to Enotalone actually.