gavindark

Last night I hung out with a girl I've known for a few years. We were never the greatest of friends, but I've known her for awhile now. We got to drinking while watching tv, one thing led to another, and we did some heavy making out, which eventually made it to her bedroom. We didn't have sex or anything, and the pants stayed on. In the morning, I stuck around for awhile, chatted, joked around, but we never mentioned a word about what happened the night before. I gave her a hug before I left and told her to give me a call when she was free. Should we talk about what happened, or just it be?? I can't say I'm totally interested in a relationship with her, especially with her moving out of the state in a few months for a job. However I also don't want things to get awkward between us. I don't feel like I took advantage of her or anything since it was pretty much her initiating everything. It would be nice to get a girl's perspective on this, and whether there's any merit in discussing what happened with her, or whether that would just make things more awkward. Thanks!!

Long story short, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me around 7 months ago now. I was devestated beyond belief, but I have made tremendous progress in the last 7 months. That's not to say I don't still think about her on a constant basis, but it doesn't hurt as much, and I'm actually excited about being single (and a little scared). I'm only 24, but sometimes I feel it's so hard to find someone who I would be able to love. I haven't talked to my ex since September, mainly because she made absolutely no effort to be my friend after the breakup. She was short with me, and made no attempt to see me one last time when I was moving accross the country to attend grad school. With these events, I knew this was not healthy for me, so I told myself and her that I would not contact her until I was ready to start talking again, and I have stuck to it. She contacted me a few times since then, to which I did not reply. My birthday came and went, and she didn't say anything (but I can't really blame her since I was ignoring all her other previous communications). So now the question is this: Her birthday is coming up and I want to wish her happy birthday. I don't quite feel that I'm ready to be friends yet, but a part of me does want her to know that I'm not attempting to kick her out of my life forever. Should I wish her? Should I hold off? Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

so i went ahead and blocked her on facebook, and almost immediately i got an IM from her asking if i had seriously blocked her. she made me feel so bad that i added her as a friend again. i ddint want to seem bitter, but i think i did, and now i feel so bad about everything. i just want her to stop conactinng me and let me be for a bit. ive made this clear to her that i need some time to get over things before i can be "just" a friend. she knows this, yet she makes me feel bad for not wanting to be friends, for blocking her. i am not over her, i am 100% aware of that. however im almost to the point where i dont want her back. it's almost an ego thing now, where im just insulted that although i have no diea if she's with someone else now, that she probably prefers someone else's exclusive company to mine. i realize taht the relationship recently became long distance before she decided to end things, but it hurts me to think it wasnt worth it to her to give it a try. yea i'm still young, (almost 24), but 3 years was a long time to be with someone and then have them walk away so easily. and not only that, but she wants to be friends, like its nothing to her. she expects me to just forget everything and be a friend. i wish i had never met her, and i wish i had never started dating her.

My ex broke up with me around 5 months ago. I was devestated, but am now doing much better. The past 2 months, I have been completely ignoring her. She imed me a few weeks ago, to which I responded with only 1 word answers. I've been thinking of blocking her access to all my online profiles (AIM, facebook, etc.) However when thinking about it, it seems that this only gives the impression that I'm still constantly thinking about her. And maybe by not blocking her at all, it shows that I really just don't give a damn. What are everyone's thoughts on this issue?

This is just something I had been thinking about for awhile. A lot of guys out there are worried that if they don't make a move on a girl soon, they'll be stuck in the friend zone forever. However, it is strongly my opinion, that if a girl is interested in you at all, she will not "friend" you in a way that will end your chances wtih her. The only guys who actually end up in this forbidden zone, are the guys that the girl was never that interested in to begin with. Any thoughts on this??

Yea, I'm just starting grad school this fall, and I moved out here around 2 weeks ago. I just feel really lonely here and it seems a lot harder to make friends in grad school than it was in undergrad. Before I had my ex who I used to call all the time and in a way, she was my support structure. Now she's gone and I really miss her. I don't want to end up as one of those older males, who at a certain age are ready to marry anyone. I want to find someone on my own who I truly care rather than someone who I'm going to settle for. That's why in a way I wish I had gone to grad school closer to my friends back west. Now I have to start all over and it seems like such a daunting task to me.

Originally I posted this in the Finding Love/Soulmate forum, but I thought it may be more relveant to this one. My gf of 3 years broke up with me about 4 months ago now, and it really shook me up a lot. I had never gone through anything like it and I went into a deep state of depression, and even know I'm a lot better now, I still feel like I'm far from being back to normal. I used to love being around other people, but now its harder for me and I seem to prefer isolation to others' company. To make matters worse for me, I recently started grad school on the other side of the country from where I've been the last 5 years. All the close friends I have are far away from me now, and I find myself regretting the choice I made to come here. I had an option to stay in California for grad school, but at the time, I was still with my ex (who is in school outside the US right now), and I was excited about starting life in a completely new environment. But once I went through the breakup, I feel very different now. I don't want to be here, I want to be back with my friends. I don't have any close friends here and it seems like a daunting and somewhat impossible task for me to make friends again. Had this breakup never happened, I would have been fine, but I'm not myself anymore. I'm a depressed guy who just wants to sit at home, and I know I should get out more, but I just don't feel like it. Doing well in grad school is going to dictate how the rest of my life pans out, and if my mind isn't in it anymore, I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I don't want my ex's actions to affect the rest of my life, but I can't help it. I greatly prefer companionship to dating and meeting new girls, and I had that. Now I don't and I want it again. I think of myself as a fairly good catch. I'm smart, I'm funny, and I'm attractive (or so I like to think). I went out on a date for the first time in my life (usually I end up falling with someone who I've been friends with first), and I quickly realized I'm not the dating type. I get awkward and nervous around anyone I like. That's why when I end up falling for a friend, it's easier for me. I already know them, so I don't get nearly as awkward. Well I really liked this girl I went out with, but I'm sure she's not into me anymore. I didn't come off as someone who was confident, and I'm sure she quickly realized she wasn't into me. I don't have any real friends here either, so I don't know how to go about meeting my next love interest. I have 5 years of a brutal phd program ahead of me, and I'm not looking forward to spending those years alone. I need to get out of this rut and move on. I need to meet new girls. I need to make new friends. I feel like my personality has changed for good, and I don't even know who I am myself anymore... How do I get back to normal? How do I make myself more confident? How do I go about meeting girls? How do I get out of this depression?

My gf of 3 years broke up with me about 4 months ago now, and it really shook me up a lot. I had never gone through anything like it and I went into a deep state of depression, and even know I'm a lot better now, I still feel like I'm far from being back to normal. I used to love being around other people, but now its harder for me and I seem to prefer isolation to others' company. To make matters worse for me, I recently started grad school on the other side of the country from where I've been the last 5 years. All the close friends I have are far away from me now, and I find myself regretting the choice I made to come here. I had an option to stay in California for grad school, but at the time, I was still with my ex (who is in school outside the US right now), and I was excited about starting life in a completely new environment. But once I went through the breakup, I feel very different now. I don't want to be here, I want to be back with my friends. I don't have any close friends here and it seems like a daunting and somewhat impossible task for me to make friends again. Had this breakup never happened, I would have been fine, but I'm not myself anymore. I'm a depressed guy who just wants to sit at home, and I know I should get out more, but I just don't feel like it. Doing well in grad school is going to dictate how the rest of my life pans out, and if my mind isn't in it anymore, I don't know how I'm going to get through it. I don't want my ex's actions to affect the rest of my life, but I can't help it. I greatly prefer companionship to dating and meeting new girls, and I had that. Now I don't and I want it again. I think of myself as a fairly good catch. I'm smart, I'm funny, and I'm attractive (or so I like to think). I went out on a date for the first time in my life (usually I end up falling with someone who I've been friends with first), and I quickly realized I'm not the dating type. I get awkward and nervous around anyone I like. That's why when I end up falling for a friend, it's easier for me. I already know them, so I don't get nearly as awkward. Well I really liked this girl I went out with, but I'm sure she's not into me anymore. I didn't come off as someone who was confident, and I'm sure she quickly realized she wasn't into me. I don't have any real friends here either, so I don't know how to go about meeting my next love interest. I have 5 years of a brutal phd program ahead of me, and I'm not looking forward to spending those years alone. I need to get out of this rut and move on. I need to meet new girls. I need to make new friends. I feel like my personality has changed for good, and I don't even know who I am myself anymore... How do I get back to normal? How do I make myself more confident? How do I go about meeting girls? How do I get out of this depression?

if she never calls me back, should I just take it as a sign that she's not interested and learn from the experience, or is it worth it to give it another shot and maybe call her again later in the week?

My story can be found here... well today I was talking to some of my friends who know her better than I do and they told me that she's into me, but that she's a really shy girl, and probably wouldnt be calling me. and that she'd be waiting for me to call her if anything. so they convinced me to call her and just see what was going on with her. so i did and i got her voice mail. i left a message earlier today, and still have not heard back from her. i don't want to get paranoid about it, but it now seems that she's ignoring me. I'm afraid that me asking to kiss her has maybe scared her off in a way. i'm a pretty shy guy when it comes to this, so it took a lot of nerve to even ask her. i'm not sure what to think anymore. but im wondering if its possible to scare off a girl who liked you by asking whether itd be ok to kiss them. any input??

I met this girl the other day and I THINK she likes me. I've seen her at a few parties, and somehow we always end up gravitating towards each other and talking for over an hour each time. A few of the occasions have been when we both had a few drinks in us. I finally asked for her number one night and she gave it to me. I called her two days later and talked for a bit, and it turned out we were both going to the same party that same night, so I didn't make any other plans with her. That night, it seemed that she was totally into me. We had our arms around each other the whole night and she took my hand and even led me to the dance floor. While dancing she continued to take my hands and put them around her and then told me she wanted to sit down for awhile. So while on the couch I had my arm around her and she took my other arm and put it around her from the front so I was in essense hugging her. All my friends were telling me I should have kissed her that night, but I didn't. I'm not sure whether to regret that decision or not. Well after that night I totally felt she was into me, but wasn't sure since we were both a big drunk. The next day (yesterday) I called her to go get a cup of coffee with me and we met up and talked for about 2 hours. I thought things went pretty well. However she mentioned that she didn't remember much of the previous night (us dancing) so I didn't know whether to take that as her not being interested, her telling the truth, or her just being embarrassed. So I ended up calling her and asked her out to dinner, which we went to last night. And again, I'd like to think the conversation went well, but it's tough to say with me overanalyzing everything all the time. Well after dinner we went to a bar and had a drink and talked there again for awhile. Again I thought things went well, but I really just don't know. So then I dropped her off at her place. We hugged at her door, she said that maybe we'll see each other this weekend. Then I thought to myself, well if she wants to kiss me, then it's not going to matter how it comes up. So I worked up the nerve and actually asked her if it'd be ok for me to kiss her. She smiled and said something along the lines of "ok, how bout one on the cheek?". So we both quickly kissed each other on the cheek and the date ended. I feel like that was a rejection, and that maybe she's not that into me, but I'm not exactly sure. It'd be great to get some outsider input on what you think. Either way, I think it'd be a good idea to not call her for awhile, and actually give her a chance to call me for a change. I have been the one initiating all the contact between us, and was never sure when the time is right to layback and let her do some of it. I don't want her to think I'm not into her (which I'm not sure how she would...I don't feel like I'm being ambiguous in any sense). So any advice on how to play it from here?

What are some good examples of fun, unique date ideas, aside from the cliched dinner and a movie?

what do you suggest as some fun date ideas??

so is it a good idea to just wait and give her a chance to contact me? Or am I just playing a game? I'm wondering whether it's a good idea to call her again. I don't want to seem too pushy though.

I met this girl the other day and I THINK she likes me. I've seen her at a few parties, and somehow we always end up gravitating towards each other and talking for over an hour each time. A few of the occasions have been when we both had a few drinks in us. I finally asked for her number one night and she gave it to me. I called her two days later and talked for a bit, and it turned out we were both going to the same party that same night, so I didn't make any other plans with her. That night, it seemed that she was totally into me. We had our arms around each other the whole night and she took my hand and even led me to the dance floor. While dancing she continued to take my hands and put them around her and then told me she wanted to sit down for awhile. So while on the couch I had my arm around her and she took my other arm and put it around her from the front so I was in essense hugging her. After that night I totally felt she was into me, but wasn't sure since we were both a big drunk. The next day (yesterday) I called her to go get a cup of coffee with me and we met up and talked for about 2 hours. I thought things went pretty well. However she mentioned that she didn't remember much of the previous night (us dancing) so I didn't know whether to take that as her not being interested, her telling the truth, or her just being embarrassed. I'm wondering whether to call her again today or let her contact me. I think I'm over analyzing everything, I have a habit of doing that. I've called her twice before, once which was to ask her to go grab a cup of coffee. I don't want to seem desperate, but I don't want her to feel that I'm not interested either. I also texted her this morning and didn't get a reply back yet. Maybe she's too shy and is waiting for me to call her again, I'm just not sure. Any advice?