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It's illegal. But she wants it.


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My 18 year old girlfriend has recently brought up the topic of sexual intercourse to me.

I am split on both ends of yes and no.

 

The benefits:

-She is very attractive

-Sex could be fun

-It could be a demonstrator of showing what love I have for her

 

The Negatives:

-It's illegal. I'm underage.

-The possibility of getting her impregnated.

-By resfusing, I'm afraid that she will become sad and depressed.

 

What do you think?

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Not a good idea...it can wait...there's no reason to rush into something your're not sure of to satisfy someone else. if she gets depressed over it, that's not your fault...that would be a sign of a whole set of underlying problems on her end.

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If you aren't completely comfortable with the idea of sex yet, then that's your choice. I mean, it wouldn't be right to force it on you.

 

Since you are having doubts, I suggest waiting. She will not become depressed. She will survive without sex.. I mean, if she cares about you at all, she will respect your choice.

 

You are only 15 too. Sex is a HUGE step in a relationship. And the consequence can be pregnancy.

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don't even worry about her becoming sad or depressed just because you wont have sex with her. It's your choice no matter what.

 

You are definitely at a young age.......You'd be a wise man to wait.

She shouldn't make you feel like you have to do it or she'll leave you either... if she tries to do that... call her bluff. Don't give in.

 

There is a risk of getting her pregnant, like always....is she on the pill or anything like that?

 

If you have the slightest doubt about doing it, then don't do it and don't be afraid to tell her that. You're young, and in my opinion, 15 is too young to be having sex, especially with an 18 year old. *She should know better. Plus there's STD risk and all that stuff.

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My 18 year old girlfriend has recently brought up the topic of sexual intercourse to me.

I am split on both ends of yes and no.

lets see if I can help

 

The benefits

-She is very attractive

so are a lot of people

-Sex could be fun

could be fun, probably will be, not going to be any less fun if you wait

-It could be a demonstrator of showing what love I have for her

there are other legal and safer ways to demonstrate love.

 

The Negatives

-It's illegal. I'm underage.

good to keep that in mind. she would be the one to get in trouble, not you

-The possibility of getting her impregnated.

important also, imo if you aren't ready for the remote possibility of babies and STI you aren't ready for sex.

-By resfusing, I'm afraid that she will become sad and depressed.

you should never let someone else's feelings guilt you into doing anything, if she becomes sad and depressed it's not your fault.

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Illegal, who cares? She becoming depressed, rrrright?!

It really comes down to you wanting it or not. Beware though, having her pregnant is a possibility! Just both take precautions in case you guys decide to have sex.

 

How long have you been together? Do you think you know her quite well? Just some things you could ask yourself to get a real answer on the question: "do I want to have sex with her now or don't I?"

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Wow, your post gives me hope for your generation. Good for you for questioning these very sensible doubts and generally uneasy feeling you have about this.

 

I don't think you should go there. If she becomes depressed because you won't have sex with her, that's a form of manipulation that a mature, good girlfriend would NOT try to pull on you.

 

Explain to her it's for her own good and your's that you're not ready to take the relationship in that direction. It will be a hard thing for you to do, but it will also be a very adult-like way to make a decision, and part of growing up is making decisions based on what the right thing is, not strictly because it's something we want (or that someone else wants). As you will realize more and more, the two are often very different.

 

And see how she reacts to it. If she is negative, pouty, depressed, or even breaks up with you...you'll know you did the right thing! You don't want to get sexually involved with someone like that.

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i think you have enough on your plate without adding sex to it just yet. sex can be fun, but on top of everything you hav gone through recently, there will be the added worries of pregnancy and STIs.

 

If you really genuinely feel it is the right time and thing for you to be doing, then by all means, it's your life, and your decision. i lost my virginity at 15, and i dont regret it, but that doesn't mean it's the right thing for everyone.

 

All people on here can do is advise you based on experience, but at the end of the day, it is your choice to make. but seriously, if you're having doubts, don't do it.

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I am glad you seem to have enough self control to make an informed decision and the willingness to say no and wait until you a ready. You have far more restraint than I. If I were in that situation, once I figured out how to avoid pregnancy there is little chance I would have said no.

 

Good luck to you!

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The Negatives:

-It's illegal. I'm underage.

Actually in most places age of consent is 16

-The possibility of getting her impregnated.

Ask her if she is willing to go on birth control pill also use a condum with spermicide. Two methods of birth control will make the chance of her getting pregnant next to zero.

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He's 15, so even with an age of consent of 16, he's still too young.

 

And i think the mental impact of having sex can also be far greater than any risks. There are ways of protecting yourselves from getting pregnant, but there are no protections against the issues sex can cause both immediately, and later in life, if you feel pressured into it, or aren't ready to handle the level of intimacy the act can bring.

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So does the original poster feel he isn't prepared in his own mind or is it just the worry of things going wrong with respect to physical health. If its physical health, talk to a nurse. If its emotional issues let your woman know that you are uncomfortable and that you want to wait until you've matured. If its the law, then tell your girlfriend that you don't want to make her a criminal and that you could never forgive yourself if someone found out and she suffered for it.

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I for one think you need more/better parental attention! I don't think your needs are being met by the adults in your life...

 

I also think for your age, you are left with too many major decisions to be made on your own, considering your previous posts...I hope you are being well taken care of...

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Get one thing out of the way before you start another. I can totally understand at 15, as a male especially that all systems are go with sex. I would really advise to wait on that...for now. You might be fighting a serious battle here shortly with the other things going on in your life. I would really think putting your effort into solving that would be better at this point.

 

Sex, especially in the beginning is a BIG CHANGE. It's a major step and should be able to be enjoyed and appreciated at the same time. The emotional changes that come with it are pretty major too. Right now, I think things are just a little too off balance to engage in any new emotions right now.

 

Did that make any sense?

 

I don't even think the situation here is about it being legal or not...I think it's more about you being ready to step into that commitment and are you strong enough to handle it right now. I think if you tell her no, not right now, she'll understand.

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I would say NO to having sex right now with your GF. I too think you have a more pressing situation at hand with the abuse from your sister. That is something that I would be more concerned over at this point. I posted in the other thread you have about the abuse from your sister, but haven't seen any response to the post.

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