Wife to be, messing around, need help!

[BigSyke]

So ive been engaged to this girl that im in love with. She is a model and has posed for playboy many times. She started off being not the greatest girlfriend, and slowly has stopped the drinking and other stuff. it was bad. But her sister died recently, and now she has been slowing down. We live together and spend every day with eachother. We are best friends.

 

Well i have been getting suspicious lately, very suspicious. The myspace addiction for her started 3 months ago. Thats all she does now. All night. She has meet over 1200 guys off of there, and the story gets ALOT WORSE!

 

She was using my computer to do the pimping, so i decided enough was enough. I got a keylogger, found out her passwords. The rest is very graphic, well sorta, but it hurts for me.

 

I read her email, and i guess for 5 months she has been going up to see this 520lb guy, while she only weighs 105lbs. I was shocked. Hundreds of dirty emails from him, and emails of him finding out about me. Worse, there was tons of sexual pictures on there. I puked, then started shaking. I kept reading all of these emails and just couldnt believe it. Shocked. Ive seen worse pictures on her email than ive seen in hardcore xxx movies.

 

I have then found out she meet a guy off myspace, who was 65 and lived in san diego. he was showing pictures of "himself" to her, and she was saying things like "oh yes, i cant wait to bla bla bla" . She returned from sandiego a week ago.

 

I then checked her myspace....OH MY GOD. I couldnt even cry. I kid you not, 100's of dirty emails, her saying she had a boyfriend, but still wants to meet up. She has thousands of emails, thousands from hundreds of different guys saying things like "oh my god, you are the hottest girl alive, lets meet up so i can make love to you" and "hey girl im glad we could see eachother, your body is amazing and cant wait to have sex with you all night" I couldnt believe it, in fact, there were so many, that i had 5 of my co-workers read different sections of the myspace inbox. She didnt add me as a friend on myspace until recently, but keeps putting nude pics of her up there. She only takes them down when i yell at her.

 

I have been lied to for months and months. But i really really love this girl, and were getting married in a month, and our kid is about to be born. WHAT DO I DO? This girl is my best friend and we have a house together. What do I do? i dont wanna control her, that will push her away.

[Beyondthesea]

were getting married in a month

 

Wrongo! Time to call off the wedding! There is absolutely nothing you can do to 'make her' different.

 

Have you approached her and told her you've seen all this??? You have to do that and I'm sorry to say, it's time to pack up and leave. She has big issues that need to be dealt with.

[Beyondthesea]

I just went back and read through your issues with this woman...why the heck have you stayed this long?

[DN]

If I were you I would call off the wedding, figure out the best way to co-parent the child when it is born and start the healing process after a break-up as soon as I could.

 

 

I most certainly would not marry someone who would do what she has done.

[lonestar_80]

I think you should confront her about her behavior. Talk to her and tell her that you have noticed a change in her. If she tries to lie... tell her that you read her myspace profile. If she is cheating on you then you need to know this. How in the world could she be having sex with a 500 pound guy? I think you should talk to her. She is putting you and your baby in danger if she is having sex with these men. Maybe she feels bad about herself because she is pregnant and her self esteem is not high right now. It does not sound like she is ready to be married to you. You may want to consider going to a counselor. This does not sound good at all, and if it gets worse you need to break up with her right away. She is putting you in danger by talking to strangers over the internet. Who knows who they are or what they will do to her. People on the net stalk people all the time.

 

Good luck I hope that every thing will work out.

[brando]

And you want her back because she posed for playboy????????

[melrich]

What do I do? i dont wanna control her, that will push her away.

 

I don't think this is about "control". Have you spoken to her at all about all this online activity? What sort of response do you get?

[Iceman26]

Dude, I know it is the fantasy of most guys to be with a playboy model, but is it really worth it to date someone who does crap like this?

 

This is someone with some real severe issues. I sure as hell wouldn't want to raise a kid, much less marry someone like that. It just isn't worth it.

[SarahRose]

How would you know if the baby is even yours?

[Iceman26]

How would you know if the baby is even yours?

 

Good call.

[FCTex]

If you own the house, kick her out. Tell her to pack her things, and tell her to let you know when the kid is born, and to get a blood test to see if it's yours.

 

Thats uncalled for, and you NEED TO WAKE UP. You are no where at fault for this. None what so ever, and you have EVERY ounce of ammunition to prove her, should she deny it.

 

I'd say walk.. Wait, no.. RUN.

[CynicalGuitarist]

Man, don't become completely p^$$y whipped! This lying temptress will only ruin your life! It is only typical of a playboy model to be messin' round with other guys... I know she must look hotter than two rats having sex in a wool sock, and it's gonna be hard to break away from her... but think about it; do you really wanna be the not-so-proud owner of the town bicycle? Do you really want your (?) offspring to have a tainted view of sexuality?

 

I'm not saying any of this is your fault, but ya gotta be strong... or else you'll be the tool of a woman that has more clap than an AC/DC concert. Feel free to interpret that in any way that you wish. Regardless, I think it's high-time you move on.

[BigSyke]

ok so i confronted her last night. She said "haha, whatever, your messing around with your ex-girlfriend anyways, uhh i gotta go...." I dont really have an ex-girlfriend in this state anymore. She said the computer typed all that stuff, and the dates are messed up because of a virus. She also said the 500lbs guy had a prophecy that i would go in and read her emails, so he made up that they were having sex, and photoshopped her into the XXX photos. HA! Her and the 500lb guy had a small relationship years ago, and lived together. She then changed the story and said we werent dating at the time they had sex like bunnie rabits, and the times they had sex after that, and she cheated on me, she....uhhh...uhhh...had him type that to get me jelious? HAHAHA

 

ladies and gentlemen. I have heard some of the dumbest excuses known to man, and since im pretty much a certified investigator, I just couldnt believe her responses.

 

"NO baby, i love you, just come her....FINE YOU A HOLE, IM GOING TO have sex with the world!......no im kidding come here i love you!"

 

oh my god seriously, after everything i showed her printed out, showed her, around 300 pages of just GRAPHIC XXX pictures of her and just crack dealing looking white gangsters, her excuses are, "HA you made that up because your having sex with your ex-girlfriend wow just leave so i can have some guys over!" WOW! I am a very profesional, good looking businessman, and shes going after these toothless crack dealing gangbangers, who call her ma, or runner, or bustdown, and she loves it. Hundreds, HUNDREDS of guys, everywhere we go, say a gangster is like "hey sexy you wanna taste of what the homies could do to your "BEEP", i bet we could run a train on you" and she smiles and shows the her cleavage like its a game. wow a pretty blonde just out of effing control.

 

But once i do get my stuff and leave, then personality 2 kicks in, to where shes begging and begging and crying, telling me it was all a joke, and how her dad used to beat her, and shes just trying to get attention.

 

 

We talked for 3 hours last night on why she did those things. "I cheated on you all those million times with hundreds of guys, because you didnt give me the attention i needed, i know you talked to your ex while we were dating!!!! but i did NOT cheat on you!"

 

 

WHAT THE F!!!!!!

 

sorry for all the B.S but finding out that she was a prostitute in vegas, and now In MN, i feel like turning her in, I could get her jail time with all the signed checks and pictures of prostitution.

 

What do I do? drag her to councelling? she said she would stop and get help with me, and as long as i give her the attention she needs, she will "NEVER talk to another guy, unless its for sex, or money". AND YOU CAN QUOTE ME ON THESE QUOTES!

[RayKay]

What do I do? drag her to councelling? she said she would stop and get help with me, and as long as i give her the attention she needs, she will "NEVER talk to another guy, unless its for sex, or money"

 

Are you kidding me? She has in her words cheated on you "millions of times", exposed you and "your" baby to whom knows WHAT viruses (I recommend you get a full STI check up NOW), is completely blaming YOU for her actions and yet you are considering counselling to stay with her?

 

And she is saying even then she won't talk to another guy except for "sex or money". Wow, you are planning on marrying a prostitute. Fantastic.

 

This is not love, this is dependency on your part, and complete selfish and greediness on her part. Whatever her past, it's no excuse for how she treats you, or for you to stay with her.

 

I hate to be harsh but honestly, if you stay with her, you are being a fool. The situation is not going to improve, so unless your idea of a great partner and wife is someone whom will cheat, lie, manipulate, risk your life, her life and her child's life....well, I urge you to reconsider. Even if she is "hot" she won't be for long at this rate...

[Beyondthesea]

Dude, you are completely wasting your time. She is not going to change. Her personality disorder is not going to change.

 

Why stay and let all this continue? You will always have to worry about her cheating on you and being out with hundreds of other men.

 

Being beaten is no excuse and if she really felt that unloved she would leave you. So why does she keep you around? For a safety net.

 

First thing you should do: kick her out.

Second thing: Be tested for every STD known to man.

[BigSyke]

well, i did kick her to the curb, but being me, all of the girls i have dated, have cheated on me, alot. I dont know if its something wiht me, or just the girls i date (even church girls!) but this is making me think, this is life! you will be cheated on, at least, 50 times a year, or what not. And i feel like i have accepted it. It hurts, but i have built up a blindness against it, so it KILLS me deep down inside, but its like i just brush it off, and try harder to make things work.

 

But deep inside i wanna snap, and as time goes by, and looking back at the reality, that my wife to be, is having sex! with metally retarted people (literally, 4 years with a mentally retarted guy, who sues people for money hence=filty rich) She says she gives him private dances, but now im hearing she is actually sleeping with him! she is supposidly married to this guy too!! im emailing her father about this.

 

Im defintaly getting rid of her, but honestly the reason im on here, is to get strength. My brain is telling me there is nobody better than her, you will be single forever. I lost all of my friends for her, they dont wanna talk to me anymore. Its really really really hard to leave a woman who is so wanted by EVERY single guy including your 15 year old younger brother hahah! There are posters of her in some of my buddies rooms! everywhere i look, i feel like i dont have a chance. She will replace me in 2 minutes flat. She really wouldnt care if I really left, because in the past, i have tried to leave and break up with her. By the time i arrive at my parents house which is 2 minutes away, shes already at some guys house getting it on.

 

Im in hell right now, in a prision i need to move away. How do you get over somebody quickly?

 

I know once im gone, the only thing i will beable to think about, is who she is with, and it will control me to the point of uselessness.

[Beyondthesea]

She will replace me in 2 minutes flat. She really wouldnt care if I really left, because in the past, i have tried to leave and break up with her. By the time i arrive at my parents house which is 2 minutes away, shes already at some guys house getting it on.

 

In all honesty, if you are constantly attracting unavailable women, there's something wrong inside of you and you should go to counseling. There's an unresolved issue there, and if you don't deal with it, you will continually attract these women.

 

Why would you want someone who will replace you in a moment's glance? She obviously isn't in love with you then. Someone you love should be irreplaceable.

 

Sadly there is no 'quick way' to get over someone. The best way to do it is to deal with it rather than 'pushing it under' where the issues will resurface over and over again.

 

I highly recommend counseling. You'd be very surprised what your childhood and past experiences bring into your future.

[Iceman26]

My brain is telling me there is nobody better than her, you will be single forever.

 

Well then f your brain man, because your brain should be telling you that there is no one worse than her. Better to be single forever than to deal with that nightmare.

 

Everybody is replaceable. The only reason a guy would get with her is to have sex with her man. You know that people don't respect someone that acts like a * * * * *. She is no better than a rutting pig.

 

Do what you have to do to get out of this. If you feel you have to move, then move. Get away and let her have sex with all the mentally retarded Eminem's all she wants.

 

This isn't love man, even you know that the reason you are with her is because she is good looking. You know what, looks fade over time, and you are left with what is on the inside.

 

If you are successful as you claim to be, be with someone successful, not a piece of vile filth like her. Get your life straight, change up your priorities, and then find yourself a decent successful woman.

[BigSyke]

thanks iceman! yea i guess that is so true. I mean i need to get out so i can take my mind off her body, and focus on the true B*** and Sl*t she is

[iceman85]

wow BigSyke im so sorry for what your going through. You could write a book on worst case scenarios and breakups.

 

You have to get rid of this woman no doubt about it. I just hope the kid turns out alright. If its yours you should be able to win custody of the kid very very easily.

 

I know its hard because you loved her but seriously she is no better than a trash can, she did this to you, she does whatever with all these different guys, she really needs help and like others say she may be the hot * * * * now but in a few years shes gonna be lower than low when the looks fade and shes not the beauty she was.

 

You'll find someone better, your successful and squared away. I dont know why people cheat. I think its the worst thing you can do to someone, but apparantley im in the minority there since so many people do it without much guilt.

 

Post here, you'll be fine and like the others said counseling may be a good thing, this is a whole lot to deal with and I think some time spent talking about everything and letting it all out would be great. This is gonna be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life to leave her and live with what shes done, just know that when you are completley done with this you'll be so much better off.

[lonestar_80]

Im defintaly getting rid of her, but honestly the reason im on here, is to get strength. My brain is telling me there is nobody better than her, you will be single forever. I lost all of my friends for her, they dont wanna talk to me anymore. Its really really really hard to leave a woman who is so wanted by EVERY single guy including your 15 year old younger brother hahah!

 

Please! That trick is crazy! That is all she is. She tricks men for money, sex etc. Just be happy that she is out of your life! Go get tested for STD's and get a blood test when the kid is born. Don't let me catch you the Maury show..."Who's my baby daddy?"

 

She is crazy!! Just crazy!! I have never heard of so much crap lies in my life. She is a nut case and she needs to be let go.