They are afraid of us changing!!

[Hurting4Sure]

Long story short my "wife" is supposed to be going overseas to see her internet boyfriend this weekend, but as of yet he has not come through woth the ticket. So due to the kids I have been doing LC, she calls me I do not call her,and I have been reading the forums here and taking that advice. I answer the phone and before I do i smile, it really works. I sound happy when we talk and I have still been there when she has needed me. So also I have been going to church.

 

Well last nite she calls and leaves me a voicemail while I am in church. I call her back after and I said I was in church and she went "crazy". She just got mad at me about everything, said she did not want a "churchy" guy etc. This was the first time I went on a wednesday mind you. She said she wanted a divorce right now, and she would get the money to do it, I said ok thats what I figured we were doing.

 

She also said we are on different paths, I said duh you are in love with some other guy, so I would agree we are heading down different paths. That she did not like. Now I also want to note that after awhile she did call back and apologize. But during the whole thing I was calm, cool not arguing, and confident, not cocky.

 

She did admit her life was going to crap and mine seemed to be going good. Now I don't know if we will ever be together again, at this moment she could be packing for all I know, but her internet boyfriend seems to be letting her down and I find comfort in that. Also with the LC I am not so much a basket case anymore, it really does help. It is hard to fight those text message urges, the I love yOu's and the calls, etc. But in the end they do wonder, what is he doing?

 

Just a progress report on my situation.

 

Thanks guys!!!! You have been great!!!!

[Scout]

And YOU sound like YOU are handling things great. My friend, continue to leave this mess in God's hands, as He will surely lead you to where He wants you to be. And it will be in a good place.

[Scout]

And on a sidenote....

She also said we are on different paths, I said duh you are in love with some other guy, so I would agree we are heading down different paths. That she did not like.

 

Ha! I love it!! You called this one perfectly.

[brando]

The more calm and cool and less argumentive you are the better you will get through this.

 

I am sure her head was spinning a bit after she talked to you.

 

 

MT 5:25 Agree with thy adversary quickly, while thou art in the way with him

[Pikey1972]

Hurting4Sure, I'm proud of you!! You've claimed the moral high ground, are keeping busy and focussing on yourself and your children. It sounds like you've really got your head together: that shows great strength of character.

 

Keep up the good work!

[kellbell]

Awesome update!!!

 

I was wondering how you have been doing. Cool, calm, collected...the three C's that will take you very far. I am proud of you. You are so much better off. She is getting testy because she is no longer holding the cards and calling all the shots.

 

Keep up the good work, remember...you still have your friends here on eNotalone to talk to.

[coollady1957]

Good to see your update. Keep your sights ahead of you on what you need to do and keep standing up for what you know is the right thing. You have come a long way, so keep up the path.

[annie24]

great job! keep up the good work!!! keep going to church, and doing the things that make you feel happy and relaxed (going to the park, bicycling, maybe go to a bible study class with other people your age).

 

we are here for you!

[flower99]

And YOU sound like YOU are handling things great. My friend, continue to leave this mess in God's hands, as He will surely lead you to where He wants you to be. And it will be in a good place.

 

Totally agree!!! I am so happy for you

best of luck & keep trusting God, he's got a plan

 

oh what's LC????

[annie24]

LC = Limited contact

[flower99]

LC = Limited contact

 

Ahhh!!! Thank you

[mikeca]

nicely done, way to show her the calm collected breakee gets them everytime

[HardShowingAffection]

Hurting4Sure... I agree with you! When I saw my ex a few weeks after she dumped me, I had started working out again, looked really good, and was carrying a smile on my face. We met for volleyball, where I took an interest in her life and was smiling, being all nice and confident.

 

After one of the questions about her, which she took personally, she snapped, and said "Whatever... you come in here all happy, looking good, working out, gloating...", and all I could do was say that I had been working on myself and learning from my past. I don't think she liked that too much!

 

A few weeks later, we talked, and I was happy, she could see how far I was coming along, and I had told her how from all my reading, posting, etc. I had actually helped a few couples out, and also had a few friends at work reading some of the books I had... and it felt really good. She was like "so, do you want a cookie?..". I just kind of laughed in my head, because I am coming out of this leaps and bounds ahead of where I was 2 months ago. I am doing this for me, and how she handles it is up to her, but I am guessing she is going to take the same baggage into her next relationship!