NC Bandwagon 2, hop on n hope for the best

[notanymore]

hey pikey1972

 

I still feel pretty guilty as I haven't told him I'm going back to NC

i was in your place last month,i kept LC , txd her and waited everyday for a response. so much so that her very thought made me sick.at the end of the week i came to know the news about my ex with her new.thts when i satrted my NC.been over a month but trust me , i feel much better now.

 

why are u feeling shattered, cheer up, you are a brave person, i kno its hard to let go of the hope to get together again,but the fact is he has let go of you and its bout time you did so too.

 

i cant promise whether NC will work or not but will make u a better person,a happier person who can stand up for herself.

 

have faith in yourself, u ll be out of it soon, i know i have.

 

(((hugs to you)))

[Pikey1972]

Hey notanymore, many thanks for your kind words, and a hug back!

 

Yes, I was beginning to feel much stronger during my 1 month of NC back in January (I went back to LC after that as I was feeling so much better). However, 1 month of NC wasn't enough for me, and I should have maintained it for a few more months.

 

My main problem is that I always go on a guilt trip when I feel I'm hurting people: two weeks ago my ex and I were getting on really well, and I feel like I'm pulling the rug from under his feet by going NC. Then again, like you say, he's let go of me, so I need to let go of him.

 

Thanks again, and take care,

 

Pikey

[Romi]

Hello people!

Notanymore, I'm glad to hear that you are better!

 

It's day 29 of NC. Today I'm feeling very sensitive because it's 4 months aniversary that his mother died and I miss her too. Since she died, I used to call him every month to show him that I care about him, but that was worse for me. So I decided to stay in NC. Maybe he will miss my call...

 

Also, I think that I can't enjoy everything that I have in my life, every goal I reach, because I can't share this with him. It's really frustrating...

Hope I can find someone that makes me forget about him. Otherwise I feel that I can't be happy... I'm soo alone

 

Romi

[pablovblack]

Hello people!

I think that I can't enjoy everything that I have in my life, every goal I reach, because I can't share this with him. It's really frustrating...

Romi

 

I know what your saying, this morning I went for my Theory test for riding a motorcycle (I passed), I was with my ex 2 years ago when I did the same test but for driving a car, she was the first person I called to say I had passed, but unfortunatley I couldnt ring her this time.... Yep, its very sad indeed.....

 

I feel for you all in these truley sad and lonely times, but we are here, we are trying to make a difference, understand and progress ourselves, so come on lets pat ourselves on the back and keep moving forward, we are good people just a little lost, sad and alone thats all...

 

Lets find our way back home, and by home I mean ourselves....

 

Love to you all.....

 

x

[Romi]

Pablovblack, I know what you mean, I bought a beautiful car last week, but I can't enjoy it because he is no with me... It sucks!

 

Hugs, Romi

[searching1951]

63 days of NC today. I'm in a depressed state again. I think there are other issues at play, but the core issue is her. Everything would be fine if I could just hold her hand again. My situation is so weird I can't recite it here, but she is so unstable, deciding to marry an ex after 2 weeks post disappearing (that's right, juyst disappearing, not really dumping). I know that if I saw her we'd be passionately kissing and hugging, but it would be meaningless...she is so pathologically f^&kied up. Still, 9 weeks of NC is as painful as ever.

[notanymore]

had an okay day today

she had called yesterday after a month. i did not respond, niether do i wish to .mixed feelings today. thank u romi and majord u guys helped me get over that adrenalin rush and put things in perspective.

 

the day started off well, hope to end it on a good note as well.

hugs to all

Cheers

NC is great

[fifregister]

another lonely night last night. was at home feeling like absolute crap. dragged myself off the floor and did laundry all night.

 

another morning feeling lost, empty, shaken to the core....it's been a week since we last talked and more than a week since i saw him.

 

got a full social schedule tonight and leaving to a business trip tomorrow.

 

i'm walking around like an empty shell, letting people know i'm ok with my hollow laughs and witticisms, but just dead on the inside.

[bstrong2day]

It's been over three weeks since my fiance broke up with me, and the only contact that was made was a letter from me sent 5 days after the break-up in which I stated that I knew she was at a cross-roads, apologized for "mistakes", and wanted to work things out. She never responded to that letter. Yesterday I had to send her another letter through the mail asking for the engagement ring back. It should get to her today. I would have preferred to continue with no contact, although I felt that I had to ask for the ring back. Here's what I wrote.

 

"I have always respected you and stuck by your side through thick and thin. When I proposed and asked you to marry me, we made a promise to each other. The ring was a symbol of that promise. Now that times are different and that promise cannot be kept, please send me the engagement ring back. If you put it in the mail it needs to be insured for $XXXX. I'd also be willing to pick it up at your aunt's house. Give me a time and date."

-Me

 

This has been the hardest 3 weeks of my life. I'm still suffering so much. I felt so safe, and this blindsided me. Gotta keep on living, moving, and working. Gotta tough it out. Thanks to everyone on this site for offering me support, words of wisdom, and the reminder that life does continue on.

[Romi]

Hello people! It's day 30 of NC!

 

Notanymore, I'm sooooo glad you didn't call her back! I think that she hurt you in a really bad way and if she wants to talk to you, she must efford to contact you. I bet that she's wondering right now why didn't you call her back! HA HA HA.

 

fifregister you are getting through the most difficult part of a break up. The only thing I can tell you is that it gets better! Hold on in there and every time you want to call him or see him, write in this place. It really helps!

I personally suport NC for every situation! If our exes are coming back, they have to do it because they want to and not because we ask them out or something like that. If not, lets move on people!

 

HUGS

 

Romi

[thlst3]

Please, do not break NC.

 

It'll save you the heartache and sorrow.

 

Be strong and use NC to move on. I tried it for 30+days and caved this week. It was terrible mistake.

[jojean]

yes i do agree. Keeping to it eventually will be very easy..but when you break it.. It feels like you'll have to start all over again. (in your mind)

Everytime you will rant about everything.. all the what if's again.. and how the ex thinks..etc. etc.

But when you're down the road. It will let go. For me day 8 of NC.

I had a bit tough moment on day 6.. But I know it will past. Everytime.

Going to this forum helps me a lot.

[jojean]

I hate the feeling knowing that he's having fun..and that I'm not (yet)..

I know I should standing above that.. but just..sometimes it's so mindconsuming. I need a way to get my mind fully focused on my study.

I need a way to not think of him.. aargh-moment

[Hurting4Sure]

Okay, long story short, been with my wife for 18 years, she has been having an internet afair past few years, (thought it was over) guy lives in Sweden, we live in us. I moved out in March when I found out she was talking to him, now next week she is going to fly there as see him.

 

All the time still stringing me along, so now I know she is confused, these type of relationships seldom work out, but that is not the point! I am starting today going LC (because of the kids). She can go see him and deal with all that crap, I am out and doing it for me. And yes it SUCKS, but I think I will feel better when she gets back, because now it's like well, your wife is going to be with another guy next week, kinda like knowing when you are going to die or something. You know what I mean, so in that regard I think I will be better when she comes back, becasue it will be over, at least that part.

[jojean]

Hi hurting4sure,

 

sorry to hear this. I do find it selfish of your wife. How can she put you in this? And how can you swallow this? You're going to let her go and wait for her? .. Ever thought what will happen if she does like this guy in Sweden when she goes there? I'm sorry to say this, but just..want you prepair for it.

[notanymore]

hi everyone,

how is NC going on. I am in those bad phases the past few days, life has not been kind to me , at least that what i think, i feel like giving up every now n then,its like i am goin in spirals. the more i dont want to think abourt her , the more my thought process swings towards her. then i feel guilty because of the fact that " hell she d be happily in the arms of her new and not thinking about me one bit but here i am wasting my days wondering about her"

 

also when i start to feel better i go down again thinking " it took me such a while to get over her and she was back to her merry ways in no time,also when i feel happy i think what if she still loves me and comes back, would breaking NC and calling her just once i could maybe get her back"

 

then i have these whose fault ur or mine thoughts.no matter what the fact is whenever i m happy i think it was her fault to have left me and when i m down , i regret having broken up.these thoughts go on and on and on. i just cant seem to get out of this.

 

My NC goes on but all my efforts to come back on my feet seem to be drawing no result.

 

fellas i need your help. my college starts in 2 weeks and i dont wanna end up like a zombie .please help me out,i know i m sounding desparate but thats what i am .

[Psylocke960]

Hey notanymore! You've helped me through your words of encouragement so I hope I can help you as well. You told me to have faith in myself and I did. I figured that's the only thing keeping me going and you know what? I'm so much stronger today. So I thank you!

 

I've stopped dwelling on what could have been between my ex and I. It's over and I've learned to accept it. No matter how difficult it is, the only one that can change your life is you. So do not let her get to you or consume your thoughts anymore.

 

Please take care and PM if you want.

[notanymore]

hey everyone, how is NC going on

feeling great today, ironic isnt it. till yesterday i was down in dumps, today am on top of the world.thanks a lot psylocke.thank u for being there.

 

havent heard from the other members of the bandwagon lately, i hope u all are doing great with NC.have faith and beileve in yourself that u can come out of it, you ll emerge out of it much better.

 

good news is that my morning blues have come down from about 2 hours yesterday to only bout 20 odd minutes today,

get up guys, rise n shine. cheers

[Psylocke960]

notanymore - So glad to hear you're feeling better! Keep it up and keep us posted. Remember, PM me if you ever feel down. Thanks for being there for me too!

 

I've been doing so much better myself. Still NC at 33 days! But I personally wanted to thank happyninja75 for helping through all this and making it easier for me.

 

How's everybody else?

[pablovblack]

Still with you all guys, Im starting to feel much better, but had a few relapses and crappy days in the past week but I know I'm healing, I still have a box full of her stuff under my bed I'm actually terrified of giving it back as I dont know what to say, how to act or what the hell to do. But I guess I'll go give it her when I know I cannot be hurt.

 

Its just that no matter how much time passes I know the emotions are gonna come a rolling back, from both sides..

 

notanymore - keep going man your doing so well, we are all here for you, here for you all.

 

much love people, dont forget we are the masters of our destiny, we have the wheel in our hands, steer it and dont look back, theres so much out there, look at life, not your life but the whole thing try and breath life in, look at living beings and nature and movement, be glad you are part of that, try and look at life not from within the emotion you are feeling but from YOURSELF, dont forget that time when you was single and you knew what to do, its round the corner. Be happy that when you wake up you have the ability to put one step forward and walk out your door, some folks dont have the ability to do that, some die young, some let go.

 

we have got to take the power back.

 

x

[jojean]

Hi all. It's day 12.. and think I have a fall back moment..

I just still hate it that he's so much in my mind. Why must I think about him?? After he's not showing me any respect?

I just really hate this moment...

And ofcourse I know it's just a moment..

[Pikey1972]

jojean, is there anything you can do to take your mind off things? See friends or family, or go for walk / swim / exercise? I hope you feel better soon - it'll get easier over time, so "hou je taai"!

 

It's hard I know - I'm only on Day 3 after 6 months of LC (tried to remain friends with my ex but couldn't manage it - too many feelings there). I find I feel much better when I'm out of my house seeing people: of course it's not possible to do this 24 hours a day (;-)), but over time it should get easier to also spend time on your own without dwelling on your ex.

 

Time is our greatest healer...

 

Take care, hugs,

 

Pikey

[pablovblack]

Hi all. It's day 12.. and think I have a fall back moment..

I just still hate it that he's so much in my mind. Why must I think about him?? After he's not showing me any respect?

I just really hate this moment...

And ofcourse I know it's just a moment..

Its only 12 days jojean, everyone varies but honestly it takes much longer.

Where here though and wish you the best.

[iwillsurvive]

Day 42.. Alot of good and bad days. Today not so good. I just have to be strong and know that there is a better plan for me in the future.

 

Anyone thinking about breaking NC. DON'T Do IT. It will set you back, and its not worth it.

[bstrong2day]

I'm still in a tough situation for NC. My fiance broke up with me a month ago and has made no contact with me whatsoever. I had to send her a letter last week asking for the engagement ring back, and she has yet to respond. I don't know what my next step should be?