NC Bandwagon 2, hop on n hope for the best

[mikeca]

heres a song that helps me out whenever I lose my faith (not religiously)

 

It's been a long road

Getting from there to here

It's been a long time

But my time is finally near

 

And I can feel the change in the wind right now

Nothings in my way

And they're not gonna hold me down no more

No there not gonna hold me down

 

Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

And no one's gonna bend or break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith

I've got faith

Faith of the heart

 

It's been a long night

Trying to find my way

Been through the darkness

Now I finally have my day

I will see my dream come alive at last

I will touch the sky

And they're not gonna hold me down no more

No there not gonna change my mind

 

Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

And no one's gonna bend or break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith

Faith of the heart

 

I've known a wind so cold and seen the darkest days

But now the winds I feel are only winds of change

I've been through the fire and I've been through the rain

But I'll be fine

 

Cause I've got faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

I can do anything

I've got strength of the soul

And no one's gonna bend or break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith

Faith of the heart

 

Faith of the heart

I'm going where my heart will take me

I've got faith to believe

That no one's gonna bend or break me

I can reach any star

I've got faith

I've got faith

Faith of the heart

 

Its been a long road

[lioness726]

Hey moonchild. Hang in there. I don't think you should hope for something. You should work on yourself and things you enjoy.

 

My motto has always been, "If it's meant to be, it's meant to be." And what I mean by that, is that it will just happen on its own, when you're not expecting it.

If you live your life without looking back on the past too much, mostly working toward a good future for YOU, things will simply fall into place.

I believe in fate a lot (kind of lost my belief in that while dating my ex- got a little jaded), but I also believe that we still have the freedom to make choices. Choose the best thing for you. And if thinking about your ex or wanting him back hurts, then it's not good for you.

 

You can hope, but only hope for things that you can see are within your reach. Start small. Like a new hairstyle or outfit. Maybe a vacation at the end of the month. Now is the time to spoil yourself. Just don't get your checkbook or credit in trouble!

 

In my situation it's odd because a teeny-weeny part of me wants him back (probably the part that wants things to be "normal" again), but the larger part of me knows that I need to go through this. Anyone who breaks your heart like this isn't the one for you. It took me the third break up with my ex to realize that.

 

Good luck and remember, NC!

Ha, there should be a NC mantra!

[moonchild]

Thank you Romi & lioness for your reply.

I have deeply thought about our situation and I know that things will not work out right now. He is still young and I am in another country, but I was his first love and he was my deepest love. I just cannot believe that this is the way it ends. It was over the phone. He hasn't called, only msg'd. It hurts soooo bad, because things may have worked out if I had only kept strong after he left and not put ideas into his head about not working out.

It's my birthday in 2 weeks time and I'm curious to see if he contacts me. If he doesn't, then I know he isn't worthit, but what if he does??? Do I reply or stay with NC???

Also, it's his 21'st coming up soon. It's a big day. Would like to send him a wellwishing msg, but don't know if I should???

 

So confused

[moonchild]

It was only circumstances that tore us apart, with a little help from me. I always said to him, to let me know when his feelings change.

He said that if he were still in this country, we'd still be together and most probably even get married. It's only because he's there and I'm here.

He does love me, but it's not going to work. Feelings change.

 

It hurts sooo bad, because if he really loved me, he would have made things work???

[moonchild]

Why did he still text me?? He knows how hard this is for me. Is it really not meant to be if circumstances come inbetween a great relationship?? Is there nothing I can do??

 

I know NC!!! But I want things to be different.

I'm driving myself insane..............

[lioness726]

Moonchild,

NO CONTACT!

 

Make some big plans for your birthday with friends/family. Make sure your day is jam packed with things to do so you don't leave any oppurtunity for yourself to start wondering if he'll contact you.

 

And about his birthday, leave it alone. Make some plans that day as well. Have a friend hang out with you the whole day and tell him or her to make sure you don't try to contact your ex in any way. Especially if he does have a gf!

 

I understand you on the birthday thing though. My birthday is at the end of July and I wonder if my ex will try to contact me. I won't respond but I just kind of wonder if he would. But at the same time, it's a few weeks away so I hope by that time I won't care enough to wonder.

Confusing, huh?

 

And if he does contact you on your b-day, don't contact him back. Here's another saying I like to live by (ha, another one that I forgot while dating my ex) "Absense makes the heart grow fonder... Or wiser."

 

Here's another thing to think about. You were his first love? You're probably not his last. I don't mean to be harsh or mean or hurtful in ANY way. It's just that I've noticed that usually holds true.

What I do mean by telling you that is that just means he's not the right one for YOU.

I used to want to be the one for my ex soo bad. I used to think, why aren't I "the one" for him? It hurt like hell to think that I wasn't.

But I never sat there and asked if he really was the one for me. And the answer I give myself now is, HE'S NOT!

 

Things will work out for you Moonchild. As long as you work on yourself, you will be alright. Sometimes we all need that reassurance. That everything will turn out right with a little time and patience.

 

In the meantime, love yourself.

[moonchild]

Thanks again lioness

 

It does hurt sooo bad and I will get through it, I'm sure. But the grieving process is just taking too long.

Just another quick question, please. Thanks for hearing me out.

I still have some of his things& christmas present and he still has my cd's. I will be going home in 3 weeks and thought of contacting his mom, just to collect my cd's. He said he would do the exchange with my brother, but 'never got the time'.

I want my cd's back, but not sure if I should leave his things with his mom???

I don't want his things anymore, but don't want to be a * * * * * and throw them away.

We did part on good terms.

[moonchild]

Sorry guys, turned the whole positive Hop on NC bandwagon into my personal issue. Just feel so deserted.

 

Will keep up the NC, it's best.

 

Keep strong all of you out there x x

[Silentlyfor]

NC Day 3... I think I might be getting the shakes

[gaiden]

I just re-read your posts red and dude, seriously, I feel for you. We are creatures that bond throughout our lives and breaking that attachment is one of the most painful things we can go through. Just keep posting here throughout the day and we'll keep responding.

[Silentlyfor]

Phew... Almost lost it there. Thought I was going to visit my ex's blog out of curiosity. Still NC day 3 here. Wish me luck!!

[didyoumissme]

Phew... Almost lost it there. Thought I was going to visit my ex's blog out of curiosity. Still NC day 3 here. Wish me luck!!

redmage22 Good Luck! I know you can do it!!! your doing so great already!! hang in there buddy

[lioness726]

So, as if my ex sending me a letter and IMing me asking me if I got his check wasn't enough, he HAS to show up at the bar I've been going to every Thursday night!

 

Funny thing is... I KNEW or rather, I had this feeling that he would show up tonight at the bar.

 

It's almost like I was expecting it.

 

Now, he KNOWS I go to that bar. He knows all my friends have been consistantly going to this bar every Thursday night for the past year. AND the past couple of Thursdays that I had been going since we broke up a couple of weeks ago, I had ran into a couple of friends of his there.

So he KNEW I'd be there. He had to.

 

You think it's just coincidence?

 

Here's the other thing. When we were together he had always talked about how he hated that bar.

 

* * * *! I was fine and happy in my own new world of new friends and new things that I had been starting to do- and he has to show up in this little world of mine.

 

Granted, there were some friends of his there too. But c'mon. Is it really a coincidence? Why did he have to show up there?

He approached me outside while I was smoking a cigarette and he tapped me on the shoulder and I turned and he said "hi". I barely looked at him and said, "hey" and quickly turned away and continued talking with a friend.

 

At least there were A LOT of friends and people I knew there too. All of them were like, "God! I can't believe he showed up here!" They didn't think it was coincidence either.

 

There were no other words spoken between us. I never once looked at him, even though I could feel his presense there. But I completely ignored him. I didn't know what else to do. Before he showed up there I was expecting to have a good time with friends and I had been doing well on my own. Today was one of my good days. But I still had that damn feeling that he would show up. I think it might have been because of his letter and his IM. All of which I pretty much ignored. At least I had been putting NC into full effect.

 

And when I got home from the bar, I saw that I had an e-mail from him that he had sent me earlier in the day. He was asking for a book back. Granted, it is an important book, but still. Can't you have a friend contact me? His e-mail also had a hint of bitterness in it. I think he's realizing that the tables are turned this time and for the first time I actually DON'T want to be with him. (Heh, different from our other two break ups).

He also never asked me about the book at the bar. I think it was because of the way I blew him off. I think that's why he didn't attempt to try to talk to me.

 

I think with all his attempts at contact I guess that's why I thought he would be at the bar.

 

But why?

 

WHY?

 

Why did he have to be there? He stayed there until almost closing time and he used to NEVER stay past midnight on a night where he had to work the next morning...

 

Anyone's input? Help me out here.

 

Oh, here's the thread with what his letter had said to me:

 

Why did he do this? What the hell is going on?

 

(I must have smoked 50 cigarettes tonight and I don't smoke!)

[jeffreyt]

Lioness, I feel for you something like this happen to me a few weeks ago after she broke off our relationship she sent me an email asking me where I was going out on Friday so i told her not thinking she would show up there and sure enough she did. I said to myself why in the world would she show up where I was going needless to say it made for a very tension filled night. Trying to figure your ex out I just get the impression he doesn't want to cut off ties to you but doesn't sound like he wants back either. Are you completely using NC or are you responding to his emails etc. By the way throw those darn cigarettes away lol

[Romi]

Hey Lioness726!

All I can say is Bravo! You acted great last night.

I think we both know it is NOT a coincidence that he went to that bar. He wanted to see you but you acted really cold with him and thats great!

About the book, send it with a friend but don't break NC.

You are doing great and I'm happy for you!!

 

Hugs

 

Romi

[Silentlyfor]

NC day 4.... Heart pumping and I can't think. Really, really.... satisfying to know I will get past this if I keep it up

[gaiden]

Day 14, ahh, two weeks ago my ex fiance hopped on a plane to go be with another man. Ya know what, good riddance. Just remember, (from another sermon by the great pstor), life is like driving a car. God gives you a windshield, the Devil gives you a rear view mirror. Which are you going to choose to use?

[pablovblack]

life is like driving a car. God gives you a windshield, the Devil gives you a rear view mirror. Which are you going to choose to use?

 

Now that is gooooooooood!!!

[Silentlyfor]

NC day 5. Getting better. I think I've also found a way to stop thinking about my ex too.

[blindreepr]

Day 2 of NC after 3 weeks of LC, I havent looked at her myspace or livejournal in a week or so. Her mixed signals make me want to contact her but I know that that is exactly what she wants me to do right now. Being strong and improving myself is what I need to keep doing.

[notanymore]

hey everyone

sorry for my prolonged absense, was out on a vacation.

 

well the good news or bad news is i m back at college.nows my real test to maintain NC.we had a session starting party yeaterday which i avoided due to the fact that my ex was there, havent seen her in 3 months.btw i m not making a big event of seeing her finally,but i guess u guys know what it feels like.

 

i need your faith to come out of this one,i kno i can sail thru this.trust me but i dont feel low anymore,i had been thinking bout this day for months but i m not the least bit broken as i was anticipating myself to be.

 

i m goin to bump into her today, whether i want it or not .so here begins my new adventure, will keep u all updated and just in case of SOS may need advices, but rest assured , i m going NC.

am excited ,slightly anxious but not sad, not even in the mornin

 

cheers to all

[notanymore]

oops .....forgot to add,

 

i kinda broke NC a week ago, read her blog , i dont know if it counts as breaking NC, but she would have come to know tht i ve visited her page.

not feeling bad but stupid about it cos i gave way to this foolish temptation ](*,)

 

am i back on day 1 or wht ????

[Silentlyfor]

oops .....forgot to add,

 

i kinda broke NC a week ago, read her blog , i dont know if it counts as breaking NC, but she would have come to know tht i ve visited her page.

not feeling bad but stupid about it cos i gave way to this foolish temptation ](*,)

 

am i back on day 1 or wht ????

 

This doesn't really count as contact but the connection to her is still there and THAT'S what's important. I would say that you are back to day 1 but I don't know what everyone else thinks.

[Silentlyfor]

Day 7 of NC. The last stage I seem to be going through is depression.... it sucks.

[NCTuskie]

Been going through NC for almost a week now. We haven't spoken in 8 days, but the day after I left a voicemail message. I really sounded like a wuss, and I regret that being the last communication from me.

 

I've gotten to the point where I'm not looking at my phone every 5 minutes, or every morning, disappointed when I don't have any missed calls, voicemails, or text messages from her.

 

When I met her I was at a crossroads in my life where I wanted to do several different things (none of them involved living here), and we planned on living together. Now that option is gone, and it's been tough trying to resume the plans I made before her. But instead of continuing on what I've planned, I've been exploring totally new options. I hope they work out.