NC Bandwagon 2, hop on n hope for the best

[Chibby33]

DAY 2 of NC: Here was my final text to him - responding to his "Thank you for all you've done for me" text.

 

"You're welcome and no problem because we were responsible for each other. Although I am extremely sad that I lost the man I love, at the end of the day I look around at what I have (house, car, family, friends, excellent job) and well I really didnt lose anything but perhaps gained peace. Yes I am sad but with everything else, this too shall pass. I hope you find your happiness with someone down at your level. Take care."

[sfindependent]

im finally joining in... ugh. much as i hate to do so. i have to

[Chibby33]

TO ALL NC-ers!! YOU ALL HAVE THE POWER TO REMAIN NC!! Find it, pray for it, and please do not ignore it but cherish it and use it to resist the urge. Focus on FULL RECOVERY!

[blemished]

Where is everybody? Either everyone is having a real easy time with NC, or they've given up! What happened to all the people who were doing NC like 40, 50+ days ago? Why all new people? Who here has kept their NC for a long time, like Fif?

 

I'm on 57. At one point, I was behind a lot of posters on this thread.

 

I finished with the "angry" stage, now I am in the full acceptance (not just partial) stage, and I think this is finally the end of it. All that will be left for the rest of awareness, are bittersweet memories. It was just something that went on for too long, that was good only in the beginning and a learning experience for me.

[fifregister]

hi blemished,

 

i'm still here....Day 115...

 

ex has been attempting to contact me (5 times in a week now) and i still haven't replied. it's beginning to frustrate me tho; i wish he would stop..

 

Day 57...wow, great job! it sounds that you're in great shape and on your way to being properly healed. be careful though...sometimes our minds play tricks on us. i still catch myself in moments where my eyes start to water when a memory trigger comes up..

[Captain34]

42 days

 

what do you all believe to be subtle signals from your ex that they want to end NC?

[blender]

I don't know your situation...

 

If your ex is the "dumper" and you are the one who was hurt, than as far as I'm concerned they have to "take the risk" and make the "effort' to directly state an intention on thier behave to want to "try again".. for me anything less is "nothing".. subtle or not, mixed signal or not..

 

don't risk your heart again, UNLESS You are sure you can handle that it might just be "curiosity" on the exes part and once you have contact they start the rejection again...

 

but as far as subtle signals, I don't believe in "subtle" coming from the person who made the choice to leave in the first place....for me the ex would have to be clear about what he wants, before I'd risk my heart again with someone who once made a choice to break it...

[blemished]

I am glad to hear some of my fellow NC'ers are still out there! I see that Majora and the poster with the orange pool (sorry I forget the name) have reunited with their ex's at least on a platonic level. I think it would be interesting to follow the course of the regular posters on this thread.

 

Day 59. 9 more days, Fif! (Fif, I posted on your other thread re: your situation.)

 

I still carry around a lot of baggage from this relationship, more than I'd like to admit. I feel angry, unable to trust, betrayed so desolate, and sad. But, I don't mourn for the ex, and I am starting to get over despising him (although objectively, I know he is an * * * * * * * and a scumbag).

 

I guess it's a long haul. I hope I meet someone better next time, if I can trust again.

 

I have not noticed much "progress" lately but maybe that is because once the initial grief passes, healing is slow.

[notanymore]

am back after an year .the NC bandwagon thread stopped in september.however let me tell you that its been since last april that i hve not communicated to my ex. can't say if i ve got out of it.priorities may have changed life is at a different stage, but still in some remote corner my heart still bleeds for that heartless person...for all those practicing NC, it helps....relapses may happen , but hang on, life becomes better...bless u

[Coyote9]

Glad to hear an update notanymore, as I often wonder over the longer term (years) how people come out of this stuff. Day 101 for me. I still experience the heart bleeding for my ex, but I have become much better at talking myself through those tough spots and even having some fun with it...as no way she deserves this sort of attention months after the breakup. I don't plan ony relapses either! Thanks for updating your post, it helps to put these broken relationships in perspective, as there's so much more to us and our lives than the few months or years that we are involved in these difficult situations. I'm curious if you've had any new serious relationships since this one that brought you here and how that's factor into things for you.

 

Coyote

[notanymore]

Glad to hear an update notanymore, as I often wonder over the longer term (years) how people come out of this stuff. Day 101 for me. I still experience the heart bleeding for my ex, but I have become much better at talking myself through those tough spots and even having some fun with it...as no way she deserves this sort of attention months after the breakup. I don't plan ony relapses either! Thanks for updating your post, it helps to put these broken relationships in perspective, as there's so much more to us and our lives than the few months or years that we are involved in these difficult situations. I'm curious if you've had any new serious relationships since this one that brought you here and how that's factor into things for you.

 

Coyote

 

let me update on wht i ve been upto in the past year....can't say if ending of the relationship was a blessing in disguise...i ve been learning Salsa, obtained a Scuba diving lisense, been on a 6 month globetrotting adventure, something i could never have imagined had i still been by her side.....shes in a different city now and has sent me mails, the last one a few months ago, no reply from my side....the reason i came back to this forum and my thread was the fact that i saw her pic at a party on my friend's webpage...a relapse, u may say, but not for long, it brought me back to the one place which help me move ahead and all te wonderful people who came to help me during my dark times,

i was briefly involved with another girl but it was a rebound for both of us and things could not proceed due to conflict in motives....still single but not looking as of now...need to have a purpose in life first...wud like to add that NC works, it does for many other people on this thread...cheers

[gracipoo]

almost 2 months... i miss him so much

[Langeveldt]

Day three.. A rainy Sunday in Cape Town but fortunatly I have a bit going on. Going for a casual coffee date with a very nice girl I met in a bar last week. Thinking about the ex constantly, but if I keep myself busy its not so painful. Trying not to let the mind wander.

[dmarie86]

i'll jump on! this is day 2 for me.

woke up feeling rubbish with him being the first thing on my mind as usual, seems to be sleep is like a re-set button and i need to build up my emotional wall from the start everyday, it always takes awhile for me to get going.

Find it hard to snap out of today, but made myself go for a run after lunch - something i know i need to do more often - and it helps pick me up.

Sunday night weekly dinner party is happening today at our house so it proves a brilliant distraction, i actually feel good and happy about the future, i know im in a good place with good people and feel positive its only a matter of time before i find my own feet.

The sneaky thought crosses my mind - but what about him and all the horrible thoughts and memories you've been stuck on lately - almost like my mind is trying to pull me back into being sad, but its a miracle! i feel myself thinking stuff it! i don't want to think about it, i don't want to dwell on him anymore, so for the first time in two months i don't. i actually let myself enjoy the company i'm with and genuinely feel good about it - i have fun!

if only for a few hours, but im glad, i feel this is start of something, hopefully i can try and hold onto it until bed time so i can sleep easy, but we'll see

[Langeveldt]

Agreed, we at similar stages hey.. You are going about things in a good way, good luck

[dmarie86]

Day 4. The first half of today was horrible, got up and started the day with a hiss and a roar ready to keep busy bit despite my intentions I felt so sad, I missed him so much, still obsessed with the feeling that if only I had a second chance things would be different and that I pushed him away... Maybe there is some truth in this but it's not the whole story, I need to remember this. Either way it doesnt matter, he has moved on, there is no second chance. The afternoon was better, helped out my cousin and skyped an old friend, he made me forget my troubles, for that hour I didnt think of the ex at all. He commented I looked happy and he was glad to.see me smiling, ha if only he knew! But it did make me feel good, at least I know it's possible