NC Bandwagon 2, hop on n hope for the best

[Silentlyfor]

Nc 41... feel slightly worse today. Now that I've finally realized that the relationship was abusive... I'm really depressed. How can one person treat another so badly.

[blemished]

Day 25. I have accepted I will never speak to him again. After years together, after having a best friend and lover, there is now nothing. You know, nothing else in the universe is quite like a breakup-- it defies the laws of Physics, since where once there was something, now there is nothing.

 

It makes me sad, thinking about him living his life as a stranger to mine. But at least now I know I must endure that sadness alone.

[Majoraslayer]

Day 33. Yet another dream about her stole away sleep. I just hope I can use my day off to rest and make up for it >_<.>

[LONESOUL]

Day 17 for me...feeling a little low..from the few posts before me seems to be

going around today. I'm going to try to refocus on something else to get

through this little funk patch...I hope it works.

[Silentlyfor]

Nc day 42. Best day of my life so far. Going to move out. Feelin' fine and I've hardly thought of that for the whole day so far.

[Majoraslayer]

Day 34. I don't really feel bad, and I don't really feel good. Its exactly in the middle, so now I have the opportunity to feel good.

[NCTuskie]

Day 30 since the last time we had any communication (2 months post breakup). I had a dream last that she was getting married to some other guy. It was a small ceremony about five people there that i can remember... and I was the Best Man. As soon as she walked in, she ran away crying. I laughed and patted the groom on the back, told him it would be alright.

 

Usually I don't have "haunting" dreams that reflect my "awake" life. I've dreamt about my ex twice in the two months since we've been broken up. Wonder what this means.

[blemished]

Why do you think there are 4 deleted posts on this thread?

 

Today marks 1 month by the way (4 Sundays). And I am starting to feel better.

[tobetterdays]

Why do you think there are 4 deleted posts on this thread?

 

Today marks 1 month by the way (4 Sundays). And I am starting to feel better.

 

today is 1 month for me as well.

def. feel better than i did one month ago, although im still a long ways away from normal.

[Majoraslayer]

NC Day 35. I just typed up an explanation of how my personality has went through roughly three MAJOR changes in the past 4 years of my life, and in my explanation I trailed off into a realization of just how terribly she treated me. I was in an emotionally abusive relationship, and I'm glad I can realize that again. Getting back with her may not have been such a bad thing; last time I lost her I realized all these things. Over time I forgot about them again, but in the time we were together again I used my realization to keep her from doing the same things. I'm actually glad I got the chance to relive the same stuff and apply my personal changes and stand up for myself. Things didn't go so well for her I guess; she didn't have the beaten down dog she originally did, so losing her was inevitable.

 

At this moment right now, I'm truly glad she's gone. I feel.....happy. She's someone else's problem now!

[LONESOUL]

The weekend was kinda rough, but I have had worse. I am pretty sure my ex tred to call me Saturday night (she restricts her number...but she is the only one who ever does that...and then she calls back to back...for about an hour, some things never change.) I didn't answer it. I don't have to answer it anymore. I don't have to hurt becuase of something she says and I don't have to find out that all she is calling for is to find out where I left something,

like a hammer...or my heart or something. I don't have to be yelled at either.

Nc for 20 days now...I have up and I have downs, but NC helps.

[Silentlyfor]

Day Nc... uh.... 44? 43?... I'll say 43. Still have trouble hearing her or her boyfriend's name without wincing and holding her stomache... so I called her and told her about it...

 

Just kidding. No, it's still affecting me though... but man... I'm glad to be without her.

[Majoraslayer]

NC Day 36.

 

I hit yet another bump in the road to recovery. For the most part it seems I'm able to go on about my business alright, but when I get sexually aroused the first thing I think of is her. This brings up the thoughts of how she's now doing these things with HIM, and more frequently so considering they live together and we never had anywhere to go for privacy. So much for my sexual abilities

[LONESOUL]

Day 21 today. 3 weeks. She has called a few times, Saturday night, and I think yesterday at work, she hung up when I answered. I'm okay I think. I get

pretty low sometimes. It's such a huge change. My home, my family. But it's

hardly ever "horrible horrible anymore" once, every three or so days. HEY! Thats an improvement. I miss them, but I do not miss the drama and I do not miss being used. Well, day 21 like I said, so here we go...

[Silentlyfor]

NC day 44.... Relapse.... I wanted to die yesterday. Almost tried.... called a distress line... I'm now very depressed.

 

I think I was made just to be alone. Nobody desires me.

[hulk7280]

day 2 everyone. nice to see im not the only person going through this bs

[blemished]

Day 29. So, only 39 more days until I hit Fif's 68! *(Edited to add: I actually don't know the exact date I started counting from (or I can't do simple math), so I pushed it to Day 1 on Aug. 1st since I know I have not spoken to him this month.)

 

I am feelin' GOOD! I have assumed a negative view of the ex, who I wasted a lot of time with (ie I have also assumed a negative view of the relationship). I feel no empathy for him or interest in him, despite and perhaps partially due to the recent pain he caused me. I am disassociated from our time together and regard it with distaste because I have chosen to not recall it. I don't think about him as much any more. At the rare times when I miss him or think of him fondly, I remind myself that missing a person does not mean you should be with them. His treatment of me was shabby enough for me to not really miss him, anyway. I am better than that. (In fact, I am better than even acknowledging our relationship meant much to me, and I deserve a better person than him. L-O-S-E-R!)

I see my ex as a weak and empty person. I am happy to be single and I look forward to new experiences with or without other people. I have not started thinking about dating again; I think relationships are a lot of work and I'm not interested in working for that right now, but at least I'm not down in the dirt crying any more for what was lost. Good riddance!

[Majoraslayer]

NC Day 38. I'm feeling pretty good, seeing as how I finally got a few days in a row off from work. Now I can spend some time alone doing the things I enjoy, and with the money I saved from not having to take my ex to work and constantly kissing her large fat * * * I was able to pay off all my debt.

 

Singleness FTW.

[LONESOUL]

day 22, I feel a little weird today. Numb maybe, but I know the emotions are right there, under the fog. I can feel them trying to push there way out~this

usually means there is a sad day coming. We'll see. I'm stuck at the point where I am pissed at her for not calling (actually she has a few times, but I didn't answer) and so darn glad she doesn't. (much) Thats strange all in itself. Whats that all about? I don't want to talk to her at all. Oh sure the part of me that still thinks of us together does, but that part of me is slowly fading, THANK GOODNESS~because the rest of me KNOWS I

am so much better off without her. This whole process wears me out...

but I thought about something yesterday at some point, I noticed She and her son are not my very FIRST thoughts in the morning anymore. HEY, thats something!

[hulk7280]

day 3 baby!! on the road to recovery i can feel it! this morning i hurt a little bit.. just thinkin of my ex with that guy really hurts, but im getting better everyday the real test will come when my ex contacts me.. which she will

[Silentlyfor]

Day NC 46. Now I feel fine. Realizing that it's alright to be alone and be single. It's awesome. I still cry... alot... but... that's the only way I'm going to heal.

[starwisher]

I have no problem with NC, I also changed my phone # so I don't have to wonder if he is trying to contact me and that helped me a lot.

My problem is that I have dreams every night with visions of him rejecting me over and over again. I guess NC is a problem for my subconscious mind. Hopefully time will make the dreams fade away.

[Majoraslayer]

Day 39. I think I'd like to shop around for another date soon. Sitting around doing nothing gets boring after awhile, and my anger at my ex has subsided to the point that I no longer care what she does so long as she isn't bothering me. I have no intention of EVER breaking NC, and seeing as how she is engaged to someone else now I doubt she does either.

[Silentlyfor]

Still somewhat depressed. I don't care what NC day it is. This just plain sucks.

[LONESOUL]

Day 23, not too bad I guess. I'm a little pissed today. I think I am doing that whole "how the h*ll could she have treated me like this after all I did for her and knowing how much I loved her and that I would have walked throguh fire"...blah blah... Oh HELLLLO ..R e a l i t y here, she did it, and after I left,

there is a pretty good chance she is NOT sitting around wondering what the H*CK I am doin, thats for sure. Used. It is what it is. Used. My mission (should I choose to accept it...lol) To accept fully what happened to me, to know it wasn't my fault and to move on with my life!! okay, I accept. Maybe

the rest of the day will be better, I am hoping for that...it's raining here, so

I am looking at it as a cleansing.