NC Bandwagon 2, hop on n hope for the best

[bluegal79]

Hugs Lonesoul!

 

I felt like that all day yesterday. Why do I hurt and how could he just walk away and erase me from his life? I felt like such a fool for believing everything he ever told me.

 

She didn't deserve your love!

[LONESOUL]

Thank you Bluegal79. This feeling really sucks. Its very immature~

I am resentful, angry and bitter today. Crap . These cycles go on and on...!

Oh lets just face it, the whole freaking thing just really sucks. I need a time

machine, I'm glad I don't have on though because I fear I would go back

instead of forward like a dumb dumb. I loved her very much, she didn't deserve it then, and she d*mn sure doesn't deserve it now!! Okay, I am due for a good day...

[Silentlyfor]

Thank you Bluegal79. This feeling really sucks. Its very immature~

I am resentful, angry and bitter today. Crap . These cycles go on and on...!

Oh lets just face it, the whole freaking thing just really sucks. I need a time

machine, I'm glad I don't have on though because I fear I would go back

instead of forward like a dumb dumb. I loved her very much, she didn't deserve it then, and she d*mn sure doesn't deserve it now!! Okay, I am due for a good day...

 

That's why you're here man. Being the end my first relationship, you should have seen the morose and obviously purile things I've said about my ex. Now I'm a passionate person, which I knew that didn't excuse me, but I know I would not have AT ALL moved on if I didn't get some of my more reprehensible thoughts out in the open.

 

You need to get all of that out, otherwise the wound festers and it doesn't heal. Personally, I'm not too ashamed... I just felt really hurt and I reacted to every emotion I had. First gf, lover, relationship and ex all in one for me. I knew that some of what I did was terribly wrong and regretful to some degree. However, I knew I couldn't grow as a human being without allowing myself to pout, moan, * * * * *, scream, and cry bloody murder at least once out of the pain of losing the one you love. It's nothing to be ashamed of... just don't do anything based on pure emotion that you'll regret. You'll understand that you couldn't live without this experience.

[LONESOUL]

Hey Redmage22, thanks. I did allot of thinking yesterday, and I spent some

time talking to a friend who just let me talk, and get mad, and even cry.

She said I needed to forgive myself for staying in that messed up relationship

for so long, because I am angry at myself. She's right. I need to forgive me,

it wasn't my fault, I just loved her~nothing more, nothing less. I wanted to make it work. She didn't, she wanted someone to use. These things happen. It happened to me. I am working on accepting that now.

[blemished]

Day 44. You know what really pisses me off? A lot of things, but one is that my ex occasionally sends me forwards. He never felt the urge to send me forwards during the years we spent together and were actually a part of each other's lives-- but now he does? Are these things more a way to remind someone that you still exist, than a friendly sharing of information? I think so. It's a little note which, in a subtle way, says "Just reminding you that I am out there, somewhere." Jerk.

[Silentlyfor]

Again NC Day "Who gives a * * * *". Glad it's over, just some residual grief. One month more, especially with this new girl, I hope, and this will become nothing more than a memory.

[LONESOUL]

Still pissed today. Not really dwelling on her too much, though it's

more a fleeting negitive thought, strong though, I sure know the

feeling is there. Ahhh, what I would give to arrive at sweet indifference.

Who knows how longs its been, (nc break up, whatever) I'm going to

work on me today~I am so very tired of wasting precious life for someone

who could care less. That is why we are not together in the first place.

[freelove]

Day 22

 

Since day 1, I have woken everyday and out loud have said how much I appreciate what I have in my life ie. work, family, friends, health. I tell myself what an amazing day I will have.

 

Everyday has been amazing...not to say I don't hurt at times, but that is the wonderful process of learning more about me and what I have to offer.

 

I feel blessed to be in this situation to reflect on all the lessons life has thrown me in the past 2 years.

 

We are growing folk...this is part of the process.

[LONESOUL]

I am feeling a little more positive today. I am proud of myself for making

it through this so far and for maintaining what was left of my dignitity...

which I am finding out, is a allot more intact then I thought.

[ozomega]

Hi I'm new to this thread and on day 3 of NC!

Just want to say I've found this thread inspiring.

It's difficult to maintain NC because every day that goes by with

No Contact just reinforces that I mean nothing to her. Why should

I be the one who is always initiating contact? Like someone said, why

contact someone who doesn't want to hear from you anyway?

 

These and other ideas from this thread help me keep strong and committed

to maintaining NC. Thank you so much!

 

My only fear is what will happen if she eventually contacts me...to reply or not to reply? I think I probably will reply eventually if she initiates contact.

But not immediately, and not til I've passed the idea by you guys on this thread...

[blemished]

46

 

It doesn't really matter how many days pass, since I have no plan to speak with him again (so I am not really counting anything, just keeping track of an ever-increasing number). The only thing left to deal with is the lingering emptiness. I don't wish for a replacement, and I don't wish for him (since I know it's over)...so there's just this lingering emptiness, nothing where once there was something. It's not so bad, mostly because it is like scraping something off and I find the underside is the same-- I was single before, too.

[LONESOUL]

Life is going on without her. I honestly didn't think it would~

I miss her, but it is getting better. I kept myself very busy this weekend, and

am forcing myself to think of other things. I am healing, it's a process, everyone is so right.

[The Crying Pony]

Hi, what is NC? You got me all intrigued and now I want to be part of it! Im new to this site so I'm a bit lost. All I know is that I'm hurting like all hell and I need to move on with my life!

[Lealing]

Hi, what is NC? You got me all intrigued and now I want to be part of it! Im new to this site so I'm a bit lost. All I know is that I'm hurting like all hell and I need to move on with my life!

 

NC = No Contact

[Ellie2006]

I'm starting NC today with a guy I've been dating for four months. He doesn't appreciate me, he will never commit to me, and he doesn't have a clue how to treat a woman.

 

Today is my birthday and he hasn't bothered to contact me. I'm very hurt and disappointed. I hope I will be able to do this. Thanks all!

 

Happy B-day Jazzgirl! Feel better! And please know that we're all rooting for you here!

[tkrob]

OMG, I feel your pain!!! I'm there!

[The Crying Pony]

Jazzgirl, happy happy birthday! Doesn't his *&^$@#@$%^!! attitude tell you that NC is the best way to go??

 

My ex was just as insensitive and I stood up and said: "He won't get no SATISFACTION!!!" Poor bugger, I just keep reminding myself that he has no breeding. No matter how upset (you) or twisted (him) you are, always do the classy thing!! Keep your dignity.

 

Good luck and kkep that NC going!

[jazzgirrl]

Thanks Crying Pony! You are right, I must keep my dignity...no matter what. Day 2 and I'm feeling OK right now but I'm sure it will get harder to cope as the day goes on.

[blackberry]

i'm on the bandwagon...would have been before if not for a few cases of relapse, but I'm getting there...

 

sometimes, thing just aren't meant to be...the timing, the people, the situation...

[fifregister]

blemished - the emptiness sucks, i know. hang in there my friend. you're doing so well! yeah the ex will try to make little efforts at being in your life. be strong.

 

Day..gosh...i hardly remember...Day 108 of absolute NC. The EX texted me twice yesterday asking me to grab some dinner at our old favorite restaurant. He then called once, but didn't leave a message. I absolutely gave no reply. Not sure what his intentions are. I really am not ready to be friends. Besides, it's kind of pointless. His half-hearted attempt at contact made me a little pensive and sad...other than that, no real hope, no joy, no nothing...

[blender]

"fifregister" good for YOU... it doesn't matter what his intentions are, if they are truly meaningful he will call or write and CLEARLY state his intentions, and WHY HE WANTS TO SEE YOU, any other lame attempts of "hey let's get together" do NOT respond, not when you are still vulnerable and NOT ready to be "just friends". read my first posts on this site, when my ex contacted me..

 

the title of both threads, by "blender":

 

thread one: "How should I respond after he's contacted me?"

 

thread two: "feeling regret for not responding, help!"

[LONESOUL]

Yesterday may have been the strangest day since the break up. I feel okay though. My ex broke NC, by calling me about something I did need to know about~and I ended up needed to go to the house last night, but it actaully

went fine. I feel okay~a little strange today, I'm not sure I can put it all in words but so far I am okay, it was nice to see them but I really don't feel "put

back" any in my road to recovery~ I feel like I turned just another page and our break up was so bad, it was so nice just to be civil. She called me when I left, I think it threw her off guard (that we were okay) anyway..I know I have made some progress in my healing. And I allowed myself to feel that it was okay to miss her, without wanting to go back.

[jazzgirrl]

Day 3...it's so difficult. He hurt me so badly and I want to pick up the phone or text and ask him "why?" I know it's him and not me...and I was always the one to work on the relationship...but it's not easy to see past this pain. I miss him.

[blemished]

For all of you who are struggling with the pain of losing someone with whom you once shared something meaningful (or so you thought) -- HANG IN THERE!!! Not only does the pain go away, but you'll be more ready to not repeat the same mistakes, and meet a more suitable person next time.

 

I am on Day 52 NC and not only do I not miss the ex 98% of the time, I also do not think about him as much. Best of all, the "emptiness" is being replaced by an excitement to meet NEW people. Of course, I may not meet Mr. Right right now, but I am excited to be talking to potential dates and really, really hopeful to meet someone I like. In other words, I have no thoughts in the back of my mind about still wanting my ex over a potential new person. I am happy to meet someone new and I hope that if I found someone I liked, our relationship could be BETTER than the one with my ex.

 

Fif:

Thanks for your words of encouragement. I haven't felt angry/down since I last wrote, and I have reason to believe I will continue to feel better each day. Talking to my ex is not even in my vocabulary now. I am glad to see it is not in yours, either.

While I am on the fence regarding if the end of our relationship was "inevitable" or not, I know that my ex mistreated me and that is why I will never talk to him again. I don't know your whole story, but the point is, he's no longer a part of your life. Hold up high that 100+ NC flag!

[life_of_ai]

Why did all this happen to me? I never cheated on her, I always treated her the best I could. I know I couldn't always buy her things, I'm paying out-of-state tuition. The reason why I'm even at this school is because of her. I moved 1000 miles away from home for her. Why did she leave me? I didn't deserve it. If anything, I should have left her. She didn't treat me as good as she should have.

 

Why does it turn out that I was the better person, but then she leaves me. She was my only friend, my best friends. But now shes gone. I've realized that we're probably never going to get back together. I didn't think I would love her, but I do, ALOT. She is honestly one of the "people" for me. I know there are more but it hurts to lose one.

 

Now she left me and it seems like she is better off now. Shes got her new b/f (2 weeks after she broke up with me). Shes got her new friends now, and I'm left stranded. I've gone to the gym, I've tried to meet new people, I'm really trying but I've just been feeling bad for almost 6 months now.

 

I'm really trying. I don't want to go thru this no more. I want to be her friend, but its just hard. I tried NC, and I start to miss her. She use to call me every other day, but now shes not calling me no more. I didn't answer the phone but I like that she was thinking of me and I'd just hold the phone in my hand knowing shes thinking of me.

 

I've lost my best friend of 5 years. I really do miss her, as a friend and as a g/f. I enjoyed my life with her alot. I was truly happy. But now I just feel empty. I want to be able to hold someone. I want to have someone to say goodnite to at night over the phone. But now shes doing that to her new b/f.

 

I'm just hoping that one day she'll call me and apologize for everything. I want to be friends with her, but it hurts. By not hanging out with her, it hurts. Don't get me wrong, I've only seen her like 4 times this month, some very briefly. It hurts because this was the person I loved and now I dont see her or talk to her at all. You have to understand it was like that for almost 4 years. I guess I"m going to say it again, I truly loved her. I know I'm young and will meet more people, but thats something that I need to work on. I'm really trying. I'm really a good person, but I feel like I'm being given the physical, mental, and emotional pain like I'm a really bad person.