NC Bandwagon 2, hop on n hope for the best

[Psylocke960]

Hey everyone! Going on 19 days today and still NC. Doing good for the most part but today is one of those days where I'm just irritated. I found out that he's been talking to his ex (well, the one before me) even before we broke up. It hurt at first because he basically lied to me and I just felt betrayed. But you know what? I'm not going to let this bring me down. I'm going to continue NC and move on ahead. Honestly at this point, he's not worth crying for anymore. I do still think about him but as I mentioned, it's an irritated feeling.

 

Hope you're all doing well today!

[mikeca]

even though i had to goto her work today I still feel good. I was debating going in but it needed to be done. I wasn't gonna let her or my feelings for her mess up my career planning. IT actually wasnt as bad as I thought.

[alteer]

Hi all

 

Feeling much better today.......

 

Psylocke I like what you said about your ex - "that he's not worth crying for anymore" - this is what I decided when I woke up this morning. I'm not going to waste my time crying over someone who doesn't want to be with me. I'm better than that.

 

So today I deleted and blocked him on msn. I deleted his numbers from my phones. I got rid of his contact details in all my address books. So now I'm back to strict NC, no excuses. It's time I took care of ME. And I do wish to thank everyone for making me see that (especially notanymore, Romi and Psyclocke)......sometimes I need to be hit over the head a few times.

 

I have a knew mantra that I have been repeating all day - "I love me and I love my life."

 

And I also realised that my ex is a great big jerk who lost not only one person that loved him - but he lost three!! - my kids loved him too.

 

So screw him....his loss....

 

Oh and notanymore, I"m smiling, and it's not the crappy fake one, it's real !!

 

(((hugs)))

[notanymore]

screw her

continuing from where alteer left i m doing great today,i feel like i ve turned a new page, that pang of pain is no longer there, guess i m healing.talked to a very close friend,he had talked to her recently and wanted me in on it and i snapped back " i dont want to know anything about her" to hell with her .NC rules.had he told me about her i d have gone back to dreaming, giving myself these false hopes.no i m not. i am getting out of this one way or another.

 

 

cleaned my place today and destroyed a lot of stuff which would make her remind me of her,when i had come to this city for my internship i brought a few things to remind me of her,we had broken off 3 weeks prior to that, and her last words maybe things will work out was all i was hanging by.

i ve stopped clinging on to things .

 

and yes she s already off all my messenger lists. and my phone as well.

 

i guess i ve ranted enough,

sticking to my guns ,go with NC, i m benefiting from it, it ll help u heal as well.well this almost made me sound like a salesman for NC

 

big deal!!!

 

cheers to all, have a great day fellow NCers

[pablovblack]

Day 15

The tears are beggining to subside, usually once every few days now, I went away for the weekend and it felt good being in a different place where there was not a single memory, When I got home I saw her car at her place of work, totally upset me. Then I thought I would see if I could see her leaving work, spying if you like (I know its bad), just to see how I would feel when I saw her. I wanted to know how I would react so I truly guage my progress...

Well It was quite saddening but not as bad as I thought it would be, which must mean I'm getting better.

Still got all her stuff in a box to give her back so although I'm blocking her out with NC I know at the back of my mind I have to go see her at some point and return her stuff... Now that will be emotional... I'm actually terrified of facing her, I bet it will be like being struck by lightning.

 

Onwards and upwards.

[notanymore]

hey pablovblack

way to go man. glad to know u r healing

 

why are u terrified of facing her. dont ruin it for urself.u have the strength to achive lots in ur life, let alone face her, which is not that big a deal. dont put her on a pedestral,rather put urself on one.

 

if u attach importance to the meeting and orchestrate it as a big once in a year showdown it ll hurt u.i d say why are u making her that important for urself.stay strong a keep it short.i hope i did not offend u in anyway.have faith in yourself mate.u ll do just fine.cheers

 

Onwards and upwards

[pablovblack]

hey pablovblack

way to go man. glad to know u r healing

 

why are u terrified of facing her. dont ruin it for urself.u have the strength to achive lots in ur life, let alone face her, which is not that big a deal. dont put her on a pedestral,rather put urself on one.

 

if u attach importance to the meeting and orchestrate it as a big once in a year showdown it ll hurt u.i d say why are u making her that important for urself.stay strong a keep it short.i hope i did not offend u in anyway.have faith in yourself mate.u ll do just fine.cheers

 

Onwards and upwards

 

Yeah your right notanymore, I think thats what I'm doing, convincing myself that shes super human. Its just that seeing her face I think will send my backwards no matter how "better" I feel. It might be an idea to just leave her stuff on her doorstep, what you think?

[Romi]

Wow I'm so happy to see that almost everyone here are getting better.

 

It's day 21 for me. Last night I got sleep in tears. I'm feeling pretty lonely. Yesterday it wasn't a good day for me. The good news is that yesterday I bought a new car. I used part of the money that I had to buy a house with my ex to buy a car for me. Also I was going to buy the same model he have, but I decided not to. It remind me a lot about him and I don't want to feel sad everytime I get into my car...

 

Pablo, glad to see you back. I also have some things in my ex house, but I'm sending a friend to get them back. Not now, maybe in a few months when I feel ready. I don't want to see my ex ever again! Strict NC.

 

He is off from my messenger lists and my phone too.

 

Hugs, Romi

[Psylocke960]

I'm feeling better much better myself today as well. Although I only had about 4 hours of sleep, I felt like I just had this surge of energy when I got up. I told myself, "I'm a good person with a good heart. It's too bad he lost out on someone who was loyal, faithful and 100% loving." Yes, this was someone I loved dearly and would have done anything for but as you stated alteer: Screw him...his loss!!

 

I'm very proud of you! I know you can do it!

[kickedwhereithurts]

Well looks like im on the "doin good bandwagon" also.

Not been posting here unless I was feeling down, its been a strange past week. went away with "the lads" for a typicaly "blokey" weekend, Saturday night ended up just being two of us around camp fire, and I ended up pouring my heart out to my friend until 3.30am, like think my tears put the fire out!!....got it all out of my system. Next day was great.

Been talking to someone from here privately and had much inspiration, think I am at 2 weeks of NC since I last broke contact, but 2 months from our split.

 

Anyway, decided to take what advice applies to my own situation from this site but still do what I felt I needed to do, and I broke NC again today.

I needed to confrim things to myself in order to move on, quite frankly, I am sick of the time this has taken to get over and she really has been proving she is not worth it, but you know how it is, if time is such a great healer, then maybe they are healing too, etc

 

So I sent her a msg today about work stuff for her, it required a reply, but got ignored again....this I expected, and I initially sent the message in order to be able to send my final message telling her how crap she has been throughout our split, showing no compassion or civility, etc, in a "very very nice mature way" of course!

I got to a point of thinking, stuff what she thinks now, this is MY time and MY feelings, if she cant accept the truth slapping her in the face, then I wont lose any sleep over it, I never did anything wrong other than falling in love with her, we had no problems, she 180'd out of the blue and then went on to ignore me for no reason, just further hurting me.....she has shown no understanding or respect for my feelings throughout this, I needed to keep seeing it for it to finally sink in with me....tonight I saw it, after ignoring both messages I sent to her.

I dont regret it one bit, I dont regret breaking NC a few times either, its what I needed to do to personally move on, its not the same for everyone but it helped me.

Now she has again ignored me, its been the straw that broke the camels back, I've finally deleted all her messages.

This is ME time now, rebuild and get back to it all, she has proved time and time again she is low life, I have been fighting to actually see her true colours, maybe because I was ashamed I got suckerd into her lies and feelings, always making excuses for how she was being, well, the rose tinted glasses are now off and she was being a selfish cold hearted uncaring * * * * *, someone who I do not wish to be associated with, I keep better company than that.

 

Its time for me to move on and I'm afraid that means not frequenting this place as it only brings me down (I hope you can all understand that)

I need to remain focused and positive and the only way I have of doing that is by now cutting all ties.

So I wish you all well and thank each and every one of you for posting, everything, no matter how big or small, has helped me in a little way and for that I am greatfull.

Godspeed to all of you and do not give up, things DO get better with time (the greatest cliche of all time but the truest)

[mikeca]

printed out another resume today, dont think I even looked at her the whole time we were in the same room.

[alteer]

Well another day gone. I'm not counting the days anymore, I'm just taking this from one day to the next.

 

I'm still smiling!!

 

Planning a holiday (curtesy of my boss.....all expenses paid......just for being in the job 12 months) yipeeeee! And I"m determined to have a ball with my kids. It will be a much needed break.

 

I'm glad to see most of the bandwagon has improved.

 

Here are a couple of things to remember:

 

Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood

 

And life is what we make it, always has been, always will be.

 

WE are the better people. WE deserve the best. TOGETHER we are getting through this.

 

Here's to the bandwagon!! Smile!!

[Psylocke960]

Not doing good today at all. Basically, I was talking to a coworker today who's on the other end of the spectrum regarding relationships. Her and her boyfriend just got an apartment together so of course she was giddy, jumping around for joy. I told her I was very happy for her but then all of a sudden, I had a flashback of my ex and I when we first got our apartment. I couldn't hold back the tears. Just recollecting and thinking of how happy we were at the time since it was one of the highlights in our relationship. So I knew exactly how my coworker was feeling. I guess I was wishing that I would do anything to go back to that moment of happiness. And then to have reality hit me again that he's gone and never coming back. I was doing so well the past few days too.

 

I hope you're all doing better than me.

[notanymore]

Psylocke

its all cyclical,you do good for a few days and then its back to the dumps, but have faith in yourself, you ll come out of it, as you heal the bad phases will become less and less frequent.just have faith in yourself and tell yourself whatever has happened is for your own good.after the past few days of high spirits, i m down since yesterday night,the only thing thts holding me on is my faith that its for my own good,something great will certainly come out of it.cheer up. paste a plastic smile on your face, it ll become a real smile before you realise, hang in there, you ll do just fine. cheers

[Psylocke960]

Psylocke

its all cyclical,you do good for a few days and then its back to the dumps, but have faith in yourself, you ll come out of it, as you heal the bad phases will become less and less frequent.just have faith in yourself and tell yourself whatever has happened is for your own good.after the past few days of high spirits, i m down since yesterday night,the only thing thts holding me on is my faith that its for my own good,something great will certainly come out of it.cheer up. paste a plastic smile on your face, it ll become a real smile before you realise, hang in there, you ll do just fine. cheers

 

Thanks notanymore...You're right. I do need to have more faith in myself. Just down in the dumps and feeling sort of empty today since the conversation with the coworker. I will try to do better tomorrow and try to put on that smile.

 

Sorry you're feeling down also but I know we'll do better with time.

[notanymore]

dear Psylocke

we sure will do much much better

keep that smile on,its magical. trust me

have a great day

[pablovblack]

Day 17

Oh man, one minute its ok then the next its hard...

Had a dream last night that she had moved on and found a new guy, who turned out to be one of my old school friends >?, Then woke up and fealt like complete crap.. Was just about to text her saying that its been 2 months since our last kiss (which happens to be one of the best kisses we ever had) and that I love and miss her.. I didnt do this in the end... But damn did I want to, I still do now.... Its wrong!! right???

[serenity25]

Yes pablov, don't send that text. You would just end up regretting it later. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing you are thinking about when your last kiss was or about her in that way at all. If she wanted to talk, she knows where to find you and you deserve so much better anyways.

 

Be strong. You are doing wonderful! We are here for you!

[pablovblack]

Yes pablov, don't send that text. You would just end up regretting it later. Don't give her the satisfaction of knowing you are thinking about when your last kiss was or about her in that way at all. If she wanted to talk, she knows where to find you and you deserve so much better anyways.

 

Be strong. You are doing wonderful! We are here for you!

Its been less than an hour and I already are thankful to the higher powers I never sent that text....

 

Listen guys, If your gonna break NC dont do it, Seriously......

You are throwing all the hard work away......... I nearly did....So close to pressing SEND............

 

Come on lets be strong, we can get through anything, we are great people with great futures ahead of us, Thanks everyone for the support....

 

Onwards and upwards...

[serenity25]

Its been less than an hour and I already are thankful to the higher powers I never sent that text....

 

Listen guys, If your gonna break NC dont do it, Seriously......

You are throwing all the hard work away......... I nearly did....So close to pressing SEND............

 

Come on lets be strong, we can get through anything, we are great people with great futures ahead of us, Thanks everyone for the support....

 

Onwards and upwards...

 

Awesome attitude! So glad you didn't send the text and very happy to hear you sounding so well. It's amazing how those moments pass and within hours you have a whole different perspective once again. I'd say to anyone, even if you are THINKING of contacting an ex, make yourself wait at least one day to do it and chances are by that time, you'll have changed your mind.

 

Seems like you are doing great at the moment pablov and I hope it only gets easier!

[notanymore]

hey pablovblack

great going mate. these moments will come.in ur case u just had a dream , my ex is already goin around with my friend(wonder why i still call him that) .

 

its just a momentary thought, u end up texting her and regret doing so when she does not respond, i mean she is not giving u the same importance by not thinking about u , then why do u do the same,

 

if she wants u she ll contact u.stop counting days and remembering events, ur thinking about them and feeling crappy about it wont make any difference to her. glad u held on, u are doing great, just hang in there, it ll be over soon, u ll be a new person,cheers mate.

[alteer]

Psylocke sorry to hear your feeling a bit down.

 

Remember what notanymore said about cycles. One day your feeling fine and thinking your ok and the next the world comes crashing down around you. It's normal.

 

I've had so many ups and downs that I've lost count. But you do come out of it and feel ok again.

 

It's really hard when you see other people's happiness and remember things about your ex. That's the part I'm having trouble with right now. But when I get that overwhelming feeling off loss, like I miss him more than I can stand, I just remember the pain he's caused me. That keeps me going.

 

we are all here for you. ((((hugs))))

[fifregister]

day 1 all over for me.

 

i've attempted this twice. each time nc lasted for a little over a week. one time he broke it, and one time i broke it.

 

maybe third time is a charm. it's been 2 months since the breakup and i'm still holding to on that last shred of hope. but he doesn't want to get back together. "at least not right now" he said.

 

i have to let go of that hope. it's now or never. he has let me go and i have to let him go.

 

my friends pulled me out of my office today and told me to cut connections, NOW. if they see that i'm hurting myself and they care for me, why couldn't i do the same for myself?

 

starting from day 1 for the third time is hard. feel as if i might fail again. feel like crap. afraid that i will hold on to this pain forever.

[alteer]

Hi fifregister

 

Letting go of hope is the hardest thing of all. I know, I held onto it for ages, and in some ways still do. But I've mostly come to terms that it's over and now that I have decided to give in and let him go, it all becomes a little easier to deal with.

 

It sounds as though you have some really good friends who are looking out for you. LISTEN to them. Others can normally see what we are doing to ourselves, even if we can't, our pain prevents us from moving forward. But we need to find a way of controlling that pain to help us move on. Surrender to it and let go.

 

Good luck with NC. Take it one day at a time.

 

(((hugs)))

[Roxari]

I haven't contaced him in 1 week. He contacted me Wednesday but I did not reply. DO NOT WANT to start over.