For the ladies... if a guy didn't want to have sex with you, would you wait?

[Lansing]

I always see threads about how girls think guys only want sex,etc,etc... Well, I am wondering, for the girls, if you are currently sexually active (or have been already) and you met a guy that didn't want to have sex until your relationship was developed or even until marriage, would you wait? Of course, there is still intimacy.. but, no intercourse... (I am not sure what the "official" line would be.... but, at minimum, no intercourse...)

 

EDIT: To clarify, he is sexually attracted to you. The reason why he wants to wait till marriage is because he feels like it is the ultimate bond between two people and thinks there needs to be an adequate balance in a relationship between all different areas (i.e. that it can't be just one based on strong physical attraction)...

[BellaDonna]

and you met a guy that didn't want to have sex until your relationship was developed or even until marriage

 

If their reason was a moral reason- like the kind you mentioned above- then I would wait.

 

If their reason was because they were unsure about me in general or not sexually attracted to me- then I would not wait.

 

BellaDonna

[kellbell]

That is a very good question. I have never been confronted with that kind of quandry so I have to think for second.

 

I do like to wait until I feel comfortable with the guy before I can have a sexual relationship with him. For me, fooling around, petting, etc is okay early on. Others may not be comfortable with it. But waiting for marriage...to be honest, I do not think I could wait. It would lead me to believe it would be for religious purposes (nothing wrong with that at all) but I am not a religious person so I do not feel we would be compatible in that sense. I cannot see any other reason why we should wait until marriage. But that is just me. So, in saying that, I would probably decide that he is not the one for me and end the relationship. Not saying I would leave him because he would not have sex with me but it would make me feel our values and morals are not on the same page. So with that in mind, I just do not think we would connect on so many levels. Make sense?

 

But with Bella, if he is not attracted to me or can't decide if he is attracted to me...then no, I would not wait. We are just not compatible.

[Luke Skywalker]

Marry fast, have sex fast.

[Scout]

Yeah, I would, but I'd have to have some proof that he wasn't impotent or gay and that's why he didn't want sex. Let's face it, it's pretty rare for both genders these days to want to wait until marriage, and while I ultimately think it's an ideal that would be great if we lived up to, it's just not that much anymore. So I'm afraid I might have a hard time believing his real motive just by him telling me. Sad world, isn't it!

 

Now, how would I get that proof? I guess it would obviously have to involve some level of making out.

[Starfall]

Do these men exist?

[sir sirloin]

"Men only want sex" is a line women use to intimidate timid men into feeling bad about what is natural. All men want sex, some want more.

 

If a man wasn't willing to sleep with a woman until he was married he probably has sexual hangups due to repressive upbringing.

[shorty20]

i would personally repsect a guy that wanted to wait to have sex until the relationship was more established. As far as waiting until marriage, I would wait if I thought it was worth it. I don't define my relationships around sex and I think the waiting until you were married would allow you to get closer on a more personal level then just having sex... so, my answer is yes. If I loved him and he loved me I would wait until whenever he was ready and I'd respect him for sticking with his beliefs.

[Starfall]

I personally think you need to try the shoe on to see if it fits.

Not all shoes fit... and never will. lol

Is it a noble thing to do... absolutely.

[redandblack]

These men do exist. Some of them only want one sexual partner their whole life. Relationships end and these guys know this. They don't want to "throw away" their virginity with someone who might throw them to the curb for little reason. I think that is completely noble and respectable.

[amtjrtcet]

If I was cared enough about him I'd support his decisions & morals & wait on him

[xprincessbugx]

If we had a lot in common and I felt that he was the one, then yes I would wait. Just out of respect and if I truly had a connection with him.

[sir sirloin]

They don't want to "throw away" their virginity with someone who might throw them to the curb for little reason.

Translation "They couldn't get laid in a women's prison if they were passing out pardons."

[Lansing]

Sir Sirloin.....

 

I think it is good to be open minding that not everyone is like you... Not all guys will jump at every chance to have sex... and it doesn't have to do with looks, lack of opportunity or anything else...

[thegirl_00]

i wouldn't be able to wait that long for sex, and i would probbaly be turned off by it.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

I was going to say I wouldn't know, but actually I would, I now remember there was one guy who was some form of new-virgin or something (he'd had plenty of sex before, but then changed his mind and decided to wait till marriage or something). I only dated him once and I found it all a bit too weird for me, and I refused his requests for another date. So to directly answer your question, no, I wouldn't wait, I'd find it odd, and dump him. But (disclaimer time....)there are probably plenty of women who wouldn't find it odd, and would continue to see him.

[hosswhispra]

Yes, I would wait. I feel the same way about this as you do, Lansing

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

When me and my BF got together, I was 17 and he was 21. He explained early on that he wanted to take it slowly due to the age difference, and he wanted to be sure that I was doing it because I wanted to, not because I thought it was something I should do to keep him, despite the fact he wasnt my first, etc.

 

Without too many details, we were togther 3 months before we had sex, maybe a bit longer.

 

We spent at least one night a week togetehr in the same bed for that time, but we waited to go the full way at his request, and although I was a bit impatient sometimes (ah-hmmm) we made out etc and now its fantastic

[moondog627]

Personally, I love the whole 4play phase in the beginning. And while I love sex, if I'm considering getting serious with someone I prefer if we try to hold out for as long as we can until we simply can't contain ourselves anymore. This way it tends to be more animalistic and natural

[quietgrl]

Hey i'm looking for men who want to wait for sex.All i ever meet is men who want casual sex.Where are the nonreligious men who want sex with a commiment?

[Sheyda]

I would wait for him if I felt the relationship was going very well. If he was waiting for religious reasons, I probably wouldn't because I have different beliefs and couldn't stay with someone who is strictly religious. It would probably lead to a lot of arguments.

[MP Meridien]

I have a guy friend who's waiting, and he ends up with really quality women who want to get married to him really quickly so he always ends up in quite the situation.

 

Honestly, you should always do what you believe is best and never compromise for anyone. You'll meet someone who meshes with you perfectly eventually, and there's no reason to end up doing something you'd regret because you feel pressured to prove yourself to the girl you are dating.

 

Plus, you don't want to end up with a girl who doesn't have the same beliefs you do... and that requires sticking to yours when you date. If it's because of religion or fear of disease or pregnancy, you want someone who has the same religious beliefs and the same fears...

[yeawutever]

Yes, definitely I would wait too. Now these days, young teenagers have sex as early as 14. They usually don't have a successful story cuz then when break up comes and they're in another relation, they won't have a successful story. It's better if you're the first one and imagine all those moments you'll live with him/her once both of you are married. It shows how patient you are.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

It's not so much the waiting in and of itself that would weird me out....as it's been my experience that my past boyfriends have always, without fail, beenready to have sex much sooner than I am. The thing that would weird me out, is that I wouldn't feel wanted, desired, which would in and of itself turn me off, which could be problematic.

 

And also I don't like talking things to death, especially about sex, or especially the lack thereof. To me it's a turnoff.

 

Also another problem is that if I subscribed to the idea of not having sex till marriage, then I myself would now be a 34 year old virgin, and if I never choose to marry, then I will have never had sex, and well....maybe that's for some....but it's not for me....