I'm bothered by my girlfriend flirting with her ex.

[jones]

So, this is keeping me up at nights. My girlfriend recently got in touch with an ex. He's a good friend she hooked up with a few times. Nevertheless, she recently found his myspace page online and they got back in touch. She was commenting on how attractive he is out loud to me (he should model, that sort of thing). They talked again the following week and she told him - on the phone - how good looking she thinks he looks these days. I overheard this conversation and mentioned it to her. This started an argument about how silly it was for me to be worried about someone who is a friend and who she didn't have any "chemistry" with. So, I went to the ex's myspace page and discovered she left a post talking about how "fabulous" he looked. Again, with how good looking he is! Elsewhere, she posted a comment under a smiling picture of him that said: "I know what this means, come here and I'll work my mischief on you." I confronted her about this and she stated that he was a mischivous guy and she was teasing him. But she couldn't tell me why he was mischivous. Then I asked her why she tells him on the phone that he's good looking and she said it was because he said: "looking good." But, it wasn't this dramatic: "you look fabulous." So, I'm splitting hairs here but I feel like she is being kind of flirty with her "ex-boyfriend." I worry that it sends him the wrong message and/or that she is frustrated with me and just toying with flirting. He's a very attractive guy that she broke a vow of chasticy for because she wanted to "experiment sexually." She had very little sexual experience at the time. I want to know if I'm just being paranoid and jealous or she's really doing something that is inappropriate. I feel disrespected.

[itsallgrand]

You are entitled to your feelings. They do not seem unreasonable given the circumstances.

 

The question is: What needs to happen so that you can stop the feeling of being disrespected in its tracks?

That's a bad place to go with someone you care for.

What specifically would you like her to do?

[RandomAdvisor]

I want to know if I'm just being paranoid and jealous or she's really doing something that is inappropriate. I feel disrespected.

 

You are not being paranoid or jealous, and you should feel disrespected because she has disrespeted you.

 

There is no good reason for her to go looking up an ex BF just to be "friends" when she's already in a relationship with you. She had to go out and look up his Myspace page. And now she's constantly flirting with him, and to top it all off she thinks you are being unreasonable for having a problem with this? How would she feel if you looked up an ex and started telling them how sexy they were?

 

You've been losing sleep over this for good reason. I think your GF is getting bored of you, and/or she's the cheating type. If she's this disrespectful to you now and so inconsiderate of your feelings, I don't really see things changing. I think you should dump her.

[DN]

I think this behaviour goes beyond 'friendship' - and to do it in front of you is being very disrespectful and inconsiderate. Since she doesn't see the problem and won't change her behaviour, I too would walk away from her. Even if this issue were to be resolved someone that thoughtless or insensitive would not be someone I would want in my life.

[fishrrshortae]

Woman's perspective: Seems like she enjoys making you jealous. It's working! Immaturity any1?? Get rid of her..

[shyanne]

i know how you feel. when i first started dating my husband, his ex called him a lot. more so when she got drunk. always crying, wanting to get back together. it bothered me a lot and my husband understood plus i told him...it was me or her. meaning you stop talking to her or lose me. guess who he picked. she finally stopped calling and trying but he also didn't want her. talk to your boyfriend about how you feel and take it from there.

[Hope75]

I feel disrespected.

 

I think that says it all- don't you?

 

Ask her how it would make you feel if an ex of yours was in touch with you and you were telling her how hot she looked and leaving such comments on her website for your girl to see.

[Spawn]

i think you have enough reasons to walk away from the relationship.

 

Time to stand up for yourself, tell her you find her actions very immature and stop contacting her ex.

 

Well, to me it seems its already over but still its upto to you.

 

Take care man....