prepelica Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 I'm a 48 years old sucessfull international businessman with interests in US and Europe. I'm married with 15 years old daughter. Few months ago I got involved with 23 years old Chinese student in UK and we both madly fell in love with each other . Everything she does or say is perfect for me. We spent a month together , 24 h a day and I just can't stop thinking about her . We comunicate every day and she want's me back She's quite mature for her age . I can talk to her about anything. I have told my wife about it , I guess I decided to live with my new love. I moved out of my home and am currently in a complete confusion staying in the hotel in my home town in US. She's finishing her studies and would like to stay in Europe , where I also have my business and am willing to move there. This is part of my concern , as I do have some doubts , that this could at least initialy be part of her agenda. Can this relationship work , taking in concideration the age and cultural diference. Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Its hard to say for sure but the relationship could work or it could not. It is hard to say for sure. At best all you can do is make an informed decision. Make sure that this is what you want just incase it doesnt work out. Link to comment
BellaDonna Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 I have told my wife about it Yikes...everything was reading smoothly until I saw that. I don't think you need to be concerned about age or culture so much- the real concern is if you can be faithful to one another and trust one another. For one, when you met her you were a married man who cheated, she was also ready and willing to have an affair with you. The circumstances under which you met are not conducive to developing trust. No wonder you are having a hard time figuring out her intentions with you, and doubting whether it can work. BellaDonna Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 I agree with BellaDonna. I don't see a problem with the age thing NOW but later on it may be something she can't handle. Also where is she a legal resident at? Are you willing to leave you life in the states including your daughter to chase after a young co-ed? I think you started this under a horrible umbrella of cheating and lies and now you have doubts to her intentions. I would go with that gut feeling of yours. Have you thought perhaps this is your way to stay young is if you are with this young gal? Link to comment
prepelica Posted March 22, 2006 Author Share Posted March 22, 2006 Thanks Elektra, She's on a student visa in UK which expires when she finishes study and is Chinese citizen. Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Hmm get hooked up with a man having some sort of mid life so I don't have to go back to my communist country. I think there is your answer! Link to comment
melrich Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 I'm married with 15 years old daughter. Prepelica, there is not too much detail in your post. I don't know how long you have known this girl or how involved you are. But it seems you are giving up a lot on potentially a whim. New love is always exciting and initially it is very difficult for your wife of whatever age and however many years of marriage to compete with a 23 year old co-ed. But that "newness" will fade no matter how2 much you may think it won't. Then you have to project and think about what you have to fall back on and what you have given up. Also, other posters have commented about the circumstances of the two of you getting together. I tend to agree with them, a relationship sarted like this has to work twice as hard to go the distance. Link to comment
Kyoshiro Ogari Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 How was/is your relationship with your wife? Was the marriage and possible trouble within the marriage the reason all of this developed with the younger woman? I am not sure how this will work out. Nothing beats new love, but there is a chance of you two growing on each other and that new love will be a distant memory. Is it worth leaving your wife and daughter for something that is not guarenteed? Link to comment
prepelica Posted March 22, 2006 Author Share Posted March 22, 2006 Hi Kyoshiro, I had an affair 10 years ago , and have also told my wife . After a year of separation she took me back and the girl I had affair with ( nine years junior ) left her husband and is still alone with her son of 13. We had a full life with a lot of activities , but I think I never really loved my wife , even at the beginning ( 23 years ago ) Prepelica Link to comment
ElektraHere Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Ok so this is a problem with you. I think you are being so unfair to your wife and your daughter. What sort of example is this for your daughter? She is going to have major trust issues with the men in her life. She will always think if her man is cheating on her. I say go have at it with the coed hopefully she will get her fill of you, get a extension on her visa or even citizenship in the US and then dump you on your cheating * * *! Sorry I have no pity or advice for a habitual cheater! Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted March 22, 2006 Share Posted March 22, 2006 Prepelica, if I were you, I would be careful of what her motives are. You had mentioned that she was a Chinese citizen in the UK on a student visa. Is she getting close to finishing her studies? If so, she may be looking at you as a way to get a visa to the US. People have been known to do that. Link to comment
Omni-I Posted March 23, 2006 Share Posted March 23, 2006 Asian girls with white dude again, and a MUCH older also lol. So ironic that in my prime I am still slow starting the engine with women after my studies and this dude going old is nailing a girl around my age and an asian like me ! lol man STOP stealing our girls. Or... asian girl's white guys ARE overratted! (oh yeah i'd be careful for that gold digger element. In france chinese women have been heard to do that... But then again, i wouldn't be too sad for you if it happened, at least you gonna pay for stealing our GIRLS lol) Every men, and i mean EVERY men aren't indifferent to the charms of young women... Link to comment
prepelica Posted March 23, 2006 Author Share Posted March 23, 2006 Hi Elektra, Perhaps you are right , I might be a habitual cheater , but perhaps I'm just looking for that real think ,that I never had in my life. Yes I know , You'll say why did you marry and have a kid then ? It might also be my mid life crisis, but what was it called 10 years ago , when I was 38 then? I might just let the girl go , no matter how hard it is for me . If she loves me she'll be there for me even if she goes back to China ? Prepelica Link to comment
latina07 Posted March 24, 2006 Share Posted March 24, 2006 My Best Friend Got Involved With A Cop, 43 Years Old And She Was 22 Or 23, Be Really Care Ful I Doubt That This Is Going To Work . Dont Want To Be Negative But She Became Very Inmature For Him As The Years Went By . And He Became Too Boring And Old For Her. She Did Things Behind His Back ( Things More For Age) And Even Cheated With Younger Man That Had More Wild Sex. I Would Not Do It. I Doubt It. But I Do Wonder How Ur Marriage Was Too? Also, How Does Ur Daughter Feel About This? You Also Have To Wonder If She's Just Interested In Making Her Life A Little More Luxurious And Easy, You Are A successfull Business Man??? Think And Really Read What Everyone Advices You Here, And Make A Very Rational Choice. Good Luck!! Link to comment
BetterKarma Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 prepelica, word of caution on this chinese girl. I know a lot of marriages that started off where the guy (whites and asians) falls head over heels for a pretty foreign girl (asians and russians) and as soon as the girl gets her citizenship and her feet wet in the country she drops the guy like a bad habit. (The race examples are purely listed based on my own personal friendships. No offense to anyone who are russian or asian.) I am not saying that all foreign girls (I am Asian) are bad or after something but just be cautious about it especially if you have only known her for a month and she does not have permantant citizenship to the country she is currently in. I would question the real motives of a young chinese student who gets involved with a married, successful, old enough to be her father business man with legal citizenship. Just MHO. Take the time to sort out your own thoughts and feelings. It seems like you have a lot of issues about your marriage that you have never really dealt with. What about your 15 year old daughter? Spend more time with her. Having your parents divorce or separate at the age of 15 can be quite traumatizing. Good Luck. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted April 18, 2006 Share Posted April 18, 2006 you're in a tough spot, and i feel for you. i fell in love with a girl 17 years younger (41/23). half-chinese, half-japanese, and 100% OC born and raised. it seemed that we had everything in common. no sex, not even kissing, because i was married and couldn't break my vows even after i found out about my wife's betrayal because there were children involved. but man, i literally saw stars around this girl. i never knew that feelings that deep even existed; i thought they were made up by poets and dreamers. cut to the chase: she gave up on me when she realized that i was going to stay at home until the kids were on their own feet. now i walk around with a lightning rod on my head, just hoping... finish raising your daughter. it's the only respectable thing to do. omg i think i'm gonna cry. [edit: sorry, she was 24 when i fell. and yup, i'm gonna cry.] Link to comment
Luvtax Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 Asian girls with white dude again, and a MUCH older also lol. So ironic that in my prime I am still slow starting the engine with women after my studies and this dude going old is nailing a girl around my age and an asian like me ! lol man STOP stealing our girls. Or... asian girl's white guys ARE overratted! (oh yeah i'd be careful for that gold digger element. In france chinese women have been heard to do that... But then again, i wouldn't be too sad for you if it happened, at least you gonna pay for stealing our GIRLS lol) Every men, and i mean EVERY men aren't indifferent to the charms of young women... Stop "stealing" your girls? What are you, some kind of pimp? Give me a break. Link to comment
Daddy Bear Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 i wouldn't even waste my time, Luvtax. posts like that speak for themselves. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted April 22, 2006 Share Posted April 22, 2006 You've only known her a few months and under extreme circumstances. Realize leaving your wife and daughter had nothing to do with her with You. Escorts are much cheaper and easier on the heart. Tread lightly. Link to comment
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