ItHurtsRightNow Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 3 days after the breakup I sent her an email telling her I missed her. No response. 3 days after that I tried to call. No answer. I sent her another email saying we should try and patch things up - but I also promised to leave her alone if she chooses not to answer, that I would make no further attempts to contact her. Now it's day 10 - and I'm miserable. I don't know what to do at this point. Ugh. Link to comment
arwen Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 Hey, welcome on enotalone! I am sorry to hear about your situation. I think it would help us to help you, if you tell a little more about what happened between you and the ex. Sofar I can just see that she unfortunately chose not to contact you, so my answer to your question of what to do is 'nothing but heal'. I think her attitude is clear, she needs to be alone now. I think contacting her again would only make things worse for you. She might again not return a call/message, or worse, become angry and ask you explicitly to not contact her. Don't put yourself up for more hurt. Feel free to tell anything you want, maybe we can give you better advice then. It might help you process things as well. Take care, Ilse Link to comment
octopus Posted February 8, 2006 Share Posted February 8, 2006 ItHurtsRightNow, You see how powerful NC is? It's making you go nuts that she's ignoring you. Do the same and take the power in your hands. It's hard, but your other option is to be miserable. Link to comment
Andy223 Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 NC is powerful because people want what they can't have... there is a big pshycological explanation but i cba to go into it Link to comment
ocrob Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 You told her that if she did not respond, then you would leave her alone. You have to stick by this or she will have no respect for you. It seems we make certain comments for a response and when they don't go our way, then we cave. Stick with NC. Sorry about your pain and it will get better. I still think about my ex after 10 weeks of NC, but I am much better. If and when she is ready, then she will contact you. Use NC to get over her and try to move on. It seems when you get to this point, they either come running back or it just doesn't matter anymore. Link to comment
healinginnyc81 Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 hey ithurtsrightnow, I'm so sorry. You are doing the right thing by stopping contact. Give her time and space. Please believe it will get better but it will take some time. Your hurt will lessen. Try to just be with your emotions now. Let it all out. Let yourself cry when you feel like it. Punch pillows if you're angry. Watch tv if you feel like it. Go for walks. Treat yourself to something once a day. If possible find family/friends who are supportive. Post here as much as you need to. There are a lot of people here who are going through heartbreak and will understand what you're feeling. You can get through this, we are here for you. Link to comment
ItHurtsRightNow Posted February 9, 2006 Author Share Posted February 9, 2006 We had been going out for nearly a year - but I think she has emotional issues. This is the 3rd time that she's attempted to cut me off completely. Each time, I'd go along with NC until she'd want to come back to me. The problem is that this time, I'm very attached to her - which is stupid considering her past actions with me. In addition, she confessed to me that a previous boyfriend of one year started talking about getting engaged and she cut him off from her life for good. He pleaded and begged for weeks apparently until he finally gave up, I guess. I didn't do anything drastic to cause this break. We had what I thought was a very minor argument, and she jumped on that to turn ugly on me and she hung up on me. She emailed me the next day that we should get together and discuss things so that we both have a clear idea of where this relationship is going. It sounded like it wasn't going to be very pleasant - so I didn't answer her right away. She then drove to my place, gave me back all the gifts I'd ever given her and she left. I knew she used to use an online dating site. I checked it and found that she activated her profile again. So I have to assume it's definitely over. My rational mind knows I need to keep away from her because she's trouble. But the emotional part of me misses her beyond belief. Link to comment
Ghostrider4042005 Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 sounds a lot like me NC for about 2 weeks n i think she's starting to come back to me but idk i'm not the issue just go the old golden way of NC n if she keeps coming back she'll prolly come back again don't be checking her stuff dude curiosity killed the cat Link to comment
DaMadHatter Posted February 9, 2006 Share Posted February 9, 2006 Well u obviously know what u have to do don't u? NC is THE only way to go in this situation. I've been where u were and yeah it sucks, but hey it gets sooooo much better especially if u dont cave in. Something similar happened with an ax of mine and i went into NC and man it killed me, i was a wreck but i never caved in to the urge to contact her. Well would u believe it 3 years later and she calls out of the blue. Well after this time i'm over her and she's the one dying for me to contact her. My point is she's made it obvious what she wants so take it on the chin like a champ and move on no matter how hard. And if she changes her mind down the road she'll contact u. Even if she does contact you soon which i think she might considering her past i'd still drop her and move on with my life, why? she seems like a very flaky girl and u don't need that in your life. Hope this helps. Link to comment
ItHurtsRightNow Posted February 10, 2006 Author Share Posted February 10, 2006 Damn, I can hardly stand this right now. I have an overwhelming urge to call her. I'm afraid that NC will cause her to forget me and for me to forget her. We'll have lost any foothold for reconciliation .. Link to comment
calgaryguy Posted February 10, 2006 Share Posted February 10, 2006 Hey there Dont let yourself do it, Its better to do NC for a while!!! trust me bagging and pleading wont bring back anything but more pain. Give it another week and see how you feel then, and mean while go hang out with friends, talk to them about it and so on....it helped me I bet it will help you. Best of luck to you friend. Keep up updated. Link to comment
ItHurtsRightNow Posted February 11, 2006 Author Share Posted February 11, 2006 Thanks for the support, folks. I didn't attempt to contact her or anything. I felt the urge again last night - very badly, but again I did nothing. This is like a nightmare, but I think you all helped me avoid doing something stupid like call her or email her. Link to comment
Ghostrider4042005 Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 i felt like doin that too but you gotta be strong heck today i went out and got a hair cut and instead of going for a run i went for a drive n it felt GREAT so just go out and try something new Link to comment
Big Jim Posted February 12, 2006 Share Posted February 12, 2006 Yeah dont get caught up in a calling/ contact situation, believe me, i was in one for 3 months, and it made the hurt 3x as bad. You will hurt like hell for a bit, but the immediate gratifictation you would be getting by calling her, will only make it worse in the long run. Believe me. Im now at teh point that sometimes when she calls me, im actually pissed about it, because all she does is bring me down, its like a constant reminder of what you dont have anymore. Im just starting NC, and i know it will help me more then anything. Also it gives her a chance to see life without me, i treated her better then anyone has or will, and she has still been gettiing that from me, without a relationship. No longer will i be there for her Link to comment
ItHurtsRightNow Posted February 13, 2006 Author Share Posted February 13, 2006 Crap - I feel like sh*t. I miss her the most at night like now. I feel like giving her a call, an IM, an Email - but then I remind myself that if indeed she wanted to talk to me, she'd make the call. Then the devil on my shoulder says that maybe she's waiting for me to make the first move ... Link to comment
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