Why did your relationship end?

[jigsaw]

Just curious if everyone has given thought about why things ended. Some of us just don't know, some do. Please share if you're comfortable with it.

 

Mine ended because I neglected my lover for too long. I was neglecting her because I was too caught up in myself, my career, and bouts of depression for which I was too proud to seek treatment. Hindsite is 20/20, I failed to realize all of this until it was too late for us.

[sucker4ya]

Mine ended because 2 years of long distance took it's toll on us. I transferred schools, we were finally in the same place, and I was positive that was going to be enough. But I was wrong. We were both so frustrated with the distance that we kept fighting about every little thing, even after we were finally together again. He says we have irreconcilable differences, but the funny thing is...all of our "differences" are so stupid and small that a couple children could work through them. I think he just decided he wanted to play the field...I was his first everything, and he says..."how will I know if there is something better out there if I don't look?" Ouch.

[deejay74]

mine ended because my ex said she was too "overwhelmed" with being in a relationship while she's trying to focus on her school and goals. granted she is a very busy person but i guess the relationship just wasn't worth the effort to her.

 

she claims i didn't do anything to make her break up with me but i know i did get needy and i also think i relied too much on her and the relationship for my happiness. at least that's how i feel looking back.

[red10]

mine ended b/c he wanted to pursue an old friend who just got divorced called him , and has a kid, and is farther away from him than i am. he hasn't seen her in over 5 yrs they've been writing letters to each other... we were together for 8 mos. took a break, but were still kind of together, i guess i was his backup...finally he dumped this on me...i had NO IDEA!! and he tells me he loves me and he doesn't know why he can't just be with me....whatever, i'm all set.

[luciddreamer]

i didn't know if it was the long distance (on and off for 4 yrs) or irreconcilable stuff like whether i could meet his emotional needs (questioned myself: was this irreconcilable or a matter of me saying, do whatever it takes because that is what unconditional love is)

and him wanting to play the field and assuage his feelings of sexual inferiority by sleeping around... recently read 'how to be an adult in relationships' (d. richo) and i recommend it.... one of the checklists was me and my ex EXACTLY... the fear of abandonment versus the fear of being engulfed (me). a little knowledge would've gone a long way, but i wouldn't have read it if we hadn't broken up and the situation making me determined to work on myself.....

Whatever we do, let's not say "I don't know why it happened.' You can't learn and go on if you don't look at yourself honestly and see the debris on the ground.

[Dako]

Grew apart.

[renaissancewoman101]

My relationship ended because of three things: 1) I am still very attached to my best friend who was my first ex. My current ex could not handle that because he felt that I opened up more to my best friend than to him and that I was always talking to him and running to help him out; 2) my ex could not deal with me being more established than he was. My ex was a 32 year old "child" in the body of a man who lived at home, did not know how to drive, would rather play Magic or computer games and looked at yuppies as something bad; 3) he could not stand the fact that I had pulled away from him and had started to ignore him and treat him badly. That was my fault. I started to lose feelings for him and I didnt know how to deal with that. I was also going through a lot of difficult things in my life so I pulled away from him and turned more to my best friend whom I trust with my heart and leaned on him for support.

 

We also had very little in common.

[needafriend]

I'm in a new relationship now but my ex ended it with me because he did'nt love me anymore + he cheated on me with his ex, got her pregnant and proposed.

 

Ha! I'm so glad I'm over that!

[smilelikeyoumeanit]

I didn't like him in that way enough to want to get serious, so I broke things off. We went back to being the exact same friends we were before we 'went out'.

[fantasia2004]

It ended because I could not get my priorities in order and we were fighting about the same things over and over again.

[shes2smart]

Long term relationship #1 - we grew apart

 

Long term relationship #2 - he was an alcoholic and wasn't interested in doing anything to change that

 

Long term relationship #3 - I caught him cheating

[RayKay]

Okay, I have a few here, but I started dating when I was about 13/14, so keep that in mind!

 

Long Term #1 (2 years)- he cheated

 

Long Term #2 (2.5 years) - different people, we were going different directions. This was the only one I ever broke off, I was young and not ready to say he was the one forever yet, and I was learning about whom I was. I loved him, but I know in the long term we were just too incompatible and way too different.

 

 

Long Term #3 (5 years) - he unfortunately passed away after a short illness, though it was rather sudden and unexpected. Would I still be with him if it had not happened...hard to say. I would of thought so then, but now, knowing what I have now...it's such a difficult thing to answer, and don't think I can. I would not trade what I have now, I wish he was still around though and alive.

 

 

Long Term #4 (1.5 years) - he decided I was not the one.....and wanted to "be single"

 

Long Term #5 (15 months) - and counting to forever! Took a few wrong turns and falls, but the journey was well worth it...heartbreak and sadness included.

[Dako]

What a sheltered life I've led!

[Andy223]

relationships have been known to end, usually by loss of interest. If a partner becomes boring (predictable) unexciting, the other partner will go off and search for other lovers. Human beings are attracted to exciting things like metal to a magnet.

 

Women are also attracted to men on a subconscious level, and if the partner fails to provide this level of attraction, then the relationship will fall apart

 

same thing goes with cheating, if a guy or a girl cheats on you, then he / she isnt attracted to you... its simple! Never allow yourself to become predictable and boring.

[troublegal05]

Well...It ended because we were polar opposites...

[healinginnyc81]

My only relationship was 2yrs and 8 months. It ended because I was depressed for about 6 months and in crisis about who I was and where my life was going and so I wasn't really emotionally available for my ex. She didn't think I was going to get better and she found another guy and after talking to him for a few weeks she dumped me.

[Kaia]

Relationship #1 - long distance, I idealized the relationship too much. I think it was what you would call 'puppy love'. He went to university, we drifted apart. He dumped me without telling me he was dumping me

 

Relationship #2 - he came when my feelings were still messed up with ex#1. I felt in love with him but in a few years we grew apart. I felt depressed being with him, ignored sexual incompartibility for too long, realized all these too late for correction. Thinking back, we were different people but I learned a lot about myself during that time.

[yme]

Mine? Sounds like self pity, but here goes.

 

I have only recently (4 years) become disabled. My wife of 22 years started to get bored with having to physically help me and the limits my illness put upon her own chances to have a social life. We couldn't go shopping together even, without her pushing my wheelchair.

 

She started a new job, made new friends and fell for the brother of one of her workmates who is 20 years younger than her and not physically disabled. End result? Boost to her ego and mid-life crisis saw her move out just before Christmas.

 

How did I manage to get over it so quickly? By imagining her sharing the joys of the holiday season with someone that was not me!

 

My future? No room for her any more!!! I am myself again, and have become very friendly with a disabled woman. No more games of pretence.

[valenski]

Mine ended because I was not satisfied, I was willing to do for her but she didnt return the sentiment. Yeah we had some good times but in the end, a break up was the best thing for me as only my heart was invested.

[ocrob]

May marriage broke up because my ex had to spend every single weekend with her family and wanted me there. I resented it and became a grump. My last gf said that she was unable to wait for me to marry her, then it was because I was not as religious as her, also she said I drank too much and she just no longer had romantic feelings for me.

[ScreenagerX]

Still trying to figure mine out really. From an obvious point of view (on my wifes side) it would be because I looked at porn but realistically there is more to it than that. We had a baby & during the next 18 months spent all our time concentrating on her & neglecting "our" relationship. Things just kind of spiralled from there

[roxy79]

Mine ended because he said he was not ready to be in a relationship. Said he needed to do things for himself for once and that being in a relationship is NOT what he wantd. Needed to get his ducks in a row. I haven't talked to him in about a year, and he just recently made attempts to talk to me. (keeping my hopes up that we are crossing each others paths once again for a reason).

[Songbird]

Long term # 1 (7 years) we grew apart

Long term #2 (5 years) he lost interest & cheated

Long term#3 (3.5 years) still not sure what happened there, I guess working on the relationship was not worth it for him. 18 days NC & counting...

[selfi]

Quote; I wasnt attractive enough. End quote

[Nicesmile]

First one. Very good friend of close to 5 years with "never fully explored " romantic interest. He wanted marriage (?) I say no. He is married now and we are still friends.

 

Long term 2. 1 year - Long distance, beautiful man traumatised by divorce. Had two kids, didn't want more, made sure of it, if you know what i mean. I wanted kids. I broke it off. Was very sad.

 

Then I thought I met the one in....

 

Long term 3. Dumped me in november. 3.5 years, lived together, had talked marriage. Had problems in the last few months, I was the only one willing to work on them.