I want to die

[musicguy]

I swear each year my life keeps on going downhill. I have huge financial debt. Girls treat me like crap being I'm too nice and I'm not doing the career that I went to tech school for. I'm 26, I still live at home, I have no girl and most girls my age are already married or have kids. I love kids and I want kids, but in order for me to do that I need a girlfriend. I have a spending problem and the band that I'm in I'm not happy with. Every time someone (female) hurts me I cut myself or threaten to cut myself. Why live any longer?

 

Musicguy

[registered]

Hey mate

 

It sounds like things have been pretty sh_t for you.

 

Let's go one thing at a time.

 

Financial debt:

So many people are in serious debt, this is a terrible thing. The credit companies are evil and make it very difficult to overcome serious debt, but it is not impossible.

Firstly, if your debt is from spending on credit cards you should discuss this with the company...they might reduce the interest rate if they feel they can still make a lot of interest, it isn't unheard of.

Also about your spending problem well you can try and overcome this (and will have to if you wish to pay off your debts)...it is not a physical addiction and so you should try and get some help, there might even be support groups for people in debt from spending, talk to a therapist...it will be worth it, they will show you how you can overcome this.

 

Girls treat you like crap:

You say you are being too nice...if you are a nice guy that is a good thing, don't lose this on how other people treat you.

It often takes a lot of setbacks to come to a successful relationship, think about the valuable things you have learnt.

If you get pushed around and used then you need to try and prevent this. Again, this is something doable, it isn't a reason to end your life.

I doubt that "most" girls your age are married and have kids...people are getting married and having kids later and later. There are plenty of single girls of your age looking for a nice guy out there.

 

You live at home:

You should view this as something good - it will help you get out of debt.

If you can get out of debt that will be one problem solved and will make it easy to fix any other problems.

Obviously I understand why you would rather not live at home, but I think that you should embrace it for the moment.

 

the band:

If you don't like your band why are you in it?

If you don't enjoy being in it and would be happier without it then why not move on?

Maybe start again with a different band?

 

To overcome these things you need to do just one thing. That is be motivated and postive.

Maybe you wonder what you would have to be motivated and positive about?

Well there are a lot of things.

The first thing is your future. Your future isn't written, you can make of it anything you want. Don't think it will suck because your past has been painful.

You have a lot to give the world too. You are a nice guy for one, you will make some girl happy if you can be a nice guy.

Your family. They want you to live - they are always there for you.

You want a girl and kids. If you don't live you won't be able to have those things. If you do you will be able to try (and I think you will succeed in good time) to get these things.

Your name is musicguy right, and you are in a band, so I take it you like music Surely you must want to be able to play and hear music! Being able to create or play music is no small thing and people like me wish they could do it.

 

Talk to a therapist, it will be worth it. You would regret not living - everyone knows this.

[sparticuss]

The bit with the financial debt I don't really know about

 

- Girls do not treat you like crap cause you are a nice guy. Thats way to much a generalisation and a pretty nasty thing to say about girls who don't treat guys like crap.

 

SOME girls treat you like crap. Either because they, very mistakenly, think its normal to treat guys like crap. Or because they have an attitude problem and treat everyone like crap. Nothing to do with you being a nice guy.

Actually there are more girls who reat guys right than who treat them like crap. Unfortunately I have a name for these girls. I call them Mrs. Can't blame their husbands for snapping them up pronto either.

 

These girls arent interested in abandoning their husbands but they still make great friends.

 

 

I swear each year my life keeps on going downhill. I have huge financial debt. Girls treat me like crap being I'm too nice and I'm not doing the career that I went to tech school for. I'm 26, I still live at home, I have no girl and most girls my age are already married or have kids. I love kids and I want kids, but in order for me to do that I need a girlfriend. I have a spending problem and the band that I'm in I'm not happy with. Every time someone (female) hurts me I cut myself or threaten to cut myself. Why live any longer?

 

Musicguy

[Kamue]

musicguy, please dont become suicidal because of these problems. you can fix them!! like said before, debt is a huge part of many many peoples lives. it happeneds to so many people, and thier are orginizations out there created for people who are having a hard time with thier debt.

and listen, you know you have a spending problem. there are so many people who wont admit to thier problems, but you know you have one and your willing to get it helped. thats an amazing thing. thier are definatly counsilers who can help you, and im sure your parents would be more than happy to help you!!

girls are sometimes difficult. i say this, because i am one but a lot of girls will step all over nice guys because the guy will just take it. but there are also tons of wonderful women who are looking for a guy like you! i know it sounds kinda of dumb, but try a dating site. my friend used link removed and she found her new boyfriend thier. they moved in with eachother and neither of them have been happier! your a nice guy, and a musician, and all girls love musicians!! i absolutly know theres a girl out there who would love you the way you want to be--and should be-- loved.

and ya know, if you dont like your band, tell them that you think there may be some tension between all of you. or maybe that to become a better band you need to work things out. if they want to make the band as best as it can be, im sure they will listen to what you have to say and consider every word of it.

i hope things look up for you. pm me if you wanna talk!!

good luck

[Confused1981]

Life is precious , some of us dont have a choice whethe we die!!!! U need to pick ur self up and b strong, cuz there is some1 out there for you and u still so young, there are many places to meet people but dont go out to meet some1 , let it happen, u might find u will even meet some1 in the strangest of places like on a bus!! I 2 have had finacial problems, think to yourself what is the worst that can happen, bankrupcy, you havent got a family yet so your lucky, u can get out of this mess, but only you can!!! Good Luck!!

[cruisin]

musicguy -- about the financial debt. Mine is huge too and getting bigger and soon I won't be able to borrow off the credit cards anymore. I am scared and I could let this paralyze me, but I try to just keep going, just keep making money, trying to reduce expenses. I will beat this thing! Remember, it's ONLY money. Do NOT ever think of it as anything that really, really matter. It doesn't. Life does. It may sound lame and people to whom money means a lot for some sick reason will try to tell you otherwise, including those people who stand to make money off of you, but just remember, if you want to die to get away from the problems, then you can LIVE to get away from. Don't let something so material pull you down.

[steff]

hey, please dont pay any attention to Romeoz God, he has said things like that in every sucide post... and its not nice...

 

im sure that you will find a girlfriend, and she will be perfect for you just give it time, thats what people here have been telling me about boyfriends... please dont cut yourself... maybe find someone u can talk to, or find something else that relesses the pain.... like playing darts or running... i find the gym is great to release pain... that and it help me lose 10kgs so dont listen to people like Romeoz God we dont want anything to happen to you

[the yang to the worlds yin]

honey you don't wanna die, theirs no point to it. you see the bad in this world, but haven't you stopped to see the good? when i get upset or start to feel gloomy ilook at this beautiful tree outside my apartment, it's young, and so incredibly beautiful the way the stem kind of twists and the leaves fall down one by one. point is, theres beauty and wonder in everything around you, it's simply how you look at it. so cheer up hun, anotehr day will come and the minute you realise the good in your lfie as well, you'll be happy you stuck around =)

[musicguy]

I slit my wrist tonight. I was talking about it to my co-workers about my crappy day today and then it go worse wehn my ex decided to insult me and say racist cmmets toward me, call me a loser, a F*g and other hurtful things..now it makes me wanna die even more

[skyblue1]

You can overcome this darling. Be strong! STOP cutting urselve. I think you really need to speak to a councillor. You sound very depressed. Have faith you will get better. Try and go out more with friends and family. YOU can only help urself. Good luck sweetie! Be STRONG!

[musicguy]

Well at my job I was talked to by my store manager b/c my co-workers had told her that i was feeling depressed and suicidal.

[darkblue]

What did s/he say?

[musicguy]

She basically said that if I was feelind depressed to talk to her

[darkblue]

And are you going to?

[musicguy]

I already talked to her. She was the one that paged me at work.

[PocoDiablo]

Musicguy,

 

This is PocoDiablo's girl (FYI),

Anyway, you are so much better than this! You have too much to offer to the world - no matter if you know it or not! Don't give up! I was in a similar situation myself and if I'd given up, I wouldn't have met the perfect man. You WILL meet the perfect girl; you just have to stick it out! I'm so glad that I did, and you will be too. Just give yourself more time! The last thing I will recommend is, PM PocoDiablo about your girl situation. He has very accurate advice, although it may be difficult to hear at times, but PM him and he will help you. I promise!

 

Take care Music! I believe in you!

[musicguy]

I cut myself yesterday afternoon on my arm, I can't take this anymore, i really can't

[MI_Shell]

I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all this. Be careful who you share your troubles with, some people are not capable of understanding and can be mean, this has nothing to do with who you are as a person, these people simply are just unkind and it would be good if you could find someone nice to talk to.

Remember that as a musician you have a gift, maybe use this as a way of expressing your emotions and letting it out. You never know it could make some breakthroughs in your music.

 

Sometimes when there is just so much going on it helps to write a list and try and deal with one thing at a time. I find if I write a list for what I need to try and work on each day it can be more manageable and less overwhelming. When there is so much to deal with it is better to just deal with one thing at a time.

 

Be gentle with yourself. I know this is hard but you must stop being so hard on yourself. Try and have faith that it will get better. There is so much that you can get out of life and deserve to have if you give yourself the chance.

Shell

[musicguy]

*sigh* I can't seem to think that there are better things for me in the future when everything always goes wrong

[Bethany]

I know it sounds funny, but these things that go wrong just make you stronger. Every day you live through them somehow.

 

Try changing just one thing, for example, your band. Why not start looking for a new band, or advertise that you are starting a new one up. It could open new doors and bring new people into your life, who knows where this might lead further down the road. It's got to be worth a try and better than just sitting wishing things were different and doing nothing to change them. Have hope and little by little, by doing small things every day, your life will change.

[musicguy]

*sigh* I've tried everything that i could do

[designer71]

Listen dude - I lost two jobs in two years, lost my condo, am absolutely DROWNING in financial debt, just got dumped by my boyfriend of a year and a 1/2 and live at home with my parents at 34 years old and can't find a job to save my life....but guess what? It all builds character. I am not sitting here wanting to die because of it all because if I do know one thing, it's that nothing ever stays the same, even the bad stuff. I know that in one year's time when I am doing much better and I look back, I will be so proud of myself for pulling myself out of this mess instead of disappearing into it. None of these problems will be here for you forever. You have to start to have faith.

[musicguy]

I'm trying to do my best, but everything seems to go backwards instead of forwards

[ShySoul]

"In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity."

 

You are experiencing a rough period in your life, so am I. But no matter how hard things are, its not worth hurting yourself physically over. Things can get better. I know it seems like nothing ever does. The few times I've felt that things were turning around for me, something happened and I ended up depressed and down again. But things will get better. You just have to believe in yourself and take things one day at a time.

 

Take the easy thing first. What is wrong with the band you are in? If there is a problem, find a way to fix it. Music is your passion, it should be what makes you happiest, not somethng that depresses you more. Either address what is wrong with the band, or maybe find a new one?

 

I love kids too. I want one as well. But I need a girlfriend first as well. Don't stress about it. We have plenty of years left in us to find someone and have a relationship, get married, have kids. It will happen, it just takes time and patience. More you stress about it, worse you will feel. And that is going to reflect in your actions and turn girls off. Best thing to do is worry about the other aspects of your life, let that part come to you when its time. It's hard, I know. But its the best thing you can do.

 

Some girls treat you like crap. And those girls don't deserve you, are jerks, and probably very insecure and miserable inside. But other girls are nice to you. I can't believe there isn't a single girl you can trust who is nice to you. Think of those girls, don't let the other kind get to you.

 

Finding work isn't easy, no matter the age or degree you have. Keep pushing at it. You'll find something better eventually. Maybe look up ways to improve your resume or interview better. Save what you can and when you can afford it, move out on your own. Work the debt down little by little. Plenty of people are in that position and its hard. But they slowly get themselves out. You can to.

 

You have a lot on your plate, its not easy. But it isn't worth cutting yourself over. Nothing is. You can make it through. Believe in yourself, have faith, and hang in there.

[musicguy]

I love the career that I have. I work PT at a recording studio SR Audio here in Iowa. I like my full time job as well which is at a retail store cuz I like the people that I work with, but it's not what I went to school to do. The only thing holding me back from working at the studio full time is my car. (the drive in 45 mins awat from my hometown). As for the band, I am trying to find a new band. As for the girl I did meet a girl online from Minnesota and we talk every so often. She just broke up with her bf 3 weeks ago....so once again, bad timing on my part, but she seems to like me and I like her, so I'll see where this goes.