Success stories

[sam121310]

I thought that it would be nice to hear some success stories here. There are a lot of us in the NC zone and I would like to hear how it went for other people. Did things work out, did you get back together?

 

Let us all know how it went so we can continue to stay strong.

[chai714]

With NC, the only success story is when the person using NC has become less emotional about it, and can talk to their ex without a) telling them how they feel and b) begging, crying, pleading.

 

NC is not and should not be a tactic to get your ex back. It's to contain your emotions and act as a safety net to prevent irreversible damage and acts of desperation.

 

That being said, you stay strong for yourself. After overcoming heartbreak, you heal stronger and have one more experience under your belt. It can make you a wiser person, if you choose to learn about yourself and how people work during your NC time. Good luck.

[heloladies21]

Every single person who gets over their ex using NC is a success story. Even if you two are going to get back together you need to get over her so you can deal with the situation if it arises in the future. Stay in NC, start talking to other girls. Plan on moving on unless she gives you a really good reason to change your mind.

[WildChild]

I have a success story With my current boyfriend. We met a year ago, dated for about a month and a half and realized that neither one of us were ready for a committed relationship. We would see each other now and again, and then he started dating someone else It broke my heart because we really clicked. I would not contact him and low and behold I would hear from him. After awhile though, I started feeling worse because I would only hear from him when he wanted to talk and never would he respond when I wanted to talk. One day I had enough. Sent him an email, told him I wished him well but I cannot take hearing from him one day and then him ignoring me for the next 3-4 weeks and that I had hoped one day it would work for us, but I guess not and have a gr8 life. Believe it or not and to my surprise, the next day I heard from him and we have been together ever since....9 months. We've had to work through somethings, but I know that we both love each other

[Hope75]

I think the idea behind NC is more about allowing yourself the time and space to find your own inner strength, and to learn to live without the ex, rather than using it for getting them back.

 

I am not saying that if you break up there is no chance to get back together, but if there is, communication is key, as is the mutual desire to want to be together and to realize your past mistakes and to both put in the effort to make it work.

 

My bf and I broke up last November after 2 years together. Since then we've talked and really worked at making things right, and just celebrated our 3rd anniversary this past October.

 

Success can go either way, it can be working it out with the ex and being happy together, or it can be healing from the breakup and moving forward, and finding happiness somewhere else.

 

Stay strong! You can do it!

[jigsaw]

Every single person who gets over their ex using NC is a success story. Even if you two are going to get back together you need to get over her so you can deal with the situation if it arises in the future. Stay in NC, start talking to other girls. Plan on moving on unless she gives you a really good reason to change your mind.

 

I agree. The success of No contact is taking control of yourself. After you've done that you can pursue whatever you want with that power, because it's yours.

[shorty20]

I did NC with an ex for 6 months. We were together for about 3.5 years. After about 6 months, he broke NC because he said he'd found some old pictures of us when we were together and missed me. We're great friends now. I'm in a relationship, and so is he, but we give each other the best of advice, because I know his quirks and he knows mine. I've never initiated NC with anyone I've gotten back together with, but it does help to heal you and help you move on. I think I will always love him... it just turned into more of an adoring love than a passionate love.

[RayKay]

Well it is true that anyone whom successfully uses NC to heal is a success story. Same with people whom don't use NC and heal. Same with those whom reunite with their ex, and those who find someone they are far more compatible with and whom shares the same goals, feelings, and values they do.

 

I can tell you that MANY MANY of the posters here came here during breakups, and many many of them used NC, or limited contact, to heal and move on. And even if they are not with their ex, they are doing quite well...it is quite neat to see some of them "grow" really

 

Bottom line is sometimes what we wish for, or think we want, is not really what turns out to be best for you in the end...and sometimes your reward comes in other forms. Just have faith that you are doing what is best for you, and happy healing

[Mstyiyd]

I have posted before on my saga with my ex g/f but I guess I have some updates that could fit into this forum. Just read my old posts to get the story if u aren't familiar w/it....too tired to type it all again tonight!

Thanks....

 

Anyways, I initiated NC w/someone that I've had a very complex situation with. For all intents, I call her my ex g/f because we simulated everything two people who are together all the time and are intimate w/one another for well over a yr. But we never officially called each other g/f bec. of bad breakups we each had separately before we got together. We had a long hx of being close friends before it. Also I have NEVER been w/a friend before, dont believe its the greatest idea but I know it can work for some.

I did the NC bec. she was sending alot of mixed messages and had become very self centered, typical stuff. I am 30, she is 41. No need for that. So, after careful deliberation I NC'd after a particular incident. It has been the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my life. I think she would have been cool w/keeping the friendship but i didnt think she deserved my friendship after certain things went on (no abuse of any kind, no cheating, read old posts for info)....We had to TC a few times about a bill but then nothing. Recently, we reconnected on the phone when she called to wish me a happy b-day. We have talked a few times over the past 2 weeks. We had a brief sushi dinner last nite, only about an hour long, which was good. There was some awkwardness during dinner, as I was sitting accross from someone whom I share so much history (helped take care of her during cancer) but not really tension. I dont know what is going to happen, and Im not typically friends with an ex. I dont know if i can be called a hypocrite yet, but maybe I am one....its complicated. I dont know how often we will talk/see each other.

I know that I am taking care of ME first, not in a selfish way, but i need to be healthy/strong for my own sanity. I dont want to fall back into a one sided situation, which is what it became. We have not talked about the pressing issues bec. Im actually not ready, and my therapist (yes, I go to one!) has said that I dont have to do that w/her yet until Im ready.

 

So,,,,,is this a success story? It could be. I am proud I was able to maintain NC and that she called first, but I agree 100% with the other posters who say you have to do NC for YOU not to get them back. I am a heck of alot stronger from doing NC but it is as close to emotional torture as one can get. Many times I didnt think i'd make it, i have amazing friends who dealt w/many midnite phone calls. I owe them for sure! And she may be trying to come back in my life simply as a friend, which i dont know if i can deal with that, or if she is doing it bec. she feels guilt, as many dumpers get around to feeling. Only time will tell; i will keep posting when something earth shattering happens. Just bec. she called doesnt mean we're together, or even will be friends. I have missed her terribly, but I will not be anyone's doormat.

I hope everyone is learning from each other's posts. I know I have. Thanks for listening and good luck to us all!

[selfi]

I wonder if there is a success story where NC wasnt used at all. . .if such a thing exists.

And if it doesnt, that would be irrefutable evidence that you have no chance getting back together if NC doesnt come into play.

[LiquidCherry]

My ex broke up with me after 10 months and I was totally heartbroken. Selfi, I never did NC, I just had less contact with him. NC wasn't what I wanted and I could handle internet conversations. After a month and a half he asked me to come over and we talked for a few hours because he wanted to get back together with me! The only thing is.. During our break up I did a lot of thinking and a lot of healing. I'm afraid to let myself care deeply for him again and there were things about our relationship that I will not put up with and I told him so. That being said, it's only been a few days since we got back together and it hasn't really sunk in yet.

[danylion]

My ex of 2 years left due to commitment fears, we didn't really have contact but that was because it was so painful and I really was in shock. I wanted to talk to him but I couldn't find the words. So not having much contact was to help me get through the hours, basically survive.

 

It was during the month he was apart from me and not having contact that allowed us BOTH time to think and really find out what we wanted.

WE wanted each other and realised that we are only human and we make mistakes but what makes us better and wiser is that we learn.

 

I love him and he loves me and whatever happens I am proud of how we handled it and that we respected what each other was going through.

 

We talk alot now and giggle at the depth of our conversation. We won't allow any bitterness to affect this present honesty, try not to blame. We try to look at it with fresh eyes, treat it as a new relationship.

Its hard work and takes patience and is a working process, like any relationship.

 

NC is not a tool to win someone back its for the individual, allowing time and space to get your head round things, both of you.

 

(He just just rang me while I was typing this and agreed to watch the new version of titanic, now getting my man to do that is what i call a success!)

 

You're all a success, keep talking! xxxxxx

[selfi]

you gals are lovely! quick question a little off topic, but for you guys who did rekindle, while being apart from them, how did you deal with things like X-amount anniversary's coming around and not being together on those days?

[LiquidCherry]

I'm not the type of person to celebrate monthly anniversaries so I never had to deal with that but he did break up with me right before his birthday. That was a really sad day. I wanted to be there with him so much and I handled it by reminding myself that he broke up with me because he didn't want to be with me. Special day or not we weren't together anymore.

[WildChild]

this is turning into exactly what i didnt want to read - no hate. is there anyone out there that wants to talk about getting their ex back? I JUST WANNA GET AWAY FROM REALITY FOR A LITTLE!!!!

 

I posted my success yesterday

[Mstyiyd]

I think everyone here has had to use NC or has seriously thought about implementing it for their own sanity. We all do things at our own pace when dealing with the complexity of our personal relationships.

It's important for us to remember we don't know what we would do until we walk in someone else's shoes.

 

When I initiated the NC with my ex, her b-day came about a month and a half afterwards. We'd had some minor phone contact over settling bills in between then, but the convos were brief and only dealt w/the bill, nothing else. I made sure of that. I did not acknowledge her b-day because we were doing NC, and I didn't want to use her b-day as an excuse to break it, esp when she had told me repeatedly before I did NC that she didnt want to be w/me, etc etc. I debated for a while @ what to do, and ultimately listened to the writer "SuperDave" on here, who said that if u do nothing u cannot screw anything up. And not to call someone you're doing NC with for ANY reason...let them see what life is like w/o you.

So I didnt, and when I heard from her a wk later for the final call about the cell phone bill she was very upset that I hadnt called. I explained why. And in a weird way felt sorta better. She couldnt ever say I used her b-day to try to "get her back".....definitely didnt want to feed the ego.

This tactic is real good for anyone who has an ex w/a big ego, like mine.

 

Impt dates are hard days for us dumpees. But my ex called me for my b-day in October, and I was really surprised because I had mentally prepared myself for that NOT to happen ever since NC started.

I dont feel like a winner here, only a winner within myself for slowly learning to let go and move forward with my life.

Day by day.....that's all you can do.

[Hope75]

We did not celebrate monthly anniversaries or anything like that either. We were technically apart last Christmas, though we were dating. We talked on the phone. If you are missing special days and holidays without him, my advice to you is to try and spend them with friends and family, to keep yourself busy and your mind occupied.

[h_b_k_02]

Long time since I posted, but here goes.

 

I didn't talk to my ex for 4 months. I dated and slept with someone else since, she has done nothing but sit at home. Funny, she broke up with me to go out and have fun .

 

Well, we started talking again since and have seen each other for 2 weeks. I have kept emotions in check, however am getting impatient. I have an interesting topic regarding Christmas gifts for those exes we'd like to rekindle with which I wish to pose. Check it out.

[selfi]

Well, it isn't a complete success yet, but my ex is back in my life again. We aren't officially back together, but things between us are so much better than they were just a few months ago. We are seeing eachother again and talk everyday now.

 

I didn't do strict NC. NC was usualy for only a few days at a time or a week at most. It was mostly light contact and she came back after I thought it was over.

 

congrats! im rooting for u all the way! im happy for u!