sam121310

I'm sure that most of you have read my other posts I have put up over the last couple of months. I just wanted to let you all know how things were going. The love of my life and I are back together and we are both very happy. We know it isn't going to be all wine and roses, but we are committed to making this work. I did the NC that we all talk about here. It was a long road, (not as long as some) and it was hard to do, but in the end it all came out great. I knew it was for the best. I needed time to figure out some things, and she needed time too. It was great because we both realised how much we meant to each other during that time apart. I told her about NC and why I did it. She didn't know at the time that was what was happening, she just thought I didn't want anymore to do with her. She said the time apart was good for her too. She says it gave her time to look back and see that things between us weren't that bad at all, that they were actually very good. We had our problems that's true, but most of them can be solved by better communication on both our parts. I bought an online book "How to Get Back Your Ex" by Brian Caniglia. I followed his instructions to the letter. I did EVERYTHING that he recomended. They really worked. It also helped me discover me again. I feel good about myself and had a lot of my confidence back. This may not work for everyone, but it's still a great resource to have. Good luck to all of you out there and don't give up hope. I wish you all the very best. Thank you again for your support.

Ok, here's the deal. Ex and I broke up 6-7 wks ago. Had NC with them until they broke it. Got a couple of calls and the last one was the "I've been thinking about you a lot, and really miss you" one that just made my heart leap. Here's the dillema. I've met another woman and we have been out a few times. She calls me the other day and basically said that I need to figure out what I'm going to do about me and my ex, (she kinda nows her, wrked for the same company). She says she is really attracted to me, but can't see us seeing each other until I'm not hung up on my ex anymore. Any advice?

Your right. I had been keeping up the "It's all good" attitude. I had a lapse. Just going to go back to the way things were. I don't think she was using her kids. We've (the kids and I) known each other too long. I know the BS they can pull. They don't like the new guy in her life and they have told me in no uncertain terms. I just told them that she is there mother, and they need to support her regardless of what they may think, That and "If they can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" speech. Thanks for the input. Hopefully I'll get more.

Well, I have ALWAYS heard from my ex's. There is not one that I can remember that hasn't contacted me at a later date. Most of them I was the Dumpee. With some we dated again, but others not. There was always an atration there again, but like the previous person said, you have moved on. I'm not giving up hope on my recent ex. There is always hope. I'm going to continue with the NC and work more on me. Good luck to all, and send some of that back to me.

Well, here I am agin. I went 1 month no contact and then had a run in with my ex. Her kids had called me to ask if they could come over to do some homework here and as her middle son put it "Your the only one smart enough i know who can help me". I always said that I would love to hear from them and was willing to help, so I did. Went to pick them up, and she was there, (had the day off from work). We talked, flirted a little, and made plans to get together Tuesday for lunch. Talked several more times that day and things seemed to be going well. Tuesday comes and she calls in the morning and says that she couldn't make it that day, but could we reschedule? Asked me to call her back, "please"(missed the phone call) and I did. Left a message saying that I was free on Friday and what about then? Didn't hear from her. Called two more times today, still no answer. I left 2 messages, both very nice, and in the last I said that I missed her. Still no word and I don't think I'm going to get the call I so much want to get. All I can say now is it's back to NC. If she wants to talk, she knows where to reach me. I can only control what I do, not what she does. God I still hurt.

Hey all I just wanted to say that I'm glad I found this web site. It's been good to know that I'm not alone in the universe. A little background. My ex and I split about a month ago, (ok, things were probably going south before that but I wasn't paying enough attention to notice) and the last scene that we had was ugly. There wasn't any pushing, shoving between us, but there was a little altercation between me and the guy she decided to replace me with. Nothing that would land me in jail, but still not good. I had gone 4 weeks with nc and I am doing really well. I took a good hard look at what I had done to let this happen, ( I can only take resposibility for my own actions, not someone elses). I am feeling strong and I had gotten a lot of poison out of my system regarding us. Earlier this week one of her kids had contacted me and said that he needed my help with some homework and that "I was the only person he knew who was smart enough to help him". He asked if he could come over to my house and have me help him. I told him that I had a light day friday and that I would come pick him up at about 11 AM. Later her youngest calls and asks if she could come too. I said sure, that would be fine. When I showed up. I found out that she was there. I called up the stairs and said "Are you Decent?". She said that she was on the phone and that she would be down in a minute. Realize that these are the first words that we have spoken to each other since I was screaming "If it's over, just tell me", and her saying "It's over". (ok, not proud of myself but what can I do). When she came downstairs we were both a little nervous and didn't know what to say. I decided that I would take the light hearted, everything is ok route. This worked wonders. In just a few minutes we were laughing and talking like nothing bad had happened. I didn't push, I didn't fall on my knees and beg her to come back, I was just me. The one that she had fallen for almost two years ago. We had a nice talk and I got to see her smile. That made my day. WHile the kids were getting ready, we just talked like normal people. (Ok, I flirted a LITTLE, but so did she). Then, out of nowhere, I decided to ask if we could have lunch next week and, to my surprise, she said yes. We set it up for Next Tuesday. I can say that I'm really looking forward to it. I know, I know, no relationship talk, and I don't plan on it. There is enough going on in both our lives that we should have plenty to talk about without touching that subjet. Since then she has called two times and all conversations were nice, sweet, and positive. Thought that I would share that with all of you. I know that we aren't back together, but I feel a lot better. I'm glad that I took sometime for myself with the nc. We'll have to see what happens over the next couple of months. I'm going to stay strong, not call insesantly, (if at all) and just go about working on myself. If this is meant to be, then it will happen. Stay tuned

I thought that it would be nice to hear some success stories here. There are a lot of us in the NC zone and I would like to hear how it went for other people. Did things work out, did you get back together? Let us all know how it went so we can continue to stay strong.

Ok, here's the deal. I've been NC with my ex now for 3 weeks, and a few days, (she left me).Being strong, and am not going to break it for another week. I decided that 1 mo is going to be long enough. Right now I'm sure that she's thinking that I hate her and don't want anything to do with her. (I know this woman very well. We were together for 18 mo). I'm just going to pop over to her work, stick my head in and ask if she would like to do lunch. If she says no, then I'll just say "ok, well it was nice to see you" and go on with the NC. My big question is, what do I do if she asks if I still love her? This is a real possibility. I'm torn because I will want to say yes (which is true), but I also want to get accross that while I do love her, I don't need her. I'm happy with my life as it is now, but I would be happier if she was in it. I've learned a lot while we've been apart about myself and what I really feel. So, any suggestions?

Ok, I'm going through the same thing that you are at this moment. Trust me, I know that it hurts. As they say, been there, done that. I agree with the no contact thing. I'm in my 3rd week at the moment and I'm doing really well. I admit I have my bad days and down times, but I'm sticking with it. YOU DO THE SAME! The advice about going out and getting exercise is a good one. It'll make you feel better, and it will show in your face and posture. Go out on three dates over the next month with some new people. This will help your confidence, and get you living again. Use this time to do things for yourself. Learn who you are as a person. YOU DON"T NEED ANYONE TO MAKE YOU WHOLE. YOU ARE A COMPLETE PERSON NOW. I understand that you love this person, and will till the day that you die, but that isn't any reason to stop living. Go no contact for 4weeks. Make a calendar and count down the days if you want, BUT NO CONTACT FOR 4 WEEkS, at least. Let them wonder about you for a change. Good luck