Ladies, Do You Ask The Man To Be Your Boyfriend??

[loveydovey]

Question: Do I wait for him to ask me to make a committment to me and to start a relationship? Or do I just take the plunge and ask him?

 

If you need additional details about my situation, I'd be happy to share

[1love2k5]

i think it's best if the guy asks you out that way, they can show their true feelings to you. i always let a guy ask me out because they want a chick to make up their mind what they really want out of a relationship. i think that's the best thing to do is to let him do the talking. you have to let him know what you want out of the relationship between the two of you. good luck!

[heloladies21]

If you want a relationship with him, you need to let him know. He most likely won't come to you with the question. Trust me, it's a guy thing.

[goddess23]

hey. well i think its fine to ask a guy out. but its probably best to llet him do the OFFICAL asking out. for example: my lil story lol. i liked this guy for a long time and it was obvious he liked me. we would flirt alot but i flirted more. and we would ask eachother "so who would you go out with if you could?" and we would both answer eachother like it was REALLY OBVIOUS and finally one day i could take it anymore and i told him i liked him. but i told myself im not going to ask him out. if he relaly likes me back he'll do that much. ive made my feelings clear and this way he can make his feeligns clear.

[Mun]

It depends how liberated you want to be...and do you know what his answer will be?

 

What I would do is say that I'm a relationship type person and I don't sleep around or have bed buddies. Also, make sure you are dating other people if you are not exclusive with him. If he doesn't want to share he will say something about it.

 

Once I was dating someone for a long time and at one point he said " you're not even my gf" ....when all his actions were typical bf actions. That really threw me for a loop and hurt me alot.

[jenyb]

I would tell him how you feel and then that should lead to him asking you on a date.

[jenyb]

Not a date, I mean it should lead to him to taking the next step.

[loveydovey]

Thanks all for the responses so far!

 

heloladies21,

jenyb,

I wasn't sure I wanted a relationship with him initially because I wanted to make sure I was prepared to let go of my inhibitions and give my heart again. But now I am and I don't know how to tell him.

 

muneca,

I'm almost positive (98%) what his answer will be . He and I are the same type of person and share similar values.

 

1love2k5,

I know exactly how he feels, but I'm so silly, I don't know how to get him to ask me again.

 

Basically, he put his feelings for me on the table and I told him that I didn't know what to say. So then he told me that he wants to go at a pace that I'm comfortable with; he said "Just let me be the uncomfortable one. I want to make sure you're comfortable." ohhh he's such a sweetie So we agreed. And, since then, we've gotten much closer and much more comfortable with each other and I find myself not worrying about the other guys I was sort of dating; he's out of town this week and I miss him terribly; I don't feel the desire to talk on the phone with any man but him. And then the realization hit me....I want to be able to call him my boyfriend and me his girlfriend. But I don't know how to go about this The last time me and a guy I was dating was at this phase, I was in high school.

 

So do I just tell him "______, I'm ready now!!"?

[DamagedImage]

Well I don't know what kind of guy you have your eyes on but I think if you like him enough and you wanna be fearless and are confident of his answer or just aren't afraid of his answer whatever it may be, go ahead and ask him out.

Some guys like that about girls, the confidence and so on can go a long way with the guys opinion of you, for the better most times

 

But if you want to wait it out that is fine too, but what if it gets to a point where he thinks you just want to be friends because no one will step forward and take the level towards a relationship. You might miss out. Or you could hint around it, become flirty but not um...easy flirty if you know what I mean, or drop other hints like awww look at that couple they're so cute *haha whatever else you can think of if the example I gave you was to girlie

 

I might just be extremely liberal on this matter but, take the chance

[Mun]

Hey if he already asked you and told you he would go at your pace then you can probably say you are ready to take it to the next step and he will be all for that with no issue.

 

Have Fun!

[moonunit]

personally i kind of liked when my fella (ex) out of the blue introduced me as his 'gf'. i was like wow. okay then i guess we're an official couple. it was sweet.

[loveydovey]

Wow, really? So I should just say in those words "_____, I'm ready to take this to the next step"? LOL. Okay, I'm like a 15 year old again. I'm getting all giddy inside.

 

Moonunit, that WAS sweet .

 

So if I say this, I wonder if he will then say, "Loveydovey, can I be your man". LOL. Okay, so I'm being super corny right now. But, hey I will try it either when I talk to him later tonight, or should I wait until we're in person since he's out of town?

[Mun]

In person is alot better in my opinion.

 

Have fun!

[Tigris]

If I'd waited for my boyfriends/husbands to ask me out I'd be still waiting. Some people think it should be the boy who asks you out, they're old fashioned. Today 'roles' are different. e.g. going dutch when out for a meal (paying for yourself).

 

Ask him out.

 

Good luck.

[xmrth]

I saw this article on MSN:

link removed

 

"Why the heck doesn't this guy make a move, already?

 

I have no idea. But if you're so interested in this guy, why don't you make a move?"

[Hephaestus]

I agree with DamagedImage about the hinting thing. However, some girls will make it too subtile and questionable for the guy to pick up on. He might begin thinking, How did she mean that?. Again, that won't give you the quickest results. He'll need something clear.

 

Not feeling brave enough for an outright confession? How about you work a little phrase like, "Yeah, but you like me." into a conversation. When he replies, you can ask him how me meant that. He'll probably say as a friend, but that opens up the conversation for hypothetical relationship talk.

[loveydovey]

Whew! It's over. Well we made it known the other night that we will only be seeing each other. He went to an event the other day where lots of couples were, and he told me someone asked him where his date was, and he answered, "My girl is back at home". So I asked him what does he mean by that....significant other? And, he said "yes ". So basically, I just took that and ran with it!! Lol.

 

Thanks everyone for all your suggestions!

[DamagedImage]

yay happy for you

[blondjeanyis2009]

Well, it could go either way. If he is brave enough he'll ask you out. Most of the time the guy does it. But guys like to be asked out too. Girls may think they have the easy part when it comes to relationships, but it could go either way depending on the guy. But if you get sick of waiting, just go for it. The worst he could do is say no, and its not really that big of a deal, there's lots of other guys waiting, and one of them "is the one" just wait!! Or go for it. Its your call!

hope that helps!

[loveydovey]

Update: We are separated now. It happened 2 weeks ago.

[ImThatGirl]

"Giggles" My boyfriend and I spend most of our time together, our actions have indicated we are in a serious relationship for awhile. I needed to hear it though - that we were in an exclusive, committed relationship. I try to use alot of small talk - don't want to scare him away nor do I enjoy long drawn out conversations all the time.

 

So I confirmed he wasn't dating anyone else. Confirmed that we both have mutual feelings for each other. Then we ended up joking around about whether or not we were boyfriend / girlfriend. We now refer to each other as boyfriend / girlfriend. It was a light conversation that confirmed that we are both on the same level.

 

Tell him you're ready. He sounds like a great guy and very approachable. Love the "let me be the uncomfy one, you need to be comfy." Sounds like something my boyfriend has said "let me do the worrying, you enjoy this."

[loveydovey]

Update: We are separated now. It happened 2 weeks ago.

 

Oops, forgot to give Another Update: We are together again (that separation last Sept only lasted a month lol) that's my honey and we still have a beautiful relationship that's going strong

[cfcommunist]

I have never been the one to take the initiative. I think it really depends on the situation. My first love practically draged me into a relationship, and i fell in love with her later, and my wife did pretty much the same. I guess it really depends on the person. I personally have never been good at dealing with people, espicially on emotional matters. I dont think it really matters who says it first tho.

[Eastend_Chic]

do they even ask anymore?

 

It's like nowadays people just assume.

[anggrace]

I see no problem with it. Just ask casually. No need to make a speech. I've said things like, "so, can I introduce you as my boyfriend?" or "Would you be interested in being exclusive? Cause personally, Im not interested in anyone else."

 

I just don't see why you shouldn't ask. It's good to be open, right? If he runs away, than you have your answer and you've saved yourself time.