Had two dates but he won't set plans to see me again

[rainbowsandroses]

1 hour ago, mayflower28 said:

What's funny is that he has actually messaged me an hour ago. It's still some chit chat though and now I think I should just wait for him to suggest a proper date. However, after all the things you guys have written in here I'm more hesitant to get involved. 

I'm curious what his message said "hey wattup?"  Lol

How did you respond?  

I agree with what catfeeder and Starlight just posted. 

[mayflower28]

48 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

We call that “bread crumbing”. 
Puts out a sporadic text just to see if you’ll respond so he can keep you in his Contacts. 
 
 

Yeah, seems like breadcrumbing. I don't get why people do that, if you're not interested just leave me alone. Attention is fun but honestly it's messed up to use someone for an ego boost if you're not into them. 

[mayflower28]

7 minutes ago, rainbowsandroses said:

I'm curious what his message said "hey wattup?"  Lol

How did you respond?  

I agree with what catfeeder and Starlight just posted. 

Actually he asked how my exams went and I responded, then I asked him how he's doing. His replies are really short, it makes no sense at this point. If he asks me something more I'll simply state I'll answer him to that when we meet & I'm gonna leave it at that. I ain't chasing that clown. Men, please for the love of god leave women alone when you don't intend to ask them out again. 

[Wiseman2]

10 minutes ago, mayflower28 said:

.Actually he asked how my exams went and I responded, then I asked him how he's doing. I ain't chasing that clown. 

Please try not to get upset or take it personally. Please keep in mind: He Owes You Nothing. 

You had 2 dates. He planned and treated you on both of them and now he's a clown?

Please reflect on your extreme reaction and excess anger. Maybe it's time to take a break from dating? Things fizzle out, it happens. Take a deep breath. 

[Capricorn3]

Dumb question here but, is he still on his trip? Has he been home for the last five days?

[kim42]

49 minutes ago, mayflower28 said:

Actually he asked how my exams went and I responded, then I asked him how he's doing. His replies are really short, it makes no sense at this point. If he asks me something more I'll simply state I'll answer him to that when we meet & I'm gonna leave it at that. I ain't chasing that clown. Men, please for the love of god leave women alone when you don't intend to ask them out again. 

Maybe he's planning to ask you out when he comes back from his trip. I don't think he's a clown but if this doesn't work for you, you can simply stop talking to him.

 

[yogacat]

3 hours ago, mayflower28 said:

What's funny is that he has actually messaged me an hour ago. It's still some chit chat though and now I think I should just wait for him to suggest a proper date. However, after all the things you guys have written in here I'm more hesitant to get involved. 

This is on you to scale it back when you're feeling unsure. If he's leading with he'll show you photos, then he's assuming you will see each other. So I wouldn't worry too much. But yeah, it's kind of a red flag that he seemed mad when you were..busy? Now he's busy so give it a bit of breathing room. 

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, mayflower28 said:

Actually he asked how my exams went and I responded, then I asked him how he's doing. His replies are really short, it makes no sense at this point. If he asks me something more I'll simply state I'll answer him to that when we meet & I'm gonna leave it at that. I ain't chasing that clown. Men, please for the love of god leave women alone when you don't intend to ask them out again. 

You're not in person -simply tell him you're too busy to text and if he wants to set up another time to meet to contact you then.  He's doing nothing wrong - you are if you don't want him texting you randomly -you have control over whether or when you text with him.

[Starlight925]

Why is he breadcrumbing?  Because he can keep you (and possibly several others) in his phone rotation, so that whenever he wants company, he has easy access to willing participants.

After this few dates, this much analysis is an indicator to cut this one loose.

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, mayflower28 said:

. Men, please for the love of god leave women alone when you don't intend to ask them out again. 

Please be responsible for your role in this. No one had a gun to your head to date him, let him pay for everything, or go out with him.

He's not "using" you.... for anything. He did "leave you alone"...for 5 days and you flipped out. 

If you are not ready to date, hurt from the past, have excessive baggage or just hate men in general, please take a break. 

[LootieTootie]

Nobody has a crystal ball why he hasn't asked you out yet. But if your gut feeling says this man isn't that into you, then be brave to speak up:
"Hey I know you're on vacation. But I really like to get to know someone in person and not over texting. Let's reconvene in person once you get back ;-)"

Then start to steer that direction with little or no texting back. See if he actually wants to plan the next date/meet that isn't at his house. If he isn't engaged in that dialogue then at least you know.

 

[yogacat]

Care less.