Forever Alone?

[Tinydance]

2 minutes ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

First of all such a relationship wouldn't be acceptable due to my religious beliefs. 

The only acceptable love relationship would be marrying a woman but that means I would also have to have children. 

Well this is the other constraint as well due to your religion, rather than your disability. No disrespect at all to your religion by the way. I think unfortunately even the religious commitment can make dating options limited unfortunately. For example, I had a colleague at work from a certain traditional country and religion. She was only allowed to date men from her background. I live in Australia though so this woman was an immigrant and could only date other immigrants from her home country basically. She liked other guys but she wasn't allowed to be with them. Eventually she got an arranged marriage but it didn't work out. So she was single ever since to my knowledge.

[TheRideNeverEnds]

2 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

Totally!

I get that completely.

Like, why bother when it's just going to be another day of pain and sadness, right?

But you know what? Those things are going to be there anyway, so why not make the most of what you can do?

I paint, I write, I chat online.

Hey, it's better than sitting and crying, you know?

Limitations aren't great, and yes, it's hard not to be angry at God, the world, people who have their health.

But just keep in mind that it's not anyone's fault.

It's just crap luck and how your life story went.

Do I know why yours went that way, or why mine has gone this way? Nope.

But as long as I am still on this earth, I'm going to try to do something half decent with the life I still have left.

Despite what you're going through, I can still hear a lot of determination in your words, a lot of feisty-ness.

You've got a lot of spirit in you yet!

Find any activity that brings you any kind of happiness, doesn't matter what it is.

Could be music, watching your favorite shows, or movies, try painting or writing! 

Write about your experiences with Chronic illness.

You have no idea who much that is actually interesting to some people and how much it helps others who are struggling like you are.

 

I will not lower my standards even if it means to be alone until I die that's for sure. 

[Tinydance]

1 minute ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

I will not lower my standards even if it means to be alone until I die that's for sure. 

Well that's your choice and you're totally allowed to make it. But then you shouldn't complain about your own choices. 

[TheRideNeverEnds]

1 minute ago, Tinydance said:

Well this is the other constraint as well due to your religion, rather than your disability. No disrespect at all to your religion by the way. I think unfortunately even the religious commitment can make dating options limited unfortunately. For example, I had a colleague at work from a certain traditional country and religion. She was only allowed to date men from her background. I live in Australia though so this woman was an immigrant and could only date other immigrants from her home country basically. She liked other guys but she wasn't allowed to be with them. Eventually she got an arranged marriage but it didn't work out. So she was single ever since to my knowledge.

Yeah better to die single and holy than to defile yourself die and burn in hell for eternity. 

[SherrySher]

Just now, TheRideNeverEnds said:

I will not lower my standards even if it means to be alone until I die that's for sure. 

If you are determined, then keep searching for that person.

You have all the time in the world while being sick....so keep looking for them.

There are billions of people in this world.

It's not that they aren't out there, it's that you haven't found them yet.

[TheRideNeverEnds]

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Well that's your choice and you're totally allowed to make it. But then you shouldn't complain about your own choices. 

I can choose against God but then I will burn in hell, and might be punished even more here.... 

I've sinned too much in life already. 

[Tinydance]

5 minutes ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

Yeah better to die single and holy than to defile yourself die and burn in hell for eternity. 

 Burn in hell for having an online relationship? Iol Which religion do you follow if you don't mind me asking? You said the online relationship is against your religion because you'd have to marry the woman. For what reason would you need to marry her? For example, in Christianity it's a sin to have sex if you're not married. But since you wouldn't be having sex if it's not in person, you have a very good loop hole there lol

[TheRideNeverEnds]

Just now, Tinydance said:

 Burn in hell for having an online relationship? Iol Which religion do you follow if you don't mind me asking? You said the online relationship is against your religion because you'd have to marry the woman. For what reason would you need to marry her? For example, in Christianity it's a sin to have sex if you're not married. But since you wouldn't be having sex if it's not in person, you have a very good loop hole there lol

Nah you can't just have a girlfriend forever either, you must one day marry. 

[Wiseman2]

2 minutes ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

I can choose against God but then I will burn in hell, and might be punished even more here.... 

Are you in a hospice, nursing home or other long term care facility? How long have you been there? Were you injured or are you suffering from a chronic debilitating disorder? Can you receive visitors? 

Why won't you consult with some of the support staff about your feelings? Most such facilities have mental health as well as spiritual support teams. You posted this under "dating advice" and that is confusing. 

[Tinydance]

Just now, TheRideNeverEnds said:

Nah you can't just have a girlfriend forever either, you must one day marry. 

Well you can send the marriage papers by mail and sign them. I think you're actually just trying to come up with any excuse as to why you would never have a relationship. Some of them don't even make that much sense.

[TheRideNeverEnds]

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

Well you can send the marriage papers by mail and sign them. I think you're actually just trying to come up with any excuse as to why you would never have a relationship. Some of them don't even make that much sense.

No it would have to be a church marriage, marriage in church 

[Tinydance]

2 minutes ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

No it would have to be a church marriage, marriage in church 

You said you are only sometimes bed ridden, not always? You could be in a wheelchair and get a lift to church and sign them. Also, maybe that relationship might start online but the person might want to move to you and be with you in person. Seriously if you watch the You Tube Squirmy and Grubs, the guy with disabilities has a hot wife lol

[TheRideNeverEnds]

2 minutes ago, Tinydance said:

You said you are only sometimes bed ridden, not always? You could be in a wheelchair and get a lift to church and sign them. Also, maybe that relationship might start online but the person might want to move to you and be with you in person. Seriously if you watch the You Tube Squirmy and Grubs, the guy with disabilities has a hot wife lol

Oh and I suffer from same sex attraction. 

[SherrySher]

Suffer?

Sounds like your religion isn't too keen on being gay.

Nothing wrong with being gay.

I could literally sit here and discuss it with your for hours on why I believe religion is wrong in that regard.

[Batya33]

2 hours ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

So, it seems I will always be lonely, and never find love because of my disability. 

I'm often bedridden, and too tired to do much in life. 

I'm also suffering from chronic pain. The question is why do some people claim anyone can find love? 

How if you can't be an asset to a future partner but a liability? If you have no money, no own place (care facility) no energy, no health, no special looks, nothing? 

That's my question, why do some people insist anyone can find love? 

I don't. Not romantic love that leads to a long term relationship (no guarantees of having that in one's life) and I don't think love is found. Love is mostly a verb -loving is giving. 

I cannot imagine what you go through. I could not imagine what my friend went through who was a paraplegic the last 25 years of her life (she died a few years ago -yes she gave a lot of love and got it back -just as she did prior to her tragic accident).  Also I recommend the documentary called Murderball - from 2008 - it's inspiring to see what those men with severe disabilities did with their lives.  Perhaps it will inspire you.  Good luck.

[Batya33]

20 minutes ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

Nah you can't just have a girlfriend forever either, you must one day marry. 

This sort of thing and your self defeating thoughts are actually more of a disability. 

[TheRideNeverEnds]

14 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

Suffer?

Sounds like your religion isn't too keen on being gay.

Nothing wrong with being gay.

I could literally sit here and discuss it with your for hours on why I believe religion is wrong in that regard.

 

Then argue with God not with me, I'm sure all those Rules are sensible. 

[TheRideNeverEnds]

12 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I don't. Not romantic love that leads to a long term relationship (no guarantees of having that in one's life) and I don't think love is found. Love is mostly a verb -loving is giving.  I had a friend who became a paraplegic in her 20s.  She - suffered so much including mentally.  But she rallied, she gave a lot of love -through her contributions at work helping others with disabilities, through the same smile she had when I knew her as a teenager (same age), to her therapy dogs as a fur mom. 

She gave to her friends and family -gave her ear, her advice, her friendship.  I never found out if the woman who lived with her the last number of years was also a romantic partner -she was heterosexual when I knew her and I know in the last 5-10 years of her life they were very very close but I'm not sure of the nature of their relationship.  

She passed away a few years ago.  She was remembered with love, she gave love, she was an asset to so many.  And yes -her family - went through so much helping her after the accident, for years, yes she needed a special home/car/all you can think of and more when one has this severe disability.  

I cannot imagine what you go through. I could not imagine what my friend goes through.  Also I recommend the documentary called Murderball - from 2008 - it's inspiring to see what those men with severe disabilities did with their lives.  Perhaps it will inspire you.  Good luck.

Was she a faithful Christian? 

[Batya33]

29 minutes ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

Was she a faithful Christian? 

That's none of your business and -- to me -- totally irrelevant.  From my understanding people with Christian values (or other religious values) value kindness and generosity and thoughtfulness without regard to whether that person is Christian, a faithful Christian, atheist, or otherwise.  Right?  For example as with many years in the past I gave again to my office's toy drive. The toys are for Christmas presents for foster children in my state.  I have ALWAYS been thanked by the hard working co-workers who organize this effort and wrap the gifts.  I have NEVER been asked what my religious background is as far as judging whether my participation is based in religion, morals, ethics or simply wanting to do something nice however small. 

[TheRideNeverEnds]

1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

That's none of your business and -- to me -- totally irrelevant.  From my understanding people with Christian values (or other religious values) value kindness and generosity and thoughtfulness without regard to whether that person is Christian, a faithful Christian, atheist, or otherwise.  Right?

 

Well, i guess if its true ignorance one could maybe be saved and judged by his deeds, but usally, faith in Jesus is at minimum necessary for salvation.

[Coily]

Have you considered a monastic life?

I had a freind who was a double amputee, had pancreatic cancer, constant pain, and he was engaged 3 times before he kicked off the mortal coil.

[TheRideNeverEnds]

3 minutes ago, Coily said:

Have you considered a monastic life?

I had a freind who was a double amputee, had pancreatic cancer, constant pain, and he was engaged 3 times before he kicked off the mortal coil.

 

monasticism is only for able bodied. 

[Coily]

2 minutes ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

 

monasticism is only for able bodied. 

Have you discussed that with a monastery?

[TheRideNeverEnds]

 

1 minute ago, Coily said:

Have you discussed that with a monastery?

 

No? You think anyone can just become a monk or what? Thats not how this works. 

[Coily]

1 minute ago, TheRideNeverEnds said:

 

 

No? You think anyone can just become a monk or what? Thats not how this works. 

Since you haven't discussed it with a monastery, how do you know?  And NO, not anyone can become a monk, you have to have humility and piety. Then every order is different, with different requirements.