Unsure about a popular guy that I would like to approach

[katya]

There is one guy at my school who I have had been looking at a lot since he started at my school a couple months ago, who I sometimes have classes with, and I have always wanted to approach him.
However, he is very very good-looking - I would say unusually good-looking, even compared to other very good-looking guys - so there have been girls who have shown interest in him since day one, and I have heard a few of them ask him if he wants to meet during weekends and so on.
I would of course like to try talking to him, and see if I like him as well, but it feels almost impossible to find him alone, since he always is in the company of girls who either hang out with him, or sit around him.
Is there some way for me to get his attention, so that he thinks I am somewhat special, rather than just another admirer in the bunch?
I know that guys think I am cute and beautiful and all of that, but he is always hit on by beautiful girls.

[Capricorn3]

9 minutes ago, katya said:

There is one guy at my school who I sometimes have classes with, and I have always wanted to approach him.

Seeing that you have some classes together, make contact that way. Ask about the lessons or projects etc.  That way he'll notice you.

[katya]

2 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

Seeing that you have some classes together, make contact that way. Ask about the lessons or projects etc.  That way he'll notice you.

Thanks, I will try.
I just hope he won't think I am merely asking him about it to get the answers for it, and that he understands that I am trying to hit on him.
All girls who talk to him are flirty towards him, like always, so that is normal to him.

[lostandhurt]

53 minutes ago, katya said:

so that is normal to him

There you go right there.  Don't be like the other girls.  When you talk to him about homework or whatever be yourself and don't be overt.  Smile and laugh if he makes a joke but don't push yourself on him.  Give him a chance to reciprocate as well.  You talk to him a little and then let it go and see if he notices you more and says hi.  Attractive people can have a hard time making a connection too so don't think just because he has a bunch of girls following him around they are his type or he is truly interested.

Lost

 

[Capricorn3]

56 minutes ago, katya said:

Thanks, I will try.
I just hope he won't think I am merely asking him about it to get the answers for it, and that he understands that I am trying to hit on him.
All girls who talk to him are flirty towards him, like always, so that is normal to him.

You can flirt too, but don't overdo it.  Sometimes the quiet ones get noticed more - keep a little mystery going 😉

[katya]

Yes, I will give it a try next week. ^-^

I have noticed that the other girls seem to more or less put him on a pedestal, like they are acting as if it is an amazing privilege to talk to him;
they aren't actually saying that, of course, but they act a lot like that, like constantly treat him as the center of attention, fidget and act nervous when they are around him, seem insecure of themselves and so on.
I guess he might be a bit bored by those approaches.

[lostandhurt]

Maybe he likes the strong confident type of girl.  Be brave and have a plan and then don't overthink it, just go for it before you get nervous.

He is just a boy that won the DNA lottery is all.  Heck he may be a boring knuckle head once you get to know him.

  Best of luck and let us know what happens

 Lost

[katya]

1 minute ago, lostandhurt said:

Maybe he likes the strong confident type of girl.  Be brave and have a plan and then don't overthink it, just go for it before you get nervous.

He is just a boy that won the DNA lottery is all.  Heck he may be a boring knuckle head once you get to know him.

  Best of luck and let us know what happens

 Lost

Yeah, I mean he seems very charming and likeable, out of what I have seen of him, and I do feel that I would like him a lot if I learned to know him.
He has very beautiful eyes that express both confidence and warmth, and he has a kind and humble smile.

There have been a few awkward moments when I have been standing and checking him out without even fully realising it myself, and standing there and slowly biting my lower lips while looking at him with large dreamy eyes, and I always feel a bit embarrassed when he catches me doing it, since I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable or anything, and I always look down on the floor when he notices me.
I hope that he hasn't got a bad impression of me from that, although I have shown quite subtle signals there, so there hasn't been anything over-the-top, so to speak.

[Capricorn3]

May I ask how old you are?

[katya]

5 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

May I ask how old you are?

I am 19, and he is 20.

[Capricorn3]

6 minutes ago, katya said:

I am 19, and he is 20.

Oh, ok. Thank you.  It's just when I read  ".... and standing there and slowly biting my lower lips while looking at him with large dreamy eyes",  I thought someone much much younger (sorry), lol.

[katya]

3 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

Oh, ok. Thank you.  It's just when I read  ".... and standing there and slowly biting my lower lips while looking at him with large dreamy eyes",  I thought someone much much younger (sorry), lol.

It has only happened a couple times, and I don't fully realise it, haha.
The thing is, he is serious eye candy, so it is hard to avoid looking at him and getting lost in thought like that - I guess the subtle lip biting behaviour is caused by the nervousness and elevated heart rate that I feel in those situations (it isn't something that I do on purpose) - but I try to avoid doing it.
It shouldn't have been something that has bothered him, though.

[Wiseman2]

7 hours ago, katya said:

Is there some way for me to get his attention, so that he thinks I am somewhat special, rather than just another admirer in the bunch?

It's fine to have a crush. However if you want to not get lost in the crowd, do the exact opposite of what you're doing now.

Stop staring at him. Be friendly as you are to anyone else, but start talking to and paying attention to other boys. Instead of hyperfocusing on him,  like another nervous fan. Develop some confidence and talk to other guys.

This has two important purposes. One is you'll become less shy and more popular, another is he'll notice you're not like the other fawning girls.

But most of all you'll open your mind and your eyes to other nice guys. He probably doesn't want to date a fan. So don't act like all these other girls.

[Batya33]

Other than his eyes look humble what do you like about him -what do you have in common? Is your primary interest based on what he looks like? I was far more like that when I was your age and it got me into some upsetting situations. I'm not a model and never was lol.

When my friend was your age in college she had a mad crush on a hot guy in the fraternity -I think she was in the little sisters group? 1980s.  She was not hot.  She told me she basically showed up where ever he was -at his sports activities, at parties, etc -not at all in a stalking way -she participated in all the activities - whether watching a game or going out after etc.  They were together 3 years until he slept with her best friend/roommmate.  She and I were not in close touch back then (I met her when we were 14 and still in touch, we're late 50s) but my sense was she was always more into him than he was into her.  She so badly wanted to marry him.  He I believe eventually married her roommate. 

So for sure if this gorgeous guy dates  you make sure you're not putting him on a pedestal either and let him come to you at least halfway!!

[smackie9]

I agree don't be like those other girls that are pawing all over him. Being less available is more desirable. 

TBH any girl that talks to him, he knows he is liked. that's a given, so it won't make much difference what you do or don't do. 

[rainbowsandroses]

11 hours ago, katya said:

There have been a few awkward moments when I have been standing and checking him out without even fully realising it myself, and standing there and slowly biting my lower lips while looking at him with large dreamy eyes,

Bolded, unless you were sleepwalking and someone else told you afterwards, my take is you were very aware of what you were doing.

Stop doing these things.  Biting your lip?  Come on, that's just too obvious.  And for goodness sakes STOP staring at him.

If you want him to think you're 'special,' then stand out, be different, stop acting like all his other groupies and leave him alone.

I do NOT advise approaching him or doing anything overtly to get his attention.  

If he's as good looking as you say, he's NOT shy or nervous, he knows he's attractive and that girls will chase him making utter fools out of themselves and HE doesn't have to do a damn thing. In his mind, big fat YAWN.

Yes he's bored and his ego is most likely the size of a small planet as well.

Why you would even want a guy like that is beyond me, but since you do....

Let him notice you on his.own, which since I assume he's not blind, he will and IF he's interested, he will wonder why you're not falling all over his arse like other girls and make some effort to meet and talk you.

If he doesn't, let it go.

Do not chase him, just don't do it.  Be different. 

You should be sweet and reciprocate when he makes effort, show your interest that way. 

This advice is for initial stages, if or when you actually begin dating and get into a relationship, you can begin initiating and making effort.

Covertly AND overtly.

There is a popular saying "We tend to value more the things we have to work for a bit."

Since YOU already value him based on his looks and status at university, this would apply to HIM.

[Jaunty]

Stop being concerned about the other girls.  The only thing that will really matter is if he wants to get to know you.  So do talk to him about the classes you have in common and if there is something that you really find interesting in there, let him get a sense of what interests you.  Get to know him beyond what he looks like and his popularity and let him get to know you too.

Be aware that he might just love the attention of many girls and not really be interested in picking one out, whether it's you or somebody else.  

[MissCanuck]

I feel like some variation on this post shows up every few months. 

Always about some girl wanting the most popular boy in class, but all the other girls fawn all over him and she's just playing coy on the sidelines.

It reads like fanfic, honestly. 

[rainbowsandroses]

45 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

It reads like fanfic, honestly. 

It reads that way to me too.  But I opted to respond just in case it wasn't.

 

[Wiseman2]

16 hours ago, katya said:

 I have been standing and checking him out without even fully realising it myself, and standing there and slowly biting my lower lips while looking at him with large dreamy eyes, and I always feel a bit embarrassed when he catches me doing it

Unfortunately this comes across as creepy. Please say hi like you would to any other classmate, then walk away and talk to other classmates.