She cheated and got pregnant

[Mike300]

For many months my girlfriend was determined to get pregnant and made me do all sort of things to make it possible. She made us both do fertility tests, I had to stop smoking, and we took vitamins every for about 3 months. One day, I came home from work we had dinner and at bed time she told me that she was pregnant. One day I came home, she made up a argument with me, and then casually told me that she had taken a pill and was in a middle of a abortion. 
I believe that the baby was not mine, because why would she make all kinds of efforts and be desperate to have my baby, and all of a sudden get pregnant and do a abortion without talking to me first. Since the abortion she as been happy again and keeps suggesting for us to have a child in the near future.

My plan is now to find a new place to stay and leave her without any notice, she will simply come home one day and find out that I’m gone forever.

[Coily]

She could have been faking the pregnancy, could have cheated, could have had a miscarriage. That said this doesn't sound like a very healthy relationship no matter how you slice it. It sounds like you both will do better for this relationship to be done and over with.

Curious as to why you need to leave so surreptitiously? Is she a bit stalker-ish or would try to stop you?

[Mike300]

Last time we argued she called the police to kick me out the house, without any reason. I agreed to leave but she still called the police on me. And she did do abortion by taking the abortion pill and she’s still going through the abortion process 

[Coily]

Definitely be long gone.

[boltnrun]

Do you feel this relationship is solid and secure enough to bring a child into it? Babies don't "fix" relationship issues. It's not their job, plus the added stress usually makes things worse, not better. 

[Wiseman2]

26 minutes ago, Mike300 said:

Last time we argued she called the police to kick me out the house, 

 How long have you been dating? Is it her place? Definitely move out. Last thing you need is a police record. Whether she's cheating or not, who knows. But once the police is escorting you out the door, it's over.

[Mike300]

11 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Do you feel this relationship is solid and secure enough to bring a child into it? Babies don't "fix" relationship issues. It's not their job, plus the added stress usually makes things worse, not better. 

[Mike300]

I don’t think it’s solid due to her being dishonest. I’m actually glad she did the abortion, because she would completely destroy my life with lies and cheating.

[Mike300]

17 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

 How long have you been dating? Is it her place? Definitely move out. Last thing you need is a police record. Whether she's cheating or not, who knows. But once the police is escorting you out the door, it's over.

We be dating for a year. Yes it’s her place, I’m currently looking for a new place to live. I agree, that’s no comeback from that.

[lostandhurt]

She sounds unstable.  Ignore the cheating/pregnancy thing and focus on these drastic mood swings.

 Your plan sounds like a good one, just disappear one day.  What ever you do DO NOT GET HER PREGNANT!

Good luck

Lost

[Mike300]

Thank you for your insight.

[SooSad33]

4 hours ago, Mike300 said:

Since the abortion she as been happy again and keeps suggesting for us to have a child in the near future.

Yeah, this is really odd!

You don't speak of it, have it then rid of it IF that is what you wanted! 😕 

So, No, do not keep 'trying' with her. She sounds really off imo.

 

[Seraphim]

Run far away and stay gone . 

[MissCanuck]

4 hours ago, Mike300 said:

One day, I came home from work we had dinner and at bed time she told me that she was pregnant.

Was this confirmed with a doctor's appointment? 

4 hours ago, Mike300 said:

And she did do abortion by taking the abortion pill and she’s still going through the abortion process

Wait, how long ago did she take this pill?

 

[Kwothe28]

3 hours ago, lostandhurt said:

She sounds unstable. 

This. Between pregnancy and abortion, and her even calling a police on you, dont think you should involve yourself with somebody who is that unstable and quite possibly had an abortion because of that, and not because of cheating. Where did you even get idea she cheated? I mean its a possibility, but nothing you said implied that aside you saying it because of abortion.

[Mike300]

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

Was this confirmed with a doctor's appointment? 

Wait, how long ago did she take this pill?

 

She took the pill about 2 weeks ago, she  has been bleeding, and even had to go to the Hospital due to side effects of the pill. 

[Mike300]

1 hour ago, Kwothe28 said:

This. Between pregnancy and abortion, and her even calling a police on you, dont think you should involve yourself with somebody who is that unstable and quite possibly had an abortion because of that, and not because of cheating. Where did you even get idea she cheated? I mean its a possibility, but nothing you said implied that aside you saying it because of abortion.

She has multiple male friends, and she sits at the local cafe all they on her laptop while I’m at work. She has poor boundaries in general, and gets very irritated when I question some of her friendship with some of this guys. She also told me her past two boyfriends suspected of her cheating but obviously didn’t had called the evidence. It’s her lack of boundaries and dodgy past.

[lostandhurt]

4 minutes ago, Mike300 said:

It’s her lack of boundaries and dodgy past.

Even more reason to make a break for it.  Find a couch to sleep on until you get a proper place to live but get out of there asap.

Lost

[boltnrun]

6 minutes ago, Mike300 said:

She has multiple male friends, and she sits at the local cafe all they on her laptop while I’m at work. She has poor boundaries in general, and gets very irritated when I question some of her friendship with some of this guys. She also told me her past two boyfriends suspected of her cheating but obviously didn’t had called the evidence. It’s her lack of boundaries and dodgy past.

And you want to have a baby with this woman?

I agree it's time to go your separate ways.

[Kwothe28]

44 minutes ago, Mike300 said:

She has multiple male friends, and she sits at the local cafe all they on her laptop while I’m at work. She has poor boundaries in general, and gets very irritated when I question some of her friendship with some of this guys. She also told me her past two boyfriends suspected of her cheating but obviously didn’t had called the evidence. It’s her lack of boundaries and dodgy past.

Ah, I see. Thanks for a clarification. Yes, there is a good possibility she is cheating.

So, with unstability and that, you should run as much as you can from her.

[Wiseman2]

34 minutes ago, Mike300 said:

She took the pill about 2 weeks ago, she  has been bleeding, and even had to go to the Hospital due to side effects of the pill. 

Please move out asap. All this is irrelevant once someone calls the police and has you removed from their house. 

[shouldhavelearned]

Get out and don't look back 

[MissCanuck]

8 hours ago, Mike300 said:

It’s her lack of boundaries and dodgy past.

So, why did you try to start a family with her? 

[NUNA]

Its only 1 year relationship why she wants to get pregnant too early

[Skatterbunny]

Women who are trying for a family and go to the effort of tests and vitamins and such do not just go taking abortion pills so easily and without ANY input from you?? That is your child too! The one you were both involved in making. So the fact that she did this without even discussing it with you first is shocking! A child is one of life's major events and she ended that chance for you without any input? How would life be when other major decisions come up.? You don't get a say? Sounds to me like you could be right. She did the maths and figured out she couldn't convince you that it was yours and had to opt out incase you figured it out. Or the father was black and your not maybe. Either way you deserve someone who's truly honest and committed to you to have children with. She is not the one. You will know when you meet the right person it won't be this much pain and effort. Good luck. Xo