I went to the carnival and realized how lonely I really am

[lilyofdavalley]

So basically there's this carnival in town and I was volunteering there with someone from school I kinda knew, and we talked, and then we went our separate ways at like 8 30 pm, so I went to look for some of my friends who were in the carnival.

I couldn't find them, so I decided to go in the ferris wheel line with my dad, and then a few girls from school I kinda know came up to me in the line and we talked, and they asked me if I wanted to go on The Viper with them, but I didn't want to be a bother to them or to my dad so I said no.

Then me and my dad went on the ferris wheel together, but then it hit me, that no other 8th grader in the carnival was with their parents, and I could feel people's eyes on me and I know they were probably thinking that I'm a lonely loser who had to go with her dad to the ferris wheel. 

I don't mean to sound like I'm ashamed of my dad, I love him, but I just feel really really sick and really sad because of the whole thing. I haven't told my dad about how I felt, but I told him I wanted to go home and now I'm crying a lot. Am I overreacting or being a brat? Please advise.

[NighttimeNightmare]

I think that’s a pretty normal social response, given your age. you’re at the age where kids grow up and form their own circles away from home and become independent

your friends did invite you to go with them, though. So you’ve got people to hang out with if you want, right? It wasn’t as if no one wanted to spend time with you - quite the opposite. So you have choices 

 

there’s things you can do with your dad but also make room to hang out with your friends apart from him 

[MissCanuck]

3 hours ago, lilyofdavalley said:

I could feel people's eyes on me and I know they were probably thinking that I'm a lonely loser who had to go with her dad to the ferris wheel. 

It's very unlikely that people were that interested in what you were doing. 

And I don't mean that as an insult, either. We tend to assume people care a lot more about us than they do in such situations. This comes from a place of insecurity rather than objective fact.

3 hours ago, lilyofdavalley said:

a few girls from school I kinda know came up to me in the line and we talked, and they asked me if I wanted to go on The Viper with them

Keep this in mind - these girls wanted you to join them. I can understand why you declined given that you were already with your dad, but it's not as though nobody has a social interest in you. They apparently do. 

How often do you see your friends in general? 

[Batya33]

9 hours ago, lilyofdavalley said:

Then me and my dad went on the ferris wheel together, but then it hit me, that no other 8th grader in the carnival was with their parents, and I could feel people's eyes on me and I know they were probably thinking that I'm a lonely loser who had to go with her dad to the ferris wheel. 

My son is in 9th grade and may have felt the same -overly self conscious- way. I agree so much with Miss Canuck.  As his parents we try to be hands off in situations like that -like, I stand a distance away when his school bus arrives (no he can't go to the stop himself but I make myself scarce) and if his friend shows up at the stop I step away so I'm not listening to their conversations.  When he was away last weekend for his first ever sleepover (I know -at age 14!) we were a little worried but we did NOT check in with him or with the parents -we wanted him to see and feel that we were not "hovering" and to work stuff out on his own.  If he texted us we responded but kept it short.  Maybe talk to your parents about how maybe next time it's best if you not go to a social event like that so close by to your parents (meaning maybe they have to drop you off or pick you up but that's more typical). 

Tell them you want to kind of spread your wings as long as it's safe like at the festival.  Our son had to ask us for more independence in certain situations. 

You are not a loser!!!

[lilyofdavalley]

8 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

How often do you see your friends in general? 

Pretty much every day

[lilyofdavalley]

2 hours ago, Batya33 said:

Maybe talk to your parents about how maybe next time it's best if you not go to a social event like that so close by to your parents

I mean I could but I just want to know whether when I go to school tomorrow, people are going to think of me as weird and a loser, and if riding on the Ferris wheel with my dad essentially ruined everything

[Batya33]

14 minutes ago, lilyofdavalley said:

I mean I could but I just want to know whether when I go to school tomorrow, people are going to think of me as weird and a loser, and if riding on the Ferris wheel with my dad essentially ruined everything

Read what Canuck wrote. I agree with her. 

[Capricorn3]

9 hours ago, lilyofdavalley said:

I mean I could but I just want to know whether when I go to school tomorrow, people are going to think of me as weird and a loser, and if riding on the Ferris wheel with my dad essentially ruined everything

They're probably just disappointed that you declined joining them after they asked you. Just explain that you would have felt bad for your dad if you joined them.  It's really not such a big deal.

[lostandhurt]

Not a big deal and not the end of the world.  You are over thinking this into something that it really isn't.

School will be school so just act like it never happened and if someone brings it up tell the truth.

As far as you not wanting to be a pain to the group of friends that invited you goes.  Where is this coming from?  They invited you and weren't forced to invite you so how come you think you are not worthy or liked enough to join the group?

 Lost

[Cherylyn]

In the future,  take your friends up on it and join them.  Don't miss future opportunities to be with a few girls you know from school. 

Don't be self conscious even though it's easy to do.  Most people don't care what others are doing especially at an amusement park.  They're too busy having fun and going on rides.  No,  you're not an overreacting brat.

If you have good communication with your dad have a discussion with him preferably in person.  Hopefully,  he'll give you moral support.  Chin up! 🙂