How can I decode her mixed signals?

[EdwardM]

I asked a girl out from Tinder, but she turned me down. I'm wondering why and what I should do next. 

1. We've been talking all night and sharing everything, even personal stuff like family and past relationships. We both come from the same hometown and share common interests, so I thought we'd be a good match.
2. She sends me pictures through an app that the images can only be viewed once, like food or selfies, sometimes just part of her face. I saw this as a positive sign, like she was playing hard to get. I've been sending her pictures too, mostly daily stuff like a cup of coffee or clouds that look like a heart. 
3. We've been flirting, and it didn't seem like she was rejecting my advances. Sometimes she'd even say sweet things to me.

If you need more information, I can provide it. I initially thought she was interested, but now I'm a bit confused. Am I too bored for her? Should I try being more forward with her? Any advice would be appreciated.

[MissCanuck]

6 minutes ago, EdwardM said:

Should I try being more forward with her?

No. She's already declined your date invitation so there's no sense in pursuing this. 

7 minutes ago, EdwardM said:

I'm wondering why and what I should do next. 

The only thing to do next is stop communicating with her. She's wasting your time. 

It sounds like she just wants attention from you but is not actually interested. Some people are like this, unfortunately. They will talk to whomever because it boosts their ego to know someone likes them, even if the interest isn't mutual. 

9 minutes ago, EdwardM said:

ometimes she'd even say sweet things to me.

You can't take this seriously from someone you have never met. 

In the future, don't get swept up in chats and sharing personal things with a stranger. Make a date, and if the other person says no, stop all contact. 

[Kwothe28]

34 minutes ago, EdwardM said:

I initially thought she was interested, but now I'm a bit confused.

Because you met a "time waster". Somebody who would keep you there(for attention or something else like maybe money or favors) but has no intention of dating you. If they turn off your invitation to meet, just delete and block and move on.

[Mae886]

I think it depends on how she rejects your invitation. For me, if she didn't give me a reason that was too outrageous or unreasonable, and I was still interested in her, I would try to invite her up to maybe three times. If the rejection continues, I will give up and stop spending time with her.

3 hours ago, EdwardM said:

2. She sends me pictures through an app that the images can only be viewed once, like food or selfies, sometimes just part of her face. I saw this as a positive sign, like she was playing hard to get. I've been sending her pictures too, mostly daily stuff like a cup of coffee or clouds that look like a heart. 

I think sharing life is a good sign. If it is someone I am not interested in, I will not spend time with her or interact with her at all, but I thought Tinder cannot send photos. I am just curious, what kind of app is this? 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, EdwardM said:

. We both come from the same hometown and share common interests, so I thought we'd be a good match.

Unfortunately this could be a scammer or catfish. If someone refuses to meet in a timely manner, it's a red flag. 

A typical maneuver is to move things to Whatsapp. You've never met this person and have no idea if they're really from your hometown. That's another typical scammer and catfish ploy. 

Please delete and block this entity. Get a good profile and pics on quality PAID dating apps and start communicating with real life local women. 

[Cherylyn]

It doesn't matter why you were rejected.  The fact is that she turned you down so get her message loud and clear and move on without her.  She isn't worth dwelling upon.  Return the favor by losing interest in her, too.  🤨

[EdwardM]

I'm surprised that I received so many reply. Thanks for all advice. 

I wanted to provide an update on my situation. I understand logically that I should probably move on and explore other options, but she mentioned that she's not keen on rejecting me. She mentioned being a bit hesitant about meeting someone from a dating app and expressed a desire to take things slow. Could this be a sign that she might actually have some interest in me?"

[EdwardM]

21 hours ago, Mae886 said:

I think it depends on how she rejects your invitation. For me, if she didn't give me a reason that was too outrageous or unreasonable, and I was still interested in her, I would try to invite her up to maybe three times. If the rejection continues, I will give up and stop spending time with her.

I think sharing life is a good sign. If it is someone I am not interested in, I will not spend time with her or interact with her at all, but I thought Tinder cannot send photos. I am just curious, what kind of app is this? 

If the person you rejected keeps inviting you, would you feel annoyed? 
Tinder can't send photo, but we're using an app called YOSO, which is basically a photo link. 

[Wiseman2]

41 minutes ago, EdwardM said:

. She mentioned being a bit hesitant about meeting someone from a dating app and expressed a desire to take things slow. 

Unfortunately refusing to meet is a red flag. Especially if she's on a hookup app anyway.

Most scammers try to develop rapport first, this is the stage you're in now. Please read up on romance scams.

https://consumer.ftc.gov/articles/what-know-about-romance-scams

[Capricorn3]

54 minutes ago, EdwardM said:

If the person you rejected keeps inviting you, would you feel annoyed?

Yes, absolutely.

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, EdwardM said:

 Tinder can't send photo, but we're using an app called YOSO, which is basically a photo link. 

This makes no sense. Tinder is based on pics and geodating. Hopefully you also realize that photo links are often used to install malware on your devices.

So communicating with someone who doesn't have pics on tinder and uses third party apps to send you vague pics is at best catfishing but most likely scamming.

Why would you even swipe right on someone who doesn't have a photo? Hopefully you realize that tinder is about 78% male and has hordes of escorts and scammers.

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, EdwardM said:

but she mentioned that she's not keen on rejecting me. She mentioned being a bit hesitant about meeting someone from a dating app and expressed a desire to take things slow.

Oh, that changes a lot. Not.

If they refuse to meet from whatever reason, you just block and move on. 

[MissCanuck]

2 hours ago, EdwardM said:

She mentioned being a bit hesitant about meeting someone from a dating app and expressed a desire to take things slow. Could this be a sign that she might actually have some interest in me?"

No, not in this case.  It just means she's weighing out other options (read: other guys) and you are who she might see if her other choices don't materialize. 

Seriously, Edward. Don't waste your time on someone like this. 

2 hours ago, EdwardM said:

If the person you rejected keeps inviting you, would you feel annoyed? 

I would feel incredibly annoyed and as though he's not listening and not respecting my choice. I would also think he's a bit desperate. Don't go this route. 

[MrMan1983]

Standard day in the life of tinder dating, if someone won't set a date and is wasting your time then move onto the next. As for the weird picture messaging app, what's the point main goal is to set a date. Also women have about 100000 matches so it's more difficult as a guy to nail down a date.

May I also recommend trying something like Hinge instead of Tinder? In my personal experience I have had much more luck on there with better quality dates and it's a bit more interactive with quiz questions, anecdotes and you can express yourself a bit better. It allows you to stand out a bit more in your own way. In fact I don't go near Tinder anymore.

[Kwothe28]

55 minutes ago, MrMan1983 said:

Standard day in the life of tinder dating, if someone won't set a date and is wasting your time then move onto the next.

When I was on Tinder I used to have a habit that after day or two of messaging say: Hey, I am coming to your town(I rarely got matches from my small town usually got close to it) for something, can we see over weekend?". It "weeds out" a lot of them when they start having excuses like "Oh we dont know each other well" and such. Sadly lots of them are using Tinder and such apps for attention and not to actually date. They would message and respond but not actually meet you. 

[smackie9]

There are a lot of names for girls like that C0#$ tease, attention w^0%$, etc. She's using you. Know the difference. If it's confusing, they are not interested.