Acquaintance gives blank look

[Superstickyone]

I've had a few conversations and one outing with a person.  Something odd happens though.

I will bring up something in my life (nothing too deep) that happens.  Examples:  I went to a class, running, shopping or what have you.  I have noticed she does not respond sometimes and looks straight forward with no response.  I listen to her plenty so it's not like I hog conversations.

What are other people's take on this?  There is a weird silence that feels uncomfortable.  I have not experienced this with anyone else.  Most people at least look at you and nod, or respond in another manner.

I feel quite uncomfortable 😕 and wonder why a person would act this way!

 

 

 

 

[MissCanuck]

It sounds like she is not interested in hearing about your life. 

 

[Kwothe28]

Lots of people wont be interested in your life. They would need you to listen to them and be "the sponge" no matter what they say, but they wont be interested in hearing what you have to say. Its not that out of the ordinary. All people need somebody to listen to them. But not all have an ability to listen back. 

I wouldnt hang out with that person anymore.

[Seraphim]

Some people hear better when not looking at a person . Looking at people is just a neurotypical thing and not all people do it. 

[Batya33]

When you bring it up is it in context or is it a topic you know she's interested in? I have a work friend and we became personally friendly but mainly about one subject -books -and specifically a particular genre.  We are mutually interested in those conversations and we'll bring up other books we're reading and sometimes in a different genre.  It's all good and fun and interesting.  I am positive that if I told her "oh and I also went to the gym today and saw someone walking backwards on the treadmill!!" she might politely respond -not be "blank" but it would be a nonstarter while a different friend would immediately ask a follow up question.  

My friend is interested in my life as far as the books I am reading.  My mom is interested in my whole life but -truth -she is 88 and she is now most interested in my son's goings on and antics - she misses him so and wants to hear all about him through me.  At those times if I go on about me again she'd likely say nicely "yes and how is [her grandson.]". And I get it!

[Wiseman2]

Sometimes people are preoccupied or simply listening or not that interested. That's ok this was just an acquaintance, so who knows why she was distracted or glazed over .

[tattoobunnie]

16 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

Most people at least look at you and nod, or respond in another manner.

Might just be neurodivergent.

[Cherylyn]

I've known people like this such as some extended relatives and some other people who are non-related. 

They're preoccupied with their own thoughts about themselves, their lives, what they need to do that day or in their future and not focused on you.  They don't care about your class, running, shopping nor are they interested in engaging in superficial chatter nor any topic you broach.  Or, perhaps they find you boring.

It sounds like this acquaintance doesn't have potential to become friend material.  If I were you, I'd back off and reduce this person to a "hello" person and then continue about your day and life.  Don't cultivate, nurture nor maintain a acquaintanceship nor friendship with a person who doesn't engage with a level of interest, eye contact and common courtesy because it won't work.  This person is inconsiderate and rude.  A person like this is a waste of your time and energy.

[Superstickyone]

Thanks for all your input!  I'd does appear she is not that interested in my life at various times.  We are very different regarding interests.  She likes doing puzzles, watching hockey and sports.  I am into yoga, health and fitness, nutrition and 🧘‍♀️ meditation. In fact she said "I don't know anyone else who goes to yoga so much as you".  It's obvious she thinks I'm a weirdo and doesn't approve.  

Best not to engage with her further. 

 

 

 

 

[Batya33]

Just now, Superstickyone said:

Thanks for all your input!  I'd does appear she is not that interested in my life at various times.  We are very different regarding interests.  She likes doing puzzles, watching hockey and sports.  I am into yoga, health and fitness, nutrition and 🧘‍♀️ meditation. In fact she said "I don't know anyone else who goes to yoga so much as you".  It's obvious she thinks I'm a weirdo and doesn't approve.  

Best not to engage with her further. 

 

 

 

 

Right -I'm not sure why you've invested this much time in it when you already know you have very different interests AND she's not interested in learning more about yours. I don't operate that way - I often like learning about interests I might never partake in but like learning/hearing the anecdotes.  I have friends who are writers, cyclists, theater people, scientists, artists, travel agents - it's interesting to hear about other people's hobbies and interests and if I'm not interested and the person is really intense about that interest then either we talk of other things or we stop being in contact.  

She sounds like she likes to keep her world small and is content to engage only when it has to do with her interests. 

[Cherylyn]

I've also known people who will only engage in a conversation with you if the conversation is about them and revolves around them only.  The second the conversation no longer focuses on them whether it's about you or someone else, they want to end the conversation with you because they're disinterested.  They couldn't care less about you or what you do in your life.  They don't wish to discuss anything except themselves.  They're a very selfish lot, self-centered and self-serving.  Dump people like this.

[tattoobunnie]

18 hours ago, Superstickyone said:

Thanks for all your input!  I'd does appear she is not that interested in my life at various times.  We are very different regarding interests.  She likes doing puzzles, watching hockey and sports.  I am into yoga, health and fitness, nutrition and 🧘‍♀️ meditation. In fact she said "I don't know anyone else who goes to yoga so much as you".  It's obvious she thinks I'm a weirdo and doesn't approve.  

Best not to engage with her further. 

Another neurodivergent quality.  Misinterpreting or not picking up on social cues, and full-on honesty.  Instead of working on your insecurities, you look for ways to make her seem like a bad person.  All friends and loved ones can have different interests, but you still show up and support them.

[Superstickyone]

We don't click at all.  I realize people can have different interests and that can be stimulating to hear new topics.

The problem is that she has no interest whatsoever in my interests.  Frankly, I am not a hockey or puzzle fan (her interests) either.  However I would at least listen when she spoke of them - to be polite.  

I'm concluding there is no connection with this person and it's in both of our interests to stop going for coffee.  If someone finds you boring- so be it.  Not a good fit for her or me.