heartsouls Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 I wonder if there are others who can relate to what I'm going through. I grew up in a somewhat unconventional family structure. My parents provided for me and my brother - - that is, they made sure we were enrolled in a good school, that we had our school supplies, that we had food, and clothes. Growing up was a routine focused on going to school, doing homework, and doing the same thing through the years. However, as I got older, I began to realize something was off. There was no emotional component to our interactions. We grew up poor so we had no clue that more affluent families had the luxury to go on vacations together during their off time. In fact, because we had no clue of this, we really didn't feel like we were missing this until we became aware that our peers had these in between school years. When my brother and I started to become more aware of how other families functioned, we began to notice clearly that my parents were on survival mode...only focusing on school and what they can afford to give us. Anyway, we got by. I'm now in my late 40's and I'm now in a situation where I'm taking care of my elderly mother who is 82. In terms of her care, I have a good plan for this and I am taking action to make sure that we stay on top of medical appointments and just making her life as comfortable as possible. Now, my biggest struggle is that I think sub-consciously, I have this frustration that we often do not communicate very well. English is her second language and so sometimes she can't find the best words to describe her ailments or her pain level. When we do have to figure something out, we are able to figure it out after maybe 30 minutes of trying to understand what she wants to express (if I were talking to someone my age, it would take maybe 5 minutes). Now, I know that I have to be considerate of her age and that her cognition is slowing down...but at the same time, I feel that perhaps because of the way I grew up with my parents showing no emotional support at all, that this is adding to my frustration when I communicate with her. I'm working on this now because I want to make peace with this part of this situation but I wanted to know if anyone else can relate? Thank you. 🙂 Quote Link to comment
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