Chapter 3

[Batya33]

6 hours ago, Jaunty said:

I have family members in academia here in the US.  One of them, an archaeologist, has many published books and a medal of honor from the country where she made her discoveries.  

Another one teaches at a well known medical school.  

Neither of them has a team of any number of people that help them with fund raising.  Yes, their presence contributes to fund raising but they are still mainly working at their professions.  

Maybe it depends on the field.   

Me too and same.

[Kwothe28]

On 4/21/2024 at 7:10 AM, dias said:

Plus, with all those unstable women there with sh*tty behavior I will start resenting women in general which is really bad.

Yes, yes, join the dark side!!!!

Joking lol. There are all kinds of it. Good and bad. I was bad with matches but had luck regarding dates. They didnt went anywhere too meaningful but havent encountered crazies. They were OK I guess. One I had on FB even married last year I think. Saw pics of it.

Anyway, you travel a lot or are you bound to Miami? Because from what Ive heard about Miami(or even California since you mentioned some woman from there) it isn’t exactly good dating market for men. So, no wonder your dates and experiences are that awful. For example Ive heard all those women who go to those podcasts and say all kinds of dumb and entitled things, are “Miami woman” type. “How much you earn and are you 666 man” type of women. 

[dias]

On 4/22/2024 at 7:19 AM, Jaunty said:

Yes, their presence contributes to fund raising but they are still mainly working at their professions. 

Obviously, the person I mentioned works on his profession too. He is doing research himself & has a team of PhD students but also needs to "sell" his discoveries and raise funds at the same time. I never said he is only occupied with looking for funds. It's like running a business, you sell your work/product/services/research. 

I imagine not every field is the same. Aerospace engineering is important to the US government for multiple reasons. I don't think archaeology would benefit the government that much. However, medicine must be important too. 

The difference in academia between the US and Europe is, there is no practical application usually in Europe. They do research most of the time for the sake of research. In the US you need to provide practical results most of the time. I mean, you have to if you want to stay number 1. 

[Batya33]

Just now, dias said:

Obviously, the person I mentioned works on his profession too. He is doing research himself & has a team of PhD students but also needs to "sell" his discoveries and raise funds at the same time. I never said he is only occupied with looking for funds. It's like running a business, you sell your work/product/services/research. 

I imagine not every field is the same. Aerospace engineering is important to the US government for multiple reasons. I don't think archaeology would benefit the government that much. However, medicine must be important too. 

The difference in academia between the US and Europe is, there is no practical application usually in Europe. They do research most of the time for the sake of research. In the US you need to provide practical results most of the time. I mean, you have to if you want to stay number 1. 

That's not the case -to the extent you describe - and I know many professors.  That likely is specific to the field of study and the school -for example I would imagine what you wrote is more true of schools like MIT and Caltech, etc. But your friend sounds interesting with interesting work!

[dias]

On 4/22/2024 at 6:26 PM, Kwothe28 said:

Anyway, you travel a lot or are you bound to Miami? 

I am back to Greece now. Miami is awesome but not for dating, for everything else. For dating is a cesspool. 

The last date I mentioned was from a local woman here from Athens. Everywhere is pretty much the same in big cities around the world. 

[dias]

1 minute ago, Batya33 said:

That's not the case -to the extent you describe - and I know many professors.  That likely is specific to the field of study and the school -for example I would imagine what you wrote is more true of schools like MIT and Caltech, etc. But your friend sounds interesting with interesting work!

Yes mostly I am talking about the top universities and the top professors. It was a bad generalization if this is how it came across. 

 

 

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, dias said:

Yes mostly I am talking about the top universities and the top professors. It was a bad generalization if this is how it came across. 

 

 

No worries! It could be among certain top universities especially like MIT and CalTech.  As you can see on the news a number of universities are now facing much bigger issues unfortunately. Very tense around here!

[dias]

Yesterday was a good day, left the house in the morning and came back midnight. 

I went to the shooting range where I got my membership card finally! Now if I wanted to own a gun I had to visit the psychiatrist one time to verify I am "sane" and it's done! It's actually a lot easier than I expected. That's why although carrying/owning guns is not allowed, you hear on the news that there was a scuffle and someone got shot. It's not difficult to get a gun legally. I don't want to own a gun for many reasons. First I don't go to the shooting range that often, I like shooting but I find it too static for me, I like activities that involve movement. Second having a gun in my house it's not a good idea, imagine if my parents barged in at night and I thought they were burglars. Moreover, I would have to cut drinking completely, I only drink socially but when I drink whiskey I can easily scuffle with a tramp who tailgated me or something. People behave differently when driving, I think they feel safe inside a car hence the bravado. Problem is you never know who the other person is and if he has a weapon. It happens all the time. Owning a gun is a bad idea for multiple reasons, I have no actual use for it anyway. I am happy I got my membership card though. 

I also joined a second hip-hop team, it's for the more "advanced" but last Saturday I was walking by the dance school, I went inside to chit-chat a bit and the teacher asked me to try it for fun. What the heck I said, I joined and I liked it, I liked the teacher. So I went yesterday as well. She asked me if I wanted to join the choreography for the performance in the summer. I am already in the choreography with the other team I don't know if I can handle two. It means more preparation/practice at home and I am not sure I have that much time. I will think about it. I like the teacher and the choreography though. I might join. 

It's strange, from all the activities I have tried as an adult I believe hip-hop is the one I like the most. I exclude working out, I don't count it as an activity since for me it's as necessary as breathing, I can't live without it. However, compared to the other activities I like hip-hop the most and I think it's because it's basically cardio. Also, I happened to find this school which has good people in general. I visited 2 other schools before but I didn't like their style/attitude. I am very difficult when it comes to people, I like simple down to earth people. I was searching online for a school last year, I saw this one, I called and I knew from the first moment I would like it when I heard the voice of the teacher. She was simple, polite, no attitude, no annoying sales-pitches. Turns out I was right. The good thing is that we usually attract people like us so most of the people in the school are like this. 

I wish I had started hip-hop 15 years earlier. If I ever have kids (which obviously is not going to happen lol), I would send them straight to break-dance and hip-hop lessons. You can only benefit. 

I also went for a walk on the beach and then meet a friend yesterday. Yesterday was a good day. Work has taken the back-seat for now with all those activities, at some point I will have to catch up, maybe after the summer. I think it's time for me for the first time in my life to put work on the back-seat and enjoy other things. 

Plus, I deleted the dating apps and the internet browsers from my phone and I have to say my life is wayyyyyyyyyyyyy better. I met a childhood friend I hadn't seen in years. He said his girlfriend has a single friend and we could go at a restaurant all together to get to know her. Let's see. I really have no expectations, I am fed up with all the flaky people. I am not going to waste more time chasing indecisive women. If they want they want, if they don't want I really don't care. 

To be honest, being single right now has no real disadvantages. I have spells of loneliness sometimes but other than that, I have everything else. My quality of life is practically the best it can be. As long as the sun is shining, can drink a nice iced cappuccino and I can exercise I am happy. 

 

 

[Batya33]

That all sounds great and so - productive not just practically but emotionally. I feel the same about my daily workout and -it can be an "activity" depending on the context I think -like if you travel and do a run in a new location and get to sight see while doing it (I power walked-for me it's very close to a running speed-  in December in monument valley out west -I think that was what it was called) it was also an activity because I got to see the valley at sunrise.  

In the city I live in now gun ownership is a real thing -never will be a thing for me - but unlike when I was growing up I was  told here from the time my son was old enough to have playdates where he'd be in another room with his friend to ask whether there were guns in the home and if so how they were secured.  It's -incredibly awkward -but in the 10 times or so I've asked it's been received totally fine (every time the answer was no and I also sometimes ask about their dog, etc - often the parents tell me about their pets in case of allergies, comfort level, etc).

[dias]

Nice beat for choreography... Young Alicia Keys was a stunner, mixed-race beauty,

 

 

[mylolita]

On 5/1/2024 at 2:18 PM, dias said:

Nice beat for choreography... Young Alicia Keys was a stunner, mixed-race beauty,

 

 

Wasn’t she JUST! 
 

x

[dias]

What clothing choices say about you? https://www.psychologistworld.com/body-language/psychology-of-clothing-dating-dress 

"Firstly, let's consider the idea of how we seek to 'impress' potential partners. A study by Joseph Benz at the University of Nebraska surveyed more than 90 men and women with regards to the way in which they deceive potential partners whilst on dates. The researchers found that both genders tend to use deception when dating but for different purposes.

Males were found to try to impress their dates by emphasizing the security that they could offer the partner - for example, by exaggerating their financial position or by trying to demonstrate a preparedness to commit. Women, however, were deceptive with regards to their body image, exaggerating physical features in an effort to appear more attractive to their date"

Certainly I was not a participant in this survey because I do none of those hahaha. How they draw conclusions on this studies only God knows hahaha. 

It's an interesting topic. For me I know what works and what does not when it comes to clothes. I know that I look great on suits for instance but it's too much. I remember I used to wear some nice fancy wall street type shirts and trousers when I worked in London and I came across like I was a CEO of a global corporation which was quite the opposite as I made basic salary hahaha. You really need to have some money even if you want to pretend you have money hahaha, I was getting by with noodles those days lol. It's funny because in some big corporations you see people dressed so formally and exquisite whilst they make sh*tty money but when you see them in the street you might think they are rich lol. 

For me how it works is the more money I make the simpler my clothes get. Nowadays, my best outfit is a pair of jeans and a nice simple shirt. And this is only for dates. 90% of the time is either jeans and T-shirts or joggers and T-shirts. I look good in gym clothes. Well, I exercise a lot so it makes sense I wear gym clothes most of the time. 

Women who like guys who dress well all the time wouldn't be for me. I am far too plain. There are a few occasions where I encountered acquaintances (both men and women) where I was with joggers at a cafeteria or something and I could see how they looked at me hahahahahahahaha. Or with corporate guys who looked me with contempt (while they didn't know I make more than them hehe). Life is a b*tch though, I have also encountered the same people at the beach, guess who was laughing then hehehehehe. I care about what really matters, how you look without clothes, that's what matters. I always laugh when I meet these people at the beach, especially the guys who have never exercised seriously in their lives and look like hairy pasta. Their expression is money! 

Men need to look presentable on the first dates otherwise all the chicks would leave lol. It's more about showing that you cared enough to make some effort. Dressing up for a date for men it's work believe me. Although I have never been on a date where the woman was not dolled up I think it wouldn't be a turn off for me (given she didn't look like a homeless of course or smelled bad etc etc). Hygiene is a huge turn off, regarding clothing choices I really don't care. I mean if a woman has nice butt for example, joggers are sexier than jeans in my opinion. I guess bottom line for me is just exercise to look good for real hahaha

 

[yogacat]

44 minutes ago, dias said:

Hygiene is a huge turn off

I use to curl up in a ball and inch my way behind my ex after he worked a long day. He had not showered and I would nudge my face in his underarms, I dunno, something about the scent of a him after a long day that just drove me wild.

But, I don't think I would be lifting men's arms on first dates and say "hey I love the smell of your pits" if he smelled. lol