Is this okay?

[gsxr104]

Consider the source. There may be some exceptional qualities about him that we're not aware of; However, given the few commentaries that you've described, it doesn't sound like anyone you want to invest your time in. Just my opinion. 

[Wiseman2]

You are making it "ok" by sticking around. It's that simple.

[princess34]

I just want to know if I am being rational or not and not overreacting. I  also do not have anyone to discuss and share my feelings with. He gets mad easily as well. He always makes others angry by stating his bold opinions and talking down to others and calling them stupid and other demeaning names. Sometimes he will be talking in  a normal fashion with me and then he would lash out and just flip like a light switch. He has told me that he does not understand me when I speak sometimes, mentioning how I talk too fast. It's like I have to be on eggshells and make sure that I do not make him mad about anything, because he will seem to snap about trivial things. He said that back in the day he always used to be on edge ready to fight others. 

[MissCanuck]

34 minutes ago, princess34 said:

I just want to know if I am being rational or not and not overreacting

If anything, you are under-reacting. 

This is not a good man. It's concerning that you need others to confirm this for you, when there are plenty of very clear indicators. 

Have you had good bofyriends before? You seem to have trouble identifying red flags, which makes me wonder what your dating history is like and if you've had healthy relationships before. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, princess34 said:

It's like I have to be on eggshells and make sure that I do not make him mad about anything, because he will seem to snap about trivial things. 

More lists of complaints. It's 11 mos. Now you're claiming he's abusive.

You're question is "is it ok?". Every day you stay with him condones his behaviors.  You're the one making it "ok".  You're putting him on a pedestal and playing victim voluntarily.

Stop making laundry lists of complaints then doing nothing about it. You have friends and family you can talk to. You also have the freedom to walk away whenever you want.

[gsxr104]

3 hours ago, princess34 said:

I just want to know if I am being rational or not and not overreacting. I  also do not have anyone to discuss and share my feelings with. He gets mad easily as well. He always makes others angry by stating his bold opinions and talking down to others and calling them stupid and other demeaning names. Sometimes he will be talking in  a normal fashion with me and then he would lash out and just flip like a light switch. He has told me that he does not understand me when I speak sometimes, mentioning how I talk too fast. It's like I have to be on eggshells and make sure that I do not make him mad about anything, because he will seem to snap about trivial things. He said that back in the day he always used to be on edge ready to fight others. 

Re-read everything after your second sentence. Is this the foundation of a relationship that you're eager to pursue?

[Batya33]

Understand if you are with him when he treats others rudely or worse you may be swept up in any confrontation that results even though you're just "with him".

[Tinydance]

4 hours ago, princess34 said:

I just want to know if I am being rational or not and not overreacting. I  also do not have anyone to discuss and share my feelings with. He gets mad easily as well. He always makes others angry by stating his bold opinions and talking down to others and calling them stupid and other demeaning names. Sometimes he will be talking in  a normal fashion with me and then he would lash out and just flip like a light switch. He has told me that he does not understand me when I speak sometimes, mentioning how I talk too fast. It's like I have to be on eggshells and make sure that I do not make him mad about anything, because he will seem to snap about trivial things. He said that back in the day he always used to be on edge ready to fight others. 

Sounds like someone emotionally unstable and abusive 

[boltnrun]

Can you list any reasons why you love this man and why you want to be in a relationship with him?

Other than "but I LOVE him!!!", please.

[Andrina]

On 8/17/2022 at 2:33 AM, princess34 said:

Another thing too is that he always talks about how he used to get a lot of women and how no woman has ever rejected him. He even told me that he prefers "bold" women who come on to him or approach him first, which is the total opposite of my personality. Matter of fact, I did not approach him first nor have I ever offered myself to him, or any man for that matter. The women that he call hot are mostly celebs, although he has mentioned about the numerous gorgeous women he has had in life. He also told me about how women used to offer him their bodies and how neither him nor any other man would ever turn women down in that manner., mentioning how it is hard for men to turn down a woman who offers their bodies.

What people speak of is what is on their minds. So what is on his mind is his harem. This is like a weird, objectifying obsessive way of thinking.

So in this brief blurb about him, he has mentioned women, none of them being you, eight times.

Someone who objectifies women, and makes that subject a major topic of his discussions--how is he appealing to you? Aren't you bored, repulsed, annoyed, wondering why he's stupid to the fact that you don't enjoy hearing about his musings about exes and female strangers he encounters in daily life?

You say you have nobody to talk to about your problems. So are you so starved for company that you didn't leave him as soon as you saw the red flags?

He saw you as the perfect prey--someone who is isolated, lacks the self esteem to ensure her own well-being, and puts up with his extreme, mental flaws. Prove him wrong.

[princess34]

On 8/19/2022 at 3:45 AM, Wiseman2 said:

More lists of complaints. It's 11 mos. Now you're claiming he's abusive.

You're question is "is it ok?". Every day you stay with him condones his behaviors.  You're the one making it "ok".  You're putting him on a pedestal and playing victim voluntarily.

Stop making laundry lists of complaints then doing nothing about it. You have friends and family you can talk to. You also have the freedom to walk away whenever you want.

I have appreciated all of your insights that you have given. 

 I am not on here to simply make a list of laundry complaints, but just to detail about my situation so that information would not be limited so that one can fairly assess the situation. If I were to give advice or insight about a matter, I cannot base my opinions off of limited info. I am not putting him on a pedestal. How would you know that I have friends and family that I can talk to when I am a complete stranger to you? This is an open forum and message board for "Relationship advice." I can choose to view and listen to anyone who posts or vent about their issues because people have the space and a right to do so. Rather than being obsessed with having the last word, if you are frustrated or annoyed by my posts, the simple thing to do is to stop responding.

 

[catfeeder]

On 8/19/2022 at 2:33 AM, princess34 said:

I just want to know if I am being rational or not and not overreacting. I  also do not have anyone to discuss and share my feelings with. He gets mad easily as well. He always makes others angry by stating his bold opinions and talking down to others and calling them stupid and other demeaning names. Sometimes he will be talking in  a normal fashion with me and then he would lash out and just flip like a light switch. He has told me that he does not understand me when I speak sometimes, mentioning how I talk too fast. It's like I have to be on eggshells and make sure that I do not make him mad about anything, because he will seem to snap about trivial things. He said that back in the day he always used to be on edge ready to fight others. 

I can only speak for myself, and all of these would be dealbreakers for me.

I view relationships as lifting one another UP. Anyone who angers easily other tears others down doesn't qualify and would belong nowhere in my life.

Head high, and I hope you'll respect your Self enough to ditch this dude. You will thank yourself later.

[Wiseman2]

On 8/21/2022 at 2:28 AM, princess34 said:

How would you know that I have friends and family that I can talk to.

You certainly have a life outside of him and before him, so there must be other people in your life to talk to.

My suggestion is simple. You're not married or living together, so you're free to walk away and be happy.