Why do some men become territorial over a woman they aren't dating? Especially when he's already in a relationship?

[PinkCherryx]

This guy cheated with me a couple of years ago. We had sex once while  he's  been in a relationship. (it's bad I know) I usually see him  where he works because he works at a store that I go to. A couple of months ago when he saw me talking to another guy (his coworker) he  came over to where we were and interrupted our conversation. He overheard this guy name Rick (his coworker) telling me that he had done something fun.  And   then he came over and stood between us saying  (how was it?) I  don't  know  why he would do this.

[Batya33]

Because some people -men and women - want another person not to date anyone else even if they are not interested in dating the person -just in case they change their minds.  He's not being "territorial" as you are not property. You are a human.  My husband would not do this if he saw me talking to another person -that would be rude and he trusts me.  People who trust each other rarely need to behave in a rude way to assert that they are committed to a person.  This person cheats on his girlfriend with you and most likely others.  So I would spend zero time analyzing why he does the things he does or says the things he says.

[Wiseman2]

15 minutes ago, PinkCherryx said:

This guy cheated with me a couple of years ago. A couple of months ago when he saw me talking to another guy  he  came over to where we were and interrupted our conversation.

 Are you hoping it means he's still so into you? Stop shopping at his store. Find your own single available decent BF rather than hanging out in the guy's workplace creating drama.

[MissCanuck]

Because he has a big ego and is immature. 

Stay away from men like this. They're bottom-of-the-barrel.

[PinkCherryx]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

 Are you hoping it means he's still so into you? Stop shopping at his store. Find your own single available decent BF rather than hanging out in the guy's workplace creating drama.

That's not why I'm asking and I have been shopping at this store for years. Even before I ever started talking to him. Talking to other people isn't creating drama. There shouldn't be any problems he's in a relationship and shouldn't care about what I'm doing with someone else.

[MissCanuck]

9 minutes ago, PinkCherryx said:

There shouldn't be any problems he's in a relationship and shouldn't care about what I'm doing with someone else.

So just ignore him, then. 

Easy. 

[Wiseman2]

20 minutes ago, PinkCherryx said:

 There shouldn't be any problems he's in a relationship and shouldn't care about what I'm doing with someone else.

Lot's of "shoulds" But the fact is you are desperately seeking attention from him, chasing him. Why?

[Capricorn3]

This was a couple of months ago. You're trying to read into something which really wasn't there.  Simply talking to his colleague and you. Absolutely nothing unusual.  Sounds like you're hoping it's a sign he's into you, or something.

[PinkCherryx]

30 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

This was a couple of months ago. You're trying to read into something which really wasn't there.  Simply talking to his colleague and you. Absolutely nothing unusual.  Sounds like you're hoping it's a sign he's into you, or something.

How am I trying to read into something that wasn't there? He saw me talking to the other guy and he came over and starter talking. It's not unusual for a guy to interrupt a conversation? Oh ok.

[PinkCherryx]

37 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Lot's of "shoulds" But the fact is you are desperately seeking attention from him, chasing him. Why?

I'm desperately seeking his attention by talking to another guy? I wouldn't be talking to another guy if that were the case. 

[Wiseman2]

4 minutes ago, PinkCherryx said:

I'm desperately seeking his attention by talking to another guy? I wouldn't be talking to another guy if that were the case. 

Ok you win. He's still madly in love with you, wants you desperately and will leave his GF for you based on your one hookup. He will chase away all the eager competitors for your grand  attention like a knight in shining armor. He wants you very badly, it's clear.

[PinkCherryx]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

Ok you win. He's still madly in love with you, wants you desperately and will leave his GF for you based on your one hookup. He will chase away all the eager competitors for your grand  attention like a knight in shining armor. He wants you very badly, it's clear.

I never said he was madly in love with me nor did I say he would leave his girlfriend for me. I think you're the one reading too much into this. 

[Kwothe28]

Some people are just like that. I have a friend who is like that. And not even about the girls he was with(that would actually be "no-no" territory) but about the girls he just talked with. If he ever had the intention of doing something with the girl, he gets mad for you even talking to her even years after he talked to them. Its like he peed on the girl and marked territory like some animal. I have a feling your ex is like that. He maybe even doesnt plan anything. But you are still "his" in his mind. So his colleague cant have you. Its like a kid who once had a toy. But even when he doesnt want to play with toy anymore, he gets mad when other kids want that toy. Its just childish behavior and you should stay away from somebody who views you like that.

[PinkCherryx]

5 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

Some people are just like that. I have a friend who is like that. And not even about the girls he was with(that would actually be "no-no" territory) but about the girls he just talked with. If he ever had the intention of doing something with the girl, he gets mad for you even talking to her even years after he talked to them. Its like he peed on the girl and marked territory like some animal. I have a feling your ex is like that. He maybe even doesnt plan anything. But you are still "his" in his mind. So his colleague cant have you. Its like a kid who once had a toy. But even when he doesnt want to play with toy anymore, he gets mad when other kids want that toy. Its just childish behavior and you should stay away from somebody who views you like that.

He's not my ex but yeah I get what you're saying I've had several people tell me this.

[Rose Mosse]

2 hours ago, PinkCherryx said:

This guy cheated with me a couple of years ago. We had sex once while  he's  been in a relationship. ….

 

 And   then he came over and stood between us saying  (how was it?) I  don't  know  why he would do this.

The exact same reason why he cheated on his girlfriend and had sex with you. He’s selfish, self-absorbed, me me me type. Sees something, reacts impulsively. That’s what he is.

[smackie9]

He's a narcissist. They hate losing and are very insecure, have delicate egos. He saw you talking to another guy, and automatically he felt defeated or wronged is some way. So he went over there is flex his status on the guy to show whos boss. It's all about them and nobody else. That's why they play by their own rules and are cheaters...self entitled a holes. This guy never cared about you, doesn't care about his bf...only himself. 

[Capricorn3]

16 hours ago, PinkCherryx said:

 It's not unusual for a guy to interrupt a conversation? Oh ok.

No. Not unusual for anyone to interrupt a conversation.  It probably happens a billion times to all of us across the entire world.  Human nature etc.  Sure, in many cases it's not the best manners, but certainly happens to all of us every single day.  Doesn't mean anything.

 

[Wiseman2]

Bozo-chasing is a good habit to get out of. Stop going to his place of employment.

[MissCanuck]

If this guy has a girlfriend and is of such low character that he cheats on her - why do you care?

I am going to assume that you hope he still wants you. 

[PinkCherryx]

5 hours ago, Wiseman2 said:

Bozo-chasing is a good habit to get out of. Stop going to his place of employment.

I'm not sure why you keep saying I'm chasing him. When he's the one interrupting when he sees me having conversations with other men. 

[PinkCherryx]

5 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

No. Not unusual for anyone to interrupt a conversation.  It probably happens a billion times to all of us across the entire world.  Human nature etc.  Sure, in many cases it's not the best manners, but certainly happens to all of us every single day.  Doesn't mean anything.

 

He saw me walk into the store waving at the other guy. And then he literally came and stood between us I mean really? I've also caught him looking at me from afar but I guess this means nothing either. 

[Batya33]

3 minutes ago, PinkCherryx said:

He saw me walk into the store waving at the other guy. And then he literally came and stood between us I mean really? I've also caught him looking at me from afar but I guess this means nothing either. 

It doesn't mean nothing -everything has a meaning.  People move towards pleasure and away from pain.  So what it means is at that moment he felt a benefit to himself from interrupting you and getting your attention.  You want it to mean that he is interested in you romantically - just because that's unlikely doesn't mean it "means nothing".  He might be interested in having intercourse with you again.  He might want you to know that so he stares at you.  But who cares what it means. 

The facts are you are someone he chose to have sex with in the past and he has never asked you out on a date or pursued a romantic relationship with you and he also might still have a girlfriend.  So consider those facts and consider that it's a royal waste of your time to analyze whether he remains sexually attracted to you.

[Capricorn3]

26 minutes ago, PinkCherryx said:

He saw me walk into the store waving at the other guy. And then he literally came and stood between us I mean really? I've also caught him looking at me from afar but I guess this means nothing either. 

So what exactly are you wanting to hear from us?  We are all saying it means nothing and you keep insisting it must mean something.  You have clearly convinced yourself there's some meaning behind him interrupting your conversation - seems more like you are hoping we will all agree and tell you he's crazy about you and is in love with you or something.  If he was crazy about you he would ask you out - ask you to be his girlfriend, but he hasn't.  He's a liar and a cheater, nothing impressive to begin with.  Keep dreaming.

[PinkCherryx]

17 minutes ago, Capricorn3 said:

So what exactly are you wanting to hear from us?  We are all saying it means nothing and you keep insisting it must mean something.  You have clearly convinced yourself there's some meaning behind him interrupting your conversation - seems more like you are hoping we will all agree and tell you he's crazy about you and is in love with you or something.  If he was crazy about you he would ask you out - ask you to be his girlfriend, but he hasn't.  He's a liar and a cheater, nothing impressive to begin with.  Keep dreaming.

I'm not hoping anyone says anything. I guess I just don't get how it can mean nothing. I've never had a guy interrupt me while I was talking to another guy. It was the way that he did it that seems odd to me. But perhaps you are right and it means nothing. Thanks.

[MissCanuck]

From a guy like this?

It means nothing other than he's egotistical and thinks he can still toy with you.