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My boyfriend watches cheating porn


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My boyfriend of almost two years watches cheating porn alot. Whether its women cheating on their husbands, or seducing the viewer to cheat. Ive expressed to him how this makes me feel and hes told me multiple times he wont watch it anymore but I just found more on his phone. This makes me nervous that hes going to cheat and makes me feel gross like I'm not good enough. What do I do???? (Im sorry if this is the wrong forum to go to i just need help)

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1 minute ago, SweetLove2001 said:

My boyfriend of almost two years watches cheating porn alot. hes told me multiple times he wont watch it anymore but I just found more on his phone. 

How old is he? Do you live together? Are you going through his phone?

You can't tell him what to do or what to watch. However if you feel disgusted by him, porn or believe he is cheating just end it.

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I mean, almost every porn is a cheating porn in some variations. Is he turned on by cheating or something else? Maybe he just watches it to get off. It doesnt mean that he is turned on by cheating. 

If it makes you feel unconfortable, that is another thing. Especially if he is a porn addict and your sex life suffers because of it. Then you should encourage him to get help or just leave. 

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25 minutes ago, SweetLove2001 said:

22, yes we live together, he looks at porn constantly to the point we hardly have sex. It makes me feel like crap.

Move out. You're too young to ruin your life with someone addicted to porn to the point he ignores you.

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39 minutes ago, SweetLove2001 said:

He watches it alot and it does affect our sex life and yes he is turned on specifically by the cheating aspect he even reads stories and captions of it.

I see. Kinks, or even porn addiction(his case seems like the second) is not something to be taken lightly. It doesnt matter whos house it is and do you love him and all, if he is unwilling to make changes and/or seek treatment, you should kick him out to the curb. 

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44 minutes ago, SweetLove2001 said:

It's my house and I moved him here from another state, if he leaves he has no where to go and I really do love him...

Then he needs to shape up or ship out.  This is not love when you are unhappy.

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20 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I see. Kinks, or even porn addiction(his case seems like the second) is not something to be taken lightly. It doesnt matter whos house it is and do you love him and all, if he is unwilling to make changes and/or seek treatment, you should kick him out to the curb. 

I really do love him though, its hard to break up with someone especially when most of the time we have a nice relationship... I just wish he would do better..

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2 hours ago, SweetLove2001 said:

he looks at porn constantly to the point we hardly have sex. It makes me feel like crap.

I'd focus on this. 

If you need more sexual/physical intimacy, this relationship isn't meeting your needs so be more honest with yourself in what you need in a relationship. Decide from there how you want to live your life, who you want in it and so on.

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Posted (edited)

You might offer him the option of attending marriage counseling with you, and he gets to choose the counselor and set up your first appointment within the next 2 weeks, OR he can opt to find a place to live and move out by the end of the month.

Leaving the work to him is important, as it will show you whether he's willing to step up to it, or not. Otherwise, dragging him to a counselor of YOUR choice and effort is a waste of your time and money.

I'd also obtain legal advice to learn my options in my location and the best steps to take for each option to protect myself and my assets, regardless of whether I decide to stay in the marriage. 

This would arm me with real information rather than operating on emotions alone.

Legal advice is information-gathering, it's not the same thing as filing for divorce or legal separation. However, those might be on a list of options to learn about and consider when you are ready to decide what you want.

Credit him with the adult ability to find his own way if you kick him out rather than view him through a parental lens. That can backfire. Parenting an adult is unsexy, which could be part of the problem.

Edited by catfeeder
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3 hours ago, SweetLove2001 said:

he looks at porn constantly to the point we hardly have sex.

This is the real problem. 

At his young age, porn should not be taking over his life. You're way too young for this BS. I would end it and tell him he's got to find a new place to live. 

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, SweetLove2001 said:

It's my house and I moved him here from another state, if he leaves he has no where to go and I really do love him...

 How did you meet? How long did you know him before he moved in? Ok, give him notice. You're not a homeless shelter.

Does he work? He can find an apt, room, houseshares, or move home to friends and family.

You should not be subjected to a loveless life without affection or sex. Whatever his problem is, porn addiction, drugs, alcohol, cheating, etc., it's not your problem to solve.

 At 22 you could be enjoying yourself, meeting health men, planning a future, etc. Not stressed out about what kind of porn someone watches, if they're cheating, where they are getting sex etc.

Edited by Wiseman2
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7 hours ago, SweetLove2001 said:

My boyfriend of almost two years watches cheating porn alot. Whether its women cheating on their husbands, or seducing the viewer to cheat. Ive expressed to him how this makes me feel and hes told me multiple times he wont watch it anymore but I just found more on his phone. This makes me nervous that hes going to cheat and makes me feel gross like I'm not good enough. What do I do???? (Im sorry if this is the wrong forum to go to i just need help)

You already know what to do...you just need the courage now to do it.

He is demonstrating behavior that is not something anyone would want in a partner.

You have asked him to stop, he refuses.

It's time to leave him, because I can almost guarantee that this man will either cheat on you, or his disrespect will get worse as time goes on.

You are wasting time and emotions now on him.

Leave and find someone better.

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6 hours ago, SweetLove2001 said:

It's my house and I moved him here from another state, if he leaves he has no where to go and I really do love him...

Stop making excuses.

Seriously...you are ruining your own future.

Give him 2 weeks to find a new place to live.

As for love, it's not mutual. If it was, he would have stopped the porn.

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