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I'm not sure what to do next... 7 1/2 weeks


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Sure, it's normal to be somewhat anxious at the beginning, being into someone and having no clue how it will all pan out--if you'll end up disappointed or if a beautiful relationship will develop. 

As others have said, keep up with the life you had before you met him. And try to concentrate more on whether or not he meets your needs, versus solely on you being anxious if he's into or not.

Having a wait-and-see attitude, instead of being all primed to dream of the day when you asks you to be exclusive, when it's not even clear he'd make an ideal boyfriend.

Usually, at the heady beginnings, people are showing their best selves, so even if things are great at the beginning, it's no indication of what lies ahead. You have to get past that, if it even gets that far, to see how a person behaves moving beyond the honeymoon stage.

I know you've had a dry spell, but really think about if you want to date someone who is "absurdly busy." I did that for a year, with the person I was with before meeting my husband. This guy worked 12 hour days Mon. to Fri. and 7 hours on Saturday. We rarely enjoyed time together. He'd fall asleep by 8:30 and slept until 2 on Sundays, always waking up with a headache on that day. I had a recent empty nest, and wanted someone to enjoy life with, which I later found when dating my husband.

You sound like a woman who likes a very involved companion. I have a feeling you won't be satisfied with the lack of time this guy can give you. Have you ever made a must-have list and a dealbreaker list? I suggest doing this so you can zero in on what you really want, so you don't settle. Good luck and let us know how it goes.

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1 hour ago, Shelley511 said:

I'm just trying to take people as face value to the best of my ability at this time.

What does that have to do with this individual? His face value is:  He has asked you out on four dates. He has texted you in between the dates. He got sick and went out of town and now he's back but busy this weekend. Face value: you have no time/place plan for a 5th date.  Therefore for your own sanity assume there is no 5th date until there is a plan.  One date at a time because you two are casually dating at this moment.  That's also face value.  

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I'm a bit confused, OP. 

If he is sick enough to still warrant a doctor's visit, why would be attending this big weekend-long event of his friend's? 

I agree with the others that it's only been 4 dates, so you need to relax the white knuckles a bit. You still don't know him well, and don't know which way things will go. Maybe things will proceed and you'll hear from him, or maybe this is where it starts to fizzle out. The point is, take a deep breath and observe. 

And know that even if this doesn't go the way you hoped, you will dust yourself off and find a better match. 

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On the subject of "texting throughout the day":   I'm pretty old and not quite as devoted to my phone as the following generations seem to be, but I still am pretty connected.  Sometimes I get into banter with a friend or my daughter.  Even with them, sometimes the convo clearly has run its course and it's up to one or the other of us to stop responding.  It can feel a bit awkward.  

I can imagine that if I were trying to conduct a romantic relationship mostly by texting,  I might feel weird if I were just left hanging ... 

I was in a very longterm relationship with a person who was on the road ALL the time.  Maybe stayed home and slept in their own apartment, or my home once we got together,  3-4 nights a week.  During the courtship phase, we spoke on the phone EVERY night.  We didn't need to feel like doing it - it was how we enacted our intention to form a long and serious relationship.

Talk on the phone.

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I think the most important thing is wheter it’s really worth having a relationship with someone this busy. The person I’m in love with is also very busy, but the difference is that I love spending time alone. Even if I don’t spend time alone, it’s good for my boyfriend to be busy because I’m always with people because of my job.

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