Family and Life Updates

[Seraphim]

I got my period at 11 as well. I am so very happy it is gone and has been for like 8 years . 

[itsallgrand]

I had a good sex ed in my school, so I already knew and had seen regular tampons and pads in class. But when I got my period, my mom took out this old school thing...it had a garter and pads like mini mattresses that came in a giant box my mom had stashed. It was a case lot of these huge things! Lol.

I remember being embarrassed going to school with it, and getting some more regular ones from someone at school. 

Mom was happy to buy me the ones I wanted but I'll forever remember her pulling out that case lot and garter. This was in the 90s!

[Seraphim]

13 minutes ago, itsallgrand said:

I had a good sex ed in my school, so I already knew and had seen regular tampons and pads in class. But when I got my period, my mom took out this old school thing...it had a garter and pads like mini mattresses that came in a giant box my mom had stashed. It was a case lot of these huge things! Lol.

I remember being embarrassed going to school with it, and getting some more regular ones from someone at school. 

Mom was happy to buy me the ones I wanted but I'll forever remember her pulling out that case lot and garter. This was in the 90s!

My son also got sex Ed or health class at school we well and he went to a Catholic school. 

[boltnrun]

My mom bought me the modern kind with the adhesive but she bought the biggest ones she could find, instructed me to wear TWO of them at time and refused to allow me to wear my uniform skirts (I went to Catholic school) during my periods. So everyone could see the giant barges I had in my underwear. A lot of embarrassment and humiliation for an 11 year old to go through.

My school surprisingly gave us girls a lesson in having your period (two years too late for me but at least they had it!) They also surprisingly gave us samples of tampons. I learned how to use them and announced to my mother that I wouldn't be wearing the barges anymore. She got angry and said I'd have to buy the tampons myself as she was opposed to me using them. So I did. 

I think she was like a lot of old school mothers who thought wearing tampons was too much like having sex 😆

Mine ended about 2 1/2 years ago. Thankfully.

[Fudgie]

I was going to ask, boltnrun - did your mom think that tampons took virginity or something? Some people do actually believe that.

I got my period at 11 too. I wore pads for a short bit, but soon switched to tampons. My mom was encouraging but VERY worried about toxic shock syndrome so she was always reminding me to remember to change them (I always did, never an issue, she just worried!)

I have a couple more decades of periods left (blah) but now I no longer use pads or tampons. I use "soft cup" discs. They are disposable but I use one per cycle, empty/rinse as needed, and then toss. 1 box lasts me 1 year. 

I swear, if this company ever goes belly up, I'm going to go out and buy like 20 boxes to last me the rest of my life. I won't use anything else. 

[boltnrun]

Yeah, I think she was carrying that 1950s mindset that nothing should go into a girl's vag until her husband did 😆This was in the late 1970s (I turned 11 in 1977). 

My father reacted even worse. When my mother told him I'd started he shook his head as if to reject her words and then stomped off. Funny reaction from a guy who didn't think he should have to pay child support.

[Seraphim]

14 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Yeah, I think she was carrying that 1950s mindset that nothing should go into a girl's vag until her husband did 😆This was in the late 1970s (I turned 11 in 1977). 

My father reacted even worse. When my mother told him I'd started he shook his head as if to reject her words and then stomped off. Funny reaction from a guy who didn't think he should have to pay child support.

I was 11 in 1977 as well. 

[boltnrun]

OK, I know this is probably weird but it really grosses me out when people touch door handles, hand rails, crosswalk buttons and grimy walls and then eat tacos or sandwiches without washing their hands.

🤢

[boltnrun]

It's always my first instinct to want to help the homeless people who tend to come to my neighborhood. There's a homeless man in a wheelchair in the alley behind my apartment building. I gathered some snacks and was planning to give them to him but he started belligerently ranting and cursing. I don't think it's smart to potentially put myself in danger. I feel bad because he might be hungry but approaching him might not be a safe decision. 

There are resources in my city but many of them choose not to use them for various reasons, I guess.

[boltnrun]

I actually had to close my window halfway because the breeze coming in felt a bit chilly.

What a wonderful change from the past few weeks, where it's been miserably hot with little to no breeze.

[boltnrun]

So my psychologist finally gave me a diagnosis of OCD along with my anxiety disorder. Not severe OCD as I am able to function despite the detailed protocols I set up for myself. Something else to work on.

One thing I learned to do is if I am going somewhere, to plan to be ready an extra 15 minutes early to allow for having to take off my shoes to go back inside to triple and quadruple check that I turned off the tea kettle, oven and stove and I closed the fridge and freezer doors.

[Seraphim]

My husband has this dual diagnosis as well. I think he was diagnosed at 28 with OCD and GAD and ADHD at 30. He did therapy on and off for about 10 years. And he still goes occasionally. He has been medicated since his late 20’s . It is something that can be worked with. 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, Seraphim said:

My husband has this dual diagnosis as well. I think he was diagnosed at 28 with OCD and GAD and ADHD at 30. He did therapy on and off for about 10 years. And he still goes occasionally. He has been medicated since his late 20’s . It is something that can be worked with. 

Does he have elaborate routines or "steps" he needs to follow to perform everyday tasks or to leave home? Does he count things? Does he have to have his closet and drawers organized in a specific way?

My psychologist believes my childhood trauma caused me to develop routines so that I can feel like my life is orderly and "safe". When I was a child home was not a safe place, so I go to extremes to try to make my home my safe haven.

There are very few people I trust implicitly. Maybe three? Sadly, some of them have passed away, such as my beloved uncle. I would have gladly and willingly placed my life in his hands as I knew he'd never, ever hurt me.

[Seraphim]

4 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

Does he have elaborate routines or "steps" he needs to follow to perform everyday tasks or to leave home? Does he count things? Does he have to have his closet and drawers organized in a specific way?

My psychologist believes my childhood trauma caused me to develop routines so that I can feel like my life is orderly and "safe". When I was a child home was not a safe place, so I go to extremes to try to make my home my safe haven.

There are very few people I trust implicitly. Maybe three? Sadly, some of them have passed away, such as my beloved uncle. I would have gladly and willingly placed my life in his hands as I knew he'd never, ever hurt me.

Nope, not anymore he doesn’t . He was totally crippled by OCD when younger. He has no symptoms anymore due to therapy and medication. 

[boltnrun]

14 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Nope, not anymore he doesn’t . He was totally crippled by OCD when younger. He has no symptoms anymore due to therapy and medication. 

Fortunately I'm not paralyzed. I can still do things, I just need to allow myself time to recheck things I already checked.

I used to work with a woman who was late to work every single day because she had to keep checking her front door to see if she locked it, check the stove burners, etc. And it took her forever to leave the office because she had to keep checking to see if she locked the cabinets. I watched her check the same cabinet at least ten times. And then she'd check it again. Poor thing, I can only imagine her anguish and turmoil. At least I found a way to only recheck once. I tell myself out loud "I have checked this. I don't need to check it anymore." and it works.

We're doing a form of CBT to get me to relax my routines. It's been helping a lot.

Off topic, I can't tilt my head backwards. I couldn't yesterday either. It made rinsing my hair very difficult. I had to bend my knees and squat lol. Advil is not helping. 

[Seraphim]

My husband was down to the point that he had to have specific clothes for specific days, wash 11 times, read the newspaper before work whether late or not . He would dissolve into a screaming almost spitting rage if he didn’t have his “ Tuesday underwear “ and wouldn’t be able to work or function.If I didn’t fold his clothes in 1/8ths he would throw it across the room.  It controlled our entire lives . He had to get treatment or I was gone . 

[boltnrun]

Wow, that is extreme.

Last weekend I was having lunch in a restaurant with my cousin, her husband and their child. I had already washed my hands and was eating my sandwich and fries. My cousin asked me to pass her the seasoning salt shaker. The communal one that is left on the table for everyone to use. I really, really didn't want to. I would "have" to wash my hands again and my cousin was sitting on the outside part of the booth which meant I would have had to ask her to get up to let me out and then get up to let me back in again. So I just handed her the gosh darned dirty nasty salt shaker and kept eating my food. I didn't like it one bit but I felt there was nothing I could do about it.

Eighteen months ago I wouldn't even have been at the restaurant, let alone be touching a salt shaker!

[Seraphim]

You are doing well then! 

[boltnrun]

So apparently I have a UTI.  That explains why I've been feeling feverish and generally icky for the past week.  I'm picking up the antibiotics tomorrow because I'm sweaty and gross from my walk earlier and from cleaning.  I don't feel like going back out again.

Good news is my neck is much less stiff and painful.  I actually thought I might have meningitis because it hurt right where my brain stem attaches to my spinal cord and I couldn't tilt my head back at all.  I'm considering seeing a chiropractor for my myriad of spinal and joint issues.

[boltnrun]

My decision not to fly anywhere got reinforced last week.

My psychologist traveled to Europe earlier this month. About a week into her trip she started feeling sick and tested positive for Covid along with her husband. She didn't want to quarantine in a foreign country so she TOOK A TOUR BUS to a major city and then FLEW HOME despite being Covid positive and symptomatic with a cough, fever, congestion and shortness of breath. She didn't test negative until after she'd been home for several days. Her husband was still testing positive as of last Thursday, nearly a week after they flew home.

I've been saying all along that I suspect people are flying even when they know they have Covid. And the mask requirement is gone so no one even has to protect anyone else. 

I'll road trip and I'd even consider train travel as it's easier to distance plus everyone doesn't get on the train at the same station (not city train services like the subway, still avoiding that). But no air travel.

[Seraphim]

1 minute ago, boltnrun said:

My decision not to fly anywhere got reinforced last week.

My psychologist traveled to Europe earlier this month. About a week into her trip she started feeling sick and tested positive for Covid along with her husband. She didn't want to quarantine in a foreign country so she TOOK A TOUR BUS to a major city and then FLEW HOME despite being Covid positive and symptomatic with a cough, fever, congestion and shortness of breath. She didn't test negative until after she'd been home for several days. Her husband was still testing positive as of last Thursday, nearly a week after they flew home.

I've been saying all along that I suspect people are flying even when they know they have Covid. And the mask requirement is gone so no one even has to protect anyone else. 

I'll road trip and I'd even consider train travel as it's easier to distance plus everyone doesn't get on the train at the same station (not city train services like the subway, still avoiding that). But no air travel.

My husband and I wear masks still when on public transit in the big city . No international travel or flying for us for a few years. Right now hubby has a cough but tested negative a few times and is getting better . 

[boltnrun]

I just know I'd be seated between two maskless Covid positive people and end up sick again. I don't NEED to fly anywhere so why risk it?

[boltnrun]

Sigh...my brother...

Love him dearly, he's a good man, but sometimes I just want to smack him in the face with a slice of bacon. It's 109 degrees (42.78 C) where he lives, but he's going to work out in his NON-AIR CONDITIONED garage because he can't possibly miss a workout. Because the sky would fall down or something. I urged him to reconsider but he just said he'll be careful.

I really hope he's smart about it and doesn't give himself heat stroke.

[boltnrun]

I've been trying to sleep since 11 pm. It's now 3 am. I have to get up for work in three hours.

I cannot understand why I have such extreme insomnia. This has been going on for well over a year. I told my doctors and they give the usual "try to relax, meditate, do breathing, stay calm and quiet" crap that doesn't work and has never worked. I can't dope myself up every night.

[boltnrun]

Hour later, still wide awake. I'm furiously angry, which just makes it worse.

Work is going to be absolute torture with no sleep. 

This is about the 20th time in the past month I've been unable to sleep. Tonight (this morning) is the worst. I'm going to have to ask my doctor to prescribe some kind of knock out drug so I can sleep.