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boltnrun
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Did a two mile walk yesterday evening. No opportunity to walk this evening so I kind of marched around my apartment and got in a half mile. I'll do another half mile right after work if it's not too hot in my apartment, or I can do it later in the evening. I figure one mile is better than zero miles.

Thank you, work from home job! I couldn't be marching around my office, I'd look like a doofus. And too hot that far inland to go for a lunchtime walk.

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My brother. God bless him. We love each other dearly but also drive each other crazy. Summarized text conversation:

Him- hot water in my house is out. Think it's the pilot light out. Have a warranty on the water heater. Called service company and paid the service call fee. They said the soonest they can get here is next Tuesday. Bummed.  Me-sorry to hear that! I would think they'd consider no hot water to be an emergency. I've heard the gas company will come out to relight your pilot for you, maybe that's a possibility? Him -I already scheduled the appointment and paid the fee. I will try to get an appointment sooner but I am going to have the service company take care of it. Me-understood, hope they can make it sooner.

Several hours later...

Him-thanks for the suggestion. I called gas company, they will have someone out here tomorrow to relight the pilot. Me-.............(thinking inside my head "could have called hours ago and maybe could have had it fixed today...") Me to him - I'm glad they're going to take care of it tomorrow, that's good news.

He is very much the kind of person who doesn't like taking suggestions from others. Even if it's at a great inconvenience to him he will do things his way. I'm surprised he ended up calling the gas company but maybe his daughter who lives with him complained or told him she was going to go stay with her mom if he didn't get it fixed. 

He says he's not a control freak but rather a "control enthusiast". 

I'm sure I do things that drive him nuts too. But at the end of the day we're family and we love and support one another.

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Today would have been my mother's 82nd birthday.

My mother and I had a difficult relationship. I understand that's not terribly unusual. I remember a line from the book The Thorn Birds..."what is a daughter but a reminder of all one used to be?"

She resented me and loved me. She put me down and praised me. She made me feel awful and made me feel strong. She taught me that I was inadequate and she taught me to stand on my own and be dependable and reliable. She made me feel stupid and she assured me I was intelligent. 

She's been gone for 29 years and I still think about her every day.

I'll see her when it's my time to go. That will be wonderful.

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I am sorry you had a difficult time with your mom. I sometimes do too, she has “ control freakitis “ as I say. She gets stuck in her ways and understandings of things and wants to hold only me to impossible standards. 
 

Happy Birthday to your mom . Think when it is our time and we see them again it will be a better time. 

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New HR manager didn't know how to use PowerPoint in presentation mode or even how to advance to the next slide. She spoke for several minutes with herself on mute as well.

It's not bad that she didn't know how. It's that she apparently didn't tell anyone before the full staff meeting. The general manager, who was on camera, looked very exasperated. He had to walk over to her office twice during the meeting to show her how to do these very basic things. This caused the meeting to last longer than necessary. He seemed to have a hard time hiding his annoyance.

She also mispronounced a lot of employee names. She said "Abram" instead of "Abraham", for example.

Maybe it was just nerves. Or she's not good speaking in front of others, which is odd for an HR manager! 

I could offer to help show her how to work in PowerPoint but that might be rude.

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Second time this week I signed into work in my pajamas and robe. I just CAN NOT SLEEP. Unless I dope myself up with Benadryl and Advil. I really dislike doing that. And I especially dislike depending on a pill to force me to sleep. I'd rather find the root cause.

Psych appointment is this afternoon. We will definitely be discussing this.

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17 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Did you ever feel unsafe to sleep in your past?

Many, many years ago but that was resolved in my 20s. I'm usually an excellent sleeper.

Only thing I can possibly pinpoint is my cat is no longer with me. She's been gone since October. She was a bed hog but also so sweet and cuddly. If I woke up in the middle of the night I would just turn and pet her for a few minutes, she'd purr, and I'd go back to sleep.

I miss her.

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10 minutes ago, Seraphim said:

Maybe get another cat? They feel like security. 

I'm not ready yet. I get very attached so I feel like I need to wait a while. Plus I'm planning to move and it's so much easier to find a rental when you don't have pets. 

I do miss my silly little girl kitty.

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I slept last night. Granted, it was because I took a Benadryl and an Advil but I was at the point of desperation. I was woken up at around just after midnight because the new highrise across the street had a power outage, so the emergency generator kicked on. And of course the generator is right outside my window and it is LOUD. But I got up, closed the windows, used the bathroom and thankfully fell back asleep. When my alarm went off I felt like I could have slept for another two hours. But I got about six solid hours of good sleep.

Sleep makes so much difference. I feel like I can function. I can get chores done and work and go for a walk. I had instant ramen for dinner last night because I didn't feel up to cooking, but I'm cooking fish tonight. 

Such a relief.

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