Ex is really mad at me and I can't figure out why...

[Cynder]

I'm a professional artist.  When my ex and I were together I did a painting for her.  It was something really personal that had a lot of meaning to her. 

Well, we split up back in August.  We started talking again in December.  And we've been talking off and on since.  I saw her last Friday for the first time since the break up.  And since we saw each other she's been messaging me a lot.  In one conversation she even told me she still loves me and she always will.  I told her in that same conversation that I am open to the idea of trying again later on when we both have done more work on ourselves.  She said hearing that really made her happy, etc.  So as of now we are friends. 

Tonight she started messaging me and then she called.  We were on the phone for about an hour, just bantering, talking about work and stuff.  And in that conversation she suggested that maybe when the snowstorm we are having ends, we could go to this one city we used to go to a lot and go to this one shop we really like and have dinner and this restaurant we really like.  I told her, yea, that sounds really fun.

Then when we got off the phone she started messaging me again.  And she was sending me videos of her roommate's cats, etc.  And then she did a video of her room.  Also when we were together I gave her this really fancy carved wooden box with an Om on it, because that symbol is important to her.  And so when she showed me her room I told her I see the Om box. 

And then that's what started the conversation about the painting.  She told me she actually gave the painting away to a friend of hers who is a "warlock." She said he needed it to clear bad energy out of his house, etc.  And she told me she always loved it but just couldn't handle keeping it. 

I was genuinely conflicted about this.  I get why she gave it away.  But at the same time it was something created specifically for her.  And I told her that.  But I also told her it's her life and when I gave it to her it became hers to do with what she wanted, even if that means giving it away.  And I said I'm glad she gave it to a friend she trusts and that it wasn't thrown away or just given to some random person. 

Ok... to me all this sounds pretty understanding. 

She said she would let me go for the night because she could tell she hurt me.  And I said, "Well, I'm sad.  But I also see both sides of it.  I might have given it away too in your shoes." 

And she said, "I tried to hang it up in my new place.  But it just didn't feel right. Probably because I did you so wrong." 

I said, "Well you did do me wrong, no denying that.  It males sense why it wouldn't feel right."

And then I said, "But if you friend ever decides he doesn't want it anymore, ask him to give it back to you ok?  I just don't want it to be thrown away or given to someone neither of us know.  I'm just protective of my art." 

And this might seems weird.  But I am.  Especially paintings that are given as gifts.  I'm not as protective of stuff that I create just to sell.  But when I do a painting specifically for someone and give it to them, that's a piece of myself I'm giving them.  So all I was saying was if her friend ever decides he doesn't want it, I would rather it go back to her and if she doesn't want it, then just give it back to me.  To me that didn't seem out of line.

But she got PISSED.  She was like, "Wow.  I can't believe you!  You were just so rude to me!"

I asked what about what I said was rude.  And she was like, "If you don't know then... Daminit!"  This is a direct quote.  

I said, "Was it the part about you doing me wrong?  You even said you did me wrong.  I was agreeing with you."  

And she was like, "Wow are you serious right now?"   

The next few minutes were us going back and forth and me asking her to clarify what upset her exactly.  And her telling me she's to read back through what I said. 

Ok people of ENA... I know it might have been a little unconventional to ask her if her friend ever doesn't want the painting to get it back from them.  I know it's technically her friend's property.  But as an artist... Idk.  Artists get attached to their own work sometimes.  I just don't want it ending up in a dumpster somewhere or given to the salvation army or whatever.  A lot of thought and love went into painting it.  And her friend just supposedly needed it to clear bad energy from his house, idk. 

She told me she was done talking to me for tonight.  I said ok.  And then I stopped messaging her.  And here's where things get weird. 

for the next few minutes I just sat there re reading our conversation trying to figure out what set her off. 

Then she messages me out of nowhere... and her message says, "What did you do to that painting?"  And I can't even explain why but her asking after several minutes of silence really creeped me out.  Idk...  Maybe it's my anxiety.  But to me it came off like she was about to accuse me of going to her friend's house and actually doing something to the painting.  She did say she smoked some weed earlier.  Weed makes people paranoid sometimes but come on, really...?  idk... I want to cry right now just writing about it.  It just made me feel really uneasy.  I have mental problems, too.  We are both a little on the crazy spectrum. 

I said, "What do you mean what did I do to it?"    Then I said, "I just re read our whole conversation about the painting and I can't figure out what upset you.  Was it me saying if your friend doesn't want it anymore at some point, ask him for it back?  Was it me saying you did me wrong?  I really wasn't trying to be rude and I'm sorry."

She said, "I admit I worded things wrong too.  But you were just straight up mean.  Really mean." 

I said, "Please tell me what I said that was mean."

She said, "I'm done for tonight. Maybe I'm just being crazy." 

I said, "I really think one of us is not understanding something.  SOmething just doesn't add up."

She said, "Anyways, I tired." 

But I read this wrong.  I thought she said, "Anyways, I tried."

So I said, "I'm trying too.  Lets try to figure this out." 

And she said, "Mk, talk to you later girl."

I said, "Ok, we can talk more about it tomorrow when we are both thinking clearer."

And she said, "Man.  Just re read the chat.  I'm trying to call it a night and you keep messaging me." 

I said, "Hey, all I said was we can talk more tomorrow when we are thinking clearer.  I didn't push." 

She said, "For real though.  We are here."

I saidm "ok."

She said, "It's how we act right now that makes us who we are."

I said, "Right."

And she said "Goodnight." 

Ok... I have no clue what just happened.  I injured my back the other night at work and right now I am on prescription muscle relaxers.  Not trying to make excuses but I am taking something that is known to make people loopy and a little off.  Like... seriously, am I missing something?  I just want to make this right. 

But I also realize that how she acted was manipulative too.  She's all mad at me but won't tell me why.  She keeps saying I should read back through and just know why.  Like ok, I admit I was sad that she gave the painting away.  But I also told her I understand why she did it and that it was hers to do with what she wanted, etc.  I was just acknowledging how I felt.  I've read back through the conversation multiple tims and I can't see where I was ever mean or rude except the part about how she did me wrong.  Ok... she left me in a really mean callous way.  And she said she didn't feel right hanging it up in her place because she did me wrong.  Ok, so I basically said yes, she did me wrong."  If I really hurt someone I wouldn't want to look at some gift they made me every day either. 

Ok I need to stop or else I'm going to just sit here and keep dissecting everything.  I have OCD.  This is what I do.  Multiple people have told me this woman is "nuts."  Tonight was the first time it seemed like she acted kinda nuts.  And I've known her for years.  We were friends before we ever dated. 

I just figure maybe posting here can help me see a different perspective.  What do you all think about this? 

 

 

[MissCanuck]

It’s the same exhausting merry-go-round with this woman. An extension of her general dysfunction.

I would steer clear as it’s evident that things are not improving between you two and you are continuously dragged into emotional chaos with her. 

 

[Cynder]

6 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

It’s the same exhausting merry-go-round with this woman. An extension of her general dysfunction.

I would steer clear as it’s evident that things are not improving between you two and you are continuously dragged into emotional chaos with her. 

 

Ok so you agree this whole situation doesn't make sense?  I was born and raised in a house where fist fights and namecalling took place on a regular basis.  So my normalometer is broken and might never be really fixed.  But this just seems really out there, how she acted.  Especially her asking what I did to the painting. 

[Wiseman2]

It seems like you are arguing about arguing. Don't ask for gifts back. You started a rhetorical argument about getting it back, even tough this warlock friend never gave it back to your ex, so the point is moot. It was just a platform to bicker.

[SherrySher]

2 hours ago, Cynder said:

I'm a professional artist.  When my ex and I were together I did a painting for her.  It was something really personal that had a lot of meaning to her. 

Well, we split up back in August.  We started talking again in December.  And we've been talking off and on since.  I saw her last Friday for the first time since the break up.  And since we saw each other she's been messaging me a lot.  In one conversation she even told me she still loves me and she always will.  I told her in that same conversation that I am open to the idea of trying again later on when we both have done more work on ourselves.  She said hearing that really made her happy, etc.  So as of now we are friends. 

Tonight she started messaging me and then she called.  We were on the phone for about an hour, just bantering, talking about work and stuff.  And in that conversation she suggested that maybe when the snowstorm we are having ends, we could go to this one city we used to go to a lot and go to this one shop we really like and have dinner and this restaurant we really like.  I told her, yea, that sounds really fun.

Then when we got off the phone she started messaging me again.  And she was sending me videos of her roommate's cats, etc.  And then she did a video of her room.  Also when we were together I gave her this really fancy carved wooden box with an Om on it, because that symbol is important to her.  And so when she showed me her room I told her I see the Om box. 

And then that's what started the conversation about the painting.  She told me she actually gave the painting away to a friend of hers who is a "warlock." She said he needed it to clear bad energy out of his house, etc.  And she told me she always loved it but just couldn't handle keeping it. 

I was genuinely conflicted about this.  I get why she gave it away.  But at the same time it was something created specifically for her.  And I told her that.  But I also told her it's her life and when I gave it to her it became hers to do with what she wanted, even if that means giving it away.  And I said I'm glad she gave it to a friend she trusts and that it wasn't thrown away or just given to some random person. 

Ok... to me all this sounds pretty understanding. 

She said she would let me go for the night because she could tell she hurt me.  And I said, "Well, I'm sad.  But I also see both sides of it.  I might have given it away too in your shoes." 

And she said, "I tried to hang it up in my new place.  But it just didn't feel right. Probably because I did you so wrong." 

I said, "Well you did do me wrong, no denying that.  It males sense why it wouldn't feel right."

And then I said, "But if you friend ever decides he doesn't want it anymore, ask him to give it back to you ok?  I just don't want it to be thrown away or given to someone neither of us know.  I'm just protective of my art." 

And this might seems weird.  But I am.  Especially paintings that are given as gifts.  I'm not as protective of stuff that I create just to sell.  But when I do a painting specifically for someone and give it to them, that's a piece of myself I'm giving them.  So all I was saying was if her friend ever decides he doesn't want it, I would rather it go back to her and if she doesn't want it, then just give it back to me.  To me that didn't seem out of line.

But she got PISSED.  She was like, "Wow.  I can't believe you!  You were just so rude to me!"

I asked what about what I said was rude.  And she was like, "If you don't know then... Daminit!"  This is a direct quote.  

I said, "Was it the part about you doing me wrong?  You even said you did me wrong.  I was agreeing with you."  

And she was like, "Wow are you serious right now?"   

The next few minutes were us going back and forth and me asking her to clarify what upset her exactly.  And her telling me she's to read back through what I said. 

Ok people of ENA... I know it might have been a little unconventional to ask her if her friend ever doesn't want the painting to get it back from them.  I know it's technically her friend's property.  But as an artist... Idk.  Artists get attached to their own work sometimes.  I just don't want it ending up in a dumpster somewhere or given to the salvation army or whatever.  A lot of thought and love went into painting it.  And her friend just supposedly needed it to clear bad energy from his house, idk. 

She told me she was done talking to me for tonight.  I said ok.  And then I stopped messaging her.  And here's where things get weird. 

for the next few minutes I just sat there re reading our conversation trying to figure out what set her off. 

Then she messages me out of nowhere... and her message says, "What did you do to that painting?"  And I can't even explain why but her asking after several minutes of silence really creeped me out.  Idk...  Maybe it's my anxiety.  But to me it came off like she was about to accuse me of going to her friend's house and actually doing something to the painting.  She did say she smoked some weed earlier.  Weed makes people paranoid sometimes but come on, really...?  idk... I want to cry right now just writing about it.  It just made me feel really uneasy.  I have mental problems, too.  We are both a little on the crazy spectrum. 

I said, "What do you mean what did I do to it?"    Then I said, "I just re read our whole conversation about the painting and I can't figure out what upset you.  Was it me saying if your friend doesn't want it anymore at some point, ask him for it back?  Was it me saying you did me wrong?  I really wasn't trying to be rude and I'm sorry."

She said, "I admit I worded things wrong too.  But you were just straight up mean.  Really mean." 

I said, "Please tell me what I said that was mean."

She said, "I'm done for tonight. Maybe I'm just being crazy." 

I said, "I really think one of us is not understanding something.  SOmething just doesn't add up."

She said, "Anyways, I tired." 

But I read this wrong.  I thought she said, "Anyways, I tried."

So I said, "I'm trying too.  Lets try to figure this out." 

And she said, "Mk, talk to you later girl."

I said, "Ok, we can talk more about it tomorrow when we are both thinking clearer."

And she said, "Man.  Just re read the chat.  I'm trying to call it a night and you keep messaging me." 

I said, "Hey, all I said was we can talk more tomorrow when we are thinking clearer.  I didn't push." 

She said, "For real though.  We are here."

I saidm "ok."

She said, "It's how we act right now that makes us who we are."

I said, "Right."

And she said "Goodnight." 

Ok... I have no clue what just happened.  I injured my back the other night at work and right now I am on prescription muscle relaxers.  Not trying to make excuses but I am taking something that is known to make people loopy and a little off.  Like... seriously, am I missing something?  I just want to make this right. 

But I also realize that how she acted was manipulative too.  She's all mad at me but won't tell me why.  She keeps saying I should read back through and just know why.  Like ok, I admit I was sad that she gave the painting away.  But I also told her I understand why she did it and that it was hers to do with what she wanted, etc.  I was just acknowledging how I felt.  I've read back through the conversation multiple tims and I can't see where I was ever mean or rude except the part about how she did me wrong.  Ok... she left me in a really mean callous way.  And she said she didn't feel right hanging it up in her place because she did me wrong.  Ok, so I basically said yes, she did me wrong."  If I really hurt someone I wouldn't want to look at some gift they made me every day either. 

Ok I need to stop or else I'm going to just sit here and keep dissecting everything.  I have OCD.  This is what I do.  Multiple people have told me this woman is "nuts."  Tonight was the first time it seemed like she acted kinda nuts.  And I've known her for years.  We were friends before we ever dated. 

I just figure maybe posting here can help me see a different perspective.  What do you all think about this? 

 

 

You're right, artists do become emotionally attached to their work...how could they not? It's a part of them. It's what was inside of them and they put that forward into a creation of theirs.

This piece specifically, you made for her, and I am sure at the time all the feelings you had for her, were right there along while you were creating this piece.

It was meant for her, from your own hands, your own heart...it meant something very special to you.

You gave it to her with a great deal of emotions attached to it.

She did not view it in the same respect, and you know what? That would be very hurtful..for anyone.

Even if you fell out, even if you broke up...that painting was supposed to mean a lot, between your heart and hers.

If she didn't feel right hanging it up, at the very least, she could have kept it in the back of her closet for the time being while her emotions healed.

But at least keep the painting in a safe place, where it still belonged to her.

But she dismissed it, furthermore, she did what was kind of low down and a bit heartless...not only did she give it away, but she gave it away to another man.

It's difficult to not wonder if she did it out of spite, but she obviously gave something away that she must have known on some level was made for her with a great deal of affection.

To just hand it off like that, was pretty cold.

Her explanations at this point don't make a lot of sense. Healing is one thing, but the painting could have easily been put away, and not handed off to someone else.

You're not wrong to feel very hurt, or to wonder how genuine she is, or how careful she is with people's emotions.

Then she turns the tables on you and blames you, for what?? Having a heart? Feeling pain that she gave away something you gave her with a great deal of care?

Long story short...she is not your person, you two are not on the same wavelengths (which is why things didn't work out in the first place).

Close this door once and for all. It didn't work, you're not friends and you would be going back to a situation that just isn't working.

[Cynder]

8 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

You're right, artists do become emotionally attached to their work...how could they not? It's a part of them. It's what was inside of them and they put that forward into a creation of theirs.

This piece specifically, you made for her, and I am sure at the time all the feelings you had for her, were right there along while you were creating this piece.

It was meant for her, from your own hands, your own heart...it meant something very special to you.

You gave it to her with a great deal of emotions attached to it.

She did not view it in the same respect, and you know what? That would be very hurtful..for anyone.

Even if you fell out, even if you broke up...that painting was supposed to mean a lot, between your heart and hers.

If she didn't feel right hanging it up, at the very least, she could have kept it in the back of her closet for the time being while her emotions healed.

But at least keep the painting in a safe place, where it still belonged to her.

But she dismissed it, furthermore, she did what was kind of low down and a bit heartless...not only did she give it away, but she gave it away to another man.

It's difficult to not wonder if she did it out of spite, but she obviously gave something away that she must have known on some level was made for her with a great deal of affection.

To just hand it off like that, was pretty cold.

Her explanations at this point don't make a lot of sense. Healing is one thing, but the painting could have easily been put away, and not handed off to someone else.

You're not wrong to feel very hurt, or to wonder how genuine she is, or how careful she is with people's emotions.

Then she turns the tables on you and blames you, for what?? Having a heart? Feeling pain that she gave away something you gave her with a great deal of care?

Long story short...she is not your person, you two are not on the same wavelengths (which is why things didn't work out in the first place).

Close this door once and for all. It didn't work, you're not friends and you would be going back to a situation that just isn't working.

Not disagreeing.  I do just want to clarify though, I'm female.  And she is a lesbian.  So the fact that she gave it to a man doesn't have the same weight, etc.  

[SherrySher]

3 minutes ago, Cynder said:

Not disagreeing.  I do just want to clarify though, I'm female.  And she is a lesbian.  So the fact that she gave it to a man doesn't have the same weight, etc.  

Okay, so not in the romantic sense (this man), but it's still hurtful that you gave something to her that was really meaningful and she handed it off to someone else and gaslighted you when you tried to express your hurt about it.

 

[Batya33]

7 minutes ago, Cynder said:

Not disagreeing.  I do just want to clarify though, I'm female.  And she is a lesbian.  So the fact that she gave it to a man doesn't have the same weight, etc.  

That's your assumption that it would have a different weight if there were romantic feelings attached. And since she is your ex you don't know if in the meanwhile she's developed attraction to or crushes on men -as you know sexual orientation can be fluid. I am straight and have had extremely close bonds with women in my life, found other women attractive looking, etc.  So if for example an ex of mine -a man -gave a painting to his best male friend - it wouldn't matter to me what the sexual orientation was. Certainly in your specific situation being an artist is as Sherry Sher described.  And others who are not artists but have extreme emotional attachments to a work of art for example that they didn't create (I have examples of a few in my own life -at least a few) - would also be hurt.

I'd avoid all the labeling and narrowing in your attempt to analyze why she behaved, reacted, interacted as she did.  Because she is an ex.  So now she is not in your life, you have no idea -assume you have no idea -why she now reacts or acts a certain way, and don't manipulate situations so that it becomes your concern or your business why she does what she does or omits what she omits.  Stay away and none of this will happen. 

You'll also have to give up the thrill of the chase - the attempts to get back into her life, the attempts to see if there's potential - but you already know she is unavailable to you in that way. 

The part of you that refuses to know -that is in denial - is the part you need to do a lot of self talk to IMHO similar to you telling your nephew stuff you know better about than he does so far to keep him safe and out of harm's way.  

I'm sorry how she behaved in this situation upset you and was frustrating and annoying.  Silver lining is you now have yet another concrete, factual reason why you should stay away from her.  (Yes other than polite business interactions at her gas station if that is a place you have to go to get gas).

JMHO.

[WildPump]

You are not completly wrong about the demand but her reaction is off puting. The way she is fighting and arguing there is not much left for you. As an artist you always care about your art. I just leave it here to avoid further pain. Some people are not worthy of your love and care.

[Jibralta]

I think her reaction was way off base. You showed a perfectly healthy boundary, and her reaction was to attack you instead of show you empathy.

I am glad you are questioning this.

[Jibralta]

5 hours ago, Cynder said:

Especially her asking what I did to the painting. 

I think that was a very calculated comment, designed to cause you worry.

[tattoobunnie]

Sounds like she was looking for a way out by picking this fight.  She could have said, "I could ask if I could have it back," and just left it at that, "or let me see if he'd considering exchanging it for something else that isn't as meaningful to me."

Just keep in mind, a gift is gift, whether you make it with your bear hands, the recipient can burn it, sell it, or rip it up if they want, unless you stipulate it's on loan, and can be picked up when it's being scheduled for a showing.

[SooSad33]

1) Was wrong of her to even show you her room now.

2) You admitted how 'crazy' she can be.

I understand your disappointment on something 'personal' you gave her..right?  I'd react the same way 😕 .

As mentioned, was just an argument on top of an argument.. getting you nowhere. She was set off, as were you.

Now, you just remain distant.  Don't 'expect' anything positive from her anymore.

You two broke up..for reason's.  Maybe it is best to leave it all alone now and work on accepting what is.  No more expectations.. no more contact and just focus on YOU.

Work on accepting you are no longer involved.. and healing.. letting go, moving on.

Art is awesome! 🙂 .  I Love art & nature.  So, keep up with that!  Vent out on it, work through your emotions as you must.  ( let this be history now).

One day at a time.

[Cynder]

9 hours ago, Batya33 said:

That's your assumption that it would have a different weight if there were romantic feelings attached. And since she is your ex you don't know if in the meanwhile she's developed attraction to or crushes on men -as you know sexual orientation can be fluid. I am straight and have had extremely close bonds with women in my life, found other women attractive looking, etc.  So if for example an ex of mine -a man -gave a painting to his best male friend - it wouldn't matter to me what the sexual orientation was. Certainly in your specific situation being an artist is as Sherry Sher described.  And others who are not artists but have extreme emotional attachments to a work of art for example that they didn't create (I have examples of a few in my own life -at least a few) - would also be hurt.

I'd avoid all the labeling and narrowing in your attempt to analyze why she behaved, reacted, interacted as she did.  Because she is an ex.  So now she is not in your life, you have no idea -assume you have no idea -why she now reacts or acts a certain way, and don't manipulate situations so that it becomes your concern or your business why she does what she does or omits what she omits.  Stay away and none of this will happen. 

You'll also have to give up the thrill of the chase - the attempts to get back into her life, the attempts to see if there's potential - but you already know she is unavailable to you in that way. 

The part of you that refuses to know -that is in denial - is the part you need to do a lot of self talk to IMHO similar to you telling your nephew stuff you know better about than he does so far to keep him safe and out of harm's way.  

I'm sorry how she behaved in this situation upset you and was frustrating and annoying.  Silver lining is you now have yet another concrete, factual reason why you should stay away from her.  (Yes other than polite business interactions at her gas station if that is a place you have to go to get gas).

JMHO.

I think after last night it might be time to start distancing myself.  I get that she has some mental problems. (So do I.)  But I can't just keep dealing with the emotional whiplash.  She knows I'm dealing with an injury right now.  She knows I'm pretty much couch/bed bound for a few days and that I'm on some pretty heavy muscle relaxers.  She called me to cheer me up and make me feel better.  And when we're on the phone she's just making me laugh and telling me funny stories about her job, etc.  And there's also a huge blizzard where I live right now.  I mean, businesses are closed, etc.  And she's telling me that after I'm better and the weather clears up we need to go hang out, etc.  And then a couple hours later she's going off on me about how "mean" i am to her. 

I even re-read our conversation when I woke up this morning (Well, morning for me... like 4pm this afternoon for the rest of the world.) And I didn't say ANYTHING mean at all.  Maybe she feels guilty for giving the painting away and so she just decided to turn it around on me and make me the bad guy. 

This morning when I woke up and re read everything my first instinct was to message her and try to talk through it.  But then I decided screw it.  She can come to me if she wants to resolve it. 

[Cynder]

7 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I think her reaction was way off base. You showed a perfectly healthy boundary, and her reaction was to attack you instead of show you empathy.

I am glad you are questioning this.

 

6 hours ago, Jibralta said:

I think that was a very calculated comment, designed to cause you worry.

How could I not question it?  Like I told Batya, not long before this she's trying to act all attentive and help me feel better because she knew I hurt myself.  And here I am thinking. "Wow, she's being so nice to me."  And then this happens. 

I think I just need to learn to not expect anything from anyone.  Maybe things would be easier if I just assumed the worst about everyone. 

And your second reply...  I'm still not sure what to think about that comment she made.  Honestly I do hope she messages me tonight just so I can ask about that.  It genuinely did creep me out.

I've had friends ask me if she suffers from DID or something.  If she does it's undiagnosed.  But I can see why people might think that because she has done this before.  She will go from being all happy and calm to being really pissed off in seconds over something that seems innocent. 

[SherrySher]

27 minutes ago, Cynder said:

Maybe she feels guilty for giving the painting away and so she just decided to turn it around on me and make me the bad guy. 

Absolutely. She doesn't want any blame on her for her bad choices, so she decided to turn it on you.

That's not the actions of someone that cares about you, or has healthy ways of coping with things.

I'm glad you didn't message. You shouldn't have to chase someone who was clearly in the wrong.

You had a right to feel bad over what she did.

I do wonder though how much she genuinely cares with turning on your so quickly.

[Cynder]

5 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

1) Was wrong of her to even show you her room now.

2) You admitted how 'crazy' she can be.

I understand your disappointment on something 'personal' you gave her..right?  I'd react the same way 😕 .

As mentioned, was just an argument on top of an argument.. getting you nowhere. She was set off, as were you.

Now, you just remain distant.  Don't 'expect' anything positive from her anymore.

You two broke up..for reason's.  Maybe it is best to leave it all alone now and work on accepting what is.  No more expectations.. no more contact and just focus on YOU.

Work on accepting you are no longer involved.. and healing.. letting go, moving on.

Art is awesome! 🙂 .  I Love art & nature.  So, keep up with that!  Vent out on it, work through your emotions as you must.  ( let this be history now).

One day at a time.

I didn't care that she showed me her room. That didn't bother me.  I am hurt that she gave the painting away though, even though it was hers to do what she wants with.  It was created for her, not some "warlock."  And I guess according to her he needed it to clear bad energy from his house.  Sorry but that just sounds ridiculous.  And I just can't take anyone seriously who calls themself a Warlock.  Sorry but I can't. 

Yea we both were set off.  But I was trying to be as empathetic as I could.  I was hurt but I was also seeing her side of things. 

I'm done expecting anything from her... positive or negative.  She has issues that she needs to work out.  I can't love the crazy out of her.  I know that sounds really derogatory, but it's true. 

[Cynder]

12 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

I do wonder though how much she genuinely cares with turning on your so quickly.

From now on I'm just going to assume she doesn't care.  It will be easier if I just expect nothing. 

[SherrySher]

3 hours ago, Cynder said:

From now on I'm just going to assume she doesn't care.  It will be easier if I just expect nothing. 

You sound upset.

I know people can be really disappointing, even hurtful. Could you focus your time more on meeting someone new and not this person that seems to be incompatible with you?

 

[Cynder]

11 minutes ago, SherrySher said:

You sound upset.

I know people can be really disappointing, even hurtful. Could you focus your time more on meeting someone new and not this person that seems to be incompatible with you?

 

Well the thing is, everyone ends up being incompatible. 

So I'm done trying.  Screw it. 

[MissCanuck]

19 hours ago, Cynder said:

Ok so you agree this whole situation doesn't make sense? 

No, it doesn't make any sense. 

Which is why I would leave her in my rearview mirror, once and for all. It's not worth the hassle.

 

[Cynder]

55 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

No, it doesn't make any sense. 

Which is why I would leave her in my rearview mirror, once and for all. It's not worth the hassle.

 

I never even bothered messaging her today.  Last night I said maybe we can talk tomorrow (today.)  But I just didn't even feel like dealing with her. 

[Wiseman2]

22 hours ago, Cynder said:

  She told me she actually gave the painting away to a friend of hers who is a "warlock." She said he needed it to clear bad energy out of his house, 

The warlock story sounds like BS.

Along the lines of "my dog ate my homework", when people can't produce something.

Exes throw out stuff.  Especially angry unstable ones. 

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Cynder said:

I never even bothered messaging her today.  Last night I said maybe we can talk tomorrow (today.)  But I just didn't even feel like dealing with her. 

Good. 

This mindset will help you move on from her. 

[Cynder]

1 hour ago, Wiseman2 said:

The warlock story sounds like BS.

Along the lines of "my dog ate my homework", when people can't produce something.

Exes throw out stuff.  Especially angry unstable ones. 

Yes.  100%. A warlock?  Really...?  Idk... I just get the impression that if this dude even exists at all he's some edgelord who thinks he's really dark. 

I meet a lot of people through festivals and stuff who are heavily involved with the occult.  People who are really serious about that stuff don't call themselves cheesy names like Warlock.  The term Warlock is a Scottish word that means oath breaker. 

And my paintings aren't meant to be used for energetic clearing.  I don't even know how having my painting in his house would clear all this supposed bad energy.  If he's having that issue than burn some damn sage. 

I still am REALLY curious though... what she meant when she asked me what I did to the painting.  I bet that answer will be pure gold.  Lol.