Is he interested, or am I reading too much into this?

[confuzzled1]

I've been friends with a guy for several years. He's always just called me a good friend, but recently things have begun to change. A couple months ago he started wanting to hang out all weekend, mostly just the two of us. We just run errands, go out to eat, sometimes go to a movie. But we also like to just chill and cook together and watch movies.

However he won't make a move. If I touch him he doesn't immediately move away, but he won't stay touching me very long. Or I'll try to sit next to him and frequently he will move so there is some space. I can't even try for a hug, he will hug everyone but me. He will refer to us as a "we" when making plans, but I can't get any further than that.

[catfeeder]

49 minutes ago, confuzzled1 said:

for several years. He's always just called me a good friend,

This is your answer, and so it's up to you whether you want to continue your investment in trying to convert this guy into more than that.

Personally, I'd read that writing on the wall and spend less time with him, more time investing in finding the right kind of relationship for me.

This guy is not that, and you'll feel this more acutely once he finds a lover to spend more time with.

This doesn't speak of anything undesirable in you, but rather, it speaks of his limited vision, which you cannot change.

Head high, and write more if helps.

[SooSad33]

I have a cpl 'guy friends', that is all they are.

Yes, I go over & hang out.. we'll have dinner, talk or watch some tv and I head home.  Is not every day or every weekend, but we do not see each other as anything other than friends.

I feel this is how he see's you.. Is cool to just 'hang out' with friends and he's buddied up with you.  Just because is of opposite sex does not always mean they see you as 'dating material'.

So, respectfully give him so space.. meaning don;t sit right there all the time so close.  You see him as a friend and don't be in 'his space'.

If you push it too much on him - he may end up pulling away again, hanging out less.

If it's too much for you, then maybe YOU should back off a little .

But, this is just my opinion.  does not sound like he see's you as anything more.

[Wiseman2]

He's just a friend. Why act like a couple?

Step back from this. Don't hurt yourself chasing uninterested men.

Are either of you in other relationships? Have either of you recently broken up with someone?

[Kwothe28]

6 hours ago, confuzzled1 said:

If I touch him he doesn't immediately move away, but he won't stay touching me very long. Or I'll try to sit next to him and frequently he will move so there is some space. I can't even try for a hug, he will hug everyone but me.

What does this tell you? 

If a guy wants to be with you he will let you know. Meaning he would stay close, initiate touch, even hugs and kisses. He doesnt want any of that. You suit him as a distraction, he probably doesnt have nobody and it suits him to have somebody there to do stuff with him. So yes, its a friends deal. You are his "proto girlfriend", he does everything he would with girlfriend but without any commiting. Its clear that you want something more, so if he doesnt, I would at least put some wall between you two for now. Meaning no hanging out every weekend and moving on from the idea of you two being together as in finding somebody else that will look at you in the same way you look at him.

[MissCanuck]

He sees you as a friend, OP. 

[Batya33]

You’re his friend and take care of of you. He will break your heart when he meets someone he is really into romantically and will tell you about her and show you how he feels.  You will know. He will light up when he speaks of her.  Best you distance yourself so it’s more of a twinge when it happens than heartbreaking.  I knew more than one woman who wasted several years on men who never asked them oit and they kept looking for “signs “ that weren’t there.  

My former friend M did this for four years.  I remember I couldn’t keep my mouth shut anymore when after about 3 years she told me how he put his head in her lap at the airport where a group of them were going on a trip related to a shared activity.  I blurted out “he’s leading you on! Why are you letting him do this and he knows you’re into him !!”   I mean he had to know.

 She didn’t appreciate my input. A couple of months later she was thrilled when he wanted to spend the whole day with her at a local park.  
 

Which is when he told her that for the past few years he and another member of their group who she was good friends with had been secretly dating.  But they’d broken up.  Did he ask her out then ?? No.  Of course not. Because he was never into her that way.

She’s in her 50s. Single as far as I know.  I know at least in her 40s she was still looking for a serious boyfriend  

She is so so pretty and lovely and wasted years of her 30s on this guy. He was very handsome and to me very arrogant when I met him a few times.
 

Another friend traveled with her crush and did everything with him and he dated a few gals but never serious.  So she kept pining. Finally in his late 30s he met his true love.  And they had a baby shortly after marrying.

 He never led on my friend but imagine seeing your friend’s Facebook full of photos of his lovely wife and adorable child. Makes you sick just thinking about it I bet.  So distance yourself today.  It really will hurt so much less when he meets his person. 

[waffle]

12 hours ago, confuzzled1 said:

I've been friends with a guy for several years . . . 

You didn't say if YOU are into HIM.

[Andrina]

Your wishful thinking has you assuming he's spending more time with you because he's into your romantically. More likely, some of his other friendships have probably drifted away so he's seeking you out since you're convenient, available, and he can continue with a busy social life.

You showed him signs you were available for closeness. He rejected your signals.

Stop thinking of him as dating material and go back to thinking of him as just another friend. Spend less time with him so you can achieve this. Plus, if you're pouring loads of emotional energy and time into a friend, it will limit your time with achieving your goal of having a bf. Since people are normally very busy with careers and possibly education, and only limited leisure time, a person has to choose wisely how they should use that leisure time wisely, for their own good.

 

[smackie9]

For the love of god just ask him if he ever thought about dating you and say you would be interested. Then let the chips fall where they may.

[Tinydance]

I think he may have started hanging out for some other reason to be honest. It might be because he's been feeling lonely and isolated during the pandemic and he really wanted some company. Or he does like you as a friend and does genuinely want to hang out. If he's rejecting all your advances and he never made any move, my guess would be he's not interested in you in that way.