Growth & Gratitude Journal

[maritalbliss86]

Another random thing that show made me realize again. Bald men shouldn't worry about being bald... I think I've heard before that men who have hair don't have a hard time dating vs being bald?  This was more proof to me that it doesn't really matter. Or at least other things seem more important.

Jason and Brett probably wouldn't consider themselves attractive, or they'd say it's their money and success that makes them attractive if anything.

But there was something **else,** probably their confidence and the way they flirted (when they flirted which wasn't often). I think it was their confidence, being well dressed, and their personalities that were attractive.... And then I do think it's their business success that puts them on the same level as these extremely gorgeous women, some who are models and actresses, so not your average woman. So yes their money and success puts them in that range, but they did have attractiveness aside from that proving being bald isn't the end.

Oh and they aren't even just bald they are also shorter than average, which imo is even harder for a man.  Even still, I hardly noticed these "problems" and both could have had a woman who was in love with them, however, they chose bachelorhood.

I love having a journal to talk about these silly things no one is interested in 😂. 

[mylolita]

1 hour ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Another random thing that show made me realize again. Bald men shouldn't worry about being bald... I think I've heard before that men who have hair don't have a hard time dating vs being bald?  This was more proof to me that it doesn't really matter. Or at least other things seem more important.

Jason and Brett probably wouldn't consider themselves attractive, or they'd say it's their money and success that makes them attractive if anything.

But there was something **else,** probably their confidence and the way they flirted (when they flirted which wasn't often). I think it was their confidence, being well dressed, and their personalities that were attractive.... And then I do think it's their business success that puts them on the same level as these extremely gorgeous women, some who are models and actresses, so not your average woman. So yes their money and success puts them in that range, but they did have attractiveness aside from that proving being bald isn't the end.

Oh and they aren't even just bald they are also shorter than average, which imo is even harder for a man.  Even still, I hardly noticed these "problems" and both could have had a woman who was in love with them, however, they chose bachelorhood.

I love having a journal to talk about these silly things no one is interested in 😂. 

My husband is bald! And only 5 foot 7 inches!

 

Never had one problem with a woman, always had them lined up… including me, the last and final after many 😉

 

They have more testosterone - check me on that fact Ms Science!

 

x

[maritalbliss86]

8 hours ago, mylolita said:

My husband is bald! And only 5 foot 7 inches!

 

Never had one problem with a woman, always had them lined up… including me, the last and final after many 😉

 

They have more testosterone - check me on that fact Ms Science!

 

x

Wow I didn't know that about the testosterone how interesting 🤔.....  Maybe that was the something **else** factor I was picking up on ? I don't know but they are attractive, even if they don't think they are.

I found out years ago that my husband's job makes him produce more testosterone than normal, which was funny because it explained a lot lol 😂❤️.

[maritalbliss86]

Our oldest is part of a singing group with the youth at church ... He was in another one when we lived elsewhere and he really likes singing.  

This one is great though, the woman leading it is really teaching them how to sing. Just really neat!

[Seraphim]

My husband has the friar tuck hair now. Total bald patch on top. But he has a buzzed military cut so it is not as obvious. When he was young his hair was never really thick or luscious. Our son has beautiful thick hair though . My husband is 5’9” so average for his age group. His dad was only 5’6”. Our son is 6’1” so above average height. 

[maritalbliss86]

Quote

I don't feel sorry for men or women who are in denial and play mental games with their partners.  I think it's mean, passive aggressive, and puts the partner in a horrible situation where they feel like the villain because the partner who refuses to see reality constantly plays the victimized role to avoid having to actually DO anything to help the situation.  

Random rant   

I REALLy don't like people who put their spouses in this situation, and then try to act like they didn't know anything was wrong the whole time.  

I get it... they were in denial.  But I also think denial is an UGLY choice to avoid things like Kindness, Love, Compassion for their partner etc.  I think it's just ugly, divisive and mean.  I think they cause their marriage partners so much emotional trauma, and then they turn around and act like they didn't just have this discussion a few days ago, get emotional and cry (manipulation tactics) and make their partner apologize for bringing up an issue at all!!!   It's like the epitome of gas-lighting and mental abuse. Grrrrrr makes me angry.  If my husband did this it would not end well LOL.   And yes there have been times where I've listened to him and his deepest needs and made changes to grow our marriage.  If he was constantly having to tell me he was deeply unhappy, that would be something huge I'd want to deal with - TOGETHER.  Not just flippantly, "forget," (yea right lady I know you didn't forget) and then cry and force him to feel bad for bringing it up again.

The reason why she does the crying and pulls the emotional card of how it's hurting her he's bringing up his feelings, is so that he will STOP bringing it up.  Don't men see this?  I guess not 🙂 

And I HATE that optimists get such a bad rap LOL...  I get it that being optimistic comes across as being dim-witted, or in denial, but a lot of research into the science behind optimism actually shows the opposite!  Optimists have alllll kinds of benefits in life.  They live longer, they have better health, they have better energy overall that gets them through difficulties that would crush other people.  

But they aren't in denial 🙂.

[maritalbliss86]

Just now, maritalbliss86 said:

The reason why she does the crying and pulls the emotional card of how it's hurting her he's bringing up his feelings, is so that he will STOP bringing it up.  Don't men see this?  I guess not 🙂 

 

Oh!  And it worked!  He said he eventually stopped bringing it up, "so that it wasn't causing pain for her."  

So she gets to act like he's a robot without human emotional needs, gets to play the victim, gets to claim he was already about to cheat anyway, and puts everything on him.

That's what people in denial do.  They never take the blame and always see themselves as a victim.  Maybe it's a mental illness but I don't think so.  I think at some level, they know what they're doing.  They just don't have the integrity to admit it.

[maritalbliss86]

There's a really great song about this... the roles would be reversed in this situation (male female), but it's so good

 

[maritalbliss86]

So I had an interesting conversation with a sweet friend the other day.

She is so interesting in her vast life experience!  Been to other countries, has lived in multiple types of financial situations, done amazing humanitary feats with her husband, and I admire so much about her.  But wow LOL!  This particular conversation was out of the blue.

She brought up something that we weren't remotely talking about... and then proceeded to tell me she wasn't judgy anymore about it (but she had been she said).  

It's actually something I could intimately relate to and have dealt with, so I just nodded in agreement and listened to her go on this monologue of thoughts of judging people like this etc, and now not judging them lol.  Here I am sitting there thinking, "OK... Ok... "  Hmmmm 🙂

I mean I could have given her a confession of sorts and let her know I'm the type she used to judge LOL. But there's no way I wanted to do that and reveal that part of myself.  Maybe if we were a million times closer and I actually trusted her, sure, but I save those parts of me for only people who have earned that trust over time... lots and lots of time... years to be honest.  She's still relatively a newer friend in the area we've moved to, and it would take years for me to feel comfortable enough to go that deep.  I think she understood this though, and wanted to put this info about her not being judgey anymore out there, so I could hear it.  It was so odd!  She even admitted that most people don't talk about these things and apologized for bringing it up, to which I was like, "no it's fine, it's something I do understand."  And left it at that.  

I used to be 100% Open though.  I actually took a test in my early 20's and the test revealed I was 100% Open, which somewhat surprised me back then.  I definitely lacked discretion and any kind of wisdom in who to confide in, though, so I've learned the hard way people just take advantage of that kind of naive openness.

I've changed over the years and am kind of like a vault now, very guarded but I think in a healthy way.     I'm 100% open with my husband and family members I trust and friends that I've known for a number of years, but not new people or people I don't actually know for years.

My father in law used to try to get me to divulge my political thoughts on different topics, he'd really try to dig it out what I personally thought.  But I knew we held different beliefs, and to avoid an unnecessary argument, or him holding my personal beliefs against me later on, I lied and kept telling him I, "didn't have an opinion on that," and would politely change the subject.  He would try some more but eventually give up.  

When I'd refuse to give in to his desire to get into frivolous arguments over things like weed or politics, it felt like I was respecting myself and having good boundaries 🙂.  Not allowing someone to force you into an uncomfortable conversation, or get info they'd possibly use against you later on, feels empowering because it is ❤️.  

It oddly reminded me of my father in law, the way my friend was going on about this subject that is kind of taboo.  It felt like she was trying to get a confession out of me... although I'm sure she probably wasn't, but being so out of the blue and taboo made it curious she risked bringing it up only to let me know she, "doesn't judge," those women anymore.  I think I responded well 🙂.

It's interesting....  🙂 

[maritalbliss86]

Things have been so slow lately... with work and homeschool and life.  Then again when it gets busier we seem to be going so fast it's hard to keep up with everything until it balances out again.  Ebbs and flows... ❤️ 

Today was a busier day unexpectedly.  I had meant to fill up with gas yesterday afternoon coming back home, but then forgot with the kids distracting me.  It always seems when life is busier, they actually get louder, which makes me forgetful and have a lot of trouble focusing.  Ugh!  I am very grateful we have them, but I am also grateful for silence and time to myself or alone time with my husband ❤️ .  

Long story short, I almost ran out of gas today, because of being so distracted yesterday 😞 with the kids in the car, and then distracted again today.  I only realized we were very close to running out of gas on a scary highway where people have died!  DRAMA!!!!  I like for life to be peaceful... but then things like this happen LOL ugh....

We ended up making it about 20 more minutes to a gas station, but it was a little nerve-wrecking for me when I realized I'd been distracted for so long and hadn't even noticed it because the kids were fighting/arguing over silly things this morning.  I mean one time they fought over how a song went... 🙄  The entire time driving to our destination the low fuel light was on because it was on yesterday, but I didn't see it *at all* due to being so distracted trying to tell them they were fine and we were going to have a Good Day (lol how ironic).

But my husband is so sweet.  Tonight when we were talking about it he looks at me with his cute, devilish grin and says he'll start randomly checking to see if the gas tank if OK !  As if I want him having yet another thing to have to remember or think about!  But his making light of it somehow makes it all seem so much better.

 

[maritalbliss86]

Had a deep conversation with another friend yesterday... but it was like night and day compared to with the 1st friend I wrote about a day or two ago.  So odd!

This friend is also amazing... I don't deserve hanging out with these incredible women, I haven't *done* anything remotely as hard, time-consuming and sacrificial as they have.  This one is a Pastor's wife, and she really is over the top awe-dropping in the different things she's accomplished on her own (aside from her husband's ministry I mean) - her own ministry and projects, etc.

The first friend I had that last conversation with is a missionary that has helped many many other missionary couples.  Not a normal missionary family, she and her husband managed to create a hub or activity and almost like a missionary retreat type of thing for other missionaries who needed respite - and homeschooled her kids, and hosted this hotel-like place, all while living in a foreign country.  

God called them back and got them into meat rabbits and farming, growing lots of food, too, right before we felt we needed to sell. It is really odd the way multiple people are figuring out ways to survive and save up and be in a position to help others at some point - if it's needed... so many of us can feel it in our bones that it will be needed.

Anyway... back to the incredible Pastor's wife lady.  

So this conversation was probably even deeper than with the other friend, but I didn't feel like it was meant to get me to confess whatever I personally thought.  No... this sweet friend just came across as so much more genuine.  The other one that I really do admire so much - she came across like she had some kind of agenda.  I think I must have felt at some level that she wasn't genuine and that red flag helped me know to keep silent.  I probably should listen to that feeling more - to keep silent.

The Pastor's wife was shockingly real with me, about several things no one would ever talk about or admit.  We were in private... I've known her now for a few months... but something in her must have felt like she could trust me, and she is old enough to have been burned before and I can pick up on her understanding the risk it is to confess things to people while in her delicate position.

I've always had deep compassion for Pastor's wives though.  Even as a kid I understood how awful that position would be, to be judged ALL The Time... for every little thing.  For every failure your kids are perceived to have, etc.

My mom was a confidant to a Pastor's wife, so I think I probably inherited something there, and picked up on those dynamics of being a good confidant as a child being around them talking.  My mom, with all her flaws, keeps secrets to the grave, and she was a good, kind friend to her.

Anyway, it surprised me that I had no problem opening up to this woman, and I did open up (lol deep dark secrets lol).  It surprised me because I had just wrote that I don't do that unless knowing someone for years.  Maybe it's because I can tell she's just so genuine though, and in an extremely vulnerable, unfavorable position.  

❤️ 

[maritalbliss86]

Something else interesting...  it felt incredibly safe to open up to this particular friend last night.  

It did not feel, "safe," at all, to open up to the missionary friend.  Very interesting hmmm....

[maritalbliss86]

Naomi Wolf hitting it out of the park again... on the Roe being overturned, and how she called it years ago...

https://naomiwolf.substack.com/p/on-losing-roe?utm_source=%2Fprofile%2F28216063-dr-naomi-wolf&utm_medium=reader2

Quote

In this essay, I warned that while I was pro-choice, I also recognized that the death of a fetus is a real death, and that an abortion always represents a loss'; that we as feminists risked becoming increasingly hard-hearted and soulless if we continued to embrace a discourse in which a fetus was merely “a clump of cells”, if we persisted in pretending that abortion was spiritually meaningless, and if we continued to posit that a second- or even third trimester abortions were nothing more bloody or catastrophic than “personal choices”. 

I also warned that such mechanistic, amoral language and such increasingly monstrous policies would eventually also create a political scenario that in time was certain to lose: these policies would eventually lose us the reasonable middle: the majority of the country that supports abortion rights in the first trimester but that withdraws its support progressively as pregnancies progress. 

I don’t mean always to be Cassandra. It is a drag. But nota bene, that is exactly what has come about in this past week.

 

[maritalbliss86]

Just processed my first chicken. A lot harder than rabbits ironically.  Scalding water made feather plucking easier though.

Feels so good to have essentially free food in the fridge and freezer... Another way of saying FJB.

[maritalbliss86]

Quote

- I have more respect for people who change their views after acquiring new information than for those who cling to views they held thirty years ago. The world changes. Ideologues and zealots don't.
- In the thirty-five-odd years since the environmental movement came into existence, science has undergone a major revolution. This revolution has brought new understanding of nonlinear dynamics, complex systems, chaos theory, catastrophe theory. It has transformed the way we think about evolution and ecology. Yet these no-longer-new ideas have hardly penetrated the thinking of environmental activists, which seems oddly fixed in the concepts and rhetoric of the 1970s.

From Michael Crichton, the man who wrote the novel Jurassic Park, on his book written almost 20 years ago State of Fear, detailing what he really believed about global warming.  People forget he isn't just a novelist... he was a Harvard Medical School grad.  I marvel at his ability to foresee the way things would play out if one particular area of research was mishandled.  Jurassic Park was so popular because people could believe scientists would be that arrogant in concerning themselves too much with how to do something, rather than if it was moral and right to do something.

Like Fauci and his gain of function research that has been quietly going on for years.  Did we really need viruses that were so powerful they could jump from animals to humans and with spike proteins that destroy the body systems, making people more prone to every kind of illness over time and through increasing exposure?  I'm glad I worked in a research lab long enough to have come into contact with the extreme corruption in high places in the sciences.  It made me lose my faith in humanity somewhat, but my faith was misplaced anyway.  

This next quote makes me think about all the wildfires California has due to mismanagement of their forests, even though they have many programs and government involvement, "ensuring," they are keeping them healthy.  They aren't.

Quote

- We haven't the foggiest notion how to preserve what we term "wilderness," and we had better study it in the field and learn how to do so. I see no evidence that we are conducting such research in a humble, rational, and systematic way. I therefore hold little hope for wilderness management in the twenty-first century. I blame environmental organizations every bit as much as developers and strip miners. There is no difference in outcomes between greed and incompetence.

There really is no difference between greed and incompetence, what a great thinker.  The incompetence causes the same effects... the wildfires are not good for the animals and various wildlife that either die in mass or are displaced, and of course they aren't good for humanity either... no one wins and there's too much to lose when mismanagement occurs.

Anyway... his novel details how he imagines they'll end up orchestrating a mass panic about global warming, with lots of research and evidence to back it up... it's only a novel, but it is interesting to think about how far governments and activists will go to create the world they so crave and desire (think mass panic, global warming lockdowns much like the pandemic, etc. 🙄).  And to think, he had the foresight to write all of this 20 years ago.

Quote

- Nothing is more inherently political than our shared physical environment, and nothing is more ill served by allegiance to a single political party. Precisely because the environment is shared it cannot be managed by one faction according to its own economic or aesthetic preferences. Sooner or later, the opposing faction will take power, and previous policies will be reversed. Stable management of the environment requires recognition that all preferences have their place: snowmobilers and fly fishermen, dirt bikers and hikers, developers and preservationists. These preferences are at odds, and their incompatibility cannot be avoided. But resolving incompatible goals is a true function of politics.
- We desperately need a nonpartisan, blinded funding mechanism to conduct research to determine appropriate policy. Scientists are only too aware whom they are working for. Those who fund research-- whether a drug company, a government agency, or an environmental organization-- always have a particular outcome in mind. Research funding is almost never open-ended or open-minded. Scientists know that continued funding depends on delivering the results the funders desire. As a result, environmental organization "studies" are every bit as biased and suspect as industry "studies." Government "studies" are similarly biased according to who is running the department or administration at the time. No faction should be given a free pass.
- I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.
- I personally experience a profound pleasure being in nature. My happiest days each year are those I spend in wilderness. I wish natural environments to be preserved for future generations. I am not satisfied they will be preserved in sufficient quantities, or with sufficient skill. I conclude that the "exploiters of the environment" include environmental organizations, government organizations, and big business. All have equally dismal track records.

(from his "Author's Message")

I like him.  🙂 What an interesting mind to have on the side of climate skepticism.

[maritalbliss86]

In Tough Times - Goodness Will Prevail

The generation of the upright will be blessed.

Wealth and riches are in his house,

and his righteousness endures forever.

Light shines in the darkness for the upright ❤️ 💡

 

Good will come to a man who lends generously 💰❤️ and conducts his business fairly.

He will never be shaken. 

The righteous will be remembered forever (a long-lasting legacy)

He will not fear bad news; his heart is confident, trusting in the LORD.

His heart is assured; he will not fear.  In the end he will look in triumph on his foes. 😎

He distributes freely to the poor 🤗💰; his righteousness endures forever.

The wicked man will see it and be angry ; he will gnash his teeth in despair.  

The desire of the wicked will come to nothing 👿.

[maritalbliss86]

Recent interesting events... from a skeptic:

1) April fire at the port of Benicia, Calif, harming gasoline production

2) natural gas pipeline explosion in Michigan in March

3) boiler explosion at Shearer's Foods in Hermiston, Ore. in February... company ends up laying off its employees

4) large fire in March at Penobscot McCrum potato processing plant in Maine

5) in April private plan crashed into Gem State Processing potato plant in Idaho

6) a week later another private plan crashed into General Mills plant in Covington, Georgia

7) massive fire at Taylor Farms food processing plant in Salinas, Calif

8 also in April the Dufur, Ore headquarters of Azure Standard, leading organic food distributor, was destroyed by fire

9) and another fire destroyed the East Conway Beef & Pork Meat Market in Conway, NH 

10) early in May a chicken farm in Jones Co Miss was destroyed by fire

12) Walmart fulfillment center in Indiana caught fire in late May

13) also in late May a fire at Forsman Farms in Howard Lake, Minn... killed tens of thousands of chickens

14) mid-June huge fire at Festive Foods pizza plant in Belmont Wis

15)Iowa in April.. 5 million chickens killed after discovery of a single case of avian flu.  

16) 22 million more chickens were killed nationwide in attempt to contain outbreak

17) thousands of cattle died in Kansas in June... blamed on heat (even though farmers are skeptical as this hasn't happened on that scale before, and it wasn't that hot of a period)

18) in May a coal train derailed near Neb.

19) June 1st another train derailed near Lansing, Iowa with 10 coal cars spilling contents into Mississippi River

20) another train derailed in Shiner, TX June 3rd, dumping coal

21) British Columbia another cola train derail on June 18th... losing coal from 15 train cars 

22)same day one more coal train derailed in Lawrence, Kan. spilling "large amount" of coal. 

***

I'm wondering how all these coincidences will work themselves out.

 

[maritalbliss86]

We have a new project going on... it is seriously stressful, but exciting... but so stressful.  

We also decided to start developing on a piece of land (the future homesteading site... we've found it).  So that is also exciting but also stressful.  Clearing the land starts tomorrow, God-willing.  Getting everything set up out there is difficult, but doable... I'm curious how long the land clearing will take this week, because it is difficult, raw, tough land.  

Things are so backed up that even getting septic installed is months out (!).  I find myself wondering can we all survive without working toilets for a few months, just to be able to move in earlier and start life out there sooner.  It would help our homeschool calendar if we were able to move in before September... even without septic.  We'd have water because of the rain collection system install and fill, so we could take showers and wash dishes, baths etc. but not use toilets (black water needs a place to be treated etc.).  Thank goodness our homeschool schedule is really flexible.  We can take a couple of months off if needed, although I'd rather keep on time.

So... can I live for a few months without a working toilet 🤯... the land is worth it, high up in the hills with views 30-40 miles away... independence, more room for our farm animals, etc.  I think we could do it... but ugh!

[maritalbliss86]

.... @Jibralta I wonder if you're incredibly blessed/lucky to have better/stronger tissue?  

I'm surprised mine have done so well after 4 kids and breastfeeding... I was worried it'd be a lot worse, but I've had fibroid issues off and on since before having kids, and a doctor told me one time that they make ones breasts, "thicker," in general, so I'm wondering if maybe having that issue actually helped.  

Do you wear a sports bra or shelf bra built into clothing?  Because those help some more than wearing nothing I'm guessing?  These girls were literally wearing nothing underneath and you could see the whole actual boob through the sides of their shirts (!!!), and that there was no under-boob, just flat as pancakes... like breasts a very elderly lady would have, only on teens and 20's 😕. It looked like their complete breast tissue was ruined, and so so young!  And this wasn't just one time, either that he's seen this and come back to complain to me how awful it looked.  I know I know... he probably overshares, but that's part of why I love him, we tell each other literally everything.

I know my mom was always like, "Wear a bra... I didn't in the 60's and boy do I regret it."  And she had physical results of sagging that she attributed to it ( and no she didn't breastfeed).  

Edited to add an article on it... https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/is-not-wearing-bra-good-for-you

[Jibralta]

3 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

I know my mom was always like, "Wear a bra... I didn't in the 60's and boy do I regret it."  And she had physical results of sagging that she attributed to it ( and no she didn't breastfeed).  

I think some women have breasts that are naturally more 'saggy' than other women's breasts. That doesn't mean they're 'ruined.' It's just how they are.

3 hours ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Edited to add an article on it... https://www.shape.com/lifestyle/mind-and-body/is-not-wearing-bra-good-for-you

I guess the internet provides 'irrefutable evidence' for just about every point of view:

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/going-braless/

I don't know if I'm blessed or lucky. All I can say is I'm doing fine in that department, and I've always been very lax about wearing a bra. Sometimes I wear a sports bra but a very loose one. I hate those stupid shelf bras and I pull them out of clothes that come with them. 

As I get older, things will probably change because breasts naturally sag with age. Right now I'm 45 and they're perfectly fine. I expect they'll be fine into my 50s, at least. When they start sagging, I'll deal with it. There are plenty of solutions out there!

[maritalbliss86]

I just saw some celebrity is getting angry that men noticed she went out without a bra... in a see-through dress 🙄.  So maybe I was right that this is a new trend... hopefully it passes soon before it makes everyone view women as even less capable of making good, responsible, adult decisions.

 

It's very simple, if you don't want to have your breasts talked about openly, then you don't go out in public where everyone will see them and have their own opinions on them.  And she was soooo angry men noticed 🙄.  Her social media post shaming people for noticing was ridiculous.

Kindergarten girls have more sense than this woman.  

I think eventually women are going to lose our rights to vote in this country.  

I will be sad because I love voting and want my daughter to vote.  But I've seen the arguments out there for it, and many women support using their last vote to prevent harpies like this one talking down to them and expecting them to, "Eat Sh*t," and tolerate their disingenuous arguments that they should be allowed to do whatever they want.  I'm sure it will be over a myriad of minor things like this adding up overtime... but I do think it could happen, because this side is just getting too extreme.  And women like her will be so shocked (lol)... like the Roe vs. Wade reversal... it could happen.  

They can't continue expecting the other side to, "Eat Sh*t," if they don't like their children being exposed to their showing everything in public, among other society-destroying issues the other side cannot accept.  

From a male commenter:

"It isn't about your tiny ***, you silly, narcissistic, self absorbed, ignorant woman.

It is about thousands of years of civilization, and the types of behavior and conduct which are beneficial to that civilization, and the types that are not. "

Well said.  I wish she was intelligent enough to understand that, but I think she cares more about winning this ridiculous battle (to wear see-through clothes in public) than the war (to aid in women being seen as responsible adults who deserve the right to vote).  When a kindergartner acts more responsible for their choices than an adult woman, we have a problem.

[mylolita]

On 7/10/2022 at 7:29 PM, Jibralta said:

I think some women have breasts that are naturally more 'saggy' than other women's breasts. That doesn't mean they're 'ruined.' It's just how they are.

I guess the internet provides 'irrefutable evidence' for just about every point of view:

https://health.clevelandclinic.org/going-braless/

I don't know if I'm blessed or lucky. All I can say is I'm doing fine in that department, and I've always been very lax about wearing a bra. Sometimes I wear a sports bra but a very loose one. I hate those stupid shelf bras and I pull them out of clothes that come with them. 

As I get older, things will probably change because breasts naturally sag with age. Right now I'm 45 and they're perfectly fine. I expect they'll be fine into my 50s, at least. When they start sagging, I'll deal with it. There are plenty of solutions out there!

Saw something about t**s and couldn’t quite help myself but comment! 

 

Being part French, this goes without saying, being European and all but, I can count the amount of times I wear a bra all year on both hands. I can’t stand them! I have, very small, perky, gravity defying little French like ta ta’s! I wear flimsy silk shirts and of course you can see the outline - I have no problem with it at all! Often wear backless scooped tops, and very low v necks, absolutely no bra, I feel it only ruins the look of effortless and casual clothing!

 

Here is my torso and tiny boobs, bra less as ever, on the evening of my wedding as all the guests started to throw themselves naked or clothed into the outdoor pool there. Also, first drink of the whole day. And, most tanned I have ever been in my whole life - HA! But the main point - braless as ever and always! 
 

I have absolutely no problem with any woman going braless. Saggy, firm, small, large, anything. I care not a jot! 
 

What I do agree with though is, if you wear a completely sheer top, of course people will look. Surely, you will realise this of course! 
 

Celebrity Twitter insta outrage culture is… a big contradiction and I think most of us have absolutely no time for it at all!

 

But, team goodbye bra here! I don’t mind having my small perkies ogled at though, often I find, tiny boobs are seen as a bit more unnoticed and almost can I say, artistic?! While big buxom boobs have the obvious sex appeal. So I feel like, even at 32, I get away with it. Have you ever witnessed a catwalk? All the models have iron board flat chests. The elegant clothes hang off their braless torsos. It’s definitely a look. Tiny boobs retain you some youthful vibe. Nothing to hide or apologise for in that department! Ladies with large beautiful boobs, I am not biased, I could also write a sonnet on their specific merits also, to add! 
 

I think her mesh top with her perfectly pretty boobs on display was a publicity stunt! It’s been done so many times before. Rihanna does it almost daily. Another pair of amazing boobs. Ahem! 
 

I think there is a fashion trend for ultra sheer that has been around for a few years. It will probably swing the other way soon.

 

In fashions history regarding women there has been outrage at every turn. As soon as the dress line came up to reveal an ankle via Victorian period people were publishing the end of morality forever. The 1920s saw absolute outrage at low hip slunk dresses and women applying makeup and smoking in public. It goes on and on. 
 

If anything is done elegantly and with style, it can still be sexy but strangely modest. I don’t know about the larger debate on moral decline but, I think going braless in a fresh way is eternally chic! 
 

A form of quiet torture for me are those terrible underwire bras! I think I tried one when I was 14 then threw it in the bin the next day! How any women can stand those I just don’t know! Especially in the throws of a hot summer! I salute them, they are made of better stuff than I! 
 

 

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[itsallgrand]

Mylolita, that's so elegant. I love the deep cuts and the styles you wear.

I've always been a bit jealous of women who can pull that off and look sexy and refined at the same time. You definitely can. Me, I look horrible and sometimes cartoonish in clothes like that, and trust me, I've tried lol. I'm stuck with certain styles that aren't too loose nor too tight, not too high nor too low... because the rest just isn't flattering on me at all. Same thing with bras.. There's no getting away with braless or cute little things, but man do I wish. My bras are investments lol. I feel way more comfy with one on and I also just really like undergarments and lingerie. I have a sales lady who knows me and I have an account and I won't fool with anyone else. My SO even knows to go see her if he's going to gift me these things or a swimsuit (I go through a lot) and she picks it out, wraps it, and makes me feel way more wealthy than I really am ha. 

I'm really indifferent to people showing nipples, to breastfeed or just to show em off, but yeah it's another thing altogether to complain if people notice. Harass- no, there's never cool. But notice? Hey it's going to happen. 

I don't think though that it really has much to do with people's pursuit of killing off women's rights. I feel like some people are wing nuts and control freaks and they will be that way even if we cover head to toe. It's just about control. 

 

 

[Seraphim]

Hahaha I wear underwire bras, but I am 42DDD. I can’t get away with braless no way. 

[mylolita]

4 hours ago, Seraphim said:

Hahaha I wear underwire bras, but I am 42DDD. I can’t get away with braless no way. 

Wear them underwired and proud Seraphim! Some of the most intricate and exotic bras like the elusive (for me) balcony bra is boned! Corsets are also made for the over spilling bust! 
 

I have got used to not wearing anything extra! And that also means jewellery! I like a nice watch that is about it. Yawn! I know!

 

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