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maritalbliss86
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Another random thing that show made me realize again. Bald men shouldn't worry about being bald... I think I've heard before that men who have hair don't have a hard time dating vs being bald?  This was more proof to me that it doesn't really matter. Or at least other things seem more important.

Jason and Brett probably wouldn't consider themselves attractive, or they'd say it's their money and success that makes them attractive if anything.

But there was something **else,** probably their confidence and the way they flirted (when they flirted which wasn't often). I think it was their confidence, being well dressed, and their personalities that were attractive.... And then I do think it's their business success that puts them on the same level as these extremely gorgeous women, some who are models and actresses, so not your average woman. So yes their money and success puts them in that range, but they did have attractiveness aside from that proving being bald isn't the end.

Oh and they aren't even just bald they are also shorter than average, which imo is even harder for a man.  Even still, I hardly noticed these "problems" and both could have had a woman who was in love with them, however, they chose bachelorhood.

I love having a journal to talk about these silly things no one is interested in 😂

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1 hour ago, maritalbliss86 said:

Another random thing that show made me realize again. Bald men shouldn't worry about being bald... I think I've heard before that men who have hair don't have a hard time dating vs being bald?  This was more proof to me that it doesn't really matter. Or at least other things seem more important.

Jason and Brett probably wouldn't consider themselves attractive, or they'd say it's their money and success that makes them attractive if anything.

But there was something **else,** probably their confidence and the way they flirted (when they flirted which wasn't often). I think it was their confidence, being well dressed, and their personalities that were attractive.... And then I do think it's their business success that puts them on the same level as these extremely gorgeous women, some who are models and actresses, so not your average woman. So yes their money and success puts them in that range, but they did have attractiveness aside from that proving being bald isn't the end.

Oh and they aren't even just bald they are also shorter than average, which imo is even harder for a man.  Even still, I hardly noticed these "problems" and both could have had a woman who was in love with them, however, they chose bachelorhood.

I love having a journal to talk about these silly things no one is interested in 😂

My husband is bald! And only 5 foot 7 inches!

 

Never had one problem with a woman, always had them lined up… including me, the last and final after many 😉

 

They have more testosterone - check me on that fact Ms Science!

 

x

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8 hours ago, mylolita said:

My husband is bald! And only 5 foot 7 inches!

 

Never had one problem with a woman, always had them lined up… including me, the last and final after many 😉

 

They have more testosterone - check me on that fact Ms Science!

 

x

Wow I didn't know that about the testosterone how interesting 🤔.....  Maybe that was the something **else** factor I was picking up on ? I don't know but they are attractive, even if they don't think they are.

I found out years ago that my husband's job makes him produce more testosterone than normal, which was funny because it explained a lot lol 😂❤️.

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Our oldest is part of a singing group with the youth at church ... He was in another one when we lived elsewhere and he really likes singing.  

This one is great though, the woman leading it is really teaching them how to sing. Just really neat!

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My husband has the friar tuck hair now. Total bald patch on top. But he has a buzzed military cut so it is not as obvious. When he was young his hair was never really thick or luscious. Our son has beautiful thick hair though . My husband is 5’9” so average for his age group. His dad was only 5’6”. Our son is 6’1” so above average height. 

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I don't feel sorry for men or women who are in denial and play mental games with their partners.  I think it's mean, passive aggressive, and puts the partner in a horrible situation where they feel like the villain because the partner who refuses to see reality constantly plays the victimized role to avoid having to actually DO anything to help the situation.  

Random rant :D  

I REALLy don't like people who put their spouses in this situation, and then try to act like they didn't know anything was wrong the whole time.  

I get it... they were in denial.  But I also think denial is an UGLY choice to avoid things like Kindness, Love, Compassion for their partner etc.  I think it's just ugly, divisive and mean.  I think they cause their marriage partners so much emotional trauma, and then they turn around and act like they didn't just have this discussion a few days ago, get emotional and cry (manipulation tactics) and make their partner apologize for bringing up an issue at all!!!   It's like the epitome of gas-lighting and mental abuse. Grrrrrr makes me angry.  If my husband did this it would not end well LOL.   And yes there have been times where I've listened to him and his deepest needs and made changes to grow our marriage.  If he was constantly having to tell me he was deeply unhappy, that would be something huge I'd want to deal with - TOGETHER.  Not just flippantly, "forget," (yea right lady I know you didn't forget) and then cry and force him to feel bad for bringing it up again.

The reason why she does the crying and pulls the emotional card of how it's hurting her he's bringing up his feelings, is so that he will STOP bringing it up.  Don't men see this?  I guess not 🙂 

And I HATE that optimists get such a bad rap LOL...  I get it that being optimistic comes across as being dim-witted, or in denial, but a lot of research into the science behind optimism actually shows the opposite!  Optimists have alllll kinds of benefits in life.  They live longer, they have better health, they have better energy overall that gets them through difficulties that would crush other people.  

But they aren't in denial 🙂.

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Just now, maritalbliss86 said:

The reason why she does the crying and pulls the emotional card of how it's hurting her he's bringing up his feelings, is so that he will STOP bringing it up.  Don't men see this?  I guess not 🙂 

 

Oh!  And it worked!  He said he eventually stopped bringing it up, "so that it wasn't causing pain for her."  

So she gets to act like he's a robot without human emotional needs, gets to play the victim, gets to claim he was already about to cheat anyway, and puts everything on him.

That's what people in denial do.  They never take the blame and always see themselves as a victim.  Maybe it's a mental illness but I don't think so.  I think at some level, they know what they're doing.  They just don't have the integrity to admit it.

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So I had an interesting conversation with a sweet friend the other day.

She is so interesting in her vast life experience!  Been to other countries, has lived in multiple types of financial situations, done amazing humanitary feats with her husband, and I admire so much about her.  But wow LOL!  This particular conversation was out of the blue.

She brought up something that we weren't remotely talking about... and then proceeded to tell me she wasn't judgy anymore about it (but she had been she said).  

It's actually something I could intimately relate to and have dealt with, so I just nodded in agreement and listened to her go on this monologue of thoughts of judging people like this etc, and now not judging them lol.  Here I am sitting there thinking, "OK... Ok... "  Hmmmm 🙂

I mean I could have given her a confession of sorts and let her know I'm the type she used to judge LOL. But there's no way I wanted to do that and reveal that part of myself.  Maybe if we were a million times closer and I actually trusted her, sure, but I save those parts of me for only people who have earned that trust over time... lots and lots of time... years to be honest.  She's still relatively a newer friend in the area we've moved to, and it would take years for me to feel comfortable enough to go that deep.  I think she understood this though, and wanted to put this info about her not being judgey anymore out there, so I could hear it.  It was so odd!  She even admitted that most people don't talk about these things and apologized for bringing it up, to which I was like, "no it's fine, it's something I do understand."  And left it at that.  

I used to be 100% Open though.  I actually took a test in my early 20's and the test revealed I was 100% Open, which somewhat surprised me back then.  I definitely lacked discretion and any kind of wisdom in who to confide in, though, so I've learned the hard way people just take advantage of that kind of naive openness.

I've changed over the years and am kind of like a vault now, very guarded but I think in a healthy way.     I'm 100% open with my husband and family members I trust and friends that I've known for a number of years, but not new people or people I don't actually know for years.

My father in law used to try to get me to divulge my political thoughts on different topics, he'd really try to dig it out what I personally thought.  But I knew we held different beliefs, and to avoid an unnecessary argument, or him holding my personal beliefs against me later on, I lied and kept telling him I, "didn't have an opinion on that," and would politely change the subject.  He would try some more but eventually give up.  

When I'd refuse to give in to his desire to get into frivolous arguments over things like weed or politics, it felt like I was respecting myself and having good boundaries 🙂.  Not allowing someone to force you into an uncomfortable conversation, or get info they'd possibly use against you later on, feels empowering because it is ❤️.  

It oddly reminded me of my father in law, the way my friend was going on about this subject that is kind of taboo.  It felt like she was trying to get a confession out of me... although I'm sure she probably wasn't, but being so out of the blue and taboo made it curious she risked bringing it up only to let me know she, "doesn't judge," those women anymore.  I think I responded well 🙂.

It's interesting....  🙂 

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Things have been so slow lately... with work and homeschool and life.  Then again when it gets busier we seem to be going so fast it's hard to keep up with everything until it balances out again.  Ebbs and flows... ❤️ 

Today was a busier day unexpectedly.  I had meant to fill up with gas yesterday afternoon coming back home, but then forgot with the kids distracting me.  It always seems when life is busier, they actually get louder, which makes me forgetful and have a lot of trouble focusing.  Ugh!  I am very grateful we have them, but I am also grateful for silence and time to myself or alone time with my husband ❤️ .  

Long story short, I almost ran out of gas today, because of being so distracted yesterday 😞 with the kids in the car, and then distracted again today.  I only realized we were very close to running out of gas on a scary highway where people have died!  DRAMA!!!!  I like for life to be peaceful... but then things like this happen LOL ugh....

We ended up making it about 20 more minutes to a gas station, but it was a little nerve-wrecking for me when I realized I'd been distracted for so long and hadn't even noticed it because the kids were fighting/arguing over silly things this morning.  I mean one time they fought over how a song went... 🙄  The entire time driving to our destination the low fuel light was on because it was on yesterday, but I didn't see it *at all* due to being so distracted trying to tell them they were fine and we were going to have a Good Day (lol how ironic).

But my husband is so sweet.  Tonight when we were talking about it he looks at me with his cute, devilish grin and says he'll start randomly checking to see if the gas tank if OK !  As if I want him having yet another thing to have to remember or think about!  But his making light of it somehow makes it all seem so much better.

 

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Had a deep conversation with another friend yesterday... but it was like night and day compared to with the 1st friend I wrote about a day or two ago.  So odd!

This friend is also amazing... I don't deserve hanging out with these incredible women, I haven't *done* anything remotely as hard, time-consuming and sacrificial as they have.  This one is a Pastor's wife, and she really is over the top awe-dropping in the different things she's accomplished on her own (aside from her husband's ministry I mean) - her own ministry and projects, etc.

The first friend I had that last conversation with is a missionary that has helped many many other missionary couples.  Not a normal missionary family, she and her husband managed to create a hub or activity and almost like a missionary retreat type of thing for other missionaries who needed respite - and homeschooled her kids, and hosted this hotel-like place, all while living in a foreign country.  

God called them back and got them into meat rabbits and farming, growing lots of food, too, right before we felt we needed to sell. It is really odd the way multiple people are figuring out ways to survive and save up and be in a position to help others at some point - if it's needed... so many of us can feel it in our bones that it will be needed.

Anyway... back to the incredible Pastor's wife lady.  

So this conversation was probably even deeper than with the other friend, but I didn't feel like it was meant to get me to confess whatever I personally thought.  No... this sweet friend just came across as so much more genuine.  The other one that I really do admire so much - she came across like she had some kind of agenda.  I think I must have felt at some level that she wasn't genuine and that red flag helped me know to keep silent.  I probably should listen to that feeling more - to keep silent.

The Pastor's wife was shockingly real with me, about several things no one would ever talk about or admit.  We were in private... I've known her now for a few months... but something in her must have felt like she could trust me, and she is old enough to have been burned before and I can pick up on her understanding the risk it is to confess things to people while in her delicate position.

I've always had deep compassion for Pastor's wives though.  Even as a kid I understood how awful that position would be, to be judged ALL The Time... for every little thing.  For every failure your kids are perceived to have, etc.

My mom was a confidant to a Pastor's wife, so I think I probably inherited something there, and picked up on those dynamics of being a good confidant as a child being around them talking.  My mom, with all her flaws, keeps secrets to the grave, and she was a good, kind friend to her.

Anyway, it surprised me that I had no problem opening up to this woman, and I did open up (lol deep dark secrets lol).  It surprised me because I had just wrote that I don't do that unless knowing someone for years.  Maybe it's because I can tell she's just so genuine though, and in an extremely vulnerable, unfavorable position.  

❤️ 

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Naomi Wolf hitting it out of the park again... on the Roe being overturned, and how she called it years ago...

https://naomiwolf.substack.com/p/on-losing-roe?utm_source=%2Fprofile%2F28216063-dr-naomi-wolf&utm_medium=reader2

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In this essay, I warned that while I was pro-choice, I also recognized that the death of a fetus is a real death, and that an abortion always represents a loss'; that we as feminists risked becoming increasingly hard-hearted and soulless if we continued to embrace a discourse in which a fetus was merely “a clump of cells”, if we persisted in pretending that abortion was spiritually meaningless, and if we continued to posit that a second- or even third trimester abortions were nothing more bloody or catastrophic than “personal choices”. 

I also warned that such mechanistic, amoral language and such increasingly monstrous policies would eventually also create a political scenario that in time was certain to lose: these policies would eventually lose us the reasonable middle: the majority of the country that supports abortion rights in the first trimester but that withdraws its support progressively as pregnancies progress. 

I don’t mean always to be Cassandra. It is a drag. But nota bene, that is exactly what has come about in this past week.

 

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- I have more respect for people who change their views after acquiring new information than for those who cling to views they held thirty years ago. The world changes. Ideologues and zealots don't.
- In the thirty-five-odd years since the environmental movement came into existence, science has undergone a major revolution. This revolution has brought new understanding of nonlinear dynamics, complex systems, chaos theory, catastrophe theory. It has transformed the way we think about evolution and ecology. Yet these no-longer-new ideas have hardly penetrated the thinking of environmental activists, which seems oddly fixed in the concepts and rhetoric of the 1970s.

From Michael Crichton, the man who wrote the novel Jurassic Park, on his book written almost 20 years ago State of Fear, detailing what he really believed about global warming.  People forget he isn't just a novelist... he was a Harvard Medical School grad.  I marvel at his ability to foresee the way things would play out if one particular area of research was mishandled.  Jurassic Park was so popular because people could believe scientists would be that arrogant in concerning themselves too much with how to do something, rather than if it was moral and right to do something.

Like Fauci and his gain of function research that has been quietly going on for years.  Did we really need viruses that were so powerful they could jump from animals to humans and with spike proteins that destroy the body systems, making people more prone to every kind of illness over time and through increasing exposure?  I'm glad I worked in a research lab long enough to have come into contact with the extreme corruption in high places in the sciences.  It made me lose my faith in humanity somewhat, but my faith was misplaced anyway.  

This next quote makes me think about all the wildfires California has due to mismanagement of their forests, even though they have many programs and government involvement, "ensuring," they are keeping them healthy.  They aren't.

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- We haven't the foggiest notion how to preserve what we term "wilderness," and we had better study it in the field and learn how to do so. I see no evidence that we are conducting such research in a humble, rational, and systematic way. I therefore hold little hope for wilderness management in the twenty-first century. I blame environmental organizations every bit as much as developers and strip miners. There is no difference in outcomes between greed and incompetence.

There really is no difference between greed and incompetence, what a great thinker.  The incompetence causes the same effects... the wildfires are not good for the animals and various wildlife that either die in mass or are displaced, and of course they aren't good for humanity either... no one wins and there's too much to lose when mismanagement occurs.

Anyway... his novel details how he imagines they'll end up orchestrating a mass panic about global warming, with lots of research and evidence to back it up... it's only a novel, but it is interesting to think about how far governments and activists will go to create the world they so crave and desire (think mass panic, global warming lockdowns much like the pandemic, etc. 🙄).  And to think, he had the foresight to write all of this 20 years ago.

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- Nothing is more inherently political than our shared physical environment, and nothing is more ill served by allegiance to a single political party. Precisely because the environment is shared it cannot be managed by one faction according to its own economic or aesthetic preferences. Sooner or later, the opposing faction will take power, and previous policies will be reversed. Stable management of the environment requires recognition that all preferences have their place: snowmobilers and fly fishermen, dirt bikers and hikers, developers and preservationists. These preferences are at odds, and their incompatibility cannot be avoided. But resolving incompatible goals is a true function of politics.
- We desperately need a nonpartisan, blinded funding mechanism to conduct research to determine appropriate policy. Scientists are only too aware whom they are working for. Those who fund research-- whether a drug company, a government agency, or an environmental organization-- always have a particular outcome in mind. Research funding is almost never open-ended or open-minded. Scientists know that continued funding depends on delivering the results the funders desire. As a result, environmental organization "studies" are every bit as biased and suspect as industry "studies." Government "studies" are similarly biased according to who is running the department or administration at the time. No faction should be given a free pass.
- I am certain there is too much certainty in the world.
- I personally experience a profound pleasure being in nature. My happiest days each year are those I spend in wilderness. I wish natural environments to be preserved for future generations. I am not satisfied they will be preserved in sufficient quantities, or with sufficient skill. I conclude that the "exploiters of the environment" include environmental organizations, government organizations, and big business. All have equally dismal track records.

(from his "Author's Message")

I like him.  🙂 What an interesting mind to have on the side of climate skepticism.

Edited by maritalbliss86
Crichton passed away 2008, 4 years after writing this book
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