For the women=What are you looking for?

[Dr.Jekyl]

Okay, everywhere I go, every guy has an opinion on what women want out of a guy. This irritates me, because a lot of guys don't know the first thing about flirting (I'm one of them), so it's usually bad advice. I'll give you a situation.

 

Guy: "Dude, just be really nice, and compliment her"

 

Me : "Have you ever had a girlfriend?"

 

Guy: "Well, not really, but..."

 

Me: "Yeah, shut up."

 

Anyway, my question is for women. What are you looking for in a guy? And don't just say "Oh, I want a guy with a good sense of humor/who is very intelligent/very nice/likes puppies, etc..." because that's either a lie, or you don't know what you want. Be honest about what you look for, (I'm not saying all women are shallow,it's just I rarely see women date guys because they get straight A's), so just be honest. Oh, and guys, you can post too (no one's stopping you), but please only if you know what you're talking about.

 

Peace out.

[Hope75]

This is not a lie and I know exactly what I want.

 

I want a guy who is above all honest. He needs to be straight with me. I also want a guy who is intelligent, who can challange my views and teach me to think in new ways. I want a guy who can make me laugh, every day. I want a guy who treats me with respect, and respects my independent streak as well. Someone who is stable, motivated, and understands that to me a relationship is a 50/50 partnership. No drunks and no druggies. I also prefer a guy who is taller than me, I am 5'10'', and it's nice to be able to reach up to hug a guy.

 

This pretty much sums up my bf, so that's a bonus!

[Day_Walker]

Well first of all you are asking the wrong question never ask what she wants in a guy. Instead ask her about the guys she has been in relationships with. That will give you a more accurate assessement of what kind of guy she is into. People's wants are usually different than what they actually get, thats why you are starting off with the wrong question.

[RayKay]

Not a lie:

 

A guy who respects me, cherishes me, is honest, warm big hearted and makes me feel desired.

 

A guy who communicates well with me.

 

A guy whom shares some of my lifestyle (ie is physically active, outdoorsy) as otherwise he just might not understand my passion, or our lifestyles may not fit. It is nice to be able to share some of my interests and train together for example.

 

A guy who is intelligent - but not necessarily bookwise - just someone who has a natural curiosity and challenges me.

 

A guy who likes to cuddle with me one minute, then ravage me the next

 

A guy who listens to me and always has plenty of hugs and kisses.

 

A guy who shares my values, and I am compatible with.

 

A guy I am attracted to physically, mentally, etc. There is no certain "type" though I go for (though physically active I guess would mean they would be in shape).

 

A guy who shares my sense of humour, laughs with me, at me, can take life as it comes.

 

A guy who makes me FEEL incredible.

 

A guy who is a guy's guy, but knows that treating a woman well or sharing interests with her, and letting her know he loves her is not emasculating.

 

And....a guy who is just as into me as I am into him.

 

A lot of high standards maybe...but it is alright as all were met and exceeded when I met my sweetheart. Sometimes you don't know what you are looking for until you find it

[chai714]

Day_Walker brings up a valid point. Humans have patterns of behavior that can be predicted at times, and is often a result of looking at their past. Many women might tell you, I like this, this, this, and he must have this, but did her ex boyfriend or current boyfriend have that particular trait?

 

I like women who dress conservatively. How did I find this out? Because it's what my past history proves. I did not think to myself one day, "I want a woman who dresses conservatively." A big part of how humans choose their partners is how they were raised, and how they were influenced by their parents.

 

All humans would name generally the same traits of what they want. Ultimately though, there are a lot of unconscious desires that play a part in what they ACTUALLY go for in a person.

[shorty20]

well first of all, different women are looking for different things in a guy. The key is finding the woman that wants the same thing as you. As for me, personally, I want a guy that's focused. A guy that has goals and strives to get there. I need a guy with motivation and passion, a guy that has his OWN life, OWN goals, I hate when a guy makes me his life in the first week. It's too needy and very unnactactive. Being able to make me laugh and have a good time is key, but so is being able to have serious talks when needed. I like a guy that's a good communicator, and a guy that even though he dosen't put me on a pedestal above everything else still shows he cares for me... I know exactly what I want but can't seem to find it. It's pointless to settle, because it never works out in the end. But you can't take the opinions of other girls to get a girl yourself, you just have to be yourself. If you are what they're looking for then it will work out. If you're too nice it makes you look desperate and insecure, but if you're too into yourself it just makes you look like you think you're too good. The best bet is to be yourself, and the right girl will come along. Confidence is also key. As for flirting, I just like a guy that can carry a conversation. If you can talk to me and keep me interested, then the flirting should just come naturally. Compliments are nice, but don't over do it.

[SimoneTiger]

A filthy-rich guy with the looks of Gene Kelly and a dead mother.

[TouchNastY]

Dominant (not domineering)

Not controllable (not uncontrollable)

Unpredictable

 

 

 

All other allegedly positive qualities are derivative of these three, with the exception of appealing physical features and money.

[BillyJean714]

For me, it's really this simple: someone who I can relate to as a Best Friend. If that person treats me like a bestfriend and we bond really well, then honesty, respect, adoration and cherish, the whole 9 yards all come naturally.

 

I heard this over and over. The whole theory on women wanting men who treat them like crap is a load of bull. For women of all ages, I think we all can say that we want someone who we completely bond with: emotionally, intellectually and physically. Same with men. I think that we all just want someone who we can connect with on a deeper level. Okay, maybe not everyone, as in shallow individuals who don't believe in true love/happiness, but you get what I mean.

 

Me personally, I look for someone who I bond with to the point where we both can just look at each other and know what we're both thinking. We both just 'get it.' For instance, when we see something funny, we both just crack up without saying a word to each other. That's when I know that we both bond on the same level. Lastly, of all of the guys I dated, I can honestly say that it's a guy's heart that matters most. A guy can be hondsome, rich, successful, have nice collateral, but if he is not genuine and sincere as a person, then I refuse to be with him. Selfishness is a complete turnoff for me.

[Dr.Jekyl]

A filthy-rich guy with the looks of Gene Kelly and a dead mother.

 

 

:

[BillyJean714]

I think that person was just joking! I hope. LoL

[blueangel]

One who is loving in ALL ways.

[bobster]

All the previous posts should also include at the end:

 

*providing that you are at an acceptabe height to one

[kungfumaster]

One who is loving in ALL ways.

 

and all positions... *please don't hit me

[Queen_Midas]

Ok seriously,

 

Personality:

Intelligent (someone who is well educated) BUT not someone who thinks he's smarter than me.

Respect for women - I am a feminist and very independent, I need a guy who respects that and is not intimidated by it (like most guys are!).

Caring and sensitive - I am an emotional girl and I suffer depression and anxiety, so I need someone who can understand that and is strong enough to help me deal with it.

 

Looks:

Tall - like 5ft10 or over is ideal. Fairly athletic. Big eyes. Just something about him that makes me like him - can';t put my finger on what it is - but i guess it's like an aura or a vibe.

 

MOST OF ALL:

Someone who likes me and thinks I am just wonderful.. hehe! But seriously, I don't want to feel insecure and on the lower power differential, I couldn't handle it!

 

Queen midas.

[chevvyG]

I think it all goes back to primal instinct. MOST girls I know- me included- are attracted to a strong provider type guy but who (as society has changed and expects more of women) supports her in her own goals (work,hobbies). Looks aren't as important to us girls and we all want 2 be treated like the princess in the fairytales. So basically u dont have to look like prince charming- just act like one! Make a girl feel like the most glamorous girl in the world and she'll repay u forever

[asdf]

keep in mind, there's a difference between what a woman wants and what she's attracted to. there are a number of guys who will say that looks don't matter to them, and they even believe themselves when they say it, but in the end, it's the good looking girls who get their attention first.

 

also, there's a difference between what a girl wants, and what a girl is attracted to. there are of course the girls that say they want a nice guy, but end up dating a jerk. i don't really think that they lied, the just want to turn that jerk into a nice guy.

 

so i think the problem is to understand the difference between what a girl wants and what a girl is attracted to. because a girl can be attracted to something that isn't what she wants, if you understand.

[ShySoul]

Men and women all really want the same thing:

 

Someone who will love, understand, and support (mainly emotionally) them. Someone with whom they connect with on all levels.

 

Otherwise the basic qualities apply: caring, respectful, thoughtful, considerate, nice, etc.

[lifeiscash]

Okay I've had alot of experience with girls and I would have to say I'm pretty successful. What I've learned what girls want, is that they want a challenge. They want a guy that can push them to the limits, that can keep them guessing, and the women know that he is in control of himself.

 

They don't want a wussy guy who follows, they want a leader. They want a man that takes action, puts in effort, and reaches for high expectations. Women love a confident man. Women observe body language and signals way better then men, so your actions and how you handle yourself go a long way.

 

They don't want a man that is predictable, because predictable is boring. They want a confident man that talks confident about himself with an added sense of humor. But like I said before.. THEY WANT THE CHALLENGE, if there is no challenge then there is no spark.

 

If we talk about relationships, women want to feel accepted. They want a man to go out of the way to show appreciation for them (but don't do it all the time, then you will be predictable). They want a man that isn't afraid to express himself and to show that he is caring.

 

*NOTE* - When a girl says she wants a sensitive man, she wants a sensitive man when it comes to family or things that are very important to you (religion, family, goals). They don't want a man that is willing to cry in a movie or is overly emotional about small things, it shows weakness.

[ShySoul]

100th verse, same as the first...

 

Challenge may be appealing at first, but it gets old quick. Life throws enough challenges at us. A girl wants someone who can help her throw those challenges and encourages and motivates her to be her best, not someone who is going to add more challenges.

 

It depends on how you define confidence. I find most people are a poor understanding of true confidence. One can appear confident but be an incredible weak person. It takes a much stronger man to be confident enough in himself to admit that he neess help or that he finds small things to be touching. Come on, you cried when old yeller died. You are touched when that little orphan girl says the sun will come out tomorrow. If something is sad a real man isn't afraid to admit it. And girls appreciate a man who is in touch with his feelings.

 

The key is to learn to have balance. Don't cry at EVERY little thing, but don't think you can't cry either. It isn't weakness to show your emotions, its a sign of strength.

 

You don't have to go out of your way to show apreciation, that is for special occasions. The real way to make someone feel accepted is in the little things that you do everyday. It's being there to talk to, remembering what she says or some small detail that makes her smile when you mention it again months later.

 

Basically, men and women want someone that understands them and cares for them. Some girls won't care if the guy is a leader. They may be shy and someone who takes things slow, and want someone who is more that speed. So just be yourself and let someone appreciate you for you.

[chevvyG]

So true Lifeiscash so true. We want a strong leader who'll cherish us but not be at our beckon call

[Minty80]

A guy who is truly confident, but not full of himself. Even a shy guy can work on cultivating that, it doesn't necessarily require being super outgoing or anything, just comfortable in your skin.

 

Someone who is emotionally in touch and can admit when something makes them sad or scared and can and will discuss their feelings. At the same time I'm not super emotional and I don't want to be with someone who doesn't know how to stuff their emotions when necesary (in public for example).

 

Someone who respects my strength and independence and actually encourages it.

 

Someone I can trust not only to be faithful but who I can trust with my emotions and feelings.

 

Someone who enjoys spending time with me, and makes that known, but isn't super clingy about it.

 

Someone who will let me know what they like and enjoy and wants to hear the same from me.

 

A guy who ISN'T chivalrous but is courteous to all people, male and female, young and old.

 

Someone who lets me fight my own fights but is their when I need them.

[Dr.Jekyl]

Thanks for all your help, it's kinda put me in a different perspective.

 

About this confidence thing, I am usually pretty confident, and I'm not a jerk.

My problem with this girl is that I am friends with her, but i know that's all she sees me as. I'm the friend that you would see walking with the girl to class, talking with her a lot, etc. Not clingy, just that guy you know is never going to be looked at as more than a friend.

 

I want to know what I can do to fix this situation. I don't think that if I stop talking to her all together I would fix it (she's a smart girl, she'll figure it out).

 

I honestly don't know what to do, so can anyone help?

 

Thanks to those who have already posted

[lifeiscash]

Your living in the past man, wake up and look around! There are so many women out there and not enough time in this lifetime to worry about just one girl who already thinks of you as a friend anyway. In other words learn the reason "why" your only going to be the friend, find ways to improve it and test it on new girls in new situations.

 

I believe there are a couple reasons why girls want to only be friends with guys. The first reason could be that they are not really wanting a relationship with anyone at the moment but they do want some close people there in their lives. Secondly, it could be that you are doing something wrong when using attractivness. Maybe by some actions or how you are handeling yourself you are doing things that makes her uninterested in you in a romantic way but she realizes that you are a great guy so she has you around as a great friend, which is not a bad thing either.. (plus if she is hot, its always great to have a hot friend with you in other places, you will get more looks from the girls).

 

I say don't worry about her and risk losing a friendship. Go out there and enjoy the dating scene and start finding ways that work for you so that you won't be put in the "friend" category anymore.

 

I recommend go to link removed and read some articles on "dating/love/relationships" Good Luck!